Mixed batch from Pensitivity101 last week, not all Easter related I might add!

1. Why do we have Easter Eggs?

Because we haven’t got a rise in our government retirement pension, and have to cheaply console ourselves somehow

2. What makes a Hot Cross Bun?

When the wife leaves her coffee mug warmer on my easy chair

3. Why do we have a bunny at Easter?

Because we’re getting older, and can’t eat an entire turkey, or ham

4. In which country did the Easter Bunny originate?

In a little Duchy that no longer exists, called Hopbrauberg.  It was between what became Germany, and Switzerland.  That’s why its national animal is still reproduced in chocolate.

5. How many decorative balls are conventionally on a Simnel cake?

I don’t care how decorative you think they are, pull your damned trousers up.

6.  What is a can?

The pisser in a disreputable pub

7.  What is a can-can?

Two pissers in a disreputable pub with pretentions of adequacy – one for both sexes – setters and pointers – but they’re both so small that the cockroaches are hunchbacked

8.  What is a cantaloupe?

It’s the new, hot, genetically-engineered pet.  It looks like a deer, but it’s the size of a Corgi.

9.  What is a canister?

It’s the honey-wagon company that empties the Port-A-Potties in the park.  Their trucks have a sign.
We empty cesspits
We fill swimming pools.
NOT THE SAME TRUCK

10. What is a candelabra?

An over-shoulder-boulder-holder with mood lighting