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Revamping Lifestyle

Posted in Daily struggles, Family, Life, Love, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2013| Leave a Comment »

WOWOWOWOWOW!!

It has been a long time, my sweets. I have been busy, and crazy…..and busy!!! The way time can get away from us is really quite frightening, isn’t it? Currently, I’m stretching out my blogging muscles so I can get down and dirty with some updating! First I should say, Happy New Year, Merry Christmas….or Happy Holidays? What is the socially acceptable terminology these days, because we, over in this household, are out of touch! *Ahem* anyways, before I start going off on a tangent, I hope everyone is having an amazing time with life and all of it’s possibilities. 🙂

Time for some current events, D and I got married in June of last year!! It was an amazing day, everything went perfect…..well, mostly went perfect…after we finally got my dress zipped and to the ceremony (an hour late) theeeeen things went swimmingly. The little munchkins had a blast getting dolled up, which was too stinkin’ cute. Not that I’m biased or anything like that. 🙂 My wife was gorgeous as ever!! I’ll have to do a post full of updated pictures….not this one, maybe the next one.

Let’s see, I started eating healthier, which for me means I’m actually eating. My fridge is loaded with fruits, veggies, soymilk, greek yogurt, homemade fruit water, and whole grain wheats. I wake up I eat a healthy breakfast, I even started busting out some morning yoga to jumpstart my day. Hey, girl, heeeyyy ;). Truthfully, eating healthy has helped me feel better, more energized, less like my stomach is trying to give my backbone a hickey. Ohh yes, and we finally got me off of the caffeine addiction. Don’t get me wrong when I want a cup of coffee I will have one. The only difference now is I keep decaf in the house, and get treated with Starbuck’s once in a while. Who knew that kicking the coffee would help me feel 300% better in the mornings? My alarm goes off, I’m up out of bed, making breakfast, doing some yoga, taking a shower, and out the door in about an hour and a half. No dragging of the feet, or snoozing until I’m going to be late, it’s really a fantastic feeling. Oh, and I don’t need to nap everyday of my life. What a phenomenon….

Now if I could just start pushing myself to work out for strength and endurance, we’d be golden. Whose going to hold me accountable? Anybody? Somebody?

Ok, what else, what else……OH! I started school last fall at a local community college. Graphic design and illustration is my major. I’m rocking that sh–stuff, hehe. This semester is totally crazy because of my three-hour art class each day, but I was smart and scheduled myself down to two days a week instead of five. Last semester I was a little retarded. I’m already two weeks ahead in my computers class, and I’m determined to be finished with my math by the end of next month. Cross your fingers for me…it’s going to be a rough one. Thank god for the wifey because she is on point when it comes to maintaining the household if I have homework. The only time I pause, is for our dinners because they are important. If D has to work at night, I just work around the kid’s school schedule to get it done. We have great teamwork here.

Speaking of the little munchkins, they’re doing pretty well in school also. Their first parent teacher conference was and amazefest. Lee is finally in kindergarten, so they all get to ride the bus together in the mornings…for at least this year. Next year Kole will start…..*gulp*…..MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!!! He’s planning to play on the basketball team. I really hope he sticks to it because I think my grandma’s more excited than he is. We are having a little bit of a problem with Miss Madison the liar, liar pants on fire. She decided after Christmas break that she didn’t have to turn in her homework or study, or do anything she was supposed to. Nevermind, that she completes the homework at home so all she has to do is drop it in the homework tray. (I know, I have no idea….kids, ugh) She was also hiding notes and bad test grades from her teacher in her desk, so that she could throw them away without me ever seeing it. Being the nazi’s we are, she’s grounded from everything for the rest of her natural life….or until she proves she can bring her grades up. Mrs. Z is sending home weekly progress reports that I have to sign, so we can make sure she moves on to the fourth grade. I told you, we’ve had craziness around here. On top of all that, Kole smells like a man, and needs deodorant and man soap…..I am not thrilled. OH and I found a Victoria Secrets magazine in his pillow. So we had the “talk”. Not the sex talk….the “make sure the bathroom door is locked” talk. If only I would’ve video taped this….I could not stop laughing to save my life. Seriously, I had to walk out of the room to compose myself. Fortunately, for him, he is allowed to keep the Vicky C’s magazine because they are clothed, but he is never allowed to have or watch anything porn related. He says he understands, so we’ll see. Teenage years are really wierding me out as a mother. I’m sure there’s more fun interesting facts about the munchkins, but those are the most current developments.

D is blowing CVS management out of the water!! She went back to work for them with her desired amount of pay and a fast track opportunity to store management. She’s basically running the store she’s in now, because the manager is….well, he’s a little….what’s the word….oh, lazy. I’m so proud of her and very excited to see her succeed so quickly. It’ll be nice if she can get a store that’s still relatively close to home when she’s assigned one. The only downfall to this job, is working the night-shift. We all had gotten so used to her being on a set schedule with weekends off, that this is torture. The kids miss her at dinner when she’s gone, and I try so hard to stay alive until she’s off of work. But, we make it work and always, always make time for family nights and date nights. Since we’ve been married, it’s like a whole new world. Never in a million years did I think we would feel any different, but it truly is. Life is great and we are amazing. Not only that, but wifey is going to start some yoga with me…heck yes!!! I’m so excited, the only thing is we have to find a schedule that works for us. I’m usually up at 430-500 on school days, and D’s work schedule is unpredictable. Boo.

Even though today is a sick day for me, I’m trying to find some motivation to work out. I have p90x, brazilian butt lift, insanity (coming soon), zumba, and endless YouTube workouts. I don’t even know if working out is a good idea when sick or not. Yoga still worked for me this morning, even though I’m not remotely energized. Google will know, google knows all. So now that the gist of my life is caught up, I’m going to attempt a butt lift and stretch using my “splits in two weeks stretches, hop in the shower, and head off to a funeral.

Until next time…..(which is hopefully not as long as this last time wheweee!)

-T

 

P.S. Soon enough I’ll be posting yummy recipes, my workouts that I’ve tried, crafts, inspiration and oh so much more!!! ❤

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Missing You

Posted in Daily struggles, Life, Work, tagged , , , , on April 20, 2012| 2 Comments »

I haven’t blogged in so long it’s like going to a foreign country for the first time. What’s new, what’s new….hmmm where to start is the real question. I’m sitting in my kitchen right now staring down the dishes willing them to wash themselves…..it hasn’t happened yet but, I’m determined. Conquering the telepathic abilities is top priority today. I’m going to Eat that Frog …so to speak. (For all of those who are confused, it’s a self-help book about procrastination hahaha)

Ahem, anyhow, I have officially become a stay at home mommy again. Everyone jump up and say YAY! My life still feels just as busy as when I worked full-time, but, I’m always home. So, I dig it. I’m getting married in two months, well less than two months…and I’ve never been happier :D. <–That deserves another yay. All together now….YAY. Sometimes it is kind of weird to be home all day, like look at me blog, I haven’t had the energy or the inspiration to write one measly sentence in months. Yet here I am, getting back to my roots. The plan is to keep up with both of my blogs and start managing an etsy account. YEAH, etsy….I’m jumping on the bandwagon. What I’m thinking is I’ll start off with a few nail designs on artificial nails, some cute drawing journals for kids, and knitted wash cloths for babes to see how well it takes off. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a full-fledged crafting business by the end of summer. HEY, don’t judge…..I can dream :D. I have all this crafting crap in my closet that has not been getting anyyyy good use, so I might as well start-up the things I love and make a living out of it. Now if only I could get myself on a decent schedule…..I have a great sleep schedule, I need a working from home schedule…. I suck at organizing.

OH! Forgot to mention, I also have started a zoo…yep you heard me a zoo. I have my pup, Ollie….my bearded dragon, Godzilla…..my psycho beta fish, Tank…..a gajillion tadpoles, No Name haha. I’m working on getting a rat, because their cute. Or another lizard. I’m not sure yet…one day when I become an Etsy god, I think I’ll look into the Savannahs again. They’re beauuuuutiful and the size of a dog, but, they’re a cat. A cat that looks like a leopard. A cat that costs more than 3 thousand dollars…..heh.

So, just like the dinosaurs, I’m Baaaack.

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Wreckless Hearts

Posted in Daily struggles, Life, tagged , , , , on May 6, 2011| 3 Comments »

Once, I was a girl who knew no bounds. I ravished through the hearts of lions, picking the torment out of my teeth with satisfaction. An unbreakable soul, an untouchable heart hidden deep behind a  sea of green. The gates that bound my heart were immaculate, well maintained, formidable. I was a fortress.

I lavished in my solidarity, fighting for it, thriving on it.

My young were set up on a pedestal, where they were worshipped like the Gods and Goddesses. Protected by me like a tiger protecting her cubs. It was us against Them, and we were winning. Winning what? The War, of course. Against fear, failure, pain, and agony. We climbed to the highest parts of the world, secluding ourselves indefinitely. They kept trying to come, trying to penetrate our fortress….but, they failed, they fell and we rose even higher. We sang our war cries and danced to our song, loving the moments of our success. Nothing could tear us apart. Nothing could break us down.

Then we saw it, a glimmer of hope. She came from our blind side knowing how to get passed our barriers. I was raped of my caution, seduced by desires….thrown from my position. We gave up the pedestal to her, a throne of her own. They cowered in her presence seeking approval and acceptance. I yearned for her fire, her life, her breath. Slowly, the chains binding my heart began to wither, rusting from negligence. Fears forgotten and filled with something bigger….something brighter….something stronger. My soul was reborn with the glow of an Angel’s enlightenment. There was a new kind of warrior in town.

We followed her anywhere.

Softened by comfort, we have forgotten how to survive. Smothered by love, we have forgotten how to live without it. Tricked by unity, we have been betrayed…..

But, we will rise again to the highest ends of the world. We will fight through the pain that has been inflicted.

I have learned a lesson and I’ve learned it well. The ache in my heart will soon dull….it will fade…it will serve as a reminder that there is only us.

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Breaking..up, down, around…

Posted in "The Gay", Daily struggles, Love, Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 10, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Today after work I went to take a nap…I failed. I laid in bed and tried to close my eyes, my brain was like a run on sentence. When I opened my eyes all I seen was the huge matted collage of our family pictures. From when we were a family…or so I thought. I’ve made a hard decision, probably the hardest I’ve ever had to make. D and I broke up last night. We always said that we would stay friends if we ever broke up.

I can’t do it. I can’t watch her life go on without me, it hurts too much, I can’t ignore the anger I feel from things she said. It isn’t easy for me to push her away completely however, I know that’s the only way I can move on and get over this hump. I’m trying to separate her from me. I went on a rampage today and took down all the pictures….except I can’t bring myself to throw them away.

If we aren’t meant to be together then why does it hurt so bad? I’m trying to listen to my brain instead of my heart this time….there’s been about a million and one times I wanted to grab the phone to text her about something or call her. We had a ritual, when we were on smoke breaks or leaving home from work, we called each other every single time. Do you know I got out of work and I couldn’t wait to call her? Except, I can’t anymore. My heart is so broken. It’s like there’s a piece of me, right down there in the center of my chest, that has been ripped out. I feel so empty. I don’t even want to sleep because that’s when it’s the worst. I’ve tried turning on music, the tv, writing, drawing, reading….I can’t focus on anything! My brain just runs and runs…..I wish half the batteries I bought were this persistent.

We had so many good times, bad time, goofy times, cute times…and so much. How do I function without her? I’ve written probably 30 notes to her, tossed them in the garbage, then started over. I have the worst mood swings, one minute I’m crying, the next I’m angry and starting to throw things out, then I’m perfectly calm about the situation…then I got back to the crying bit. The ocean has nothing on my tears.

I’ve gone as far as googling ways to get over your girlfriend…tried hanging out with friends, played with the kids, cleaned up the house, and watched some brainless television. EVERYTHING reminds me of her….every last effing thing. I’m just at a crossroads. I want her in my life, I want to love her, I want her to love me, I want a family. But, it’s not in the cards for us. We are way to different…..see this is my brain trying to talk my heart out of feeling what I feel.

I’ve heard everyone say that it’ll get easier, or it’s for the best, or it’s about time….well, thanks guys, thanks for supporting my breaking heart. See here I go getting to the angry part. Perhaps it’s time for me to try to shut off…….I’ll be back if that doesn’t happen.

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Sleep

Posted in Daily struggles, Life, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2011| Leave a Comment »

It seems so easy to do. Just lie your precious head down on a pillow, wrap up in a warm blanket, and drift off into dreamland. Easy? Not lately. I lay in bed hoping to get to that comfy, happy place….and BAM my brain doesn’t shut off, my legs don’t sit still, and I need to do something. I get up for a drink of water, a smoke, to make sure the doors are locked……then slowly but surely I come to my computer. One punch of the power button, a flash of the screen, and I’m in my happy place for insomnia. Nothing like the feel of my fingers flying over the keys to release my thoughts.

So let’s talk about what’s on my brain tonight. I have two one year olds sleeping in my bedroom, well one in the bedroom and one (who threw a fit) wrapped in a blanket on the dining room floor. It’s been a while since I’ve had the babyness in my home. It’s a comfort for me in ways and in others I’m a nervous wreck. My house is far from baby proofed, or even baby friendly anymore. My baby is four years old going on 35 so she pretty much knows what to touch and what not to. It’s funny though, how somethings are so natural, even after not having a baby around in years. Patience floods back to you….that patience only used for babies. (and idiots) There’s also a sixth sense mothers have, like eyes in the back of their head. NO REALLY!! It’s so true. With babies around it’s intensified by a million.

I miss having babies, I want more, like an orphanage of small, cute, plump babies. Maybe I should get a puppy….

I guess I feel a little better. A short blog, a looooong journal entry, and some sweet tea. I’ve got the regular American dream right here….

Sleeplessly Yours,

Random Insomnia Girl

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Why we Write

Posted in Daily struggles, Love, Work, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2011| 6 Comments »

I have many reasons for why I write. Even though, I never really thought about them until recently during a discussion I had with a friend. Keeping things bottled up in my head makes my life stressful. I need outlets for my thoughts even if they are random ones. Sometimes I just need to vent, other times I feel quite political and I want to share with someone. Even more so, I usually cannot articulate my feelings when I’m speaking. Writing gives me time to gather the thought coherently….and then edit appropriately. At times when I’m upset, my talking and writing becomes country and full of slang. So to be able to get it all out into a journal or a blog allows me to hold  on to it then edit it so I don’t sound so….childish or uneducated. I take pride in being able to write good. I may not be great, but I’m not bad.

What reason do you write? When I was younger, about 12, I saw a therapist. (Go figure, right?) He got me hooked on journaling. He said it was good to get everything out to clear my mind so that I could focus on situations and ways to make them better. From that day forward I kept a journal of my deepest darkest thoughts, you know, the ones you don’t want to say because it makes it to real. Like speaking the thought breathes life into it, transforms it into a live being. As I got older my venues changed. I started using my computer to log my entries then eventually moved onto the smart phone. Which I must say is the most convenient invention I’ve seen so far. Now, I am your regular blogging fanatic. During the day I use my phone to blog or journal, at night I’m glued to the laptop.

I’ve even tossed around the idea of writing a book. Writing has become a large part of me. So much so, that when I’m not writing….I’m thinking about what I’m going to write later. At times where I don’t have the time to write, I don’t feel complete. For goodness sake, I’ve scheduled in writing when I first started my job at the bank! I would wake up at 5am, just to give myself coffee and thought time. Yes, I realize I am a little crazy. However, I LOVE it!! My biggest fear about diving into a novel is: What if I’m not good enough? What story will I tell? I can come up with all kinds of ideas, but, once it comes down to putting it out there I freeze. Maybe the real reason is I’m afraid of bearing my soul to the world. Letting someone into that sacred spot of my heart. Really, that’s what writing is. Even in fiction you find some truth buried under it.

I probably should be going to bed..or working on homework….or something, but my brain does not want to shut off!

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Creation and Consequence Situations

Posted in Daily struggles, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2011| Leave a Comment »

This is the title of my first paper for Ethics: Cultural Diversity. There is a text-book, but for research purposes it’s limited to explaining definitions of things like: Migration, Annexation, or colonization. Which can I say that migration seems like it’s almost the same as emigration and immigration except with different terminology? All of them involve another race moving into a foreign country in some way. If we look at the technicalities than yeah, I guess I see the difference….but nothing like confusing the over worked college student/single working mother. So I’m trying to “research” on the web to find quality sources of information….so far, nothing useful. Wikipedia and Answers.com are not viable research options, which of course is the two most popular searches for my subject. YAY! Go internet of useless information. It may just be time to bust out the old traditional research method….the library.

I must say there is some kind of romanticism to studying in the library amongst dusty books…with a notepad and a pencil. Nostalgia is tugging at my memory…pulling on my heart-strings. I’m the hopeless romantic at heart who loves old vintage ways of expression…which is probably why I still carry a journal with a pen. I can’t say that I use pencils that often anymore but there’s nothing like the feeling of the pen gliding over paper, filling it with words of creation, the soul of thought. Sometimes I feel like I should have been born a long time ago, in a different era. Where time was slow and the world wasn’t in such a hurry to get no where. Back when people savored the day in every moment.

But, here I am, where in less than a half hour I can mass email, txt, and contact every person I know, pick up dinner, eat, and find a good movie. Usually….all at the same time. I need a nice long vacation in Spain, where time doesn’t dictate what I’m doing, there’s no rush to be here or there. We can just be.

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Range

Posted in "The Gay", Daily struggles, Work, tagged , , , , , , on March 15, 2011| Leave a Comment »

This weekend it’s time to play Army again! Complete with my M16 and combat boots. Running through the muck in full gear is just what I want to do this weekend. Good times. <—Loaded with sarcasm. Don’t get me wrong, I love the Army, I love being in it and I love shooting a weapon. It’s full of challenges to overcome every second. It seems as though lately, since I’ve had a big girl job, it’s becoming a slight inconvenience. The weekends I have drill means I don’t get a day off for 13 days, which isn’t to terrible….until you throw in four kids and college. A bonus is I can pretty much be openly gay! Yay Army for getting with the times.

I’m hoping before I go, I get my new bag and my lense in the mail!! I have taken up learning photography (I know, I know on top of everything else I’m doing!) and bought a Nikon D3000 digital SLR camera. It’s beautiful! The bag I’ll be getting allows me to fit 4 lenses the camera, lots of doodads, some notebooks and pens…and wait for it….wait for it….my laptop!!!! It also has an attatchment for a tripod, which I do not have…..yet. If I do get this stuff before I go, watch out WordPress! You will get a plethora of photos, hopefully good ones too. Before you know it I’ll be a pro, I feel it!

I have so many obsessions, some say hobbies, I say obssessions. Doing hair is one. Photograpy is another. Those are my two biggest. I have a plan that I won’t spill on here quite yet, but, it’s huge! Believe me, I dream big and I can make anything happen. =)

I would love to write more….but, dag’ gone it, I’m falling asleep.

Goodnight, world.

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Writing in a Blog?

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on December 6, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Some bloggers would like to blog the news and comment on current events. So should we as bloggers be held to a certain standard of writing, shall we say, grammatically correct? Or is blogging a looser type of writing where our freedom to express emotion should be worth more than where we place our comma’s? Oh, the topics we see on the blog network. Sex with robots who are taking over the world….WHAT? Obama: What will he do next?….if I want to know I will check CNN, thanks.

Blogging has not been an everyday thing for me, for the last..oh we will say year or so. HOWEVER!!!, I would like to point out that this is somewhere for me to express MY opinions. I do not profess to have the knowledge of the universe or anything of the sort. I like to bitch, whine, complain, and also gush and love about good things too. Please, you journalistic high and mighties, do not take away my relaxable writing moments.

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