The Longest Journey by E.M. Forster (1907)

He was not an inquisitive boy; but as he leant against the tree he wondered what it was all about, and whether he would ever know.
(E.M. Forster’s milksop protagonist limply pondering in The Longest Journey, page 137)

Forster’s second novel, The Longest Journey, is the diametric opposite of his first, Where Angels Fear To Tread. Angels is short (160 pages), focused, and its main narrative moves at speed. Journey is long (290 pages), slow, digressive and self indulgent. It opens abruptly and a bit confusingly, with a series of scenes depicting Frederick ‘Rickie’ Elliott as an undergraduate at Cambridge, having jokey philosophical debates with his close friends led by the boy they all look up to, Stewart Ansell, before – confusingly – going into a flashback describing Rickie’s earlier life and how he ended up at Cambridge.

Rickie has a deformed foot which gives him a pronounced limp and requires him to wear specially adjusted shoes. As a boy he came to realise that his parents never loved each other; then they both died within 11 days of each other, leaving him an orphan. He inherited a tidy sum of money and was sent to live with a family called the Silts, ‘needy cousins of his father’s’. He had already begun at a public school as a day boy and continued there till he passes his exams to go up to Cambridge and it is here that we catch up with the scenes depicted in the opening pages.

What’s missing from Forster

The first 50 or 60 pages prompted a Big (negative) Thought which dominated the rest of my reading. This that the book contains many, many, many conversations about life and human nature and so on but, placed in a historical context, all these conversations are rendered moot, or even worthless, by their ignorance of everything we, a hundred years later, now know about human nature, science and society…

A few years after the book was published came the Great War which triggered a complete disillusion with the values of previous generations, then the Bolshevik revolution which swept away previous socialist rhetoric and replaced it with a much more militant model of violent revolution and anti-bourgeois terror. There followed the Jazz Age decade of amoral hedonism, short skirts, wild dances and the advent of Fascism in Italy. At the end of the decade, a worldwide economic collapse encouraged the spread of communist belief across the West, which helped the rise to power of the genocidal Nazi movement, all of which led up to the most destructive conflagration in human history. This climaxed with the dropping of the two atom bombs which ushered in the atomic age and generations of fear that the entire human race might be wiped out in a nuclear holocaust. Alongside this, in the post-war years, went the decolonisation which ended the European empires and led to the rise of what we call the Third World, often characterised by ruinous civil wars and/or famines, which recur across Africa to this day. From the 1960s onwards women’s liberation, gay rights and so on have transformed our attitudes to sex, sexuality and gender identity.

By the time I came along, as a schoolboy in the 1970s, all this history was the basic, entry-level materials of serious discussion. As earnest 6th formers our debates about politics or the meaning of life weren’t based on the ancient Greeks or the Renaissance but were informed by the horrors of twentieth century history. Entry-level debate was aware that any line of thought about, say, trying to improve society by scientific means, risked raising eugenics and the Nazis; arguments about trying to enforce a fairer society sooner or later invoked the dire example of Stalin and the gulags; anyone promoting belief in could easily be refuted by the atom bomb, and so on.

Debate about the big issues was both a) informed by the extreme political, social and scientific experiments of the 20th century and b) hemmed in by the way so many of these experiments had ended in utter disaster.

My point is that Forster and his characters know none of this. Everything which makes up the backdrop, the atmosphere, of serious modern debate on almost every issue (politics,economics, socialism, imperialism, feminism, the environment, multicultural society, science and technology, art and aesthetics, you name it) hadn’t happened yet, was invisible, didn’t exist. Although Edwardian people were as clever, canny, passionate, loving, cruel etc as you or me, they lived and thought and acted in a world Before The Fall.

This explains several things about Forster’s novels and our feeling about the Edwardian period as a whole. The obvious one is an idealised nostalgia for a much simpler, more innocent world. This explains the popularity of the Merchant Ivory dramatisations of his novels, especially ‘A Room With A View’, and the tremendous popularity of ‘Downton Abbey’ on the telly.

But the reason I’ve described all this is that, for me, the vast absence of knowledge drums home the boring triteness of the characters’ supposedly ‘serious’ conversations.

Forster’s novels regularly pause while the characters discuss the nature of Truth or Beauty or Love, ‘the Spirit of Truth’, ‘real Life’ and so on, in an embarrassingly callow, undergraduate way – but to our jaded modern eye i.e. to anyone born After the Fall, after the calamitous twentieth century, these conversations, recorded in loving detail and clearly intended to indicate important differences between characters’ beliefs and attitudes, come across as vapid, naive and irrelevant. Basically, who can care for these characters when they’re all so dim and ignorant of everything the 20th century revealed to us about human nature?

This is particularly problematic in ‘The Longest Journey’ because it is a Bildungsroman, the German term for ‘a novel dealing with one person’s formative years or spiritual education’. It is the story of the development of a mind and personality (Rickie’s) – but before most of the issues which form modern minds and personalities even existed.

To take the subject of Art which the characters waste lots of breath talking about, Forster’s novels were written before Modern Art existed or, more precisely, had become known in Britain. The full force of Symbolism across northern Europe, Cubism and the Fauves in France, the Expressionists in Germany, the first stirrings of Futurism in Italy and Vorticism in England – all these are completely absent from Forster’s texts and endless conversations about Art. His and his characters’ notions of Beauty with a capital B are almost unbearably simple-minded. They are late-Victorian, bourgeois clichés about Masterpieces of the Renaissance and the most stiflingly conventional of British salon art.

Mr. Elliot [Rickie’s father] had not one scrap of genius. He gathered the pictures and the books and the flower-supports mechanically, not in any impulse of love. He passed for a cultured man because he knew how to select, and he passed for an unconventional man because he did not select quite like other people. In reality he never did or said or thought one single thing that had the slightest beauty or value.

These people’s one aesthetic idea is that ITALY is the venerated location of Life and Beauty and, above all, the treasures of Renaissance Art, which anyone who aspires to be anyone has to know and remember, down to the finest detail of the obscurest painting in the remotest Tuscan chapel.

These axioms explain how the characters can talk the most almighty guff about the same three subjects (Beauty, Art, Italy) over and over again, in complete ignorance of the worlds of art and philosophy and politics (and communism and existentialism, feminism and environmentalism) which were to colour modern, 20th century, conversations. What I’m trying to explain is the oppressive feeling of painfully limited horizons, petty provincial opinions, naivety and simple-mindedness, which hamper and limit every conversation, character and the overall the narration.

The worship of the Renaissance is tied up with the way Rickie and his friends’ intellectual life is cabined and confined by The Classics. Top subject at the school Rickie joins is Classics. The teachers dream of editing Sophocles. In the British Museum Ansell and Widdrington marvel at how immature they are against a background of Grecian friezes. Ansell, trapped in the Classics perspective, compares everyone and everything to Greek personages and philosophy. So does Rickie, who comments on one of his fellow teachers, Mr Jackson, that:

‘He cheers one up. He does believe in poetry. Smart, sentimental books do seem absolutely absurd to him, and gods and fairies far nearer to reality. He tries to express all modern life in the terms of Greek mythology, because the Greeks looked very straight at things, and Demeter or Aphrodite are thinner veils than ‘The survival of the fittest’, or ‘A marriage has been arranged,’ and other draperies of modern journalese.’

A lot later, commenting on Stephen’s fondness for getting drunk, the narrator says:

Drink, today, is an unlovely thing. Between us and the heights of Cithaeron the river of sin now flows. Yet the cries still call from the mountain, and granted a man has responded to them, it is better he respond with the candour of the Greek. (p.266)

The very same Classics and ancient world which forms the foundation and perspective of almost all these characters’ thought and which they consider an escape from the brutality of British commercial culture, to the modern mind seems more like an incredibly constricted prison-house they can’t escape.

Forster is a subtle, intricate writer but he is writing about a tiny world, a small pond of terribly nice chaps, their paramours and maiden aunts, all displaying exquisite feelings about trivia. Seven years after the book was published they would all be marched off to the meadows of Flanders and blown to pieces in their millions, exposing their naive vapourings about Art or Beauty for the childish posturing it was, for its pitiful inadequacy to the catastrophic possibilities of life.

The Wikipedia article about ‘The Longest Journey’ quotes the critic Gilbert Adair saying that the greatest weaknesses for readers is the book’s ‘unrelenting intellectuality’, which struck me as hilariously wrong. The greatest drawback for readers is the book’s unrelenting dimness. It may often be emotionally subtle, but it is intellectually bereft. And this is important, in fact it’s vital, because the book sets out to be a description of the intellectual journey of the central character.

The plot

The book is divided into three sections which have symbolic meanings associated with the three key locations in Rickie’s life:

He was extremely sensitive to the inside of a house, holding it an organism that expressed the thoughts, conscious and subconscious, of its inmates. He was equally sensitive to places. He would compare Cambridge with Sawston, and either with a third type of existence, to which, for want of a better name, he gave the name of ‘Wiltshire’.

1. Cambridge obviously symbolises Rickie’s callow student days, more generally the life of the mind, intellect etc, and his revered friend Ansell.

2. Sawston becomes associated with his career as a teacher, work, his adult life with Agnes, supervised by her father, Mr Pembroke.

3. Wiltshire stands apart as symbolising the pagan countryside, Rickie’s malicious aunt and his stupid, virile half-brother Stephen.

Part 1. Cambridge

Frederick ‘Rickie’ Elliot has inherited his father and grandfather’s deformed foot, which makes him walk with a limp. His father is quite heartless to him, nicknaming him ‘Rickie’ as short for ricketty. His parents are well-off enough to send him to public school as a day boy. When he’s 15 his father dies and shortly afterwards so does his mother so he is passed to the care of cousins. His only friends from boyhood is the Pembroke family.

Rickie goes up to Cambridge where he makes like-minded friends (Ansell, Widdrington, Tilliard). Handily the Pembroke family son, Herbert, is there and is involved in some scenes. His little band are intellectuals or at least self-consciously aware that they are not sporty types, what later generations would call Jocks or hearties. Rickie is in awe of / worships Ansell, a philosophy student who his little group all think is the real thing although, as always with books like this, there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever of his philosophical abilities.

In the vacation Rickie goes to stay with the Pembroke family where he observes young Miss Pembroke, Agnes, engaged to a hearty a year or so older than him, Gerald Dawes. Something really weird happens to the narration whereby the narrator describes the couple in visionary terms almost as Greek gods, writing paragraphs of purple prose about how the sight of them inspires him to lyrical paeans.

This is all the odder because, once the narration comes back down to earth, it turns out that Gerald was at school with Rickie and sadistically and systematically bullied him. I found it impossible to understand how Rickie the character combines terrorised memories of Gerald with such overblown idealisation of the couple. Maybe it’s meant to indicate how young and callow he is, but it just comes over as weird.

Anyway, shortly afterwards Gerald dies (in a football match, the details are left vague and completely unconvincing). To nobody’s surprise this clears the way for Rickie’s lyrical feelings to spill over into Miss Pembroke and a few short years later he is introducing her to his Cambridge friends as his fiancée.

The minute-by-minute subtleties of interaction between Rickie and his friends, the descriptions of his parents and their tense household, the strange descriptions of Gerald and Miss Pembroke (Agnes), his debates about Love and Art with his best friend Ansell, his visit back to the old school, all the other little interactions with his relatives or friends at uni or his bedder or Miss Pembroke’s chaperone (Mrs Lewin) – I register all the micro-discriminations embedded in the text but just didn’t care. His depiction of Cambridge stinks of the kind of incestuous pretentiousness where everyone talks about each other having a ‘first rate mind’, being a genius, being fearfully bright etc. The Bloomsbury style of navel-gazing much of which, to us, sounds like children.

Rickie: ‘Doing right is simply doing right.’
Agnes: ‘I think that all you say is wonderfully clever.’ (p.143)

Anyway, his best friend Ansell takes against Agnes and thinks they are badly mismatched. He thinks ‘she is happy because she has conquered; he is happy because he has at last hung all the world’s beauty on to a single peg’ but, in Ansell’s view, they are both deluded.

So: sensitive young man goes to Cambridge, falls in love with schoolfriend’s fiancée, his best friend disapproves, he hopes to become a writer but his ambitions are disappointed yadda yadda.

Mrs Failing in Wiltshire

The happy couple go to visit his closest living relative, his aunt, his father’s sister, Mrs Emily Failing who lives in a grand grey house, Cadover, with a farm in flat Wiltshire (‘From the distance it showed as a grey box, huddled against evergreens’).

Aunt Emily is a distracting character, a widow deliberately taunting her staff and in particular a beefy young man Agnes’ and Rickie’s age who’s staying with her, named Stephen Wonham, who is remarkably stupid and earthy. She has a gift for making everyone uncomfortable. She makes Rickie go for a horse ride he doesn’t want to and then is tiresome and contrary with Agnes who she takes on a walk to her arbour. She nastily insists on calling Stephen a ‘hero’ for belittling and mocking Rickie.

Anyway, one day on a walk out to a barrow near her land Miss Failing deliberately shocks and upsets Rickie by telling him the family secret that Stephen is his half-brother. Rickie is so shocked he faints. When he tells Agnes she is repelled but cross at Miss Failing. She confronts her and the latter admits she did it partly to shock Rickie. She reassures Agnes that she hasn’t told Stephen himself. They fob the poor dolt (Stephen) off, in a bizarre way, by giving him a few sovereigns and telling him to go for a walk down to the sea (a journey which will take several days) and off he lumbers into the night.

If I may hazard an interpretation, the two brothers symbolise opposites, like Cain and Abel. Where Rickie is effete, over-intellectual callowness, Stephen is under-brained and earthy. Spirit versus matter. Soul versus body, etc etc.

Oddly, with the odd change of perspective and unexpected events which you wouldn’t have expected, the narrator very casually tells us that Rickie found this news so traumatic that he took to his bed for a year. During this period he tried to get his eight or nine little short stories published. When we are told they are tales of paganism in England and he has titled the volume ‘Pan Pipes’ we realise this is very close to Forster’s own short stories which are unexpectedly strange and visionary tales of paganism in England.

(Agnes is justifiably sceptical about Rickie’s chances as a writer: ‘she had always mistrusted the little stories, and now people who knew agreed with her. How could Rickie, or any one, make a living by pretending that Greek gods were alive, or that young ladies could vanish into trees?’ p.156.)

Rickie goes to see the editor of Holborn magazine who is supportive but unfortunately can’t publish any of his stories, saying they are good in parts but need to be good throughout (p.149). He meets Agnes in a London restaurant:

‘Can’t you try something longer, Rickie?’ she said; ‘I believe we’re on the wrong track. Try an out-and-out love story.’
‘My notion just now,’ he replied, ‘is to leave the passions on the fringe. She nodded, and tapped for the waiter: they had met in a London restaurant. ‘I can’t soar; I can only indicate…’

Is that a self portrait, Forster’s deprecating view of his own fiction? Or, more probably, a view he once and sometimes held, attributed to this ambitious but ineffectual young character? If so it’s ironic that so much of this novel is strange and visionary – in other words, does soar.

Anyway, the (unnamed) editor suggests that Rickie try to see a little more of Life. All very well but as he takes a cab through the London streets, Rickie wonders where you find this Life.

As he rumbled westward, his face was drawn, and his eyes moved quickly to the right and left, as if he would discover something in the squalid fashionable streets some bird on the wing, some radiant archway, the face of some god beneath a beaver hat. He loved, he was loved, he had seen death and other things; but the heart of all things was hidden. There was a password and he could not learn it, nor could the kind editor of the Holborn teach him. He sighed, and then sighed more piteously.

Alack-a-day.

2. Sawston

Part two describes how Agnes’s weak-willed schoolmaster father, Mr Pembroke, in need of help, suggests to his daughter Agnes that she and Rickie get married, come and live and work at the school. (There is a comic digression when Mr Pembroke proposes to his kindly old friend Miss Orr, who has the good sense to turn him down.) Agnes thinks it’s a great idea and sets about persuading him, using the argument that there’ll be long holidays to write in, and it’s an altruistic profession with lots of opportunities to do good. Which triggers a typically naive effusion from Rickie:

To do good! For what other reason are we here? Let us give up our refined sensations, and our comforts, and our art, if thereby we can make other people happier and better. The woman he loved had urged him to do good! With a vehemence that surprised her, he exclaimed, ‘I’ll do it.’ (p.156)

So Rickie and Agnes move into the free accommodation arranged by her father and he is paid to become a trainee teacher, learning about the gown, the timetable, how to manage the boys, the other members of staff. He is supervised and supported by Agnes’ brother, Herbert, who had been with him at Cambridge and has gone on to follow his father into teaching. Slyly, Forster shows us how Rickie finds himself being manipulated and used in the tiny but fiercely fought micro politics of the staff room, specifically by Herbert whose drawbacks Rickie slowly comes to realise.

Rickie and Agnes get married

They all get married, don’t they, the young characters in novels by Forster, H.G. Wells and Arnold Bennett? In one sense it’s all they can do with their lives, it’s the only interest in them as characters. Rickie’s marriage to Agnes is treated as an anti-climax. The ceremony isn’t described, instead the way they settle into their new roles as man and wife both living at Sawston school. Agnes dislikes emotion and turmoil and quite quickly Rickie gets used to not discussing his deeper feelings.

Remember the rather ludicrous vision Rickie had of Agnes and Gerald as Greek gods when he saw them embracing? Now that turns out to be playing a sort of structural role for Rickie, because it turns out he is destined never again to see Agnes with the same intensity.

In such a bustle, what spiritual union could take place? Surely the dust would settle soon: in Italy, at Easter, he might perceive the infinities of love. But love had shown him its infinities already. Neither by marriage nor by any other device can men insure themselves a vision; and Rickie’s had been granted him three years before, when he had seen his wife and a dead man clasped in each other’s arms. She was never to be so real to him again. (p.171)

They settle into a frank good fellowship.

Ansell and Widdrington

Ansell is in the British Museum studying for his second dissertation. Tellingly, his first one failed. I think the novel is dramatising the discovery that real life turns out not to be the glamorous cakewalk we think it’ll be when we’re carefree students.

Widdrington is a mutual friend of his and Rickie’s. He went to see the newly married couple at Sawston and discovered two things: 1) he doesn’t like Agnes, who he finds stony and abrupt, no soul; and 2) Rickie is unhappy. This is due to something which the narrator told us about earlier and I didn’t really understand, but which this character Widdrington explains with admirable clarity. It is that the school where Rickie’s teaching was established as a private school for day boys from the locality. However the more ambitious head master and teachers want to expand the number of boarders because 1) more money 2) posher, like a proper public school. But this will reduce the places available for day boys and so there is quite a fierce debate going on between two factions of the staff but also with angry parents of day boys who feel their being bilked. Ansell says he couldn’t care less. He and Rickie now have nothing in common and describes Agnes as ‘that ghastly woman’.

Back at school

Back at Sawston School Rickie has realised he is not cut out to be a teacher, that Agnes doesn’t respect him and he was ceasing to love her. The boys despise Rickie and hate Agnes’s strictness. Oh dear, we’re on page 186 of 288. Will he find another love or will he soldier on becoming more lonely and sad? In one sense it’s a portrait of the many men who were relieved by the outbreak of the First World War because it liberated them from lives of quiet despair.

The daughter

Agnes gets pregnant and in due course goes into labour. As was the custom Rickie wasn’t even told, just a tap at the door of the prep class he’s taking and Herbert takes him into the corridor to deliver the news. He has a daughter but she is lame, much lamer than him, will only walk with crutches. Everyone is very nice but Rickie is stricken. After just a week the poor mite dies.

Varden

Another bad thing happens. The weakest member of the house he’s in charge of, Varden, is set upon by virtually the entire class one night after school, pushing him down onto the floor, rubbing his nose in the dirt and yanking his ears. Herbert hears and breaks it up but Varden is injured and has to have an operation before being taken out of the school by his parents. Herbert can’t understand how his young men could be so beastly but the narrator has an explanation:

What had come over his boys? Were they not gentlemen’s sons? He would not admit that if you herd together human beings before they can understand each other the great god Pan is angry, and will in the end evade your regulations and drive them mad.

Forster genuinely seems to believe in his rather limp-wristed form of paganism. In the complete absence of Freud, Jung and modern psychology, this kind of literature-based – and Classical literature-based – theory of human nature appears to be all Forster had.

Agnes has gotten over the dead daughter (‘She had got over the tragedy: she got over everything.’) She tells Rickie he needs to make up the argument he had with Aunt Emily. In a flash he perceives it’s because Agnes is after Aunt Emily’s money and they have a big quarrel, their first big fight. Agnes despises him for thinking in poetic terms; he is desperately disappointed she is so mundane and mercenary. He is learning wisdom = the disillusionments of life.

He perceived more clearly the cruelty of Nature, to whom our refinement and piety are but as bubbles, hurrying downwards on the turbid waters. They break, and the stream continues.

In a strange and wildly improbable development it turns out that this wretched bullied boy Varden had been sending letters to a variety of people, public and private, asking for their help and prayers, many of whom had charitably replied. What’s improbable is that the boy had somehow managed to write to Stephen, Rickie’s half-brother, who had written a semi-illiterate reply. This is a wild improbability but it is here so that Rickie can be plunged into a crisis about his life, filled with anger and despair that his half-brother, in his sturdy peasant illiteracy, is the one who will survive and flourish.

Forster’s narrators are surprisingly intrusive, explaining, judging, leaping gaps in the narrative and generally showing us round. Just such a passage ends a horrible sleepless night of dreams and nightmares when the narrator baldly tells us:

Henceforward he deteriorates. Let those who censure him suggest what he should do. He has lost the work that he loved, his friends, and his child. He remained conscientious and decent, but the spiritual part of him proceeded towards ruin. (p.197)

In a department store in London the pair bump into Maud Ansell, Stewart’s sister. She informs them that Stewart failed his dissertation a second time. Now he will never be a don, never have a Cambridge career, everything they scrimped and saved for has been wasted. Agnes is patronising to her; Maud gets angry.

A digression in which Forster, to be fair, tells us Agnes has her own tragedy. She realises her marriage has failed but refuses to be sentimental about it. She wishes her husband was taller, richer, more domineering. Ho hum. Life goes on.

But this is prelude to a big family fight. At dinner with Agnes and Herbert when the post arrives. First a small surprise, that Mr Jackson, a teacher in the rival ‘progressive’ faction has invited them to dinner. This is because, slightly incomprehensibly, Jackson is playing host to Stuart Ansell who has invited himself down to the school but not wanting to stay with Rickie, who he has been so long estranged from.

But another letter is from Aunt Emily and it’s this that triggers the bitter argument. Rickie knows that Agnes has been to visit Aunt Emily several times. Now a letter comes with the upshot of these visits which is that Emily is dismissing Stephen from staying with her and sending him off to a colony to make his own way. Rickie is outraged to learn that Agnes has been using his name to blacken Stephen in his aunt’s eyes and lets slip the secret fact that his father ‘strayed’ i.e. Stephen is his half-brother.

Rickie’s anger against his wife not surprisingly makes Herbert rise to the defence of his sister but also because Herbert doesn’t like disorder and wants to calm any argument. He backs up her accusation that the Elliots are an odd family, that Aunt Emily has behave badly, that Stephen is a monster best out of the country etc. Rickie could weep with frustration at not being able to make him see what Agnes has done wrong and how manipulative she’s being. For a moment brother and sister are very close in their wrong-headedness. Then the narrator goes on to editorialise.

There are moments for all of us when we seem obliged to speak in a new unprofitable tongue. One might fancy a seraph, vexed with our normal language, who touches the pious to blasphemy, the blasphemous to piety. The seraph passes, and we proceed unaltered. (p.210)

Whether you like this kind of rhetoric and diction will determine whether you like this book. I understand its delicate poetic intent. I understand it is a metaphor. But in the difficult lives we are faced with I find it neither really insightful nor a practical help.

Ansell visits

I haven’t mentioned that Aunt Emily’s deceased husband, Anthony Failing (‘He loved poetry and music and pictures, and everything tempted him to live in a kind of cultured paradise, with the door shut upon squalor’), left a volume of essays (titled ‘What We Want’) to which she wrote a little introduction and which has now been published. Ansell, the failed philosopher is reading and annotating it in the garden of Sawton School.

The passage he’s reading is on the difference between coarseness and vulgarity (coarseness, revealing something; vulgarity, concealing something). This is an example of the useless, superficial diddling which passes for ‘thought’ among these people. It’s more a question of manners and etiquette than any kind of serious structural analysis. No wonder England was considered the unintellectual country all across the Continent.

Anyway Ansell is quietly seething because at dinner the night before, old Mr Pembroke and his daughter, Agnes, had both commiserated in a way which made it clear they consider him a failure. His reflections are interrupted when someone throws a clod of earth at his back and he gets into a ridiculous fight with Stephen Wonham although it takes him a moment, and the narrator quite a long time, to confirm his identity. When you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Ansell is oversoaked in late-Victorian fetish for all things ancient Greek and so is struck that Stephen is like…an ancient Greek.

He gave the idea of an animal with just enough soul to contemplate its own bliss. United with refinement, such a type was common in Greece. It is not common today (p.216)

Because this is such an obvious thought the narrator tries to dress it up in fancy syntax.

Was it only a pose to like this man, or was he really wonderful? He was not romantic, for Romance is a figure with outstretched hands, yearning for the unattainable. Certain figures of the Greeks, to whom we continually return, suggested him a little. (p.217)

Anyway Stephen tells the story of how Aunt Emily, backed up by the old retainers, kicked him out, giving him £100 and throwing a packet at him which contained the documents proving he is Rickie’s half-brother. He’s been travelling rough across country to the school to tell Rickie (not realising that Rickie already knows). At this point, the maid comes to call Stephen into the house for an interview with Mrs Elliot (not Rickie). Ansell fantasises that the menfolk will have gone up to dress for dinner not realising what a bombshell was bursting downstairs and, characteristically, sees it through the prism of ancient Greek drama.

The irony of the situation appealed to him strongly. It reminded him of the Greek Drama, where the actors know so little and the spectators so much. (p.221)

Part one of the denouement is Stephen and Mrs Elliot (Agnes). She invites him in for an interview and immediately gets down to business offering him £2 if he will sign a contract swearing to keep silent forever about being Rickie’s brother. it takes him some minutes to understand what is going on which Agnes takes for playing hard to get. Once he understands he stands up, outraged or disgusted, and simply walks out.

Part two of the denouement comes when Agnes, Rickie and Herbert call Ansell to come into the hall because it is now dinner time. The hall is full of their boys and servants bringing in the meal. It is in front of all these that Ansell deliberately humiliates Rickie by telling him he has a brother he doesn’t know about, and that his wife has hidden from him. Much gasping among the boys, and some prefects stand as if to make a physical defence but Ansell ploughs on to accuse Rickie of being the one who’s passed on accusations about Stephen and so caused his brother to be turned out of his home and sent to be a tramp. It’s hard to imagine a more ruinous accusation and in front of Rickie’s entire House.

But Rickie compounds the situation by admitting he had a philanderer for a father and a dark horse for a brother. In front of all the boys. Who will go home and tell their parents. Who will threaten to withdraw their boys from the school. But it’s then that Ansell drops the real bombshell which none of us expected: Stephen is not the son of his philandering father but of his unfaithful mother! Rickie faints and has to be carried from the hall. Pandemonium. The gossip is broadcast throughout the school within the hour.

Part 2 ends with a page of Forster editorialising which I will include in its entirety as a chunk of his style and thought. I understood all the words and read it twice but still don’t know what it means.

The soul has her own currency. She mints her spiritual coinage and stamps it with the image of some beloved face. With it she pays her debts, with it she reckons, saying, ‘This man has worth, this man is worthless.’ And in time she forgets its origin; it seems to her to be a thing unalterable, divine. But the soul can also have her bankruptcies.

Perhaps she will be the richer in the end. In her agony she learns to reckon clearly. Fair as the coin may have been, it was not accurate; and though she knew it not, there were treasures that it could not buy. The face, however beloved, was mortal, and as liable as the soul herself to err. We do but shift responsibility by making a standard of the dead.

There is, indeed, another coinage that bears on it not man’s image but God’s. It is incorruptible, and the soul may trust it safely; it will serve her beyond the stars. But it cannot give us friends, or the embrace of a lover, or the touch of children, for with our fellow mortals it has no concern. It cannot even give the joys we call trivial – fine weather, the pleasures of meat and drink, bathing and the hot sand afterwards, running, dreamless sleep. Have we learnt the true discipline of a bankruptcy if we turn to such coinage as this? Will it really profit us so much if we save our souls and lose the whole world?

If we start from the position that there is no soul and no God then surely these 250 words are literally meaningless. They may have value as a metaphor but like so many of Forster’s metaphors are such hard work for so little reward that it’s not worth the effort.

I liked the Great Scene of Ansell denouncing his old friend because it was dramatic, and the entire storyline of the disreputable relative carries the whiff of Victorian melodrama at its most garish. Think of Pip discovering the truth about Magwitch in Great Expectations. But the comparison also highlights Forster’s limp-wristed diffuseness. He has regular moments of great perspicuity and imagines his characters in great detail – but at the same time he drowns them in half-hearted treacle about The Greek Spirit and the Great God Pan and the currency of the soul.

Part 3. Wiltshire

I was expecting Rickie to quit being a schoolmaster, maybe separate from Agnes, and retire injured to Aunt Emily’s estate where, maybe, he finds his true self amid the pagan countryside… Maybe someone has to die or commit suicide to give it the real oomph that a serious novel of his time aspired to…

But the book commences a new part because it denotes a change not only of scenery but of time. It took me a few pages to realise what was going on, but the entire narrative ups sticks and flashes back twenty years or more, to an account of How Mrs Elliot, Rickie’s Mother, Ran Off With a Farmer i.e. how Stephen the half-brother was conceived.

Basically a farmer named Robert fell hopelessly in love with Mrs Elliot on first meeting her at Tony and Emily Failing’s house when Mr and Mrs Elliott are visiting. Tony Failing gets wind of it and escorts him off the premises but not too sharply since he is the author of those whimsical essays about vulgarity and whatnot and so tolerates Robert’s visits on condition they are squeaky clean. Typically, Tony’s confused moral position is expressed in classical metaphor:

For he remembered that sensual and spiritual are not easy words to use; that there are, perhaps, not two Aphrodites, but one Aphrodite with a Janus face. (p.233)

And so Robert nurses his love but remains outwardly clean, polite and civil for six long years until one day he calls and finds Mrs Elliot alone and, in his blunt country way, declares his love for her. She tells him to leave this instant but Mr Elliot returns at this point and is much more civil and suave. This turns out to be a mistake because it breaches the emotional defences against Robert which Mrs Elliot was just about holding together and next thing you know… they have run off to Stockholm!

Tony and Emily Failing get a letter from her from Stockholm, debate what to do, then set off to Stockholm to confront her. However, by the time they arrive, Robert has drowned. A landsman, he had never swum in the sea before and didn’t know about tides, got carried away and drowned. (You can’t help feeling Forster has a very casual way with his characters’ lives.) So the lover is conveniently out of the way but not before impregnating Mrs Elliot. The Mrs and Mrs Elliot manage to reconcile but Mrs Elliot remains abroad in order to conceal her pregnancy and giving birth: she returns to England with him, giving out that he is the baby of a family friend. Everything about her elopement and having another man’s baby is covered up.

She comes to dislike her forgiving husband but, strangely, to love both her boys. Love for Stephen, who’s the spitting image of his father, rough and strong and blunt, makes her love Rickie the more. When Mr Elliot dies in middle age, his wife looks forward to the autumn of her years raising her two boys but fate had other plans and she herself dies shortly afterwards.

So there’s the backstory – how Rickie has a half-brother of a completely different characters – all neatly explained. The next chapter describes the growth of young Stephen. Actually it jumps straight to his young manhood when he wanders like a pagan god among the rolling farmland of Wiltshire. The deaths in quick succession of Mr Failing who was looking after him, Mr Elliot and then Mrs Elliot who was always kind to him (because she was, unknown to him, his mother) means none of them had had time to make a will or leave him any money. Instead he falls into the care of Mrs Failing, Aunt Emily, who maliciously thinks it will be comical to keep the two boys apart and in ignorance of their true relationship.

Jump back to the present and the scene we left, with Stephen blundering out of Sawston school. Ansell goes running round looking for Stephen but the latter has hidden under a railway archway. He heads into London and gets a job for a few weeks with a removal company. He holds a horse for a man who overtips him. He sends some of the money to Cadover to pay for the windows he smashed after being kicked out by Mrs Failing. Then, unable to stay away, he gets blind drunk and makes his way back to Sawston where he announces his presence by throwing a brick through a window and breaking down the front door, waking up Rickie, Herbert and Ansell.

So. There are 40 pages of the novel left and we are in a pickle. What can possibly happen next? What happens is next day Stephen is full of contrition while Rickie, Herbert and Agnes have to go about their days’ duties. Once Stephen’s woken up from his hangover sleep, Rickie has an interview with him which goes wrong because Stephen is pagan simplicity and refuses to fit into Rickie’s bourgeois preconceptions and concerns.

Above all, Stephen realises that Rickie’s wish to have him (Stephen) stay at Sawston isn’t based on a true understanding of his personality, but because Stephen reminds him of his mother who he has never stopped loving. Stephen rejects all this sentimental tripe and tears up the photo of their mother which Rickie hands him, steps outside into the fog and then… asks Rickie to come with him! It is a key decision point. Rickie looks back at the house containing Herbert, an average scheming teacher who sides against him, and his wife who despises him and… what the hell! goes running off into the fog with Stephen.

Rickie set free

I was hoping the two half-brothers would roam like swaggering vagabonds across the south of England but this is a Forster novel, timid and fearful like its author. So Rickie and Steven end up going to stay with the Ansells in some village. Agnes quickly learns that Rickie’s gone there, she and Herbert try to persuade him to come home but he isn’t interested.

There’s some chaff about this but the last big action of the novel comes when Aunt Emily invites Rickie to visit her at Cadover. Again. So off he sets. Just for a lark, Stephen at the last minute jumps into the train in order to come with him, despite all Rickie’s protestations. He’s grown to like his straightforward, undeceitful brother, even if they all disapprove of his new penchant for heavy drinking.

There follows a surprisingly prolonged description of Rickie’s railway journey towards Salisbury. During it Rickie extracts a promise from Stephen that he’ll remain sober for the duration of their two or three-day stay. Then he gets a pony and trap out to Mrs Failings’ house. Rickie forbids Stephen from accompanying him so Stephen instead goes to the local pub, The Antelope.

The title phrase and homosexuality

The phrase ‘the longest journey’ comes from Percy Bysshe Shelley’s poem Epipsychidion. Rickie reads this section of the poem aloud when he’s in Wiltshire.

I never was attached to that great sect
Whose doctrine is, that each one should select
Out of the crowd a mistress or a friend,
And all the rest, though fair and wise, commend
To cold oblivion, though it is in the code
Of modern morals, and the beaten road
Which those poor souls with weary footsteps tread,
Who travel to their home among the dead
By the broad highway of the world, and so
With one chained friend, perhaps a jealous foe,
The dreariest and longest journey go.

I’m not completely certain what it means or what its relevance is to the narrative. Does it imply that Rickie is one of ‘those poor souls’ who condemns himself to travelling the ‘longest journey’ (of life?) ‘with one chained friend, perhaps a jealous foe’? In which case, who precisely is this chained friend and jealous foe? Is it Stephen, the half-brother who haunts his respectable life? Or his heartless wife, Agnes?

The phrase is repeated again, right at the end of the book, when Stephen has come along with Rickie on his visit to Aunt Emily. Before Rickie goes on to visit the aunt the pair play like schoolboys in a stream, lighting paper lanterns which float down the stream, rather beautifully. Rickie is caught wondering what his life has been about.

Romantic love is greater than this. There are men and women — we know it from history — who have been born into the world for each other, and for no one else, who have accomplished the longest journey locked in each other’s arms. But romantic love is also the code of modern morals, and, for this reason, popular. Eternal union, eternal ownership—these are tempting baits for the average man. He swallows them, will not confess his mistake, and — perhaps to cover it — cries ‘dirty cynic’ at such a man as Stephen. (p.271)

Again, I didn’t really follow this. As Rickie follows Stephen’s instructions for making the lanterns, he feels transformed.

Rickie obeyed, though intent on the transfigured face. He believed that a new spirit dwelt there, expelling the crudities of youth. He saw steadier eyes, and the sign of manhood set like a bar of gold upon steadier lips. Some faces are knit by beauty, or by intellect, or by a great passion: had Stephen’s waited for the touch of the years?

Is this gay? The scene is set at dusk in a country stream and the mood is of tremendous acceptance and affection between the brothers. It’s a lyrical scene and all the better for not being saddled with one of Forster’s heavy classical references, just being itself.

But is the obscurity of phrasing because Forster feels in his heart a gay or queer connection between them? He’s feeling the love that dare not speak its name and so is censoring himself and so it comes out in this cryptic mode?

Dinner and the pub

Rickie goes on to have dinner with Aunt Emily. She advises him to go back to Agnes but he seems to have made his mind up to devote his life to literature. Some friends have encouraged him to write and also advise him to go to Italy (as Forster himself did). Anyway, he’s not going back to Agnes.

And in a far bigger ‘anyway’, he is now obsessed with Stephen. He replays the scene at dusk in the stream during dinner and, afterwards, asks Aunt Emily’s youngish manservant, Leighton, if he wants to accompany him to the village to find Stephen. When they get to the pub where Stephen’s staying, Rickie asks Leighton to go in, to ask if Stephen wants to come for a walk (Rickie is scared of going into a pub. That’s what a ‘milksop’ he is). Meanwhile Rickie’s feelings about Stephen are blossoming.

Stephen was a hero. He was a law to himself, and rightly. He was great enough to despise our small moralities. He was attaining love. This evening Rickie caught Ansell’s enthusiasm, and felt it worth while to sacrifice everything for such a man. (p.278)

But Leighton discovers that Stephen’s been drinking, in fact he’s so drunk he can’t stand. Rickie is outraged that Stephen has broken his promise but then directs his disillusionment against himself. He was foolish to trust him, to believe in people i.e. a typically immature over-reaction.

The brutal shock ending

It’s worth portraying Rickie’s state of mind just before he dies.

He leant against the parapet and prayed passionately, for he knew that the conventions would claim him soon. God was beyond them, but ah, how far beyond, and to be reached after what degradation! At the end of this childish detour his wife awaited him, not less surely because she was only his wife in name. He was too weak. Books and friends were not enough. Little by little she would claim him and corrupt him and make him what he had been; and the woman he loved would die out, in drunkenness, in debauchery, and her strength would be dissipated by a man, her beauty defiled in a man. She would not continue. That mystic rose and the face it illumined meant nothing. The stream — he was above it now — meant nothing, though it burst from the pure turf and ran for ever to the sea. The bather, the shoulders of Orion-they all meant nothing, and were going nowhere. The whole affair was a ridiculous dream.

You feel there could be no arguing for a young man who was so immature and melodramatic. Leighton goes back to the pub to reason with Stephen only to be told Stephen left a while ago to follow them. Puzzled they arrive at the railway level crossing as a slow goods strain is approaching, to see Stephen drunkenly sprawled across the rails. Rickie runs forward and throw his drunken brother free of the rails, but is too slow himself. It’s worth quoting the entire scene in full, mostly because of the abrupt and brutal, throwaway treatment of the event, but also because it demonstrates Forster’s peculiar way with language and psychology. I’ve reread it numerous times and don’t really understand exactly how or why it happens.

He wandered a little along the Roman road. Again nothing mattered. At the level-crossing he leant on the gate to watch a slow goods train pass. In the glare of the engine he saw that his brother had come this way, perhaps through some sodden memory of the Rings, and now lay drunk over the rails. Wearily he did a man’s duty. There was time to raise him up and push him into safety. It is also a man’s duty to save his own life, and therefore he tried. The train went over his knees. He died up in Cadover, whispering, ‘You have been right,’ to Mrs Failing.

‘It is also a man’s duty to save his own life, and therefore he tried,’ what does that mean? What does he mean ‘tried’. If he was stone cold sober surely there was time to nip out of the train’s way. But why is it phrased like this, ‘It is also a man’s duty to save his own life’? Is the implication that he is so, so tired and disillusioned that, although consciously aware of this ‘duty’, he is only half-hearted? But the text says ‘he tried’? Maybe it’s me but I find Forster’s psychology, I mean the way he depicts the minds and feelings of all his characters, very often bewilderingly obtuse.

Coda

What’s surprising is that, after this ‘random’ brutal killing of his protagonist, Forster gives us a final chapter of six more pages. In this Stephen has established himself as a farmer, and is discussing the posthumous publication of Rickie’s stories in a volume to be titled Pan’s Pipes, with Mr Pembroke, who is now a clergyman. They are arguing, Stephen is supplying 10 of Rickie’s stories to the clergyman’s 4, and demands a similar percentage of the royalties. Disgruntled, the clergyman leaves in a pony and trap.

Stephen is now married and has a three-year-old daughter so this must be 4 years (?) later. Now, as dusk falls, he wraps his little girl up and insists, despite his wife calling, that they go and sleep out on the Downs, in the warm evening. After opening with the silly conversation of the over-educated Cambridge undergraduates, the novel closes with the man of the soil Stephen, refusing his wife’s womanly entreaties to stay home, and insisting on wrapping up his small daughter and taking her to commune with the earth. From spirit to body. From air to earth. This ending has a surprisingly D.H. Lawrence primitivism, despite that the face the Lawrence hadn’t yet published a word.


Rickie the intellectual midget

He was only used to Cambridge, and to a very small corner of that. He and his friends there believed in free speech. But they spoke freely about generalities. They were scientific and philosophic. They would have shrunk from the empirical freedom that results from a little beer.

Ludwig Wittgenstein arrived in Cambridge in autumn 1911 and came to loathe it for its intellectual provincialism, its idiocy and its smug air of self congratulation. This novel helps you understand why. I found the self-satisfied triteness about ‘morality’ and ‘the Good’ and ‘the True’ unbearable, stuff like:

The sense of purity is a puzzling and at times a fearful thing. It seems so noble, and it starts as one with morality. But it is a dangerous guide, and can lead us away not only from what is gracious, but also from what is good. (p.144)

You can argue that Rickie, his friends and girlfriend are meant to be immature, silly, callow, and that this is the novel’s deliberate aim. But this is the narrator speaking, this is the narrative voice, which interchanges quite easily with the characters. It’s only when Rickie arrives in Sawston that the narrator comes clean about his limitations:

Rickie’s intellect was not remarkable. He came to his worthier results rather by imagination and instinct than by logic. An argument confused him, and he could with difficulty follow it even on paper. (170)

But by then it was too late for me, I was irrevocably put off the book by its undergraduate callowness. W.H. Auden has a line in ‘To a writer on his birthday’, looking back on himself and Isherwood as two sniggering students, declaring that ‘all the secrets we discovered were extraordinary and false.’ All the great ‘intellectual’ and ‘moral’ findings in this novel strike me in the same way.

Purple patches

With a canvas twice the long as his first book, Forster lets himself go and I don’t like it.

The rain tilted a little from the south-west. For the most part it fell from a grey cloud silently, but now and then the tilt increased, and a kind of sigh passed over the country as the drops lashed the walls, trees, shepherds, and other motionless objects that stood in their slanting career. At times the cloud would descend and visibly embrace the earth, to which it had only sent messages; and the earth itself would bring forth clouds — clouds of a whiter breed — which formed in shallow valleys and followed the courses of the streams. It seemed the beginning of life. Again God said, ‘Shall we divide the waters from the land or not? Was not the firmament labour and glory sufficient?’ At all events it was the beginning of life pastoral, behind which imagination cannot travel.

I’m afraid I think this is rubbish, on every possible level, as either literal description or as insight into Rickie’s supposed state of mind; and the casual invocation of the kind of meek God that suits Forster made me barf. There’s a lot, lot more written in the same overblown style. Here’s Rickie in love:

She had been a goddess both in joy and sorrow. She was a goddess still. But he had dethroned the god whom once he had glorified equally. Slowly, slowly, the image of Gerald had faded. That was the first step. Rickie had thought, ‘No matter. He will be bright again. Just now all the radiance chances to be in her.’ And on her he had fixed his eyes. He thought of her awake. He entertained her willingly in dreams. He found her in poetry and music and in the sunset. She made him kind and strong. She made him clever. (p.71)

Masquerading as Significant Thought, there are repeated passages saying what frail insects we are on the huge indifferent earth etc etc, which just feel banal and obvious:

Ah, the frailty of joy! Ah, the myriads of longings that pass without fruition, and the turf grows over them! Better men, women as noble — they had died up here and their dust had been mingled, but only their dust. These are morbid thoughts, but who dare contradict them? There is much good luck in the world, but it is luck. We are none of us safe. We are children, playing or quarrelling on the line, and some of us have Rickie’s temperament, or his experiences, and admit it. So he mused, that anxious little speck, and all the land seemed to comment on his fears and on his love…

He had lost all sense of incident. In this great solitude — more solitary than any Alpine range — he and Agnes were floating alone and for ever, between the shapeless earth and the shapeless clouds. An immense silence seemed to move towards them. A lark stopped singing, and they were glad of it. They were approaching the Throne of God. The silence touched them; the earth and all danger dissolved.

It feels like Thomas Hardy without Hardy’s rich lugubriousness. Then again, is all this a sly game? Is it over-written and shallow like this to indicate Rickie’s immaturity and callowness?

Name-dropping

The characters move in a miasma of artistic and literary references. I don’t think a single one of these does anything to move the story forwards. As far as I can tell they are there solely to signal the educated class the characters come from and the book is aimed at and, more practically, to flatter the bourgeois reader by dispensing cultural references easy enough for us to recognise and feel smug about:

He thought of Renan, who declares that on the Acropolis at Athens beauty and wisdom do exist, really exist, as external powers.

Suddenly she stopped, not through any skill of his, but because she had remembered some words of Bacon: ‘The true atheist is he whose hands are cauterized by holy things.’ (p.97)

Having changed her dress and glanced at the poems of Milton, she went to them, with uplifted hands of apology and horror. (p.97)

And when Rickie and Stewart exchange letters criticising each other’s worldview:

Read poetry – not only Shelley. Understand Beatrice, and Clara Middleton, and Brunhilde in the first scene of Gotterdammerung. Understand Goethe when he says ‘the eternal feminine leads us on.’ (p.87)

Understand Xanthippe, and Mrs. Bennet, and Elsa in the question scene of Lohengrin. Understand Euripides when he says the eternal feminine leads us a pretty dance. (p.87)

Even Mrs Failing’s two horses are named Dido and Aeneas, ho ho.

Again he spoke of old Em’ly, and recited the poem, with Aristophanic variations.

In the scene between Mr Wonham and the soldier you can feel the way the narrator’s deployment of cultural references like this is not an amplification of lived experience but an old maid escape, a denial or rejection of life. Books are safer than life, an attitude Forster embodies and lightly satirises in the character of the intellectual eunuch, Ansell. But although his story mocks Ansell the text itself subscribes to Ansell’s bookish values.

There may be moments of insight and clever psychology in such a long baggy monster, but overall I didn’t enjoy this book.

Gay

What makes all the purple patches about heterosexual love so funny is that Forster was gay, homosexual, queer. In 1914 he wrote ‘Maurice’, a novel about a gay love affair which he kept secret and wasn’t published until after his death, in 1971. I’m afraid knowledge of his lifelong homosexuality completely undermined my belief in the scores of passages where Rickie waxes lyrical about his beloved Agnes being a goddess, a spirit, a divine being etc.

Obviously the main intention of these passages is to flag Rickie’s hopeless immaturity but it’s hard to avoid the suspicion that Forster was also overdoing it, overcompensating, replacing the subtleties and edginess of real love (gay or straight) with great dollops of Victorian romanticism, and doing it for security reasons. In order to be safe and avoid the slightest accusation of homosexuality. He was writing just ten years after the Oscar Wilde case. Everyone was scared. Lilia’s infatuation with Gino and Philip’s obsession with Miss Abbott in his previous novel, ‘Where Angels Fear To Tread’ both felt more convincing (relatively speaking).

The passages at the very end, from the train journey Rickie and Stephen share and especially the lovely description of lighting the paper lanterns on the stream, and the lyrical mood it puts Rickie in, is this all queer love, Rickie’s gay love for lovely rough and manly Stephen? And is this why Rickie has to die? Partly because, as a character, he’s pretty much played out? But mostly because the love that dare not speak its name needs to be censored out of existence?


Credit

The Longest Journey by E.M. Forster was first published in 1907 by Blackwood. References are to the 1982 Penguin paperback edition.

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Typhoon by Joseph Conrad (1902)

Cast

As in all Conrad’s narratives, the story focuses on one central protagonist so vividly that it’s easy to overlook the way it describes many others, obviously the rest of the crew on the ship which experiences the typhoon, but a host of others, the crew’s family members back in Blighty. A full cast list includes:

Captain Thomas MacWhirr, son of a petty grocer in Belfast who ran away to sea at 15 and is now captain of the Nan-Shan.

His Dad, a corpulent man, with a gift for sly chaffing, which to the end of his life he exercised in his intercourse with his son, a little pityingly, as if upon a half-witted person.

His Mother, ‘wept very much after his disappearance’ (p.4).

MacWhirr’s wife, Lucy, ‘the daughter of a superior couple who had seen better days’, now Mrs MacWhirr, ‘a pretentious person with a scraggy neck and a disdainful manner’, and in her neighbourhood considered ‘quite superior’. (p.11)

Their daughter, Lydia, a ‘lanky girl, upon the whole… rather ashamed of him’. (p.11)

Their son, Tom, ‘frankly and utterly indifferent in a straightforward, delightful, unaffected way manly boys have’. (p.11)

Young Jukes, chief mate on the Nan-Shan i.e. MacWhirr’s number two, a lively loquacious young man who frets against his captain’s lack of imagination and blunt speech.

Jukes’ friend who he writes his letters to and who is the second officer on a trans-Atlantic liner (p.13).

Mr Solomon Rout, the chief engineer, also known as Long Sol, Old Sol, or Father Rout, to be found smoking his morning cigar over the skylight. As the tallest man on every ship he joins, he is used to stooping to hear the tales of other seamen.

Mrs Rout, ‘a big, high-bosomed, jolly woman of forty’. (p.12)

Mr Rout‘s toothless and venerable mother, quite deaf, who Mrs Rout has to shout at to communicate with. (p.12)

The new curate near Mrs Rout’s home who she confuses when she talks about ‘Solomon’ saying this or that, because he momentarily thinks she’s referring to the Biblical Solomon and doesn’t realise she’s talking about her husband (p.12).

The ship’s steward who secretly reads MacWhirr’s letters home (p.11).

The cook who the steward gossips to about MacWhirr’s letters (p.68).

The elder and younger of the shipbuilders in Dumbarton where the Nan-Shan was built, and who are described discussing the appointment of MacWhirr as captain.

Bates, foreman of the joiners on the shipyard who is told off when MacWhirr identifies faulty locks on the new ship’s doors.

Old Mr Sigg and young Mr Sigg, owners of the firm in Siam which commissioned the Dumbarton shipbuilders to build the Nan-Shan.

The Bu Hin company’s Chinese clerk who attends the voyage to supervise to the 200 coolies who are being shipped back to China.

Harry, the second engineer, who gets cross at Jukes for not moving the stokehold ventilators to maximise the air flow into the stiflingly hot engine room.

Jack Allen, the second officer who fell overboard into an empty coal lighter, broke some bones and was invalided home (p.20/21), leading to the hurried recruitment of…

The second mate, ‘an oldish, shabby little fellow, with bad teeth and no hair on his face’.

The boatswain or boss’n, ‘an ill-favoured, undersized, gruff sailor of fifty, coarsely hairy, short-legged, long-armed, resembling an elderly ape’ (p.36), who has a wife, ‘a fat woman, and two grown-up daughters [who] kept a greengrocer’s shop in the East-end of London (p.45).

Beale, the third engineer, who never says a word.

Hackett, the heroic helmsman who keeps the ship’s direction through the mayhem of the typhoon (p.47).

The donkeyman, ‘a dapper little chap with a dazzling fair skin and a tiny, gingery moustache, worked in a sort of mute transport’ (p.51).

The coolie who threw his head up like a baying hound in the hold.

The bummer, a tall individual with thin legs, a round belly, wearing ‘a soiled suit of blue flannel with a pair of dirty cricketing shoes; a dingy gray moustache drooped from his lip, and daylight could be seen in two places between the rim and the crown of his hat’, who greets the second mate on the quay at Fu-Chau after MacWhirr has sacked him (p.66).

Twenty-nine identifiable characters in total, not counting the unnamed coolies.

Imagination, the enemy

As in Conrad’s other fictions, having a vivid imagination is regarded as a bad thing and the point of the character of MacWhirr and, to some extent, of the entire story, is as a portrait of a man totally bereft of any spark of imagination whatsoever:

Having just enough imagination to carry him through each successive day, and no more, he [Captain MacWhirr] was tranquilly sure of himself; and from the very same cause he was not in the least conceited. It is your imaginative superior who is touchy, overbearing, and difficult to please; but every ship Captain MacWhirr commanded was the floating abode of harmony and peace.

Old Solomon describes Captain MacWhirr’s honesty as having ‘the heavy obviousness of a lump of clay’ and the captain’s literal-mindedness is reinforced with scores of instances, for example the way he doesn’t get jokes or Jukes’s flights of fantasy. He even dislikes the use of metaphor or simile in speech and tells Jukes off for using them: as when Jukes says the oppressive heavy weather makes him feel as if he had his head tied up in a woollen blanket and MacWhirr asks him when he’s ever had his head tied up in a blanket and why? Or when Jukes jocularly refers to the 200 Chinese coolies as the ‘passengers’ and MacWhirr irritably exclaims:

The Chinamen! Why don’t you speak plainly? Couldn’t tell what you meant. (p.23)

This is a man who speaks with ‘the utmost simplicity of manner and tone’ (p.24). I’ve just come from reading Conrad’s long novel ‘Lord Jim’ which is, arguably, the portrait of a good man undone by his over-active imagination. It’s almost as if Conrad made MacWhirr a conscious study of the extreme opposite.

Would we now think of MacWhirr as having ADHD, the condition which is being diagnosed in ever-growing numbers of people nowadays?

Because at one point this is how Jukes describes him:

He told me once quite simply that he found it very difficult to make out what made people always act so queerly. (p.14)

‘To be silent was natural to him, dark or shine’ (p.29). Maybe some aspects of his character are ‘on the spectrum’, as we say nowadays.

Anyway, within the narrative MacWhirr’s stolid literal-mindedness is deliberately contrasted with his young chief mate, Jukes, a man of quick wit, ‘liveliness of fancy’, fondness for colourful comparisons and inventive figures of speech – all of which MacWhirr deprecates and criticises, much to Jukes’s muttered resentment. Yin and tang. Chalk and cheese. A stark contrast for the purposes of making the narrative more schematic.

So, for example, when the typhoon hits, MacWhirr keeps soldiering stolidly on, making sensible decisions, while Jukes is overcome with panic-fear and wastes all his energy, not managing the situation and its challenges but managing his feverish imagination.

Being very young, he had found the occupation of keeping his heart completely steeled against the worst so engrossing that he had come to feel an overpowering dislike towards any other form of activity whatever. (p.37)

Incommunication

In my reading of Conrad’s other early stories I’ve developed the notion of incommunication to refer to the way so many characters in Conrad can barely communicate with each other.

Mumbling

The number of times the characters murmur, mutter under their breath, look down at their boots, look at the horizon and generally do everything except say what they mean directly to the person they’re talking to.

The second mate made in his throat a noise of an unfriendly nature… (p.20)

Their [the crew’s] grumbling and sighing and muttering worried him [the boatswain] greatly… (p.39)

With his sharp nose, red at the tip, and his thin pinched lips, he always looked as though he were raging inwardly; and he was concise in his speech to the point of rudeness. (p.21)

MacWhirr’s few words

This is notably true of Captain MacWhirr, ‘a man of few words’, (‘He never talks’ complains Jukes), ‘the silent man’, who says nothing unnecessary.

With a temperament neither loquacious nor taciturn he found very little occasion to talk.

Or mutters or mumbles:

This unusual form of address, though mumbled rather than spoken…

But it’s true of other crew members, too, who are endlessly muttering or mumbling under their breath:

‘None of you here shall make a fool of me if I know it,’ he mumbled to himself.

Carried over into letters

Conrad cleverly and rather beautifully takes the time to show how the characters’ ability or inability to express themselves is carried over into the letters they write home to their loved ones, which reflect their characters. Thus the letters MacWhirr writes home to his wife once a month are masterpieces of incommunication, sticking entirely to the banal facts, lacking any colour or expression:

as if the words so long used by so many men were, apart from their shape, worn-out things, and of a faded meaning.

Whereas the letters Old Solomon writes to his wife are full of gossip and comments which his wife reads out loud to his deaf mother.

Mother and curate, deaf and confused

And the episode of the curate, at first sight so arbitrary and random, is in fact a further demonstration of the incommunication theme. What episode? Well, Mrs Rout receives monthly letters from her husband and she enjoys reading them out to Old Solomon’s mother. But because the old lady is deaf, Mrs R has to shout them out loud at the top of her voice – and this is yet another form of incommunication.

The incident of the curate is that, on his first visit to Mrs Rout he is genuinely confused at the talkative woman repeating ‘Solomon says this’ and ‘Solomon says that’, so the curate is worried that she had access to a version of the Bible he didn’t know. It is an instance of comic misinterpretation and confusion, until finally she clarifies that she’s referring to Solomon her husband.

So just this one fairly short digression includes two elements which demonstrate the central theme of incommunication, deafness and misunderstanding.

Foreign

Another form of incommunication is that between people of different languages, such as when Jukes speaks bad pidgen English to the Chinese.

‘No catchee rain down there – savee?’ pointed out Jukes. ‘Suppose all’ee same fine weather, one piecie coolie-man come topside.’

Or when one of the coolies, badly knocked about in their below-decks hold, starts to talk, in a language none of the white characters can begin to understand and so find outlandish and alien.

Suddenly one of the coolies began to speak. The light came and went on his lean, straining face; he threw his head up like a baying hound. From the bunker came the sounds of knocking and the tinkle of some dollars rolling loose; he stretched out his arm, his mouth yawned black, and the incomprehensible guttural hooting sounds, that did not seem to belong to a human language, penetrated Jukes with a strange emotion as if a brute had tried to be eloquent. (p.58)

Maybe Conrad missed a trick by not having any members of the crew be foreign i.e. from another European country, as they are in Lord Jim and other tales (Captain Gustav in Jim; Falk is himself Scandinavian, the German hotel-keeper Schomberg, etc). But maybe he thought that he had a sufficient range of types of incommunication – just among English speakers.

The language of facts

All this inept and clumsy communication stands in start contrast to the world of facts, which, unlike human utterances with all their metaphor and ambiguity, speak to people like MacWhirr in a clear and precise language.

There were matters of duty, of course – directions, orders, and so on; but the past being to his mind done with, and the future not there yet, the more general actualities of the day required no comment – because facts can speak for themselves with overwhelming precision.

The China seas north and south are narrow seas. They are seas full of every-day, eloquent facts, such as islands, sand-banks, reefs, swift and changeable currents – tangled facts that nevertheless speak to a seaman in clear and definite language.

This interpretation is, of course, inflected by the presence of MacWhirr in the sense that Conrad makes us see the world of facts through MacWhirr’s mind, ‘faithful to facts, which alone his consciousness reflected’. If it had been Marlow narrating all this is would have been riven with ambiguities and puzzlement. The entire tone and, in a sense, the worldview of ‘Typhoon’ is set by the bluff stolidity of its central figure so it is his natural world of readily ascertainable facts, which the narrator refers to…

Language shredded by the typhoon

Having been sensitised by all this to the way men communicate (or not) you notice that the arrival of the storm compounds the already-existing communication problems.

The voices of the lost group reached him after the manner of men’s voices in a gale, in shreds and fragments of forlorn shouting snatched past the ear.

And this is then dramatised, as the wind and rain become tumultuous, by Juke’s fragmented attempts to speak to MacWhirr:

All at once Jukes appeared at his side, yelling, with his head down.
‘Watch—put in—wheelhouse shutters—glass—afraid—blow in.’
Jukes heard his commander upbraiding.
‘This—come—anything—warning—call me.’
He tried to explain, with the uproar pressing on his lips.
‘Light air—remained—bridge—sudden—north-east—could turn—thought—you—sure—hear.’

We pride ourselves on being the animal with language, the animal which speaks, but in practice – the story suggests – it is a gift we misuse and abuse as we struggle to convey even the simplest things to each other.

The speaking-tube

Another variation on the theme of speaking and communication is the speaking-tube which connects the bridge with the engine room. In the middle of the storm this acquires a genuine real-world importance as engineer Rout tries to speak to the captain on the bridge but this, also, is a very flawed medium because – at several vital moments – either Rout or the captain are distracted and end up shouting down the tube with no reply, fearing the worst.

In this way the speaking-tube becomes yet another symbol of the vital importance of human speech, of communication, and yet its terrible fragility.

The violent sea

MacWhirr’s lack of imagination and calm unruffled, largely silent mode of life is not only contrasted with Young Jukes (on the human level) but, on a more cosmic level, with the life of the sea itself and this is what the story is about: the man of few words and no imagination for the first time in his life confronting ‘the wrath and fury of the passionate sea’ (p.14).

The typhoon as intensification of normal levels of incommunication

I suppose the typhoon can be seen either as the opposite of the everyday, a grand assault on norms of people’s communications so that they have to put their mouths next to the auditor’s ear and yell their heads off to be heard.

Or, it could be seen as more of an intensification of the normal world. The typhoon represents, on some level, the reality we live in, the storm of confusion and miscommunication which dogs all our lives, with the mask of the everyday stripped away.

Plot summary

So, having established the quite sizeable cast and the central themes of the text, it’s relatively easy to summarise the ‘plot’.

If the story is based on the time Conrad spent working as the chief mate on the Highland Forest under a Captain John McWhir (as most biographers think), then the voyage is set in 1887.

Captain MacWhirr sets off in the Nan-Shan, a British-built steamer flying the Siamese flag, to sail north to the Chinese treaty port of Fu-chau, with some cargo in her lower holds and two hundred Chinese coolies returning to their village homes in the province of Fo-kien, on the fore-deck. They run into a typhoon, the name given to a tropical cyclone in the northwestern part of the Pacific Ocean.

Although MacWhirr’s bluff, unimaginativeness has up till then been criticised by other members of the crew – notably lively young Jukes and the chief engineer Solomon Rout – his refusal to give in to the typhoon or change course, somehow masters the storm and sees the ship safely through it, resulting in the grudging admiration of the senior crew members.

And MacWhirr’s mastery comes to be symbolised by the sound of his steady emotionless voice. Thus when the storm hits the ship, MacWhirr and Jukes are both on the bridge and these temperamental opposites find themselves clinging to each other for dear life. And while the (over) imaginative Jukes repeatedly thinks the ship is doomed, is breaking up, they’re all going to die and so on, while he is cowering in terror, it is the quiet solidity of MacWhirr’s voice which saves him.

Again he heard that voice, forced and ringing feebly, but with a penetrating effect of quietness in the enormous discord of noises, as if sent out from some remote spot of peace beyond the black wastes of the gale; again he heard a man’s voice – the frail and indomitable sound that can be made to carry an infinity of thought, resolution and purpose… (p.33)

And Jukes heard the voice of his commander hardly any louder than before, but nearer, as though, starting to march athwart the prodigious rush of the hurricane, it had approached him, bearing that strange effect of quietness like the serene glow of a halo. (p.34)

He heard with amazement the frail and resisting voice in his ear, the dwarf sound, unconquered in the giant tumult. (p.35)

And presently the voice returned again, half submerged in the vast crashes, like a ship battling against the waves of an ocean… small, lonely and unmoved, a stranger to the visions of hope or fear… (p.35)

Presently a small voice shoved aside the shouting hurricane quietly. ‘You, Jukes? – Well?’ (p.52)

After the initial descriptions of the devastating impact of the typhoon on the ship, the main action or event is that the bosun arrives on the seaswept bridge to tell MacWhirr there’s trouble in the ‘tween-deck where the Chinese are sheltering. So MacWhirr orders Jukes to go below decks to check things out and the narrative follows (a reluctant) Jukes on his journey down into the swaying, black, dangerous bowels of the ship where he discovers the Chinese being thrown all over the place, that some of their luggage has burst open and leaked silver dollars everywhere which they’re now fighting over. So Jukes gets some of the crew to storm the hold and calm the Chinese down (not without cuffs and blows) before establishing lifelines running across it for them to hold onto and then gathering up the silver in order to prevent fights.

During his belowdecks odyssey Jukes also arrives in the engine room, thus giving Conrad the opportunity to describe the heroic leadership of Mr Rout and the work of the stokers, stripped to the waist to keep shovelling coal into the furnaces to keep the engines running. Jukes’ odyssey allows Conrad to give a kind of schematic diagram of the working of the crew in extremis.

The storm descriptions

All the things I’ve listed are perhaps less obvious to the average reader than what most people remember, which is its super-vivid descriptions of the ship, sea and sky in the buildup to, and then the experience of, the thundering typhoon. There are 1) straightforward descriptions:

The darkness palpitated down upon all this, and then the real thing came at last.
It was something formidable and swift, like the sudden smashing of a vial of wrath. It seemed to explode all round the ship with an overpowering concussion and a rush of great waters, as if an immense dam had been blown up to windward. In an instant the men lost touch of each other. This is the disintegrating power of a great wind: it isolates one from one’s kind. An earthquake, a landslip, an avalanche, overtake a man incidentally, as it were – without passion. A furious gale attacks him like a personal enemy, tries to grasp his limbs, fastens upon his mind, seeks to rout his very spirit out of him.
Jukes was driven away from his commander. He fancied himself whirled a great distance through the air. Everything disappeared – even, for a moment, his power of thinking… (p.30)

And:

The gale howled and scuffled about gigantically in the darkness, as though the entire world were one black gully. At certain moments the air streamed against the ship as if sucked through a tunnel with a concentrated solid force of impact that seemed to lift her clean out of the water and keep her up for an instant with only a quiver running through her from end to end.

And:

The Nan-Shan was being looted by the storm with a senseless, destructive fury: trysails torn out of the extra gaskets, double-lashed awnings blown away, bridge swept clean, weather-cloths burst, rails twisted, light-screens smashed – and two of the boats had gone already. They had gone unheard and unseen, melting, as it were, in the shock and smother of the wave. (p.32)

Science fiction

And then 2) there are millenarian visions, when Conrad invokes the powers of the entire universe or sees things on a cosmic scale, when he reaches a kind of science fiction intensity:

At its setting the sun had a diminished diameter and an expiring brown, rayless glow, as if millions of centuries elapsing since the morning had brought it near its end. (p.19)

And:

An outburst of unchained fury, a vicious rush of the wind absolutely steadied the ship; she rocked only, quick and light like a child’s cradle, for a terrific moment of suspense, while the whole atmosphere, as it seemed, streamed furiously past her, roaring away from the tenebrous earth. (p.43)

Is there a touch of H.G. Wells in these descriptions, the sense of all normal human values and experiences far exceeded by the extremity of the storm? This next passage reminded me of ‘The Island of Doctor Moreau’:

And then a hand gripped his thigh… and he felt himself pawed all over. It was the boatswain. Jukes recognized these hands, so thick and enormous that they seemed to belong to some new species of man. (p.36)

Did Wells’s inhuman horrors strike a chord in Conrad’s imagination? At other times the cosmic viewpoint adopts a semi-religious tone:

The Nan-Shan… had about her the worn, weary air of ships coming from the far ends of the world – and indeed with truth, for in her short passage she had been very far; sighting, verily, even the coast of the Great Beyond, whence no ship ever returns to give up her crew to the dust of the earth. (p.66)

It’s only a ship caught in a storm but like the stories of his ship’s chandlers and sea captains and business agents in the jungle, Conrad makes it into an allegory of all humanity and the entire universe.

The great ellipsis and part 2

The twenty pages or so which describe the storm in such blistering intensity in fact only describe the first half of the storm. There is a lull or intermission when the ship breaks into the centre of the typhoon, things calm down and they can hear themselves speak, but there is, of course, then to follow the second part of the storm and this is where Conrad makes his Big Artistic Decision which is… not to depict it. Once, he decides, is enough, and so the ship is just heading into the second part of the typhoon and MacWhirr mutters to himself, ‘I wouldn’t like to lose her’ when this section of the text (which is divided into six parts) abruptly ends with one short, bald sentence.

He was spared that annoyance.

And the narrative cuts away to the sixth and final part, cutting to a few days later when the Nan-Shan finally steams into Fu-chau, severely damaged but still going. Its docking causes a stir but is dramatised by Conrad solely in terms of the ratty second mate, having been fired by MacWhirr, coming ashore and venting all his resentment on the first seedy water rat or ‘bummer’ he encounters, who invites him for a drink.

But most of this last six pages cuts right away from the ship and the Far East altogether, to describe the reactions of the recipients of letters from MacWhirr and Rout and Jukes, letters each describing the storm in different ways, which are received by the different wives (and chum) according to their character.

1) Hoity toity Mrs MacWhirr barely bothers to read it, skimming past the description of the storm and slighting on the only bit that interests her, her husband’s threat to come home soon and see her and the children. Oh why does he want to do that, she complains, not for the first time. And the letter which only briefly describes desperate men risking their lives at sea for pitiful pay ends with an account of Mrs MacWhirr taking her lanky daughter out shopping and greeting other wives in the street.

2) Then Conrad describes Mrs Rout reading out Old Solomon’s letter to his ancient mother and being peeved that Old Sol says the captain did a very clever thing during the typhoon but doesn’t specify what. She is irritated.

3) Then Conrad describes the reception of Juke’s letter by his chum aboard the Atlantic Ocean liner, who goes on to share it with his crew mates and Conrad summarises it for us. It takes four pages and is a quite elaborate coda. Basically Jukes was terrified that the way they sent the Chinese coolies belowdecks and then waded into break them up when they were fighting and then took away all the loose dollars they could find, would have made the Chinese riotous and angry. He worried a lot about what would happen when they finally docked and the mutinous Chinese might demand a public enquiry or a trial and so on, worrying that, as the man who made the decision, he’d be the one in the firing line.

Jukes had only barely gone to bed after 30 hours straight on deck when he’s woken up and told the captain is opening the hatch and letting the Chinese on deck. Terrified there’ll be a riot, Jukes leaps into his clothes and orders one of the crew to distribute rifles, joining eight or so armed crew on the bridge.

It is here that Captain MacWhirr ridicules this stupid over-reaction and tells Jukes to have the rifles locked away immediately before someone gets harmed. Instead he works with the Chinese interpreter from Bu Hin to explain to the coolies that they were locked below for their own safety (witness the damage they can all see on deck), that the lifelines were installed for their own safety, and that all the money the crew could find was confiscated to stop them fighting. Now MacWhirr proposes totalling up all the dollars they confiscated and dividing it up equally and fairly between the Chinese. To Jukes’ astonishment they all agree to this plan as they know that the alternatives are worse: 1) if asked, each of them would exaggerate the sum they’re owed, 2) if MacWhirr hands the hoard over to a Chinese official in the port, it will simply disappear.

To Jukes’ astonishment the Chinese are quite happy with this plan, and it must be the ‘clever decision’ that Rout mentioned in his letter to his wife but didn’t go into details about.

It is also, of course, demonstrates the gulf between over-imaginative Jukes (terrified there’s going to be a riot and so arming the crew in a way that might have led to accidental gunfire which might in fact have triggered a riot) and calm, phlegmatic and unimaginative MacWhirr, who with no mental effort, simply does the right thing.

The last page of this complex text entirely quotes Juke’s letter and the very last sentence of it is deeply ironic as we see Jukes completely misinterpret the character of MacWhirr and the high quality of his leadership decision, paranoidly thinking the captain only did it to avoid the fuss of a public enquiry whereas MacWhirr obviously just thought it was the fair thing to do:

‘This certainly is coming as near as can be to keeping the thing quiet for the benefit of all concerned. What’s your opinion, you pampered mail-boat swell? The old chief says that this was plainly the only thing that could be done. The skipper remarked to me the other day, “There are things you find nothing about in books.” I think that he got out of it very well for such a stupid man.’ (p.74)

But it is Jukes, of course, who is the stupid man.

UnEnglish phrasing

Sometimes Conrad’s bending of the English language, most of the time extremely enjoyable and rewarding, ends up snapping it. These occasions are enjoyable in their own way, for their incongruity:

Yet the uninteresting lives of men so entirely given to the actuality of the bare existence have their mysterious side.

Unbounded wonder was the intellectual meaning of his eye, while incredulity was seated in his whole countenance. (p.25)

29,750 words.


Credit

Typhoon by Joseph Conrad was first published in the Pall Mall Magazine in 1902. Page references are to the Oxford World’s Classics paperback edition, revised and republished in 2008.

Related links

Conrad reviews

Heartbreak House: A Fantasia in the Russian Manner on English Themes by George Bernard Shaw (1919)

NURSE GUINNESS: You’ll get used to it, miss: this house is full of surprises for them that don’t know our ways.

This is, until the last few pages, a very funny comic play, comparable to Pygmalion for its vivid characters and the frequency of its comic moments.

In the characteristically long (13,800 words) preface, Shaw informs us that he began the play in 1913, before a shot had been fired, but worked on and completed it in the first two years of the First World War. He didn’t let it be performed during the conflict out of tact and patriotism so it was first staged in 1919.

Shaw is so keen to emphasise that he began it before the war because he wants to give a prophetic force. He goes on to tell us that ‘Heartbreak House’ is not just a location in his play but is a symbol for the entire leisured lifestyle of the rich in the pre-war years, their heedlessness of the volcano they were dancing on, their selfishness and self-centredness.

The setting of a country house weekend is very appropriate. Maybe these kinds of civilised long weekends continue to this day, but country house parties where a diverse group of guests are brought together to interact are certainly a feature of Edwardian, Georgian and 1920s literature. Think of all those Agatha Christie novels where a bunch of suspects gather at the charming house of Lord or Lady something before one of them dies in mysterious circumstances, or the country house party novels of Aldous Huxley (although, admittedly, Captain Shotover’s house isn’t as grand as all that).

Act 1. Captain Shotover’s villa in Sussex, the poop: evening

We are in the living room at Heartbreak House, located in north Sussex, with (as so often in plays) French windows giving on to the garden where the author can conveniently dispose of characters when they aren’t needed or retrieve them from when they are.

It is however a very odd-looking room and sets the tone for a lot of the comedy to come, for it is built and decorated to resemble ‘the after part of an old-fashioned high-pooped ship, with a stern gallery. Thus the windows are ship-built with heavy timbering and run right across the room as continuously as the stability of the wall allows; a row of lockers under the windows provides an un-upholstered window seat interrupted by twin glass doors, and the stage directions from start to finish refer not to stage left or right but to port and starboard.

This visual oddity sets the tone for the room and the house belong to the 88-year-old eccentric (or plain senile) inventor Captain Shotover. A modern reader might wonder whether Shotover has dementia, certainly several of the characters describe him as ‘mad’, but really he’s a comic invention, a man, already eccentric, who has reached the age where he doesn’t mind what he says to anyone, with the result that he is continually blunt to the point of rudeness, and beyond.

NURSE GUINNESS: They say he sold himself to the devil in Zanzibar before he was a captain; and the older he grows the more I believe them.

Among his many inventions (which he makes good money from) are for the ship with the magnetic keel that sucked up submarines and a patent lifeboat, but he is currently engaged on a grand visionary notion of creating some kind of rather Wellsian-sounding Death Ray which will defeat The Enemy before he can lift a finger.

CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: But I go on with the dynamite none the less. I will discover a ray mightier than any X-ray: a mind ray that will explode the ammunition in the belt of my adversary before he can point his gun at me…

To this end he has a store of dynamite in the quarry. Rather like the introduction of a revolver in a Chekhov play, as soon as we learn this we wonder how long it’ll be before it explodes although this, like everything, is turned into suave comedy.

MRS HUSHABYE: There’s nothing to see in the garden except papa’s observatory, and a gravel pit with a cave where he keeps dynamite and things of that sort. However, it’s pleasanter out of doors; so come along.
RANDALL: Dynamite! Isn’t that rather risky?
MRS HUSHABYE: Well, we don’t sit in the gravel pit when there’s a thunderstorm.

Shotover is also given an obscure hobbyhorse, repeatedly banging on about striving to achieve ‘the seventh degree of concentration, whatever that may be.

One by one the cast appear, introduced to us and to each other in increasingly complex sequences and revealing a number of sometimes complex relationships. Here’s my attempt at a summary.

Cast

Captain Shotover – ‘an ancient but still hardy man with an immense white beard, in a reefer jacket with a whistle hanging from his neck’. Father to two daughters, Ariadne (now Lady Utterword) and Hesione (Mrs Hushabye). The second, married to Hector Hushabye, still lives with him. The first, (Lady Utterword) couldn’t wait to leave home, married Hasting Utterword 23 years ago, and was whisked off as his wife to umpteen colonies where he served as governor.

Shotover has a kind of cartoon version of senile dementia or at least is completely heedless of manners and conventions. He is entertainingly rude to everyone. As his daughter explains:

MRS HUSHABYE: You will find it far less trouble to let papa have his own way than try to explain.

As to his ‘eccentricity’ it’s genuinely funny the way he mistakes an invited guest to his house, Ellie, as his daughter, and then refuses to believe Lady Utterword – who he hasn’t seen for 25 years – is his other daughter.

Nurse Guinness – the house is looked after by Nurse Guinness, ‘an elderly womanservant’ who, in the best comic tradition, calmly ignored Shotover’s criticisms and indeed, everyone else’s, whilst quietly, efficiently getting on.

Ellie Dunn – ‘a pretty girl, slender, fair, and intelligent looking, nicely but not expensively dressed, evidently not a smart idler’, has been invited to stay by Mrs Hushabye aka Hesione. Three things about her: 1) her father is poor Mazzini Dunn, who set up a business which went bankrupt, was bought for a song by the pirate capitalist Mangan (who he went to school with), who re-employed him as manager. 2) This same Mangan (same age as her father) subsequently bumped into Ellie a couple of times and now assumes they are now engaged, despite not having asked Ellie, who is extremely reluctant. 3) Not least because she has fallen in love with a handsome charismatic man who’s had the most marvellous adventures, the improbably named Marcus Darnley.

Mazzini Dunn, poor bankrupt father of Ellie Dunn, has also been invited to stay. His Italian first name is a reference to Giuseppe Mazzini the spearhead of the movement for Italian Reunification (they were poets and visionaries).

‘Boss’ Alfred Mangan, ‘the bloated capitalist’ in Hector’s view who, it is strongly implied, stitched up his schoolfriend Mazzini Dunn. A very ordinary looking man he is driven by strong ambition and can be very assertive. He bumped into Ellie at the National Gallery, took her for a ride in his carriage and now assumes she is ‘his’.

Lady Utterword (Ariadne or ‘Addy’) – ‘a blonde, is very handsome, very well dressed, and so precipitate in speech and action that the first impression (erroneous) is one of comic silliness’. She has spent 23 years abroad with her posh husband, Sir Hastings Uttword, who has been governor of all the crown colonies in succession. Shotover several times refers to him as a ‘numskull’ and he never appears in the play. Instead:

Randall Utterword, younger brother of Hastings Utterword, Ariadne’s husband, turns up.

Hesione Hushabye (‘Miss Hessy’), married to dashing lover and fantasist Hector Hushabye. She was born when Shotover was 46 and since he is now 88, she must be

Hector Hushabye the seducer. It is a very funny moment when Ellie has just finished telling Hesione all about the marvellous man she’s met who tells the most amazing stories, and he walks through the door onto the stage and Hesione announces that he is her husband! Ellie is genuinely devastated (to some extent she’s the only character in the play with realistic feelings) but it turns out that Hector and Hesione have a very ‘modern’ marriage and she totally understand his addiction to falling in love with and flirting with numerous other women.

HECTOR: She has the diabolical family fascination. I began making love to her automatically. What am I to do?

This frank admission of his inability to stop philandering is still funny today but it’s just one of the

Act 1 ends with a dialogue between Hector and Shotover which is so disturbing it’s hard to know how seriously to take it. It begins with Hector asking why the Captain has a store of dynamite (to blow up The Enemy) and develops into the notion that it might be a good idea to blow up everyone.

HECTOR: I tell you I have often thought of this killing of human vermin. Many men have thought of it. Decent men are like Daniel in the lion’s den: their survival is a miracle; and they do not always survive. We live among the Mangans and Randalls and Billie Dunns as they, poor devils, live among the disease germs and the doctors and the lawyers and the parsons and the restaurant chefs and the tradesmen and the servants and all the rest of the parasites and blackmailers. What are our terrors to theirs? Give me the power to kill them; and I’ll spare them in sheer –
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER [cutting in sharply]: Fellow feeling?
HECTOR: No. I should kill myself if I believed that. I must believe that my spark, small as it is, is divine, and that the red light over their door is hell fire. I should spare them in simple magnanimous pity.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: You can’t spare them until you have the power to kill them. At present they have the power to kill you. There are millions of blacks over the water for them to train and let loose on us. They’re going to do it. They’re doing it already.
HECTOR: They are too stupid to use their power.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER [throwing down his brush and coming to the end of the sofa]: Do not deceive yourself: they do use it. We kill the better half of ourselves every day to propitiate them. The knowledge that these people are there to render all our aspirations barren prevents us having the aspirations. And when we are tempted to seek their destruction they bring forth demons to delude us, disguised as pretty daughters, and singers and poets and the like, for whose sake we spare them.
HECTOR [sitting up and leaning towards him]: May not Hesione be such a demon, brought forth by you lest I should slay you?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: That is possible. She has used you up, and left you nothing but dreams, as some women do.
HECTOR: Vampire women, demon women.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: Men think the world well lost for them, and lose it accordingly.

Is this fantastical comedy? Is sane Hector egging mad Shotover onto ever more outrageous pronouncements? Or are they both maniacs feeding each other’s paranoid fantasies? When Shotover talks about ‘millions of blacks’ about to be let loose on ‘us’, is this clinical paranoia? And the conceit at the end about pretty women being a kind of distraction created by The Enemy so we ‘spare them’, what?

In fact things are clarified just a few minutes later. Hesione enters, breaking the spell of this dialogue, and the Captain scuttles off into his pantry, to one side of the room – at which Hector comments to his wife that, ‘He is madder than usual.’ So it was an act. So Hector was just egging the old madman on to wilder fantasies.

In his day the standard criticism of Shaw was that his plays were wordy expositions of his views, arguments spouted by two-dimensional mouthpieces. But the little scene I’ve just quoted shows how wrong this is. There are many purely comic passages, but also passages like this of wild fantasia, which are beyond argumentation, which take you into strange visionary places (cf the scenes with Peter Keegan in ‘John Bull’s Other Island’, especially the long scene where he talks to a grasshopper!).

And the notion of an all-killing death ray is treated comically by all the members of his family, who take it as another one of Daddy’s madcap schemes. At the very end of Act 1 Hesione complains to Shotover and Hector that they’re broke and they both beg him to come up with a new invention.

MRS HUSHABYE: Yes, dear; but that was for the ship with the magnetic keel that sucked up submarines. Living at the rate we do, you cannot afford life-saving inventions. Can’t you think of something that will murder half Europe at one bang?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: No. I am ageing fast. My mind does not dwell on slaughter as it did when I was a boy.

I suppose passages like this are what Shaw meant by ‘prophetic’ of the huge slaughter about to commence across Europe, and/or satirise the wish of perfectly respectable middle-class types to devise ever-more destructive weapons of mass murder. But what makes ‘Heartbreak House’ so attractive is the way even quite bitter sentiments are embedded in lovely humour.

CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: Why doesn’t your husband invent something? He does nothing but tell lies to women.
HECTOR: Well, that is a form of invention, is it not?

Act 2. Same as Act 1: after dinner

Mangan deliberately tells Ellie that he cold-bloodedly ruined her father, sitting her down and carefully explaining how he gave her money the seed money for his business knowing he’d work his fingers to the bone to get it going, but lack the business nous to make a go of it, leading to bankruptcy, at which point Mangan could pick it up for a song and make a fortune.

He tells her all this to put her off him, but to his amazement Ellie says she’ll still have him. Further paradoxes follow in an amusing tumble. He tries to dismay her by saying he’s in love with someone else, but she just says, so is she! All this cut and thrust makes Mangan think ‘this is a crazy house’ till Ellie goes behind him and draws her hands from his forehead to his ears again and again and lulls him to sleep, turns out the light and tiptoes out.

Nurse Guinness comes into the darkened room, trips over Mangan’s legs, tries to wake him then screams that she’s killed him. Mrs Hushabye and Mazzini come running and, when they can’t wake him up, Mazzini quickly guesses that he’s been hypnotised by Ellie and describes how she did it to him once, at a family party.

Their conversation turns into a very inappropriate flirtation which Mazzini resists because he says he has only ever loved once (his wife). Also, Mazzini claims that Mangan is actually useless at business, doesn’t manage the men or the day to day. He’s only rich because he obsesses over every penny and does that because he is terrified of being poor.

Ellie is fetched and denies having hypnotised Mangan. The two women send Mazzini packing then have a set-to about the sleeping Captain of Industry. Hesione thinks she has to save Ellie from this dreadful marriage but Ellie surprises her by being utterly, cynically clear eyed about her motives in marrying Mangan: it is for his money and also because, being old, he can’t expect her to love him, which she doesn’t.

This verbal sparring on goes on for a while, with Ellie lamenting that Hector is spoken for and didn’t wait for her, and during which Hesione naughtily admits that her lovely head of hair is mostly fake. I think the fake hair stands for all sorts of other attitudes, fronts and statements which are fake.

They wake Mangan and it turns out he was conscious the whole time and heard everything they said about him, Mazzini saying he’s rubbish at business, Hesione and Ellie calling him a lump. He sets about accusing Ellie, again, but once again she trumps him, defeating everything he says with irony, paradox or strong will, making him feel hysterical, like he’s going mad:

MANGAN [desperately]: In this house a man’s mind might as well be a football. I’m going…

The others come in and mock Mangan, whose Christian name, they’ve discovered is Alfred, but in the middle there’s a shot from upstairs.

All the characters run upstairs, then return in dribs and drabs with the knackered old burglar they’ve caught. it was Mazzini who meant to scare him with Hector’s duelling pistol which went off at the slightest touch.

The burglar says it’s a fair cop but gives a speech embodying one of Shaw’s hobby horses, how barbaric it is to lock people in prison (discussed at length in the preface to Major Barbara). Hector, and then all the guests, suggest they let him go but the burglar insists he should serve his time, which prompts Mangan to remark that even the burglars don’t behave naturally in this house.

Mazzini suggests the burglar could turn himself into an honest locksmith and the burglar says, yes, he could set up shop for £20 and then, somehow, the situation turns all the way round so that the burglar who they only apprehended a little earlier, is now demanding that they have a whip round to cough up at least £20 for him.

Hector gives him a sovereign and tells him to be off but he bumps into Captain Shotover in the doorway who surprises everyone by declaring that this is the mate of his old ship, Billy Dunn. Dunn explains that he breaks into houses in order to get caught and then shames the liberal guests into giving him a whip round.

More amazement when the calmly competent housekeeper, Nurse Guinness, reveals that Billy is her husband! The captain orders that Billy be held in the kitchens.

Meanwhile, Alfred Mangan is put out because everyone is ignoring him so Mrs Hushabye invites him for a walk on the moonlit terrace and for some reason this makes him burst into tears. Ellie explains that his heart is breaking but this makes Lady Utterword furious and she berates Ellie then exits onto the terrace. Ellie is bewildered until Captain Shotover explains that all her life Lady Utterword (his daughter Ariadne) has wanted someone to break her heart but now she’s so old she wonders whether she has a heart to break. Humorously all the other characters go running out to comfort her leaving Mazzini, Ellie and the Captain. Mazzini kisses his daughter goodnight and goes out.

Long scene with Ellie and the Captain who is the only person she feels she can talk to. She finds out more about his life, that the happiest experience of his life was being on the bridge of his ship during a 168-hour-long typhoon, that he spread the story that he’d sold his soul to the Devil in order to cow men so degraded that otherwise he could only manage them with kicks and cuffs. She explains why she’s marrying Mangan i.e. for his money and because being rich is better than being poor and the Captain delivers a surprisingly coherent sermon about gaining his money but losing her soul.

But he also delivers some haunting speeches about what it’s like to be very old (in 1920 the life expectancy for men was 56, Shotover is more than 30 years older than that) like in this admission about why he keeps running off stage into the pantry. It’s to take a shot of rum but not because he’s an alcoholic:

CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: No, I dread being drunk more than anything in the world. To be drunk means to have dreams; to go soft; to be easily pleased and deceived; to fall into the clutches of women. Drink does that for you when you are young. But when you are old: very, very old, like me, the dreams come by themselves. You don’t know how terrible that is: you are young: you sleep at night only, and sleep soundly. But later on you will sleep in the afternoon. Later still you will sleep even in the morning; and you will awake tired, tired of life. You will never be free from dozing and dreams; the dreams will steal upon your work every ten minutes unless you can awaken yourself with rum. I drink now to keep sober; but the dreams are conquering: rum is not what it was: I have had ten glasses since you came; and it might be so much water.

Or:

CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: I am too weary to resist, or too weak. I am in my second childhood. I do not see you as you really are. I can’t remember what I really am. I feel nothing but the accursed happiness I have dreaded all my life long: the happiness that comes as life goes, the happiness of yielding and dreaming instead of resisting and doing, the sweetness of the fruit that is going rotten.

See what I mean by the strange visionary quality of some of these scenes and speeches? Startlingly, having listened to him, Ellie confirms that all she wants is to marry a rich old man and asks whether he is rich. Maybe she should marry him! When the Captain says what’s wrong with her to say something like that she admits her heart was broken; she was genuinely in love with ‘Marcus Darnley’ and was heartbroken to learn he is really Hector Hushabye and married to Hesione.

Hector and Randall come in which is Ellie’s prompt to take the Captain by the hand out into the garden and leave the two men. The crux of their scene is they both fancy Lady Utterword, Randall as her husband’s brother, Hector as her sister (Hesione)’s husband. Randall explains that Lady Utterword enjoys flirting with men everywhere, makes endless scenes, her husband (his brother) doesn’t notice because he works 16 hours a day. He is upset because Hector has flirted with her more in ten minutes than he has in ten years.

Hector calls Lady Utterword in, explains the situation and Lady U upbraids Randall for being so tiresome and jealous, as if they were married and proceeds to demolish his character, calling him selfish, lazy, whiney, as needy as a 3-year-old, and that his nickname is Randall the Rotter. This reduces Randall to tears and Lady U stands domineeringly over him and mocks him as a crybaby.

Hector is upset by her bullying and, grabbing her by the throat, throws her down into a chair. She rather enjoys this domination. She explains that she treats Randall like a child, bullies him into having a good cry and then he feels better afterwards. She stalks out and Randall, just as she predicted, after his good cry feels cleansed and sleepy. Feebly he says he’ll get his own back on her by going to bed without saying goodnight. Hector realises what a feeble specimen he is and is left raging against his subjugation by the Shotover sisters.

Act 3. In Captain Shotover’s garden: night

Late at night all the characters are outside under the stars, mooning and dreaming, or at least that’s what you’d hope. In actual fact, there are inklings and prophecies of doom. Inkling:

MRS HUSHABYE [coming to the back of the garden seat, into the light, with Mangan]: He keeps telling me he has a presentiment that he is going to die. I never met a man so greedy for sympathy.
MANGAN [plaintively]: But I have a presentiment. I really have. And you wouldn’t listen.
MRS HUSHABYE: I was listening for something else. There was a sort of splendid drumming in the sky. Did none of you hear it? It came from a distance and then died away.
MANGAN: I tell you it was a train.
MRS HUSHABYE: And I tell you, Alf, there is no train at this hour.

Prophecy:

HECTOR. Heaven’s threatening growl of disgust at us useless futile creatures. [Fiercely]. I tell you, one of two things must happen. Either out of that darkness some new creation will come to supplant us as we have supplanted the animals, or the heavens will fall in thunder and destroy us.

Lady Utterword says the problem with Heartbreak House is there aren’t any horses.

LADY UTTERWORD: There are only two classes in good society in England: the equestrian classes and the neurotic classes. It isn’t mere convention: everybody can see that the people who hunt are the right people and the people who don’t are the wrong ones.

She delivers a diatribe against Randall’s immature self-centred character, imagining he is in bed asleep but is interrupted by the sound of the flute, an instrument he plays, from his bedroom.

The ladies turn their attention to Mr Mangan, asking him point blank whether he intends to marry Ellie and how much he is worth. After protesting at having his personal affairs discussed in public like this, Mangan makes the surprise admission that he has no money. Turns out he doesn’t own any of the factories and whatnot he’s associated with, he merely administers them for the real owners, the shareholders and syndicates.

When Mrs Hushabye jokes that, with his level of deception he ought to go into politics, Mangan jokes that he was invited to join the government, unelected, and be put in charge of a department. See how nothing changes. He didn’t achieve anything in his own department but managed to undermine his rivals in all the others, all the while keeping his eye on the title he’d been promised. Incompetence, corruption and complete lack of experience rose to high political positions 100 years ago as they do today. In our time he’d have been put in charge of screwing up the Brexit negotiations or procuring billions of pounds of unusable PPE equipment.

HECTOR. Is this England, or is it a madhouse?

Outraged, Lady Utterword says her husband could ‘save the country’ if only we got rid of this:

… ridiculous sham democracy and give Hastings the necessary powers, and a good supply of bamboo to bring the British native to his senses

I.e. set up a dictatorship. Mrs Hushabye mockingly trumps her by saying it doesn’t matter who claims to be running the country as long as ‘we’, i.e. women, are running the men. Ellie laments how everything has let her down and turned out to be fake:

  • Mangan is not the millionaire everyone thought
  • Hector never hunted tigers, as he told her
  • Lady Utterword’s beautiful hair is fake
  • even the Captain’s seventh degree of concentration turns out to be rum!

All these admissions drive Mangan wild and he suggests that, since they have stripped themselves morally naked they might as well take all their clothes off and he commences. The others stop him and when he goes to leave, talk him out of it. Alright, the exhausted man says, I’ll stay and propose to Ellie.

But Ellie surprises by saying she doesn’t want him any more. She was just testing her strength. Anyway, it would be an act of bigamy because half an hour earlier she married Captain Shotover!!!!

ELLIE: Yes: I, Ellie Dunn, give my broken heart and my strong sound soul to its natural captain, my spiritual husband and second father. [She draws the captain’s arm through hers, and pats his hand. The captain remains fast asleep.]

It is a spiritual wedding and she doesn’t even know what she means but it is a beautiful evening and she is happy. Her father, Mazzini appears, in pyjamas and a silk dressing gown, claiming he can’t sleep with such a fascinating conversation going on under his window and the others bring him up to speed, especially the news that her daughter is no longer going to marry Mangan who turns out not to be a millionaire. Mangan for his part complains about being perpetually ganged up on, which triggers the speech which explains the play’s title.

MANGAN: There you go again. Ever since I came into this silly house I have been made to look like a fool, though I’m as good a man in this house as in the city.
ELLIE [musically]: Yes: this silly house, this strangely happy house, this agonizing house, this house without foundations. I shall call it Heartbreak House.

And further lucubrations which we know from Shaw’s preface that he intended allegorically or symbolically.

HECTOR: Do you accept that name for your house?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: It is not my house: it is only my kennel.
HECTOR: We have been too long here. We do not live in this house: we haunt it.

By contrast Lady Utterword, who escaped the place as soon as she could, aged 19, has no illusions.

LADY UTTERWORD: Thank you, Hesione… The place may be Heartbreak House to you, Miss Dunn, and to this gentleman from the city who seems to have so little self-control; but to me it is only a very ill-regulated and rather untidy villa without any stables.

Which leads into a comic-nostalgic passage where they all mock themselves or each other:

HECTOR: Inhabited by—?
ELLIE: A crazy old sea captain and a young singer who adores him.
MRS HUSHABYE: A sluttish female, trying to stave off a double chin and an elderly spread, vainly wooing a born soldier of freedom.
MANGAN: A member of His Majesty’s Government that everybody sets down as a nincompoop: don’t forget him, Lady Utterword.
LADY UTTERWORD: And a very fascinating gentleman whose chief occupation is to be married to my sister.
HECTOR: All heartbroken imbeciles.

All of which is rejected by Mazzini (Ellie’s Dad), surely the nicest character:

MAZZINI: Oh no. Surely, if I may say so, rather a favourable specimen of what is best in our English culture. You are very charming people, most advanced, unprejudiced, frank, humane, unconventional, democratic, free-thinking, and everything that is delightful to thoughtful people.

Mangan starts crying that nobody realises he has a soul and likes poetry as well as money and Mrs Hushabye, who is inexplicably infatuated with him drags him off into the darkness. The atmosphere i.e. the dialogue, becomes more heavy with symbolism.

HECTOR [impatiently]: How is all this going to end?
MAZZINI: It won’t end, Mr Hushabye. Life doesn’t end: it goes on.
ELLIE: Oh, it can’t go on forever. I’m always expecting something. I don’t know what it is; but life must come to a point sometime.

Both Mazzini and Captain Shotover are given poetic speeches explaining how (Mazzini) all the politicking and meetings of his young adulthood ended up changing anything (Shotover) how, from the bridge of a ship the moon changes and the sea changes and the stars change but nothing really changes. Rather as in an Ibsen play, everyone repeats a key phrase, in this case ‘nothing happens’.

But the Captain develops his metaphor of the country, England, as a ship, a ship heading for the rocks, echoed by Hector wondering what we should do about ‘this ship that we are all in? This soul’s prison we call England?’

But while they’re talking about ships heading for rocks and captains asleep at the wheel there is a distant explosion and Nurse Guinness comes running in to say the rector’s house has been bombed. The house light had gone out, as the police ordered, but Hector perversely insists on going back in and turning it back on, bright as blazes.

Nurse Guinness says the police said to take shelter in the cellars but half the characters refuse to and at that moment the burglar, Bob Dunn, arrives to say the cellars are no good, where’s the quarry he’s heard about, he wants to take shelter in the cave.

Another explosion nearer this time. Captain Shotover says the next one will hit them and orders ‘Stand by, all hands, for judgment.’ Hector is insanely running round the house turning on all the lights and tearing down the curtains to make the place the maximum target for whoever’s doing the bombing.

Randall comes running in and pleads with Lady Underword to go to the cellars. What, with the staff, she replies and remains in her hammock. When hector strides in proud of his work but wishing the place was brighter Ellie insanely suggests setting the house on fire.

The droning overhead becomes louder and they all turn to look up into the skies. Hector tells Ellie to take cover but she refuses.

A terrific explosion shakes the earth. They reel back into their seats, or clutch the nearest support. They hear the falling of the shattered glass from the windows.

It was a direct hit on the gravel pit, itself full of dynamite, so there go Mangan and the burglar. Insanely Hector quips ‘One husband gone’ and then ‘Our turn next’. And they wait. And wait. But hear the droning of the planes diminishing and another explosion, but now in the distance. They are safe. It’s worth quoting the final lines in full to convey the full nihilistic madness of all the characters:

MRS HUSHABYE [relaxing her grip]: Oh! they have passed us.
LADY UTTERWORD: The danger is over, Randall. Go to bed.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: Turn in, all hands. The ship is safe. [He sits down and goes asleep].
ELLIE [disappointedly]: Safe!
HECTOR [disgustedly]: Yes, safe. And how damnably dull the world has become again suddenly! [he sits down].
MAZZINI [sitting down]: I was quite wrong, after all. It is we who have survived; and Mangan and the burglar –
HECTOR: – the two burglars –
LADY UTTERWORD: – the two practical men of business –
MAZZINI: – both gone. And the poor clergyman will have to get a new house.
MRS HUSHABYE: But what a glorious experience! I hope they’ll come again tomorrow night.
ELLIE [radiant at the prospect]: Oh, I hope so.

THE END.

Thoughts

I got the impression from the book’s blurb and skimmed summaries that at the end of the play the house was blown up with everyone inside, and this which would have been pleasing in an explosive and total way. However, Shaw’s actual ending is far more disturbing, leaving the audience with much the same feeling as the characters, who had all, secretly, been hoping for their silly lives, their pointless worries and their petty squabbles could just be wiped out and are left anticlimactic and disappointed…

The realisation that they’re not going to be blown up after all, and that they will have to resume the masks and roles they are so sick of, is far more harrowing. It’s a punch to the guts. For me, in this reading, it anticipated the grey nihilism of Samuel Beckett.

The mad house

The power of Captain Shotover’s house as a symbol is built up through multiple repetitions and redefinitions.

LADY UTTERWORD [sitting down with a flounce on the sofa]. I know what you must feel. Oh, this house, this house! I come back to it after twenty-three years; and it is just the same: the luggage lying on the steps, the servants spoilt and impossible, nobody at home to receive anybody, no regular meals, nobody ever hungry because they are always gnawing bread and butter or munching apples, and, what is worse, the same disorder in ideas, in talk, in feeling.

THE CAPTAIN [gloomily]. Youth! beauty! novelty! They are badly wanted in this house. I am excessively old. Hesione is only moderately young. Her children are not youthful.
LADY UTTERWORD. How can children be expected to be youthful in this house? Almost before we could speak we were filled with notions that might have been all very well for pagan philosophers of fifty, but were certainly quite unfit for respectable people of any age.

ELLIE [staring at her thoughtfully]. There’s something odd about this house, Hesione, and even about you. I don’t know why I’m talking to you so calmly. I have a horrible fear that my heart is broken, but that heartbreak is not like what I thought it must be.

MANGAN [feebly]. This is queer. I ought to walk out of this house.

THE GENTLEMAN. Thank you. One moment, Captain. [The captain halts and turns. The gentleman goes to him affably]. Do you happen to remember but probably you don’t, as it occurred many years ago— that your younger daughter married a numskull?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Yes. She said she’d marry anybody to get away from this house.

MANGAN: In this house a man’s mind might as well be a football. I’m going. [He makes for the hall, but is stopped by a hail from the Captain, who has just emerged from his pantry].
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Whither away, Boss Mangan?
MANGAN. To hell out of this house: let that be enough for you and all here.

MANGAN [exasperated]. The very burglars can’t behave naturally in this house.

HECTOR. It is a pose like any other. In this house we know all the poses: our game is to find out the man under the pose. The man under your pose is apparently Ellie’s favourite, Othello.
RANDALL. Some of your games in this house are damned annoying, let me tell you.
HECTOR. Yes: I have been their victim for many years. I used to writhe under them at first; but I became accustomed to them. At last I learned to play them.
RANDALL. If it’s all the same to you I had rather you didn’t play them on me. You evidently don’t quite understand my character, or my notions of good form.

HECTOR [rising]. Something in the air of the house has upset you. It often does have that effect.

Through these multiple iterations, the house acquires a series of characters or associations, a kind of multi-faceted significance for both the characters and audience. I’m not sure it entirely lives up to Shaw’s stated aim of making it symbolise all of pre-war Edwardian society, but you can see what he’s aiming at.

Husbands and wives

The play is packed with paradoxical lines about husbands and wives and marriage, which are reminiscent of Oscar Wilde’s plays, saturated in one-liners on the subject. But then, as I pointed out when reviewing Wilde’s plays, the war between men and women, and jokes about husbands and wives, go back through Restoration comedy, back through Shakespeare, through Chaucer, back to the Classical world.

The inability of men and women to get on is one of the oldest subjects in literature, from married Helen running away with Paris and Eve disobeying God and her husband right up to the latest Hollywood movie all about marital infidelity or the endless traumas of the dating game.

I take a Darwinian view. I see the centrality and extraordinary longevity of this subject through all of recorded literature as demonstrating how finding and choosing a mate, building a nest, reproducing and raising young ones, is the single most important function in the lives of humans (or any other form of life come to that, mammals, birds etc).

What’s distinctive and impressive about humans is how terrible they are at it, how unhappy they make themselves because of it, and how it has remained a subject for mockery, satire or anger for millennia. And so the same hackneyed subject is reiterated here, again and again:

MANGAN: Well, I thought you were rather particular about people’s characters.
ELLIE: If we women were particular about men’s characters, we should never get married at all, Mr Mangan.

ELLIE [turning on her]: Splendid! Yes, splendid looking, of course. But how can you love a liar?
MRS HUSHABYE: I don’t know. But you can, fortunately. Otherwise there wouldn’t be much love in the world.

MANGAN [almost beside himself]: Do you think I’ll be made a convenience of like this?
ELLIE: Come, Mr Mangan! you made a business convenience of my father. Well, a woman’s business is marriage. Why shouldn’t I make a domestic convenience of you?

ELLIE: It is just because I want to save my soul that I am marrying for money. All the women who are not fools do.

ELLIE: Why do women always want other women’s husbands?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER: Why do horse-thieves prefer a horse that is broken-in to one that is wild?

Or… these are conventions developed and streamlined in literature. These are literary tropes which have been with us since the dawn of writing because… why? Because it is a subject any writer can write humorously about and know his audience will get the joke, groan, cheer, laugh, whatever, but it requires little or no effort. Seen this way, maybe men-women and husband-wife gags are just easy.

Leonard Woolf

Inn her splendid biography of Leonard Woolf, Victoria Glendinning decribes Woolf being invited in June 1916 by Sidney and Beatrice Webb to go stay for a weekend at their house in Wyndham Croft in Sussex.

Leonard always found Shaw charming and friendly, ‘though if you happened to look into that slightly fishy, ice-blue eye of his, you got a shock’. He was never looking at you, or even speaking to you, personally. That blue eye ‘was looking through you or over you into a distant world or universe inhabited almost entirely by GBS, his thoughts and feelings, fancies and phantasies.’ That weekend contributed to the apocalyptic Shavian fantasies of his play Heartbreak House; Leonard remembered him writing it in the garden on a pad on his knee. (Leonard Woolf: A Life by Victorian Glendinning, 2007 edition, page 202)


Related links

Bernard Shaw reviews

The Doctor’s Dilemma by George Bernard Shaw (1906)

RIDGEON: We’re not a profession: we’re a conspiracy.
SIR PATRICK: All professions are conspiracies against the laity.

‘The Doctor’s Dilemma’ is a play by George Bernard Shaw, first staged in 1906 and published in 1909. It’s usually described as a ‘problem play’ but in fact it tackles two distinct dilemmas related to medical practice:

  1. the moral dilemmas created by limited medical resources i.e. who do you treat and who do you leave to be sick or die?
  2. the conflict between medicine as a vocation (to heal the sick) and a business (to make a packet)

Cast

  • Sir Colenso Ridgeon (‘Colly’) – just been knighted for his work in vaccination for tuberculosis and typhoid and plague, specifically for discovering the role of opsonin in maximising the effect of vaccination
  • Redpenny – his assistant
  • Emmy – his housekeeper

The doctors

  • Leo Schutzmacher – a Jewish physician recently retired from a modest practice in the Midlands
  • Sir Patrick Cullen (‘Paddy’) – 20 years older than Ridgeon, a bluff, gruff dismisser of all inventions and innovations
  • Mr Cutler Walpole – an energetic, confident surgeon, convinced every ailment is caused by blood-poisoning and can be cured by cutting out the ‘nuciform sac’ which all his colleagues think doesn’t even exist
  • Sir Ralph Bloomfield Bonington (B.B.) – thinks the cure for everything is to ‘stimulate the phagocytes’
  • Dr. Blenkinsop – a shabby unsuccessful doctor, cheaply fed and cheaply clothed

The Dubedats

  • Jennifer Dubedat – ‘an arrestingly good-looking young woman’, wife of…
  • Louis Dubedat – the artist, a slim young dazzlingly amoral man of 23
  • Minnie Tinwell – forlorn waitress at the Star and Garter who claims to be Louis’s real wife

Act 1. Dr Ridgeon’s consulting room

Act 1 is in three parts or scenes:

Scene 1

In the consulting room of Dr Colenso Ridgeon, his ancient housekeeper, Emmy, informs his keen young assistant, Redpenny, that Ridgeon has just been awarded a knighthood.

Scene 2

A succession of fellow doctors call by to congratulate their friend and provide a gallery of ages and types of physician, each with their perspective, views and hobby horses about the profession. They are, in order of appearance:

1. Leo Schutzmacher who they used to call ‘Loony’ Schutzmacher. Shaw singles out his Jewishness in a manner which I think is not malicious but makes us uncomfortable today.

His combination of soft manners and responsive kindliness, with a certain unseizable reserve and a familiar yet foreign chiselling of feature, reveal the Jew: in this instance the handsome gentlemanly Jew, gone a little pigeon-breasted and stale after thirty, as handsome young Jews often do, but still decidedly good-looking.

Shaw makes the same kind of ‘racial’ generalisations about Sir Patrick Cullen being Irish.

Schutmacher has recently retired after working a very modest practice in the Midlands for decades. For all that time his business success rested on a sign in the shop window reading ‘Cure Guaranteed’. That a giving more or less everyone the same patent medicine:

SCHUTZMACHER: You see, most people get well all right if they are careful and you give them a little sensible advice. And the medicine really did them good. Parrish’s Chemical Food: phosphates, you know. One tablespoonful to a twelve-ounce bottle of water: nothing better, no matter what the case is.

2. Sir Patrick Cullen is a big, bluff, no-nonsense man, twenty years older than Ridgeon, gruff common sense, communicates mostly in grunts. Insists there’s nothing new under the sun and that all these inventions were first made 50 years ago.

SIR PATRICK: Look at your great discovery! Look at all the great discoveries! Where are they leading to? Why, right back to my poor dear old father’s ideas and discoveries.

a) It’s during their conversation that we discover precisely what Ridgeon’s knighthood is for, the discovery of a way to boost the effects of vaccination, namely accompany it with an injection of the substance he’s discovered and named opsonin.

RIDGEON: Opsonin is what you butter the disease germs with to make your white blood corpuscles eat them… [But] the phagocytes wont eat the microbes unless the microbes are nicely buttered for them. Well, the patient manufactures the butter for himself all right; but my discovery is that the manufacture of that butter, which I call opsonin, goes on in the system by ups and downs – Nature being always rhythmical, you know – and that what the inoculation does is to stimulate the ups or downs, as the case may be… I call the up-grade the positive phase and the down-grade the negative phase. Everything depends on your inoculating at the right moment. Inoculate when the patient is in the negative phase and you kill: inoculate when the patient is in the positive phase and you cure.

Sir Patrick refuses to be impressed or think any of this is new. b) Their conversation is also notable because Ridgeon tells him he’s been feeling unwell:

RIDGEON. There’s nothing wrong with any of the organs: nothing special, anyhow. But I have a curious aching: I don’t know where: I can’t localize it. Sometimes I think it’s my heart: sometimes I suspect my spine. It doesn’t exactly hurt me; but it unsettles me completely. I feel that something is going to happen. And there are other symptoms. Scraps of tunes come into my head that seem to me very pretty, though they’re quite commonplace.

He doesn’t hear voices, so he’s not going mad and Sir Patrick, true to form, dismisses it as nothing. They are interrupted by the arrival of:

3. Mr Cutler Walpole, an energetic, unhesitating surgeon of forty with ‘a general air of the well-to-do sportsman about him’, never at a loss, never in doubt. Walpole’s idée fixe is that almost all medical cases are caused by blood-poisoning and the knife is the only effective remedy.

Sir Patrick makes a general comment about Walpole’s family

SIR PATRICK. I know your Cutler Walpoles and their like. They’ve found out that a man’s body’s full of bits and scraps of old organs he has no mortal use for. Thanks to chloroform, you can cut half a dozen of them out without leaving him any the worse, except for the illness and the guineas it costs him. I knew the Walpoles well fifteen years ago. The father used to snip off the ends of people’s uvulas for fifty guineas, and paint throats with caustic every day for a year at two guineas a time. His brother-in-law extirpated tonsils for two hundred guineas until he took up women’s cases at double the fees. Cutler himself worked hard at anatomy to find something fresh to operate on; and at last he got hold of something he calls the nuciform sac, which he’s made quite the fashion. People pay him five hundred guineas to cut it out. They might as well get their hair cut for all the difference it makes; but I suppose they feel important after it. You can’t go out to dinner now without your neighbour bragging to you of some useless operation or other.

4. Sir Ralph Bloomfield Bonington (B.B.) – a tall man, with a head like a tall and slender egg and a marvellously healing voice. His obsession is the belief that the cure for everything is stimulating the phagocytes. He deprecates chemists and pharmacists, believing all drugs are the same.

BB: Believe me, Paddy, the world would be healthier if every chemist’s shop in England were demolished. Look at the papers! full of scandalous advertisements of patent medicines! a huge commercial system of quackery and poison.

5. Dr. Blenkinsop – a poor doctor, unsuccessful, cheaply fed and cheaply clothed.

After all these doctors have aired their views and effectively trashed their own profession, they congratulate Ridgeon one more time and leave.

Scene 3

All this time the serving woman, Emmy, has been nagging Ridgeon that a woman is waiting for him in the waiting room, who is everso worried about her husband who has tuberculosis. Finally, after all the doctors have left, this woman, Mrs Dubedat, forces her way into the see the doctor.

She explains that her husband is ill with tuberculosis but is a great artist and must be saved. Ridgeon predictably poo-poos this until Mrs D shows him some pieces from her husband’s portfolio, at which point he is very impressed. But all this leads up to formulations of the Doctor’s Dilemma. His hospital TB ward is already full with ten patients. As it is, he’s had to turn 30 others away to select these ten. Now she’s asking him to turf one of these ten out to make way for her husband.

RIDGEON: The dilemma: In every single one of those ten cases I have had to consider, not only whether the man could be saved, but whether he was worth saving. There were fifty cases to choose from; and forty had to be condemned to death. Some of the forty had young wives and helpless children. If the hardness of their cases could have saved them they would have been saved ten times over.
MRS DUBEDAT: I am asking you to save the life of a great man.
RIDGEON: You are asking me to kill another man for his sake; for as surely as I undertake another case, I shall have to hand back one of the old ones to the ordinary treatment. Well, I don’t shrink from that. I have had to do it before; and I will do it again if you can convince me that his life is more important than the worst life I am now saving. But you must convince me first.

The husband’s drawings are outstanding and Ridgeon, a bachelor, is not immune to Mrs Dubedat’s striking beauty. And so all this resolves itself into Ridgeon’s suggestion that she brings her husband along to a dinner to celebrate his knighthood to which he’s invited all the doctors we’ve seen earlier in the act. She and her husband can discuss his case with all of them.

(Small note: we learn that the wife’s name is Jennifer, which Ridgeon takes to be an unusual name, one he’s never heard before. Mrs D explains it’s a Cornish version of Guinevere.)

Act 2. The terrace of the Star and Garter, Richmond

The dinner is over and the doctors are scattered about the table or standing on the terrace admiring the view. The husband (whose name is Louis) is off showing Blenkinsop how to use a telephone so Jennifer is able to canvas the other doctors’ opinions of him. They think he’s a fine chap and his drawings are outstanding. But the key point is Ridgeon agrees to bump one of his other patents out the ward and take on Louis, to Jennifer’s immense relief.

When Louis reappears they all praise him, though it is now late in the evening so they recommend he should go home before the damp air exacerbates his TB. Then there is comedy. One by one the doctors admit that Louis touched them for a loan, and they were all so sympathetic to the charming chap that they coughed up like lambs.

  • Walpole – £20
  • BB – £10
  • Blenkinsop – half a crown (2 shillings and sixpence)

Only Schutzmacher didn’t lend him anything, despite Louis going out of his way to flatter Jews and their knowledge of art i.e. buttering him up, before asking him for a £50 loan. For some reason this leads into another extended passage about Jews, this time Schutzmacher speaking, which made me uncomfortable:

SCHUTZMACHER: Personally, I like Englishmen better than Jews, and always associate with them. That’s only natural, because, as I am a Jew, there’s nothing interesting in a Jew to me, whereas there is always something interesting and foreign in an Englishman. But in money matters it’s quite different. You see, when an Englishman borrows, all he knows or cares is that he wants money and he’ll sign anything to get it, without in the least understanding it, or intending to carry out the agreement if it turns out badly for him. In fact, he thinks you a cad if you ask him to carry it out under such circumstances. Just like the Merchant of Venice, you know. But if a Jew makes an agreement, he means to keep it and expects you to keep it. If he wants money for a time, he borrows it and knows he must pay it at the end of the time. If he knows he can’t pay, he begs it as a gift.
RIDGEON: Come, Loony! do you mean to say that Jews are never rogues and thieves?
SCHUTZMACHER: Oh, not at all. But I was not talking of criminals. I was comparing honest Englishmen with honest Jews.

At which point this puzzling disquisition is cut off because one of the hotel’s maids approaches. Without much ado she drops the bombshell that she is Louis’s real wife. Her name is Minnie Tinwell and she tells them she and Louis got married, burned through the little money they had, Louis went off to London to try and further his career, and that’s the last she heard of him till she saw him this evening.

The doctors all hear this amazing revelation and are astounded but also interested and amused. It’s at this point that Walpole remembers he lent his gold cigarette case to Louis and the blighter never returned it. The common view starts to be that Louis is a bigamist and a thief.

Now the doctors make a great fuss of all saying good night to each other, but it’s during this that Blenkinsop, the poor failure among them, reveals that he is a bit touched with tuberculosis, in one lung. the others are all the picture of concern and Walpole says he’ll drive him home.

Leaving Ridgeon and old Sir Patrick. I thought the doctor’s dilemma was whether Ridgeon should take Louis and kick one of his current ten patients out of hospital. Now, with the news that Blenkinsop has TB as well, the dilemma has come much closer. It is: Louis the artistic crook or Blenkinsop the not very productive or effective good man.

SIR PATRICK. Well, Mr Saviour of Lives: which is it to be? that honest decent man Blenkinsop, or that rotten blackguard of an artist, eh?… It would be simpler still if Dubedat had some of Blenkinsop’s honesty. The world isn’t going to be made simple for you, my lad: you must take it as it is. You’ve to hold the scales between Blenkinsop and Dubedat.
RIDGEON: It’s not an easy case to judge, is it? Blenkinsop’s an honest decent man; but is he any use? Dubedat’s a rotten blackguard; but he’s a genuine source of pretty and pleasant and good things.

They discuss the relative merits of a good man against good pictures for a while, before Ridgeon says there’s an extra aspect which is that if he doesn’t treat Dubedat and he dies, Ridgeon intends to set his cap at winning the lovely Jennifer i.e. people might think he did it deliberately.

The obvious thing to me is that the whole thing is predicated on the notion that Ridgeon possesses a uniquely effective cure for tuberculosis which he of course didn’t. And it is (deliberately) melodramatic to say that if he doesn’t take Louis as a patient he is killing him. Of course he isn’t killing him. He would just be handing him over to one of the other eminent quacks we’ve been introduced to.

Act 3. Louis Dubedat’s studio

Louis is painting Jennifer. In their dialogue we quickly learn that he is not consciously a con-man, he just doesn’t like touching Jennifer for money and hates the whole sordid subject. In particular he rebels against patrons who hassle him for the portraits they’ve paid for, and dislikes the ones who’ve insisted they’ll only pay on delivery. Obviously his reputation has got around.

Then we learn that all the doctors have invited themselves round. Louis and Jennifer innocently think it’s to hold a joint consultation, not realising how much Louis’ borrowing and stealing has set them against him.

Ridgeon is first to arrive and Jennifer goes into another room, leaving Louis to embarrassedly apologise for the state of the place, explain that he doesn’t like to sponge off Jennifer and then ask Ridgeon for the loan of £150, going on to propose a complicated scam including post-dated checks which Ridgeon indignantly refuses, before asking Ridgeon if he will promote him (Louis) to his patients.

The other doctors arrive. Walpole discovers Louis has pawned the gold cigarette case he took from him. He is quite hopeless at money but charmingly heedless of any criticism, deploying his ‘dazzling cheek’.

When they confront him with Minnie’s story he freely says she was just a little serving girl at a seaside hotel. He seduced her, they got married and ran through her life savings, plus what else he could cadge and borrow, in three short weeks, at which point he kissed her, said I’ve given you unforgettable memories and left. The doctors are staggered by his lack of remorse or what they think of as morality.

Louis – and Shaw – baits them with all being narrow conventional moralists, all too ready to jump to moralising conclusions about bigamy, and next thought about the police.

LOUIS. Oh bigamy! bigamy! bigamy! What a fascination anything connected with the police has for you all, you moralists!

Louis scandalises them even more by telling them that Jennifer is already married. She married the steward on a liner who cleared out and left her. She thinks that 3 years of no contact with a spouse makes you divorced, and so was happy to marry Louis. So Louis is immensely pleased to tell the stuff doctors that they’re both bigamists.

When they ask why he didn’t tell Jennifer he was married, he says he wanted to spare her feelings, plus make her feel respectable, as any gentleman would. The entire scene, in fact the whole character of Louis is the latest version of Shaw twitting his bourgeois Edwardian audience for their narrow morality.

LOUIS: Oh, go and do whatever the devil you please. Put Minnie in prison. Put me in prison. Kill Jennifer with the disgrace of it all. And then, when you’ve done all the mischief you can, go to church and feel good about it.

When one of them suggests turning them over to the police, Shaw has gruff old Sir Patrick deliver one of Shaw’s favourite hobby horses, which is the immorality and uselessness of prison.

SIR PATRICK. The criminal law is no use to decent people. It only helps blackguards to blackmail their families. It’ll punish not only him but everybody connected with him, innocent and guilty alike. It’ll throw his board and lodging on our rates and taxes for a couple of years, and then turn him loose on us a more dangerous blackguard than ever. It’ll put the girl in prison and ruin her: It’ll lay his wife’s life waste. You may put the criminal law out of your head once for all: it’s only fit for fools and savages.

All their threats Louis turns back on his accusers with almost Wildean delight in paradox:

LOUIS. Well, I didn’t begin it: you chaps did. It’s always the way with the inartistic professions: when they’re beaten in argument they fall back on intimidation. I never knew a lawyer who didn’t threaten to put me in prison sooner or later. I never knew a parson who didn’t threaten me with damnation. And now you threaten me with death. With all your talk you’ve only one real trump in your hand, and that’s Intimidation. Well, I’m not a coward; so it’s no use with me.

Before Louis makes the extraordinary declaration that he is a disciple of none other than George Bernard Shaw.

LOUIS: Well, you’re on the wrong tack altogether. I’m not a criminal. All your moralisings have no value for me. I don’t believe in morality. I’m a disciple of Bernard Shaw.
SIR PATRICK [puzzled]: Eh?
B.B. [waving his hand as if the subject was now disposed of]: That’s enough, I wish to hear no more.
LOUIS: Of course I haven’t the ridiculous vanity to set up to be exactly a Superman; but still, it’s an ideal that I strive towards just as any other man strives towards his ideal.
B. B. [intolerant]: Don’t trouble to explain. I now understand you perfectly. Say no more, please. When a man pretends to discuss science, morals, and religion, and then avows himself a follower of a notorious and avowed anti-vaccinationist, there is nothing more to be said…
SIR PATRICK: Bernard Shaw? I never heard of him. He’s a Methodist preacher, I suppose.
LOUIS [scandalized]: No, no. He’s the most advanced man now living…

Presumably the theatre audience of the day would have found this self-referentiality amusing and we post-moderns are impressed by the narrative’s meta-something-ness, but my main impression is of Shaw’s amazing arrogance and self-centredness. It’s not enough that his plays overflow with his obsessions and spill over into long rambling prefaces, but he has to appear in his own plays as well!

But the practical upshot of all this is that Ridgeon washes his hands of Louis and refuses to treat him. He hands Louis over to Walpole who, predictably enough, decides that Louis is suffering from blood-poisoning which will require the removal of his nuciform sac. But he is dumbfounded when Louis, counter-intuitively, asks how much Walpole will pay him for the fun of cutting him open.

LOUIS: Well, you don’t expect me to let you cut me up for nothing, do you?

which has the flavour of counter-intuitive Wildean paradox. If Walpole rejects him there’s only one doctor left, Sir Ralph Bloomfield Bonington. BB now makes a contribution to the debate which is thin and silly. The best he can come up with is that, when you consider many of his patients, no matter how much they pay in fees, frankly a lot of them would be better off dead. This isn’t a position of moral philosophy or practical guidance, more after-dinner gossip. Instead he says he’ll treat Louis simply because he made a promise to his wife to do so, even though he thinks he’s ‘a vicious and ignorant young man’.

The joke is that through all these pompous speeches Louis has been doing a sketch of Sir Patrick and triggers the doctors into a bidding war for it. He manages to get the bidding up to twelve guineas, for which price BB buys it and presents it as a gift to Sir Patrick.

At this point Louis proposes to invite Jennifer back into the room and asks the doctors to behave like gentlemen. This leads to a lot of comic irony because, as gentlemen, they cannot speak openly about that they’ve learned of the couple’s bigamy, nor their low opinion of Louis, so are limited to conventional compliments and vagueness, leaving Jennifer quite puzzled.

Still, she is puzzled when Sir Patrick and Walpole hasten to leave and then appalled when BB says he will be taking on the case. She had hoped Sir Colenso… but BB is so vainly full of himself that he takes her dismay for embarrassment at securing such a magnificent physician. Maybe pomposity, and puncturing it, are the most enduring subjects of comedy. BB exits.

This leaves Ridgeon alone with Jennifer and coping with her real upset that he’s abandoned her. he tactfully says the place he had assigned to Louis must be taken by his colleague Blenkinsop.

The dialogue takes a turn when Jennifer angrily blames him. She says people are always turning against Louis and it can only be because he is so superior to them, he is an artist etc. Ridgeon has to tactfully agree because, as a gentleman, he cannot reveal what a low ‘reptile’ he and the doctors have come to think Louis. So there is comic irony in the audience knowing what a plight Ridgeon is in.

She asks him to sit by her and launches into a great speech about what a good man Louis is: oh, sometimes he’s forgetful about money but he’s promised her he will never again borrow any; and his wild talk about morality makes the narrow-minded think he is wicked; and he is a little susceptible to women but only because they throw themselves at him so – piling on multiple layers of irony because Ridgeon and the audience know how comprehensively Louis is deceiving her, and breaking all his promises.

Things take a more pathetic turn when she goes on to describe her childhood in Cornwall, an only child with very little contact with other people (which explains, to Ridgeon, he naivety and gullibility). And take a potentially tragic turn, when Jennifer explains that she has devoted her life to his career and so, if she ever lost faith in him, she would ‘it would mean the wreck and failure of my life’. She would go back to Cornwall and throw herself off a cliff. She assures him she could show him the very cliff she has in mind.

So this is the real doctor’s dilemma: should Ridgeon tell Jennifer the truth about her husband, destroy her image of him, and trigger her suicide? or should he break his own moral rules and blatantly and massively lie about her husband’s character?

Once again Jennifer begs him to take Louis on but Ridgeon replies with the deepest sincerity that the only way to preserve her hero, in her eyes, is to let Sir Ralph (BB) treat him.

RIDGEON: You must believe me when I tell you that the one chance of preserving the hero lies in Louis being in the care of Sir Ralph.

On this promise the act ends and I was initially puzzled. Did he want to hand Louis over to BB because having BB treat him means Ridgeon will avoid in future excruciating tests like this, where he was tested within an inch to spilling the beans and telling her what her husband is really like? But when I read the opening of Act 4 I realised it’s because Ridgeon knows for a certainty that BB’s quack mistreatment will quickly kill off Louis, preserve Jennifer’s illusions, and so stop her committing suicide.

The choice is not between Louis and poor Blenkinsop, it is between Louis and his wife, and the wife wins. You can rationalise Ridgeon’s decision because he has seen how Louis, despite the superficial attractiveness of his devil-may-care attitude, has actually used and exploited a naive gullible young woman. He deserves what he’s going to get.

Act 4. Louis Dubedat’s studio, three day later

Louis is ill. The doctors arrive, Ridgeon last of all. Sir Patrick tells him that Louis is at death’s door. He’s gone through three months of galloping consumption in just three days. Sir Patrick thinks he won’t last the afternoon. The doctors squabble among themselves, BB wondering if he over-stimulated the phagocytes, Walpole accuses him of killing the patient by ignoring the obvious diagnosis of blood poisoning.

Through their bickering we realise an unpleasant fact. BB administered Ridgeon’s discovery, opsonin but without taking notice of whether the patient was in an up phase or down phase. Remember Ridgeon explaining that the timing was crucial: administer it in an up phase and the patient will recover, but in a down phase and the patient will die. Ridgeon handed Louis over to BB in a down phase, more or less certain the injection of his vaccine would kill him.

Jennifer is wearing a nurse’s apron and distraught. Into this difficult scene comes a journalist who has asked to interview the artist. Shaw gives his opinion of journalists in no uncertain terms:

a cheerful, affable young man who is disabled for ordinary business pursuits by a congenital erroneousness which renders him incapable of describing accurately anything he sees, or understanding or reporting accurately anything he hears. As the only employment in which these defects do not matter is journalism (for a newspaper, not having to act on its description and reports, but only to sell them to idly curious people, has nothing but honour to lose by inaccuracy and unveracity), he has perforce become a journalist, and has to keep up an air of high spirits through a daily struggle with his own illiteracy and the precariousness of his employment.

And Walpole is wonderfully abusive and condescending towards him, too. Louis is wheeled into the studio in an invalid’s chair. There follows a long colloquy between the dying man and Jennifer in which he makes her promise to wear lovely clothes and marry again and preserve his memory. Ridgeon cynically observes that Louis is playing the part of The Dying Man but that doesn’t stop him giving a command performance, including a great hymn to art. It’s hard to know how seriously this is intended but it’s not particularly enjoyable.

Eventually he dies, the doctors feel his pulse etc. Jennifer exists the room. Ridgeon adjusts the bed and says some harsh words. He was not at all reconciled to Louis. The newspaperman asks a few impertinent questions but is quickly turned out by BB. it’s difficult to see why he was ever there. The doctors make fools of themselves waxing painfully lyrical about death. BB is given a comic moment where he ridiculously misquotes Shakespeare to his fellow docs but a) you’d have to know a bit of Shakespeare to realise that’s what he’s doing and b) it isn’t really very funny.

Mrs Dubedat returns dressed up to the nines and dazzles them. She grandly announces they have all been witnesses to a great man i.e. she has preserved her illusion to the end, and Ridgeon has solved his dilemma. So what is left for the fifth act, I wondered.

Act 5. A Bond Street art gallery

It is an exhibition of Louis’s work. The scene opens with some business between Jennifer and the secretary of the gallery, Mr Danby, regarding the catalogues and some advance press reviews, Shaw throwing a few satirical barbs about art critics only attending launches if there’s a free lunch etc. There are also copies of the biography of her husband which Jennifer’s written. Jennifer pops out to chivvy the printers about the catalogues.

The point is that Ridgeon arrives, has a word with the secretary, then has a look at the pictures very carefully, using a magnifying glass. The secretary himself pops out, leaving Ridgeon the only person. Jennifer walks back in not realising Ridgeon has arrived. He backs away from a picture muttering the telling comment, ‘Clever brute!’ which Jennifer overhears and flinches. They come face to face.

Jennifer is aloofly angry. She says she bumped into Dr Blenkinsop and saw that he had made a complete recovery… unlike her husband. Ridgeon tells her to spit it out so she does. She accuses him of being cruel and callous. All patients are just brutes to him, he cannot appreciate sensitivity etc etc.

Ridgeon asks he if she realises that he killed Louis but she takes him to mean, inadvertently, and softens a little, since this amounts to a confession or admission of guilt. But Ridgeon has committed to being utterly truthful and now explains that when he uses his medicine, correctly, it cures, as with Blenkinsop. But he deliberately gave it to BB knowing he would use it incorrectly and it would kill Louis.

Ridgeon makes the extraordinary admission that he did so because he was in love with her. She thinks this is ridiculous because he’s an old man at least 20 years older than her, and this deflates Ridgeon who slumps on a sofa and loses his elan.

But Jennifer asks if he deliberately murdered her husband and he admits it. She is scornful that he murdered someone in the ludicrous belief that she could ever be his. But Ridgeon goes on to explain that he also did it to protect her. Her besotted devotion to her hero eventually exasperates Ridgeon and he breaks his own promise and bluntly tells her what all the doctors thought of her husband:

RIDGEON. What truth! Why, that Louis Dubedat, King of Men, was the most entire and perfect scoundrel, the most miraculously mean rascal, the most callously selfish blackguard that ever made a wife miserable.

Which is, of course, pointless, because she refuses to believe it. That is not the man she knew and loved. The more Ridgeon tries to indict Louis, the more she pities Ridgeon for not being able to see the truth. But it’s then that she drops the bombshell. Louis (in his long speech) said he disliked widows, and she has married again! Staggered, Ridgeon makes his farewell and walks out.

Medical knowledge

Among other things, the play points at the immense ignorance of doctors for most of human history and the utter uselessness of almost all their treatments – but comically dramatises how their ignorance about disease or most illnesses didn’t stop doctors making sweeping, ignorant generalisations and charging their parents a fortune for completely worthless treatments.

All the hundreds of nostrums recommended for tuberculosis or ‘consumption’ as it was called in the nineteenth century, were worthless compared to antibiotics which only began to be prescribed for it at the end of the Second World War.

Tuberculosis (TB) is an infectious disease that most often affects the lungs and is caused by a type of bacteria. It spreads through the air when infected people cough, sneeze or spit… Tuberculosis disease is treated with antibiotics. (WHO website)

A series of dilemmas

Initially, I thought the play was about the strictly medical dilemma of deciding whether a man should be given priority treatment because he’s a good artist, condemning one of the other patients in the hospital to being kicked out of the war. But it ends up not being at all the play I was expecting, as it moves through a whole series of problems.

Then, when Blenkinsop reveals that he too has TB, the dilemma becomes a much more acute decision about whether to treat Dubedat or Blenkinsop.

But then it becomes something a lot less interesting, which is the choice between telling the truth and wrecking a woman’s illusions, or letting a bad man die and preserving them?

And then, right at the end, it turns out to have been a sort of twisted love affair all along, one that feels hurried and contrived at the end, with the last-line-of-the-play revelation that Ridgeon’s agonised decision was all for nothing.

As to the first, more medical versions of the dilemma, the trouble with the play, as with many Shaw plays, is that it raises an interesting subject but then deals with it in such a superficial way. The passages where the doctors discuss the morality of preferring this patient over another, or how you value someone’s life, are surprisingly thin and boring. Shaw has a feel for the drama of ideas without any depth of actual thought. This is what makes so many of the plays feel entertaining but thin.

As to the second theme, the choice between exposing Louis or preserving Jennifer’s illusions, this is much more familiar territory and feels like the kind of choice which goes back to ancient Greek theatre and resonates through all literature. Close to Shaw’s time it is the same dilemma which confronts Marlow at the end of Heart of Darkness between telling a devastating truth or a saving lie.

And then, right at the end, at the last minute, it turns into a frustrated love story with Jennifer’s studied rejection of Ridgeon’s pitiful declaration of love, and the whole thing feels like it’s moved into completely new territory, utterly unconnected with the moral and ethical problems stated at the start.

Movie version

The play was turned into a 1958 movie directed by Anthony Asquith and starring Leslie Caron, Dirk Bogarde, Alastair Sim, and Robert Morley. I love all those old actors but it looks dire, doesn’t it?

Thoughts

It has its moments and you can admire the structural ideas such as the parade of obsessive doctors, or the portrait of a genuinely amoral artist – but somehow it doesn’t hang together. Despite some funny ideas, ‘The Doctor’s Dilemma’ is, in the end, boring, for a number of reasons:

1) The portrayal of the medical profession as a collection of cranks is moderately funny but also very wordy. Morley’s speech in the trailer, above, demonstrates how wordy and clotted the subject quickly becomes.

2) As discussed above, the play can’t make up its mind what it’s about. The initial dilemma only emerges slowly and I wasn’t completely sure it was the central dilemma till half way through at which point it morphs into the ‘save Jennifer’ theme, and then, at the end, turns into a quite bitter story of frustrated love and delusion. Each new manifestation of the central theme eclipses the one before until the bitter end which leaves you puzzling what it was all about.

3) Crucially, there is no one sympathetic character. Pygmalion was and is a hit because the two central leads are so strong and distinctive. No-one here has the same depth of character, least of all Sir Colenso who the play opens with and is the doctor with the supposed dilemma, but who remains a pale shadow all the way through and certainly nowhere nearly strong enough to carry the kind of emotional weight which Shaw very abruptly gives him in the short last act where he painfully reveals that he loves Jennifer only to be comprehensively rejected. The transformation from the cool, calculating medic of most of the play to the pathetic failure-in-love of the last few pages doesn’t work at all, for me.

Similarly, Jennifer never really engages our sympathy: her threat of suicide feels stagy and forced and her last-page revelation that she’s got married feels stupefyingly forced.

The amoral Louis has a bravura scene at the start of Act 3 where he dominates the stage with his devil-may-care rejection of conventional morality but he isn’t given the prominence that his character requires, he feels like a bit player in his own story, and then I couldn’t get the measure of his death scene at all, was it intended that there shouldn’t be a dry eye in the house, because he is made to be far too arch and knowing for that to work?

It’s full of juicy moments, but the Doctor’s Dilemma feels like a failure to me.


Related links

Bernard Shaw reviews