Tag Archives: translation

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Natural Stupidity

A comic strip character recently complained, “Artificial Intelligence isn’t as smart as it thinks it is.”
The blog-site name of one of my regular visitors is INGLANDIO.  My squirrel brain can only look at that for so long, before I just have to know what it means.  Despite a similarity in spelling, I doubted that it had any reference to England.  First I plugged it into Bing, because it’s attached to MSN.CA, my home page.

Here are all the results for inguinal; did you only want results for inglandio?
YES! Click
Here are all the results for inguinal, did you only want results for inglandio?
GAAH!!

People who searched for inglandio also searched for:
ingenio
linguine
duolingo
why is England called Britain  (The other three I understand.  This one bemuses me.)

So I gave it to Google – and got exactly the same page of unhelpful stupidity.  😳  I decided to try Google-Translate.  I thought the word was probably Italian, but I’ve been fooled before, so I clicked on “Detect Language.”  Translating – from English – to English – meaning – inglandio.  There is no English word, “inglandio!”

I clicked Translate Italian to English, and was finally rewarded with, “I am going to swell.” which the same translation program, in reverse, tells me is, ”Mi gonfierò.”  That sure is swell.  Now I’m popping blood-pressure pills from a Pez dispenser.  What a ridiculous, useless, unlikely, definition, there is probably an idiomatic connotation for the word, or name, so, Mister Linguine Inglandio, if you hear someone tapping at your website’s back door, it’s just me, searching for meaning.

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I implored Mr. Inglandio to elucidate, and he was kind enough to put me out of his misery.  First, you just take twice the square root of the split infinitive of a word that does not exist.  You add in some verbiage to simulate action.  Then you divide by the number of nosy inquisitive readers who question it – ONE – unity – just me.  You get a genuine imitation word that not only convinces readers that you can do it, but that you can do it in English.  The biggest reason that both AI and I had trouble was that I managed to misspell it as Inglandio – rather than Ingliando.  Poor old new Artificial Intelligence – it never stood a chance.  I know the feeling.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – M

I am always in awe of movie and television writers.  They must be like industrial spies, aware of the latest technology, almost before it exists, so that they can write it into scripts, and make the public aware of it.

In 1966, the bridge-crew of the Enterprise had wireless, electronic tablets, when most of us didn’t even have computers.  These later-to-be Ipads had beep-beep, flat surface pushbuttons that didn’t’ show up on my kitchen stove and microwave for another decade.

The year before, in a movie called Arabesque, a professor of Middle-Eastern languages, is kidnapped by the CIA, to translate a small note, written in Arabic script – because one sect is going to wipe out another sect.  (How things haven’t changed in 60 years!)

When he finally translates all of the nuances, the result makes sense – but it doesn’t make sense.  It’s as innocent as a recipe for hummus.  The secret, when it’s finally discovered and revealed is that one of the periods in the script has all of the information – IN ENGLISH – reduced 1000 times, through the optical science of

MICROGRAPHY

which is a division of STEGANOGRAPHY, the process of hiding things in plain sight.  The most common modern examples are benign computer files or messages, where secret information is added by making one small section denser.  First, you have to know TO look; then, you have to know WHERE TO LOOK.

I look forward to having you join me on Wednesday, for a new contest.

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I’m Rarely This Happy

WOW!!  I found two uncommon and interesting names on one drive home from the store.

After I followed the butthole of America, I passed a small work-truck that said INGOD Basement Restoration and Construction.

At first, I thought it might be English, and mean exactly what it said, or an Estonian name that means ‘left-handed,’ but research reveals that it’s a Romance-language-based name from the word ‘ingo,’ which means male ruler.  In Spanish, the male given name gained an I, and became Inigo.

My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my Father.  Prepare to die!

Closer to home, we followed a Sorrento, almost identical to mine, but from a dealership a hundred miles to the East, named Bessada KIA.  Spelled with one S, besada is an Egyptian word that means Arrakian sand-worm.  With two SS’es, Bessada is not merely Portuguese, but Brazilian Portuguese, and means ‘kissed.’

Eso beso

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’24 A To Z Challenge – R

RANT AND RAVE

About getting some

REST AND RECREATION

With lots of

ROCK AND ROLL

I discovered another pair of R&R twins – brothers from another mother, neither of them truly there.  The first is

RUACH

This is the Latin-alphabet transliteration of a Hebrew word which means (Holy) spirit, wind or breath.  Its partner today is the German word/name

RAUCH

As a word, it means smoke or fumes.  As a surname/nickname, it refers to a shaggy or unkempt person.  I found a Rauch Court (street) about a mile further up the old highway out of town from my place.  It is in what used to be a scenic little country village well-named Waldau, (which means ‘wooded,’ or ‘in the forest’) but which got swallowed up in our continuing urban expansion.  At least they left (most of) the trees.

Despite the opinions of some Bible-thumping God-botherers, I have found MEANING, but I still research a lot of meanings.  😀

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Super-Stitious Fibbing Friday

Because last week was also Friday the 13th  September, Pensitivity101 revisited 2019 and used those questions, so there may be some superstitious referrals here.

1. If flower seeds give us flowers and tomato seeds give us tomatoes, what does bird seed give us?

Well…. for a while, they gave us tweets.  Then some birdbrain came along, and Xed them all out.

2. How do you make a cat flap?

Run over it with a road grader.

3. Why is Friday 13th considered unlucky?

The Last Supper, with 13 diners, occurred on a Friday.  None of the others had any money, so poor Judas had to pay the tab out of his 30 pieces of silver.

4. When is the Witching Hour?

Whenever the Mother-outlaw in-law arrives, unannounced, unwanted, with her sacred herb, and her arcane language.

5. Are familiars always cats?

No, but I’ve known a couple of cats who were all too familiar.  I think one guy’s name must have been Hans.

6. Where did McDonald’s originate?

The punters at the OTB in Ipswich were growing tired of just fish and chips, or chicken curry, so a smart, skirt-wearing Scotsman from Dundee decided to open a nearby restaurant serving hot, ground-beef sandwiches on triple-decker buns.  He began with a small herd of Herefords that he ‘found’ two days before the local farmer lost them.  The rest is history franchising.

7. What was the first thing Sleeping Beauty said when roused from sleep by her prince?

Why, you don’t even look like Bill Cosby.

8. What’s the difference between a sink and a basin?

The one is about how little I care about the distinction.  The other is about how much I don’t care about the distinction.  For nothing, I’ll tell you that the local German surname ‘Basem’ originally referred to a resident of Basel, Switzerland.  I wash my hands of this prompt.

9. Why does the wind howl?

I don’t blame the wind for wanting to howl.  For millennia and eons, it’s been free to sweep across prairies and oceans.  Suddenly, there are forests of huge turbines, chopping, slicing and dicing, diverting and impeding it, all in the name of ‘free’ energy.  Perhaps though, if we put a couple of them up in front of the next Trump/Harris debate, the networks could broadcast for free.

10. Why do we say swinging the lead?

I was going to compose an interesting and amusing response for this, but then I thought, “Why bother??  I’ll just fake it.”

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Tardy Response To A Theme Prompt

What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?

When you know as little as I do, and forget much of it before I even get up from my computer chair, I am forever searching for something – often, several simultaneous somethings.

Sometimes, my online research is not just for the information, but also for some entertainment irritation.  When things have been going too smoothly, the wife has not been biting my ass, and my grip on reality’s throat is slipping, I resort to research.  It usually works.

Our chiropractor/massage therapy clinic is in a strip-mall.  To add a hearing-aid department, they moved two stores up, to a double-width unit. At our last visit, I noticed that the old unit now has a window sign that says, “Coming soon, El Tico Restaurant.”  I made a note to find out what ‘tico’ meant.  The next day’s paper had a local-interest story about a Costa Rican family who were the proprietors.

I went to Google Translate.  Across the top, there are the three languages that I’ve most recently looked at – usually French, Spanish, and German, and a spot that says, Detect Language.  I had been researching Hebrew, so the ‘Spanish’ had disappeared.  I clicked ‘detect language.’  I knew that ’el’ means ‘the,’ so I just typed in tico.
English detected
From English, translated to English, Tico = Tico

GNUNGA!!  I woke up on the wrong side of my patience this morning afternoon.  Don’t press your luck. No, it doesn’t!  ‘Tico” is a slang term for someone from Costa Rica.  English speakers occasionally say or write it, but it is not naturalized.  It’s still slang Spanish.

I clicked on ’Spanish’ and entered tico.
Spanish detected
From Spanish, translated to English, Tico = Tico

I don’t care if you are just an AI chatbot, I will slap you so hard that all your little 1’s and 0’s look like Ø’s!  I entered ‘el Tico.’  “The attic.”  Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place??!  It’s an ironic name for a strip-mall business with no second floor.

You should have heard the argument I had with Bing about “Cheap hotels in Uhrichsville,” over entries that were 50 and 75 miles away.  Or a “Cheap restaurant in Uhrichsville,” that had four “sittings” a night.  Perhaps in another post.  🙄

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Smitty’s Loose Change #24

The Grandson got to the supermarket nearest to me before I did.  As a New Year’s present, he brought me from the chute of their coin-counter, a Canadian quarter and nickel, an American quarter, two nickels, two dimes – one a 1946, worn flat and almost illegible, and a bronze?/brass? – It ain’t copper – a One something coin from Serbia.  I need to research it, to find what it is, and made from.  This is my first Serbian coin.  I have several from Croatia, but none from Serbia.

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I keep forgetting to work on my writing. I keep forgetting to write and submit my writing. Buy my books on Amazon.

I was going to, but I keep forgetting.  😮

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If u cud recomend me a book. wot wud u recomend?

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If you’re wearing a mask, why do you care if I’m not?  Yours works, doesn’t it?
If you’re sober, and I’m driving drunk, why do you care?  Your seatbelt and airbags work, don’t they?

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What part of your morning routine takes the longest?
Me: Deciding to get up.

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Other countries don’t think as we do, and their languages do not express themselves as we do.
The German surname Rosenthal is translated as Rose Valley.  English assumes that there is more than one rose in the valley.  German does not leave it to chance.  ‘Rosen” is plural.  The name more precisely/pedantically means “Valley of Roses.”

I recently opened a (Canadian) Chinese fortune cookie.  The English side said, “Your reputation is worth more than money.”  The French side said, “Your reputation is worth more than nice perfume.”

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I was recently offered ‘Dark Roast’ peanut butter, and jumped at the chance.  I wondered if it would be like dark roast coffee – a brighter, fuller flavor.  It is one chain’s ‘No-Name’ brand.  Would it be from the overcooked nuts at the bottom?  Nah.  It’s just promotion,, more lying advertising,  decent, un-homogenized peanut butter that needs the oil stirred back in prior to every use.

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I joined Linked-In because I thought that it was a social media thing, like WordPress, or Facebook.  I soon found that its main drive was an online networking group, helping people make connections, and find jobs.  Since I’m a dedicated, industrial-strength retiree who doesn’t want a job, nor can aid anyone else in getting one, I soon ignored it.

I recently received an invitation to add someone to my circle, Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada!  I didn’t do so, and a week later, I got another, identical request.  Is there an upcoming election that I haven’t heard about??!

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A I

Canadian translation – Eh?, Aye!

It has been said that, Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.  Fear not, ladies and gentlemen, both are being improved on a daily basis.

I recently turned on my computer.  It came up to MSN – my home page.  Beneath the search bar was a list of my recent search terms – including ‘asylum.’  No.  NO!  NO!  You lying bastard.  Asylum is not MY search term!  It’s yours.  I asked about the company, Alsym, and you presented me with a page on the word ‘asylum.’  I had to increase the search term to energy company, Alsym, before you would admit that it even existed.  You’re supposed to know more about it than me.  😳

In an online discussion about the ongoing war in the Ukraine, someone mentioned a similar occurrence in the European country of Georgia.  Instantly, some sweet young thing whose IQ numbers almost equaled her bra size protested.  “Georgia isn’t in Europe!  It’s a state in America.  Don’t you guys know anything??”

It’s hard to argue with that.  It is, indeed, a southern state in America…. however, it’s also a European nation near Turkey, named for an entirely different George.  Don’t you narrow-minded, isolationist, MAGA-hat rednecks know anything?

I recently read a story wherein the author had a small group of U S Federal Marshalls, tacked up, and ready to roll.  That sounded to me, like a shopping list on a corkboard, so I began to research.  It turns out that he actually intended to refer to their equipment like horse tack – bridle, reins, saddle, etc.

I wanted to explore the existence of the word ‘tacced’ – possessing or accoutered in tactical gear- armed forces, police, etc.  It seems that I am forever researching non-common, often recently-coined words, like klicks for kilometers, or mikes for minutes.  This is specialized language, not yet added to many dictionaries, so I approached Bing.

I typed in, ‘meaning word “tacced.”  I got back an entire page about the meaning of the word tagged, and a note saying/asking, this is the meaning of the word tagged.  Did you want only information about the word ‘tacced?’
“CLICK!”
Here’s an entire page about the meaning of the word tagged, did you want only information about the word tacced?  🙄

I was going to say, “And people wonder why I’m a Grumpy Old Dude,” but I don’t think there’s any question anymore.  👿

I watched a short YouTube video which seemed to be a portion of a Tik-Tok.  I came in, in the middle of a dispute between, what appeared to be a pretty Influencer, and a live female audience member.  The audience gal demanded
Why would you say that?  How can you make that claim??!
I read it in a book.
Yeah, right, you read a book? Name me ten books you’ve read!
(Strange request – pause thinking)
Name me ONE book you read!
I read Game of Thrones.
Now I know you’re lyin’, Bitch!  That’s a TV series.

White supremacists used to subject Blacks to (fake/biased) intelligence tests, to prevent them from voting.  I strongly suggest that we begin applying intelligence tests to folks like these, or it’s gonna be Trump In ’24!  😥

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’23 A To Z Challenge – E

The Sound of silence…. Music…. Language

Each language has its own sound – its own tempo – its own delivery.  Even if you don’t know what the foreign speaker is saying, you can often tell what language it is, simply by the sound of it.  Italian and Spanish sound like the machinegun chatter of chickadees on meth.  French sounds like the speaker is trying to evade being charged with child luring.  German sounds like someone is training a dog, and Russian seems spoken by a crew of cesspool cleaners.  I often know the area where an English native is from, just by the local accent.

Most languages don’t change much, or very quickly.  Spanish-speakers can read El Cid in the original, while Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, written at the same time, requires a translator.  English evolves, and its sound has changed over time.

It’s not just the new words, and the new meanings and usages of old words.  It’s that the world, and therefore the language, has grown larger, and more complex.  We have less time, to say more.  The construction is getting shorter, quicker, tighter, and wider, but not as deep.

A century ago, or two, we had the time – at least the privileged, educated,  upper crust – to converse and orate, using grandiloquent, polysyllabic words, often from Latin or Greek bases.  Those idyllic days are gone.  The grand old days of the unhurried Romance-era are long past.

I recently read a piece from another archaist like me – someone who likes to throw the occasional impressive antique usage in.  He used the word

EFTSOON

Soon after, before 950; Middle English eftsone,Old English eftsōna.See eft2, soon

While it was a sweet, caramel-sundae kind of word, we just don’t have the time for it anymore, in our fast-paced, frenetic lives.  The leisurely, imposing sound of it has been replaced by curt, businesslike words like ASAP, or stat.

The Good Old Days were only good for the cream of the social crop, but their relaxed, melodious language usage was pleasing to the ear.  Hurry back ASAP stat soon for another helping of blather.

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’22 A To Z Challenge – K

 

I went looking for sauerkraut, –I don’t know why.  I should be able to smell it – and found a Cabbage-Head instead.

I am sometimes sooo… happy that I am saddled with the simple name of Smith, when I research the meanings of other people’s.

A reader made me aware of surname.com, but it only concentrates on English, Scottish and Irish names.  Bing has become more reliable, offering results from several sites.  One of them often does the job.  I also rely on Google Translate, though it does have its drawbacks.

I recently ran into a new, female blogger, who had married a man by the name of Kohlhepp.  This is a rare German name that I had never run into, here in ex-Berlin, Ontario.  I had to look it up.  The biggest problem with Google Translate, is that it does so literally, word by word, rather than idiomatically, with the meaning of the entire phrase or clause.

When I entered Kohlhepp, I got back cabbage–jerk.  Now, does jerk mean a sharp tug, or is he the guy with the big desk in the corner office?  Another rare, local German name is Dreisinger.  I know that it means Three Singers – but which three?  The Magi??  Larry, Shemp and Moe??  A Christian-based name from a church choir??

I may snicker a bit to find that Kohlhepp is a cabbage harvester, but in Germany, that’s an important job.  Somebody gotta make all that sauerkraut.

Here in Canada, we have an up-and-coming Federal politician named Poilievre.  In French, pois are peas, and lievre is a form of ”lever,” which means to lift or raise.  If Tennessee Ernie Ford were still alive, he would Bless his little pea-pickin’ heart.