Archon has landed…

… In the big, electric recliner at home!

He’s still limited in what he is and is not allowed to do for now, but at least now he has the comfort (and quiet) of home now.  He has decreed that there will be plenty of rest planned for the time being, as well as attention paid to the animals that missed him. 😉

A serious thank you to everyone for your kindness and healing thoughts!

He plans to have his medical adventures written out for posting, as soon as he is able (he’s hoping for his usual Wednesday post, we shall see how things go).

LadyRyl

One-Liner Attitude

Greetings all,

Barring anything changing the plans at the last minute, I should be home sometime on Monday, Sept., 30th.

In the meantime, I am having LadyRyl leave you some comedy to brighten your Monday.

Archon  🙂

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I’m giving away free samples ….
… of my attitude today.

Let’s hear it for midwives….
….They really help people out.

If it weren’t for the gutter….
….my mind would be homeless.

If you’re trying to impress me with your vehicle….
….It better be a food truck.

I often wonder if the guy who came up with the term, “One-Hit Wonder”….
….came up with any other phrases.

I used to be in a band called The Palindromes….
….Our first hit was, If I Had A Hi-Fi.

Taco cat, backwards….
….is Taco cat.

Once formed a band called the Sewing Machines….
….Didn’t work out… couldn’t get a Singer.

I’m putting back together my band called ‘Bubble Wrap’….
….All we do is pop…

I was once in a band called “The Radiators.”….
….We were a warm-up act.

Don’t use boomerangs as drumsticks….
….or there will be re-percussions.

I was once in a band called The Hinges….
….We opened for The Doors

If you play an Ed Sheeran song backwards you’ll hear a message from Satan….
….Worse still, if you play it forwards you’ll hear Ed Sheeran.

I saw my neighbor stealing my socks off my wash line….
….I was going to confront him, but I got cold feet.

How much should you spend on a bottle of wine?….
….I don’t know – half an hour??

Potatoes make French fries, chips, and vodka….
….It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

If the number 666 is considered evil….
….Is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

My friend ate some pages from a bible….
…. and now he’s ill with psalmonella poisoning.

I just invented perfume made with Holy Water….
….Eau My God.

I was blessed with a 9-inch penis….
….That priest is in prison now.

In the Bible, Samson was a tough man….
….but his father, Samsonite, was a real hard case.

Hell’s Gate

hells gate

AKA – Book Review #13

Always distrustful of the Lowest-Common-Denominator effect, I have avoided reading many of literature’s Great Books.  While I reference ‘A Tree Grows in Brooklyn’, or ‘The Grapes of Wrath’, I have not actually read them.  Another book I have declined to read is ‘War and Peace.’

The first three hundred pages are a boring family lineage tree that makes the Utah Mormons look like amateurs. While epic in scale, the book then plods to a conclusion after almost 1200 pages.  I did read the 5000 page John Jakes’ Bicentennial Saga series, but that was eight 600/700 page books, over five years.

Especially since I have retired, I read to pass time as much as for the enjoyment of a good story. I recently filched a book from the library in the son’s room.  It’s a Science Fiction book that runs to 1208 pages, before a thirty page glossary of all the terms.  It’s a ‘War and Peace’ equivalent that took me almost a month to get through.

The Book – Hell’s Gate

The Authors – David Weber/Linda Evans

The Review –

Like War and Peace, this is an epic saga of two mighty empires, entire planets. They’re both ‘Earth’, although neither of them call themselves that.  This is a tale of parallel dimensional worlds.

About two hundred years ago, portals began appearing, which allowed them to travel to a string of other ‘Earths’ where everything except mankind exists. They have been mining the metals, cutting the lumber, and fishing the seas.

In one group, a minority have Psi powers. They can broadcast and receive thoughts, feel when someone is lying and ‘See’ territory miles away.  They have firearms.

The other side has learned to harness Galactic quantum energy, effectively creating magic. They can throw ball lightning, heal wounds, use crystals loaded with power like computers, and have bred Dragons.  They arm with crossbows, swords and axes for close combat.

The story begins when they arrive at the same alternate Earth, from opposite directions. Each group has 200 years of never seeing any other people.  Two startled scouts meet in a dark forest, and manage to shoot each other.  One crawls back to camp before dying.

Each is convinced the other started it, and the story follows the inevitability of war. Each planet has several nations, benevolent kingdoms and democratic empires.  The story traces the good guys trying to prevent destruction and death, and shows the countries, industries and individuals who cheat, betray and lie to cause war, for personal, group, and national advantages, on both sides.

While the action moves along steadily, there never seems to be any urgency or suspense in the story. It just plods along for the 1200 pages – and doesn’t come to an end.  The author and/or publisher seem intent on capturing readers with a serial.  I have checked out the next book.  I don’t like spoilers, and read a book from front to back, but I checked to see how long Hell Hath No Fury is.  It’s only 678 pages, and I unintentionally got a look at the last page – and it still doesn’t seem to be resolved.

It’s a great book for someone like me. It ate up a lot of spare time – not that I have a lot of ‘spare time’ sometimes.  You’ll have seen it in my yearly list of Books Read, and you’ll see its sequel, and possibly a review, next year – the good Lord willin’, an’ the creek don’t rise.   🙂

Flash Fiction #80

Memories

PHOTO PROMPT © Amy Reese

WHAT A DRAG IT IS GETTING OLD

Senility or Alzheimer’s aren’t necessarily the only causes of memory loss. Lots of times it’s just data overload.  Young folks have few memories, and they find them easy to access.  Old people have been piling up a lifeful of memories of successes, failures, and regrets, for years.

It’s like going to your Grandmother’s house, and climbing up to the attic. There are lots of interesting things up there, but there are also things like dust and spider webs.  It gets more and more overgrown, and less and less fun.

After a while, it just doesn’t seem worth the climb anymore.

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Daddy's Home

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Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story

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Click on the title to enjoy(?) the Rolling Stones’ ‘Mother’s Little Helpers.’