The Captain’s Doll by D.H. Lawrence (1923)

Setup

Countess Johanna zu Rassentlow aka Hannele is a refugee in a German city after the First World War, but she’s not hard up. She and her friend Annamaria von Prielau-Carolath (aka Mitchka) own a shop where they sell large dolls and beautiful cushions of embroidered coloured wools, ‘and such-like objects of feminine art’. The dolls have become quite famous, so the two women do not starve.

Slowly we piece together the fact that they’re in a German city which has been occupied by victorious British troops at the end of the Great War. During this period Hannele has fallen in love with Captain Alexander Hepburn, a Scotsman, aka Alec. He is married but has been away from home for over a year and doesn’t care much about his wife. They have a strange love-hate Lawrentian relationship which puzzles both of them.

Chapter 1

The story opens with Hannele sitting in the loft where the Captain is billetted, putting the finishing touches to a realistic doll of a Scottish officer in tartan trews, based closely on the Captain – it is ‘the Captain’s doll’ of the title. He enters, hangs up his coat, admires the doll and kisses her. Pages are then devoted to outlining her ambivalent feelings about him. She quizzes him about his wife, which doesn’t help.

Chapter 2

One day a 50-something nice English lady with a tinkling little laugh enters Mitchka and Hannele’s shop. She likes the two dolls for sale but asks if there’s anything else. Mitchka prompts Hannele to take the captain’s doll out of storage where they’d put it. The Englishwoman asks if it’s based on anyone and the two German ladies rather too quickly admit it’s based on a real person, a Captain Hepburn. They are both horrified when the Englishwoman says she knows him well and it is an excellent likeness. After some more chat, she buys a cushion cover and leaves.

Giving away so much information worries both women. If Hannele’s liaison with Hepburn is reported to the authorities they may be deported from the city and Mitchka doesn’t want to have to start over again in a new place.

Hannele’s loft is next to Hepburn’s. That’s how they met. One night she hears voices coming up the stairs and opens her door to listen. She realises it is the Englishwoman who visited their shop, and that she is discussing the two German ladies with ‘Alec’ as they climb up the stairs. She must be related to Alec! His mother?! Hannele quietly closes the door before they reach the attic landing.

Chapter 3

Hannele can’t sleep. The church bell sounds two o’clock. There’s a corridor between the two attic rooms which leads to a door out onto a little terrace. The captain was billeted here because he wanted a room high up for his telescope and astronomy. Hannele wraps up warm and goes out onto the terrace to find him staring through his telescope. He tells her the older woman is his wife! He is 51, she is 49!

Worse, Alec admits he’ll probably go and stay with his wife at her hotel, tomorrow, for a week or so. He likes to make her happy.

Hannele just can’t understand this British lack of passion or energy. Alec supposes he’ll do this or that, says it doesn’t really matter, whatever. She is appalled. And she, what does she mean to him? When he apathetically replies, ‘Oh you know,’ Hannele astonished. She asks herself whether this is a man at all?

All the Lawrence stories I’ve read recently feature strong women who are appalled at how weak and empty their menfolk are. I’m beginning to think his core subject is not sex at all, but how futile 1920s men were.

Chapter 4

Mrs Hepburn accidentally-on-purpose bumps into Hannele in the street and invites her to tea at her hotel, along with Alec. Alec is surprised at her arrival and rings for tea for three. There’s all sorts of British fussing about tea and teapots and milk and suchlike till Mrs H sends Alec off on an errand. Then very calmly and deftly she explains to Hannele the basis of her marriage, how Alec got down on one knee on their wedding night and vowed to make her happy and always has. Oh she’s been a bit flirtatious with other men but never unfaithful, dear me no. And then, the war has had a bad effect on everyone. She mentions a hospital a friend went to work at where it turned out all the nurses were having flings with the soldiers. And another friend whose husband told her he delayed arriving home by a day because on the train he bumped into a woman who asked him to stay the night with her at a hotel and so he did. Standards have changed, my dear.

All this is by way of silkily getting round to her point, which is that when she heard her husband was having a little dalliance she was glad for him. Made him more real. Made her feel less guilty about her ‘little peccadilloes’.

But she then proceeds to the Big Revelation. Mrs H now explains that, back in England, she heard just the merest whisper of gossip about her husband and a refugee noblewoman and thought she’d better come and investigate. She arrived, heard about the studio shop visited it and… she has got the wrong woman. She thinks Mitchki is Alec’s lover. And she is telling Hannele all this because she wants her advice and help.

She has asked her husband to quit the army in the next three months and come home but he has refused and Hannele agrees a man needs an independent career. So, the wife continues, if Alec won’t quit the army, the British authorities will be notified and asked to move the two women on. That is the threat Mrs H wants Hannele to convey to Mitchka.

One last thing, she wants the doll of her husband. Affronted and angry, Hannele on the spot says it will cost three guineas, a lot of money. Herself angered, Mrs H asks for it to be delivered and leaves.

What a deliciously artful and malicious scene, which brilliantly shifts its tone from frivolous tea party via surprisingly candid sex stories and then onto real threat, all conveyed through the little posh British lady with her tinkling laugh and jangling bangles. Brilliant!

Chapter 5

The impact on stunned Hannele. How lowering it is to see the man you’re in love with in his domestic habitat with his wife. The scene Mrs H painted of him kneeling before his wife to pledge to make her happy, how pathetic. How he stood around during tea, at her beck and call, how pathetic. How can she (Hannele) be in love with such a wimp?

Since his wife arrived, she and Alec haven’t been together and there’s been time for her feelings to wane. Now she sees him as a pathetic ass, small and vulgar. And yet… the magic of their evenings in the attic, the way he walked quietly across it and stroked her under her chin and kissed her. Which is real, the sad little man who jumps when his wife orders him or the magical figure looking at the stars? Hannele just can’t decide.

Chapter 6

A few days later Alec gets a letter from Hannele summarising her conversation with Mrs H (whose name, we now learn, is Evangeline). She includes a letter she received from Mrs H (Evangeline) quietly demanding the doll she was promised and quietly explaining that she, Evangeline, has met the officer in charge of the British garrison’s ‘morals’ and established that any Germans considered a danger to morality i.e. Hannele and Mitchka, can be forced to leave town with 24 hours notice.

Chapter 7

Then a terrible thing happens. Around 10 at night Mitchka comes running to the attic to tell Hannele that Evengeline is dead. She fell out the third floor window of the hotel. She had washed a camisole and placed it on the window sill to dry and is presumed to have slipped. The captain claims to have been shaving, heard a strange cry, come into the living room, found it empty and assumed she’d popped out. It was only when hotel staff came knocking to tell him the terrible news that he fainted.

Well, that’s convenient. And it raises the obvious question whether this faint-hearted, shilly-shallying man is a murderer.

Next evening he knocks at her door and invites her over to his studio (the accident happened at the hotel where Mrs H had been staying and Alec with her; he hadn’t relinquished his attic room next to hers).

Creepily, he declares that now his wife will be at peace. She never really fitted into this world. He explains he felt for his wife like he felt for a wild bird he caught once and kept in a cage but always knew would die from its captivity. Once again, Hannele listens, incredulously.

Chapter 8

The captain feels all his ties with all other humans have been severed. He doesn’t want contact with anyone, even Hannele. Anyone attempting to get close, to share his emotions, fills him with revulsion. He goes back to England to sort out his affairs, to arrange his children’s schools, to sell off his wife’s large house, to liquidate his affairs. He decides to quit the army, maybe he’ll travel the world a bit, he doesn’t know. He never writes to Hannele or even thinks about her.

Chapter 9

But he was only 40 and Lawrence insists a single man’s thoughts always return to love. No they don’t, one is tempted to reply.

No way is he going back to the kind of adoration he showed his wife, that’s finished. But the pretty young things he meets in England, he’d like to be adored by them if only it could be a little flock of adorers. Just one wouldn’t be enough.

Eventually his thoughts return to Hannele and he writes but gets no reply. Making enquiries he discovers they’ve left for Munich. One thing leads to another and he finds himself on the train to Munich. He hates it. The Bavarians are rude and he can find no trace of the ladies until one day he spots… the model of himself in an art shop window! What would fiction be without far-fetched coincidences!

Alec enquires and the shop girl tells him Hannele is alive and thriving although, alas, Mitchka was shot in a riot in Salzburg. He asks her to enquire after Hannele’s address and says he’ll return.

Chapter 10

He reads a snippet in the local newspaper praising a still life a local artist painted which included the doll and mentioning that Hannele is now engaged to another aristocrat who lives in the Tyrol, the Herr Regierungsrat von Poldi from Kaprun.

Chapter 11

So Alec buys the still life featuring his doll, packs his bags and takes train to the Kaprun. Inevitably it now feels trashy and bankrupt. Unnecessarily Lawrence tells us:

It was still crowded and still elegant. But alas, with a broken, bankrupt, desperate elegance, and almost empty shops. The captain felt rather dazed. He found himself in an hotel full of Jews of the wrong, rich sort…

Lawrence’s antisemitism, his dislike of Jews ‘of the wrong sort’, seems to run deep (see Antisemitism section, below).

Chapter 12

He tracks down the Herr Regierungsrat and finds him a fat 50-something, once something in the imperial administration, now poor, a widower with two children. But he has great presence, great charm, and endless fascinating talk. When he kisses her hand with a flourish he makes her feel like a queen. His job is running the local government administration, his office is full of young men and women flirting, Hannele likes the lifefulness. And he has acquired over a lifetime a vast store of knowledge of his home district and plans to write a complete history, some day.

So Hannele is flattered into thinking she would like to marry this man, become his queen and help him write his history and so she allows herself to become engaged.

Chapter 13

So Alec finally bumps into Hannele one summer day. He is taking money out of a bank and she is walking through the square arm in arm with the Herr Regierungsrat. She doesn’t notice him till he is in front of her, bowing when she is struck dumb and the sunny day shrivels. She introduces them, the Herr Regierungsrat dark and silent, recognising a rival. She can’t think of anything to say so invites him to come visit her at the villa, which is on an island in the lake.

Lawrence writes a wonderful four-page description of the captain being rowed across the lake on a glorious summer day to find Hannele swimming in the water with another woman friend and the Herr Regierungsrat’s teenage son and daughter. It is a picture of sensual freedom.

Chapter 14

Without much explanation the next chapter cuts to the captain taking Hannele for an excursion to a glacier. Wonderful description of being driven in a 12-seater charabanc up into the mountains. After various adventures it parks outside a hotel and Alec and Hannele cross a roaring mountain stream and set off on foot up the tourist path. The scenery becomes ever more spectacular as they climb but Alec is put off by the touristy aspect of everything. They had to squeeze past other busses packed with trippers on the way up, the hotel is crammed with tourists pigging out on food and drink, the berries growing beside the path have been stripped by the locust plague of tourists. Well, you thought it was bad in 1922, Dave, you should try it in 2022. Ain’t no part of the world not devastated by tourism. You have to queue to reach the peak of Mount Everest.

Our couple are in a bad mood. Hannele hates the climbing but finds the sights and sound of the rushing water bracing. Alec just hates it, full stop. He’s a seaside man not a mountain man.

Chapter 15

Higher and higher they climb till they emerge from the pines and into a pure upper mountain valley with no trees, just grass and rock and nodding flowers. Breath-takingly beautiful.

Chapter 16

They stop to eat at 11, cheese, egg, bread, Hungarian wine. Across the valley they see the lines of other tourists criss-crossing like ants. For the first time they discuss what happened. In his backpack, rather madly, he has brought the still life which featured his doll. He shows it her. Neither of them like it. He asks why she sold it. Because she needed the money. And because he disappeared and never wrote. After a little bicker they pack up and head on. There’s still a long way to go. I’m exhausted just reading about it.

It starts to rain and they have a furious argument about her not bringing a raincoat. It gets out of control with him yelling that he hates the mountains and then incomprehensibly insisting that he is bigger than the mountains while she mocks him.

Eventually they tire and plod on higher and Lawrence gives Hannele several pages as she tries to puzzle out what Alec wants, eventually coming to the conclusion that she wants her to love him and maybe she does love him, but she isn’t going to let him bully her into it.

Somehow, in the middle of this series of fiery arguments with Lawrence’s psychological commentary on what was behind them, or what the characters try to figure out is behind them, it occurred to me that these are like the endless quarrels Lawrence and his wife apparently had. And made me wonder how much of the arguments between Lawrence’s umpteen men and women are just versions of the fiery fights he had with his wife.

Chapter 17

They finally arrive at the next hotel which is, of course, packed with tourists, including more ‘Jews of the wrong sort’ (see section on Antisemitism, below). Then the final part of the ascent across a mile wide valley and up to the glacier itself which Lawrence describes with a characteristically brilliant simile, comparing it to a great sky bear.

Before them lay the last level of the up-climb, the Lammerboden. It was a rather gruesome hollow between the peaks, a last shallow valley about a mile long. At the end the enormous static stream of the glacier poured in from the blunt mountain-top of ice. The ice was dull, sullen-coloured, melted on the surface by the very hot summer: and so it seemed a huge, arrested, sodden flood, ending in a wave-wall of stone-speckled ice upon the valley bed of rocky débris. A gruesome descent of stone and blocks of rock, the little valley bed, with a river raving through.

On the left rose the grey rock, but the glacier was there, sending down great paws of ice. It was like some great, deep-furred ice-bear lying spread upon the top heights, and reaching down terrible paws of ice into the valley: like some immense sky-bear fishing in the earth’s solid hollows from above. Hepburn it just filled with terror. Hannele too it scared, but it gave her a sense of ecstasy. Some of the immense, furrowed paws of ice held down between the rock were vivid blue in colour, but of a frightening, poisonous blue, like crystal copper sulphate. Most of the ice was a sullen, semi-translucent greeny grey. (p.237)

When they finally arrive at the edge of the glacier Alec insists on actually going onto the great sea of ice, despite having smooth soled shoes, so he has to go painfully slowly, digging into the melting idea with his heels or flinging down his coat and going on all fours then flinging it in front again. But he succeeds in making it to a brow of the glacier and is awed by the long black slits like gills which you can look down through sapphire blue depths and hear the gushing water beneath.

Hannele screams again and again at him to be careful. When he turns to come back it is much harder and he is petrified he will slip and careen all the way to the edge and tumble down the rocks. When he makes it back to the solid path, Hannele has got tired of waiting and set off back.

Chapter 18

They arrive back at the highest hotel and stop. His fingers are bleeding from digging his nails into the ice. She insists he loved it. Maybe, but never again.

Chapter 19

They eat venison and spinach then walk slowly back, she collecting flowers. It has clouded over and starts to rain as they arrive at the hotel by the motor-car terminus. Again Lawrence goes out of his way to deride some Jews at this hotel (see below). This is a stain on the whole text.

Anyway they have another argument at the hotel and she swears she’ll catch a different bus down the mountain and stomps off, but he has her ticket in his pocket and she’s forced to come back and ask for it. In the end they go back in the same charabanc.

There is the closest thing to Lawrentian comedy when they continue their argument in the car but, because it’s open-topped and because of the racket they have to yell their arguments at the top of their voices.

They carry on arguing even after the car’s deposited them at the pick-up place and even in the boat Alec rows Hannele back out to her island villa in.

What Alec wants

What it boils down to is this: Alec gives a long explanation of the way that all his life he has depended on love, felt love for his mother, sister, several girls and then his wife and it always ended badly. So now, aged 40, he’s had it with love. What he wants, quite simply, is to be honoured and obeyed. As in the marriage vows. Only on the condition of being honoured and obeyed will he marry her.

Hannele mocks and ridicules all his arguments all the way through the stop at the hotel, the car journey and the row across the lake. And yet at the end she agrees. Or seems to agree. Or says she might agree. He explains he’s off to East Africa to help a friend establish a farm. He’s leaving tomorrow. Will she come with him? Not on your life, she says, not under such ridiculous conditions.

And yet as she climbs up onto the jetty stretching out from the island she asks whether loving him is enough and he is absolutely fixed on being honoured and obeyed. And the story’s very last words are her asking him to come and collect her first thing tomorrow morning.

Like so many of Lawrence’s endings it’s irrational, crazy, wilful and utterly compelling. You can see this extremely ill-matched couple heading off for Africa and a lifetime of arguments and misunderstandings, one more of the many, many, many couples we see around us all the time who are completely ill-matched, who argue all the time and yet stick together through some occult unfathomable attraction.

Lawrence’s fictions have the implausibility and impenetrability of real life.

The war’s effect

Like ‘The Ladybird’ and ‘The Fox’ it’s a war story, a story about the deleterious long-term effects on everyone. It features in Evangeline and Hannele’s conversation:

‘It’s the war. It’s just the war. It’s had a terribly deteriorating effect on the men.’
‘In what way?’ said Hannele.
‘Why, morally. Really, there’s hardly one man left the same as he was before the war. Terribly degenerated.’
‘Is that so?’ said Hannele.
‘It is indeed. Why, isn’t it the same with the German men and officers?’
‘Yes, I think so,’ said Hannele. (p.186)

But is a more over-arching presence, in fact underpins the entire story. It’s only because of the war that the two aristocratic ladies are down on their luck and making crafts or that either of them meet Captain Hepburn, a member of the Allied occupying forces.

And then, all the passages set in Austria where Alec goes to track down Hannele, every little chapter has a reference to this or that degradation and shabbiness caused by the war. The prices. The inflation. The boarded-up shops. Even up in the mountain meadows, Lawrence feels the shadow.

The two sat in the changing sunshine under their rock, with the mountain flowers scenting the snow-bitter air, and they ate their eggs and sausage and cheese, and drank the bright-red Hungarian wine. It seemed lovely: almost like before the war: almost the same feeling of eternal holiday, as if the world was made for man’s everlasting holiday. But not quite. Never again quite the same. The world is not made for man’s everlasting holiday. (p.229)

Antisemitism

At the hotel in Kaprun:

It was still crowded and still elegant. But alas, with a broken, bankrupt, desperate elegance, and almost empty shops. The captain felt rather dazed. He found himself in an hotel full of Jews of the wrong, rich sort…

During the excursion up to the glacier, when they’re in the charabanc:

There were gates to open, and Hepburn jumped down to open them, as if he were the footboy. The heavy Jews of the wrong sort, seated behind, of course did not stir.

They arrive at one of the mountain hotels:

In the hotel was a buzz of tourists. Alexander and Hannele sat in the restaurant drinking hot coffee and milk, and watching the maidens in cotton frocks and aprons and bare arms, and the fair youths with maidenly necks and huge voracious boots, and the many Jews of the wrong sort and the wrong shape. These Jews were all being very Austrian, in Tyrol costume that didn’t sit on them, assuming the whole gesture and intonation of aristocratic Austria, so that you might think they were Austrian aristocrats, if you weren’t properly listening, or if you didn’t look twice. Certainly they were lords of the Alps, or at least lords of the Alpine hotels this summer, let prejudice be what it might. Jews of the wrong sort. And yet even they imparted a wholesome breath of sanity, disillusion, unsentimentality to the excited ‘Bergheil’ atmosphere. Their dark-eyed, sardonic presence seemed to say to the maidenly-necked mountain youths: ‘Don’t sprout wings of the spirit too much, my dears.’

Then, on the way back down, stopping again at the hotel.

The big hotel restaurant was hideous, and seemed sordid. So in the gloom of a grey, early twilight they went out again and sat on a seat, watching the tourists and the trippers and the motor-car men. There were three Jews from Vienna: and the girl had a huge white woolly dog, as big as a calf, and white and woolly and silky and amiable as a toy. The men, of course, came patting it and admiring it, just as men always do, in life and in novels. And the girl, holding the leash, posed and leaned backwards in the attitude of heroines on novel-covers. She said the white cool monster was a Siberian steppe-dog. Alexander wondered what the steppes made of such a wuffer. And the three Jews pretended they were elegant Austrians out of popular romances.

Why, why does Lawrence go out of his way to single out and insult Jews? It is a stinky stain across his writings, his imagination, his worldview.

Pairs

Lawrence likes pairs of women: Ursula and Gudrun; March and Banford; Yvette and Lucille; Hannele and Mitchka.

Partly it allows him to compare and contrast female characters. But having two intimate woman friends means he can also depict extended female conversations such as Hannele and Mitchka, at some points, have, in the first half of the story. Thinking about it, Lawrence almost never depicts extended conversations between men. For all his heteronormative stereotyping of ‘male’ and ‘female’, Lawrence is a woman’s man through and through.

Posh

And why, why did the son of an illiterate miner, the most working class of all England’s great writers, so quickly take to writing stories about aristocratic women, women who attend finishing schools, women with titles to their names, women who (like Mrs Hepburn) send their sons to Winchester, the creme de la creme? What drove Lawrence to this upper class obsession? Was it just that the upper middle classes lead more interesting lives and are more articulate? After you’ve depicted a certain number of farmers and miners, you’ve exhausted the seam? In which case, it’s a sort of indictment of the novel itself, as a form, that it requires interesting and articulate characters and so is hopelessly biased towards the bourgeoisie?

Or was it because he developed into a snob?


Credit

‘The Captain’s Doll’ by D.H. Lawrence was first published in 1923. References are to the 1984 Penguin paperback edition, where it is packaged with ‘The Ladybird’ and ‘The Fox’.

Related links

Related reviews

Absolute Friends by John le Carré (2004)

‘Everyone in Berlin knows Sasha.’
(Absolute Friends, page 58)

For three-quarters of its length this is the best, the most compelling, gripping and psychologically rewarding le Carré novel for years: for excitement and plausibility I would recommend this one over all its predecessors as far back as A Perfect Spy. It is a return to the full-blown world of Cold War spying, but now continued on into the more uncertain, violent and scary post-9/11 world and also, for the first time in his fiction, gives a real sense of age and frailty and remorse.

Then bizarrely, right at the end, the narrative turns into a rant against George Bush, Tony Blair and the US invasion of Iraq, our heroes get assassinated by the wicked, imperialist Americans and the whole thing is covered up in a finale that’s reminiscent of 1970s conspiracy thrillers, only without the wit or style.

Absolute Friends

Absolute Friends feels like yet another channeling of le Carré’s own life story. Like the author, the main protagonist Ted Mundy is brought up by a braggart father – this version is a British Army Major who stays on into post-Independence Pakistan, all bristling patriotism and military lingo, his mother having died in childbirth. When his father is cashiered from the Army in the 1950s, young Ted returns with him to grey, rainy England and, like the young JLC, is packed off to a succession of boarding schools which he hates, before – exactly like JLC – discovering a liking for German language and literature and so going abroad to study, in this fictional instance, to Berlin (le Carré went to study in Basel in Switzerland).

As with A Perfect Spy, the closer le Carré is to his own life, the more grounded the text and the language feel. Granted the entire childhood in Pakistan, the food and Muslim prayers and Urdu words for things, are not directly autobiographical but the product of research – nonetheless, the character’s feelings of being puzzled, isolated, seeking escape from a childhood world which is both smothering and the only support he knows, are powerfully conveyed and give the novel more psychological conviction than its four or five predecessors.

The plot

At Oxford Ted had taken a lover (le Carré heroes are never short of women, they luxuriate in an atmosphere of sustained sensuality – the ease with which Jonathan Roper or Oliver Single or Andrew Osnard or Ted Mundy attract and bed posh totty is one of the defining characteristics of these books).

Strident young Ilse introduces him to sex and radical politics, packing him off to Berlin with a letter of introduction to the city’s top student radical, Sasha (we never learn his last name).

‘Everyone in Berlin knows Sasha.’ (p.58)

Here we come to one of le Carré’s most irritating mannerisms – the way so many of his protagonists are in awe of super-famous, notorious, legendary figures. Thus everyone in Berlin knows Sasah, just as everyone in Panama knew Harry Pendel, everyone in the City knew ‘Tiger’ Single, and so on and so on.

Sasha is a small, intense, broken-looking chap but, again, like all le Carré leading men, the smirking ‘conqueror’ of numberless women – as well as being the much-admired brains behind radical student politics in the seething Berlin of 1969.

It’s rather a relief that, for the first time in five or six novels, the books features scenes which don’t involve chaps from Eton and Winchester pointing out to each other how legendary and/or what total rotters each other are, in that insufferably self-congratulatory public school way.

Indeed, the scenes set among the free love and ‘smash the system’ radical students of late 1960s Berlin felt powerful and persuasive – helped no end by being set among foreigners who don’t end each sentence ‘old boy’, and therefore sound like normal people, not the self-regarding ‘legends’ of Eton or Harrow or Shrewsbury who populate his other post-1990s novels.

Ted enjoys free sex with, inevitably, the most beautiful and aloof of the many beautiful young women in the squat. All women in le Carré novels are young and beautiful and carefree, personally I find this thread rather creepy.

They go sticking up posters calling for the workers to overthrow the system etc, and then there’s a big demonstration in which 6-foot-tall Ted a) rescues Sasha from a beating by the police b) is himself arrested, soundly beaten, handed over to the British Consulate and deported.

Time passes during which Ted does not resume his degree at Oxford but tries various life experiments and the narrative gives a good sense of the confidence and open horizons so many people experienced in the early 1970s.

Ted teaches at schools (inevitably he has affair with one of the other master’s wives), lives for a while in the stoned writer’s colony in Taos, USA (obviously has an affair with a painter’s wife), tries his hand as a radio reporter and newspaper journalist, before drifting back to London and getting a homely little job at the British Council.

He also lowers his sexual sights from artists and free spirits and falls in love with a practical young woman, Kate, teacher in a local state school (that is, not a fee-paying boarding school – crikey, there are a few around, apparently) who also happens to be an activist in the local Labour Party.

In his new British Council role Ted is tasked with accompanying a youth theatre group across north Europe and then around the Eastern bloc countries. This meandering account all leads up to the seismic moment when Ted is hailed by Sasha backstage in an Eastern European capital. Yes, Sasha, Sasha from the old days in the Berlin commune!

Quickly Sasha makes a rendezvous with Ted at which he tells the incredulous Englishman what’s happened to him in the decade since the glory years in Berlin. Briefly, he was lured by radical colleagues to cross the Wall into the East where he was at first interrogated and grilled in the notorious ‘White Hotel’ interrogation centre, and then, finally, rehabilitated, on condition that he became a lowly employee of the State Security Police, the Stasi.

Now, by the time of this backstage meeting with Ted, Sasha has become completely disillusioned with life in the East, whose authorities he dismisses as ‘red fascists’. He has begun copying incriminating documents and building up an archive of the State’s criminality against the long-awaited day, far in the future, when the communist regime will collapse. And then he was amazed to see his old friend Ted’s name on the manifest of a travelling theatre group. And hence this meeting…

Sasha tells Ted he wants to spy for the West. He has access to files and documents and information all of which he will give to the West, for nothing, just out of anger and hatred of the regime. Ted doesn’t know what to think, and has the latest of many out-of-body experiences he has throughout the novel whenever he finds himself out of his depth. However, Sasha stipulates that he will only hand these goodies over to Ted, in person, no-one else. To manage this, Sasha explains, to cement their bond, Ted must offer himself as a spy to his Stasi masters. This will provide the perfect excuse for their meetings.

Ted becomes a spy

Sasha even explains to Ted who to get in touch with when he gets back to the West, a drawling, upper-class Intelligence officer in West Berlin, Nicholas Amory, who becomes his case officer. Ted now undergoes training in a) how to collect Sasha’s information b) how to present himself as a candidate for recruitment by the Stasi, not being too earnest, playing hard to get, then ultimately giving in and agreeing to become a double agent.

This central part of the novel is familiar territory for le Carré, but fascinating nonetheless. His classic spy novels from the 1960s and 70s emphasised the human cost of the trade and this is no different. Ted has married Kate and they have a young son, Jake, but all of them find it wearing to cope with Ted’s more and more frequent trips to Eastern Europe, ostensibly attending conferences promoting British Culture, but in every instance a) pretending to the Stasi that he has vital espionage material to feed Sasha b) in fact collecting and transporting back Sasha’s top secret information to his British handlers.

The narrative makes a deal out of the multiple versions of himself Ted has to navigate: Mundy One, his ‘true self’, Mundy Two the British spy, Mundy Three the pretend Stasi spy. Throw in playing the roles of good father and dutiful husband, and you have a very confused public schoolboy, who wishes he could just go and play cricket. I found the narrative’s portrayal of this slightly hallucinatory sense of managing multiple selves very convincing.

Amidst all the spying Ted is introduced by Amory to a tall, shaggy, comfortable American, who interviews him in depth over a number of days, and who he grows to like, one Orville J. Rourke (‘call me Jay’), whose dear old mother, like Ted’s, is of Irish descent.

Then, one day, Jay disappears, without a goodbye or anything. Amory explains to Ted that he has just been vetted by ‘the cousins’ (i.e. the CIA) and passed clean. Good for him.

Over the years Ted and Kate drift apart. She finds herself promoted within the Labour Party and put forward as the PLP candidate for her home town of Doncaster, which requires her to move up there, along with Jake. Because of his work Ted remains in London, and is often abroad anyway. The inevitable happens and, some years later, they have a summit meeting where Kate announces she’s leaving him, for a shadowy man in the background, Philip, something to do with the shiny New Labour Project.

(Le Carré, who gives every sign of loathing Tony Blair, is heavily sarcastic about Kate and her steady rise in the New Labour hierarchy).

What rings most true from these sequences is Ted’s heartfelt sorrow at missing out on his son’s childhood, sadly meeting up with the teenage Jake and realising he is a stranger to him.

Then one day they all find themselves watching on TV the Berlin Wall being hammered to the ground, while the East German police look on in bemusement. Ted has a moment of concern for his friend Sasha, liable to be lynched by the mob in the anti-Stasi reprisals; and then panic for himself, as he realises his own Stasi file, proclaiming him a communist spy, might be published. But it doesn’t happen…

The present

All le Carré’s post-Cold War novels start in media res, i.e. in the middle of the complete sequence of events they describe. After establishing the situation in ‘the present’, they then go back to explain the often long and convoluted backstories which led up to this moment. Thus Absolute Friends opens soon after the Allied invasion of Iraq (March to May 2003) to find Ted adrift in Europe again and explains everything I’ve just summarised in a flashback.

Having lost his family in England around the same time the Cold War ended and his career as a spy came to an abrupt end, Ted has returned to Germany and set up a school for teaching English to corporate executives.

So as ‘the present’ of the novel opens, this school has shut down, bankrupted by the (possibly) criminal activities of Ted’s business partner Egon, and Ted has drifted down to Munich, where he has fluked a job as an English-speaking tour guide to one of the castles of mad King Ludwig of Bavaria, giving chummy, unfunny lectures to bemused tourists.

He has also fallen in love with a poor Muslim immigrant, Zara, who approached him one night in a bar offering to prostitute herself. The decent public schoolboy and soldier’s son in him turns this down and insists on buying her a nutritious dinner. She explains that she is the victim of an arranged marriage made back in Pakistan to a man who turned out to be a crook and wife beater, and who smashed out her front teeth among other assaults, before being arrested and sent to prison. Now she prostitutes herself to support her proud little son, Mustafa.

Ever one for a lost cause (and leaking a fair bit of sentimentality), Ted becomes Zara’s protector, paying for proper food, buying the suspicious Mustafa toys, behaving honourably for he is, like so many le Carré characters, at heart a jolly decent chap, an honourable schoolboy.

And now we realise the reason why le Carré had his protagonist born and raised in Pakistan. It makes him sympathetic to Muslim culture, it makes him ready to be taken along by Zara and Mustafa to their impoverished mosque in the backstreets of Munich, it contributes to his anger at the short-sighted stupidity of the Allies for invading Iraq on a trumped-up pretext.

But despite the naked contrivance of all this, the actual descriptions of Ted’s childhood in dusty Pakistan, of playing with the native children and the sweet memories which elude him in later life, are genuinely moving.

Above all, it is a relief not to be among the braying diplomats and their bitchy wives who have dominated JLC’s past few novels. It feels a little bit like actual modern life, in its poverty and anxiety and multi-cultural confusion. And it feels like an achievement for le Carré to have reached beyond the bubble of his age and class and grasped that.

The counter-university

And so all this brings us to the final act. Out of the blue Ted gets a letter from his old comrade in arms, Sasha, who makes his third great interference in Ted’s life. This time, when they meet, Sasha introduces him to a mad new scheme: there is a secretive billionaire who is so incensed at the West’s invasion of Iraq, and by the stranglehold the new, more virulent military-industrial complex is exerting over all aspects of Western media, culture and education, that he has a magic plan at hand – he wants to set up a Counter-University, which will provide a safe space for voices speaking out against the Complex, where alternative discourses and theories can flourish.

Sasha drives Ted out to an aircraft-hanger sized barn in the countryside outside Munich, where they transfer to a 4-by-4 driven by a stern female operative, and then up hill and through a maze of forests and valleys to a remote mansion.

It is like a James Bond lair, immaculate and clean in every detail, and Sasha leaves Ted to be processed by several sets of slick young receptionists and security guards before being admitted to the vast room of Mr Big, who turns out to be a tracksuited, twinkly old man of 70, who gives his name as Dimitri and delivers a long monologue about the evils of the US military-industrial complex. He outlines his plans to set up the Counter-University and even produces a reading list of the kinds of books they should be teaching, a list which could come straight from the pages of the Guardian:

  • Naomi Klein
  • Arundhati Roy
  • George Monbiot
  • Mark Curtis
  • John Pilger
  • Noam Chomsky
  • Joseph Stiglitz
  • Susan George

I’ve read articles or books by all of these authors and even attended lectures by some of them (Klein, Stiglitz). I am broadly sympathetic to their views, but I found le Carré’s decision to promote their views via the mouth of a wizened, old James Bond-style villain, bizarre.

‘I am speaking of something even more important to the development of western society than the ballot box. I am speaking of the deliberate corruption of young minds at their most formative stage. Of the lies that are forced on them from the cradle onwards by corporate or State manipulation, if there’s a difference any more between the two which I begin to doubt. I am speaking of the encroachment of corporate power on every university campus in the first, second and third worlds. I am speaking of educational colonisation by means of corporate investment at faculty level, conditional upon the observation of untrue nostrums that are advantageous to the corporate investor, and deleterious for the poor fuck of a student.’ (p.276)

In the fiction, Ted is driven back to his flat where he agrees the whole deal with Sasha. However, Ted is not that naive and the next night hops into a car and drives back out to the aircraft hanger, only to find it full of farm equipment, and then continues up to the James Bond mansion in the forest, only to find it stripped and bare. Spooky!

Stumbling back through the woods he is aggressively captured by a large force of armed and trigger-happy Austrian security police, stripped, hooded, bundled into a jeep and interrogated before it all comes to a halt with the reappearance of Jay, the CIA man from years before.

Jay reveals to Ted that they have their eyes on Dimitri and have traced his money back to Riyadh. The Saudis. Muslims, Ted. Has it crossed Ted’s mind that Dimitri might not be a peace-loving philanthropist but part of the new web of anti-Western terrorists spreading around the world?

Ted is cleaned up and dropped home where he is paid another visit by his old MI6 minder Nick Amory. For the first time since Ted’s known him, Nick is himself at a loss and puzzled. He reveals MI6’s uncertainty about Dimitri’s background and motives: is it to found a grand new liberal university in the venerable university city of Heidelberg? Or is that the facade for some evil ‘spectacular’ like blowing the city up?

And Nick tells Ted that Jay is no longer with ‘the Company’ i.e. the CIA: he’s been a freelancer, advising big US corporations for four years or more. So whose interests does he have at heart? Ted is right to feel confused, and the reader along with him. Thirty pages from the end Ted loads Zara and Mustafa onto a plane back to Turkey, to attend her sister’s wedding, glad to have them out of the way of whatever happens next.

The big shoot-out

What happens next is Ted drives to the big, empty school building where he’s made an appointment to meet Sasha. Sasha is late. After a few drinks, Ted takes a jemmy and opens the crates of books which have started arriving as preparation for the big new university and are piled up in the big main hall.

Sure enough, he finds lots of books on philosophy etc, but then… some on how to make home-made bombs, tips on arson, and then some crates full of hand grenades and guns. Oh. OK. In a very cinematic moment he sits back in the armchair in the big unlit atrium of the schoolhouse staring at the pile of cracked-open crates in utter silence, wondering what the hell he’s got himself into.

Then he hears the moan of a motor car, a screech of brakes and all hell breaks loose – the doors and windows are smashed in by black-clad US Special Forces firing machine guns in all directions and letting off small explosions. Ted runs to the stairs and stumbles up them despite being hit in the leg and shoulder. He makes it up to the attic where he swings open the skylight, looking down into the road in time to see Sasha being shot to pieces outside. At which point half a dozen SWAT troops burst into the attic followed by a balaclava-ed, tall, shaggy guy with a smooth Boston accent – God, it’s Jay! – who takes careful aim with a sniper’s rifle and shoots Ted through the head.

The cover-up

Exactly as in The Constant Gardener a) the hero is killed by the forces of evil b) le Carré embarks on an elaborate explanation of how a completely fictional cover story is manufactured by the State and media c) one good man speaks out in a bid to tell the truth but is stifled.

So official sources give out that US forces only just managed to prevent a major terrorist atrocity right in the heart of Germany. Huge stockpiles of ammunition and guides to terrorism were seized and two of the hardened terrorists shot dead but not before an intense firefight. Ted’s life is completely rewritten to make him look like an embittered loser who has turned to Islamic radicalism (even marrying one of them, godammit!) while Sasha is characterised as a former Stasi spy and failed radical. So much for the cover-up.

We go on to learn that Dimitri was a conman and actor hired to deceive both Sasha and Ted, who has taken a big payoff and retired to the States. We learn that Zara was arrested on arrival in Ankara and is being tortured until she corroborates the official story. We learn that a high-ranking British official published a ‘true’ account of Mundy’s life on an anonymous website (this would be Nick Amory), an account which was comprehensively rubbished by the powers-that-be and gullible journalists who, in le Carré’s view, are always easily impressed by the glamorous world of ‘intelligence’.

And the motive behind this elaborate and murderous scam? Germany had refused to join the ‘Coalition of the Willing’ which invaded Iraq. This entire incident and the deaths of Sasha and Ted were engineered to terrify German public opinion, helped along by paid articles from America-friendly journalists, designed to bring pressure to bear on the German Chancellor to fall into line with US foreign policy, with the American military-industrial hyperpower which, in le Carré’s view, has gone mad, and is undermining the whole world.


A spot of biography

Le Carré’s father, on the evidence of his own interviews and the recent biography of him, was a world class con-man, who gathered round him gangs of collaborators and conspirators who all agreed with the Chief and supported his mad schemes. Within this small world, tightly knit together by its secrets and conspiracies, to the growing boy John all the adult characters around him seemed larger than life figures, with superhuman qualities.

This sense of a small, claustrophobic world in which everyone is a legend to everyone else is one of the hallmarks of le Carré’s fiction. A Perfect Spy is a great novel because it has the force of a barely fictionalised recap of le Carré’s odd childhood. The same sense of a magic circle of large-than-life characters is strongly felt in Single & Single where the legendary ‘Tiger’ Single lords it over his gang, and also in The Night Manager where ‘the worst man in the world’, Richard Roper, lords it over another close-knit bunch of cronies.

The narrator of le Carré’s fictions is always an interloper into these secret worlds, an outsider, attracted and repulsed by their phony charisma, who ends up overturning them. Thus Tiger’s son, Oliver, betrays his father, and Roper’s protégé Jonathan Pine, betrays his slick arms dealer chief.

As part of his odd childhood, young le Carré was packed off to a series of boarding schools where he encountered another self-enclosed, self-regarding world full of ‘legendary’ masters and ‘fabled’ young stars of the cricket pitch or concert hall or whatever.

From which he progressed to Oxford University, also notorious for promoting its members, either undergraduate or faculty, to mythical status.

And then, after a spell of teaching at Eton (another institution not shy of turning its masters and pupils into legends) on to the Intelligence Service, another inward-looking organisation, also not slow to lionise its leading lights, such as good old Kim Philby, solid chap.

This background of a whole series of cliqueish little worlds full of people telling each other how terrific they are, I think, explains the often smothering cliqueyness of much of le Carré’s fiction, which consistently concerns itself with small groups of figures who all regard each other as legends and stars.

The Constant Gardener is ostensibly about criminality in the worldwide pharmaceutical industry and takes the hero (the Old Etonian Justin Quayle) from Africa to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, Canada and back in his quest for the truth. But in his mind he never leaves – and the narrative never really shakes free from – the small number of People Like Us in the Nairobi High Commission where we first meet him, their secrets and lies, all conveyed in dialogue dripping with the privileged slang and superior attitude of their gilded circle.

Use of the word ‘our’ in the fiction of John le Carré

Thus, in these later novels, all too many of the characters are ‘legendary’ and ‘fabled’, larger-than-life super-characters who simply everyone knows, darling. This verbal habit is like a chummy arm round the shoulder of the reader pushing you to buy into these cliquey circles, an over-familiar embrace which le Carré’s many fans eagerly welcome or don’t notice, but which this reader, for one, coldly resists.

It also explains why le Carré has a funny relationship with the word ‘our’. ‘Our’ is a ‘possessive determiner’ (according to linguistics) which, when used factually, simply conveys that something belongs to two or more people, one of whom is me. Our car, our house, our country.

But in le Carré’s hands it is used in a number of ways to compel the reader into the myth-making world of his ‘legendary’ characters, to pressure the reader into seeing things his, and their, way, to acquiescing in their overblown heroic status and the generally bombastic mind-set which surrounds them.

Thus JLC characters are regularly over-sold as ‘our’ hero this, ‘our very own’, ‘our dear old’ so and so. I noticed it prominently throughout this text:

… our own dear Neville Chamberlain… our beloved British monarchy… Ted Mundy, our Hyde Park Corner orator… our poor King Ludwig… our recently appointed misanthrope…

It is part of the general tone of smothering, over-familiar, hugger-muggerness, the sense that you are being jostled and coerced into a gang of upper-class twits who you would normally cross the road to avoid, which can make reading his novels feel more like an endurance test than a pleasure.

He uses the word ‘our’ to do a number of things:

1. To be vastly patronising – ‘… the photograph of our dear old queen…’ (p.148) conveys a sense that ordinary people like the Queen but you and I, dear boy, ha ha, we are so much more sophisticated and worldly wise, eh.

2. Appropriating historical or eminent figures to our cause or discourse, while simultaneously looking down on them – ‘our poor King Ludwig..’ (p.18)

3. To pour scorn and derision on political leaders – ‘Bush and Blair, our two great war leaders…’

4. To show how superior one is to history by mocking it – ‘When our Dear Führer came to power..’ (p.75) ‘… our dear Führer’s old Olympic stadium..’ (p.147) ‘our gallant British forces liberating the imperilled Suez Canal..’ (p.255)

5. To conceal anger beneath mockery – ‘As a young woman she [Sasha’s mother] was of course repeatedly raped by our victorious Russian liberators’ (p.78) Referring to the Stasi interrogation centre in East Germany as ‘… our White Hotel in East Prussia..’ (p.189)

6. To puff up his characters in that mock heroic, facetiously superior upper class drawl – ‘our very own hero of the hour’; one of the teenage actors is described as ‘Lexham, our Jamaican Macbeth…’ (p.136)

7. Loftily mocking the act of communication – ‘… for the benefit of our British and American readers…’ (p.86)

8. Normal, standard use of ‘our’, striking for its rarity – ‘Our targets for tonight are…’ (p.84) ‘our fellow activists..’ (p.90)

9. ‘Our’ as a dialect usage of working class people – Kate’s working class, northern father always refers to her as ‘our Kate’ (p.204)

10. Most of all for a self-mocking exaggeration of his own characters, as if the whole novel is a witty in-joke among public school People Like Us:

  • Ulrike our moral angel, our leading leftist, high priestess of the Alternative Life… (p.83)
  • Sasha our charismatic orator, our coming man for the leader’s throne, our Quasimodo of the social genesis of knowledge… (p.90)
  • Sasha our charismatic Socrates.. (p.119)
  • Sasha the great double agent (p.264)

This kind of pompous, overblown, superior, knowing mockery stands in for analysis throughout the book. What underlies all its forms is the breezily arrogant superiority of the true public school article, the upper-class disdain for the ordinary view, for normal phrasing, for anything which isn’t detached and ironised.

Cartoon characterisation

Something similar is going on with the tendency not just to name a character, but repeatedly to blow him up to mock-heroic proportions. We see and hear a lot of Ted’s thoughts and actions, but the narrator also overblows and mocks him in a series of comic, third-person cartoons as if he was a cardboard cutout of a human being:

  • First thing in the morning the chaste English boarding-school boy and as yet unbruised recruit to the cause of world liberation springs forth from his field bed… (p.71)
  • The good soldier is not fazed… The aspiring novelist likes to spread his notebook… (p.72)
  • ‘Ted Mundy, life’s eternal apprentice…’ (p.100)
  • ‘The former head prefect and cricketing hero signs up with a rural preparatory school…’ (p.106)

Why describe a character’s emotions when you can big him up with bombastic, if self-mocking, grandiosity? This mockery owes more to P.G. Wodehouse than the thriller tradition.

Endless comparisons to boarding school

So many English public school-educated writers seem never to escape their childhood, with the result that almost everything around them reminds them of their dear old alma mater:

  • Teddy tends to announce himself ‘in his best head prefect voice.’ (p.63)
  • Life in Berlin begins ‘for the chaste English boarding-school boy.’ (p.71)
  • Those students who don’t leave the squat in summer are ‘like uncollected children in a boarding school.’ (p.73)
  • When Ted meets his MI6 controller, his first thought is ‘whether Amory is one of the prefects who beat him in the washroom.’ (p.97)
  • As he starts his career as a spy, Ted is so scared ‘it’s like opening the bowling for the public schools at Lords every time…’ (p.225)
  • ‘To Mundy they look more like cricket umpires than removal men.’ (p.331)
  • When he puts her on the plane to Turkey, Zara clings so tight to Mundy, that ‘he imagines she is his daughter and he is sending her off to boarding school against her will.’ (p.345)

Is that really the most powerful comparison the text can think up for a terrified woman clinging to her only security in the world? This continual drawing of the wider world back into the bubble of upper-class English public school experiences, slang and attitudes, has a reductive effect on the imagination. Although the narrative travels widely across Europe and tells you it is taking in the world-spanning implications of the American military-industrial complex, it is fighting a losing battle against the narrowing impact of the le Carré’s relentlessly public school and cricket mindset.


The big issue

Belatedly, I realised that most of JLC’s post-Cold War novels gravitate around a Big Geopolitical ‘Issue’. (It reminds me a little of Charles Dickens’s early plan to write a novel about each of the vices, starting with Hypocrisy in Martin Chuzzlewit and then Pride in Dombey and Son, before he quietly dropped his plan.) Thus each of the novels deals with a Big Topic:

  • The Night Manager – the international arms trade
  • Our Game – not clear
  • The Tailor of Panama – US intervention in Latin America
  • Single & Single – City institutions laundering money for the wicked (Georgian drug suppliers)
  • The Constant Gardener – multinational pharmaceuticals resorting to conspiracy and murder to protect their profits
  • Absolute Friends – untamed aggression of global hyperpower (America) run riot

The big issue which this long fiction leads up to is the alleged stranglehold on Western culture, education and media exercised by a new, all-pervading and toxic American military-industrial complex.

‘If you tell a big lie long enough everyone will believe it,’ le Carré has Sasha yell at Ted – ‘and then anybody who speaks out against it can be labelled mad.’

Dimitri has a long speech about the evil of Bush and Blair, the wickedness of their war, the stifling of free speech. Ted nods his acquiescence.

Does it matter that a thriller contains or ends on some kind of political message? Not necessarily, no.

Len Deighton’s Bernard Samson novels contain references throughout to the wickedness of the East German state, without denting the novels’ plausibility because the thought is integrated into the narrative.

Similarly, Robert Harris’ terrifying bestseller Fatherland contains harrowing indictments of the Nazi régime, but the indictment is wholly integrated into the plot, and the seamlessness of that integration is a large part of the reason it is so satisfying as a novel.

Martin Cruz Smith’s novels manage to be very exciting but at the same time to shed fascinating light on the repressive nature of the countries and systems he is depicting (Russia, Cuba).

Even a comedy like Tom Sharpe’s Wilt On High can end on a page-long diatribe against the madness of nuclear weapons and not be damaged by it because it arises naturally out of the plot (and is all the more effective because Sharpe and his character Wilt are, on the whole, right wing and ridicule lefty politics so their anger is all the more impactful).

But it fails in this novel because it is simply so unsubtle. If JLC was already angry at the lies and hypocrisies of ‘our masters’ in the 1990s, he goes bananas after the invasion of Iraq. Just before this novel was published he wrote an opinion piece in the Times newspaper, The United States of America Has Gone Mad (link below) which I found embarrassing in its strident simple-mindedness.

If I was Arundhati, George, Naomi and all the rest, I would be flattered to be namechecked in a John le Carré novel, but also embarrassed at the guileless shoutiness of the context.

At key moments, and their central points, all these books lack analytical intelligence. Emotional depth? Often. Colourful ability with language? Yes (if much given to bombast and exaggeration). Cunning plotlines? Certainly. The artful creation of multi-levelled timeframes? Emphatically yes.

But when a character has to explain the exact geopolitical crux, the issue firing the whole narrative, the great wrong which must be understood – time and again JLC gives the speech to a drunk, bombastic, over-the-top or imbecile character: to the moronic Larry Pettifer in Our Game, to the oafish Jonah in Tailor of Panama, to the ridiculously implausible ‘Dimitri’ in Absolute Friends.

It is revealing that the first two characters are bigged up to ‘legendary’ status – ‘the one and only, the irrepressible, the immortal Jonah’ – because in these crux scenes le Carré doesn’t analyse (let alone dramatise): he creates a loud, shouty character and effectively says, ‘Look everybody – this guy is really famous and really clever and he thinks it’s a bad thing, so you should, too.’

It’s also dismayingly characteristic that these Voices of Truth swear a lot as if swearing guarantees the truth o what’s being sworn about:

‘I am talking world domination by the Yellow Man, and the end of fucking civilisation as we know it, even in the fucking Emerald Isle…’ (Jonah, Tailor of Panama, p.290)

‘West’s compassioned out, Timbo,’ he announces to the ceiling, not bothering to stifle a huge yawn. ‘Running on empty. Fuck us.’ (Larry, Our Game, p.138)

Instead of subtle and understated analysis, le Carré has the key explanations of the big theme of each of his post-Cold War novels delivered by over-hyped, swearing drunks.

What’s ultimately so dismaying and demoralising isn’t what le Carré is saying, it’s its complete unoriginality: when you read the long speeches the characters are given telling you that the invasion of Iraq wasn’t justified, that there were no weapons of mass destruction, that the Bush presidency was electorally invalid, that Tony Blair shamelessly sucked up to George Dubya for nothing, that the hysteria around the War on Terror was cranked up by the corporate-owned media in order to boost the profits of the arms industry, and so on – who among le Carré’s liberal readership is going to disagree with any of this?

Like all his readers I know al this already because I read about it in the papers all the time. I just don’t care very much because:

a) There is nothing I can do about it.
b) It is the way of the world. Which war in the past 150 years wasn’t good for the arms industry? Which British Prime Minister of the last sixty years hasn’t sucked up to an over-mighty America?
c) That was then. Things have moved on a lot since 2004.

Either le Carré’s arguments should be made much more forensically, analytically, dispassionately, and zero in on precise wrong-doings; or they should be woven much more cannily into the narrative (à la Robert Harris’s much more canny novels). But they do neither and feel too simple minded to be effective, too bolted onto the main plot to have as much dramatic impact as they should.

The combined effect, in this novel especially, is to make le Carré’s views look childish and shallow.

My little pony

I have a bet with my son that every post-Cold War le Carré novel will contain a reference to a private school character having a little pony. In his previous three novels key characters have shared memories of their first ponies or of competing in the local gymkhana (Oliver in Single & Single, posh totty Francesca in The Tailor of Panama, Quayle finds a photo of Tessa’s first pony in The Constant Gardener).

Disappointingly, the main character in Absolute Friends does not have a my-little-pony memory but… the receptionist at the Bedford Square house where Ted goes to see his back-up team during his spying days, is ‘a jolly girl called Laura with freckles and a pony club smile’ (p.210).

So I’m still just about winning my bet. I just need there to be a pony reference in his last four novels and I win a pound.


Credit

Absolute Friends by John le Carré was published in 2004 by Hodder and Stoughton. Page references are to the 2004 Coronet paperback edition.

Related links

John Le Carré reviews