Tag Archives: technology

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25 A To Z Challenge – P

Why don’t you hear anything when a pterodactyl uses the washroom?
Because the P is silent

He has an itchy spot on his scales.
He thinks it might be Psoriasis.

BUT SERIOUSLY, FOLKS!

What is the oldest evidence of cancel-culture??  It may be

PALIMPSEST

a parchment or the like from which writing has been partially or completely erased to make room for another text.

Parchment (or vellum) was lamb or goatskin that could be written on.  Europeans didn’t have papyrus, made from river reeds.  Their writing materials were rare, and expensive.  None was just thrown away.  When the information was no longer needed, the ink was carefully scraped off, and new words were written on it.

This applied especially to competitors and enemies.  If a Catholic wrote something, a Protestant erased it and entered new dogma and tenets.  If a Frenchman inscribed something, an Englishman would scratch it off and issue a British decree.

The ink was never entirely removed.  A palimpsest is the information that can be seen under/beyond the new writing.  Researchers used to do it by eye, and with magnifying glasses.  New technology allows faint old ink to plainly stand out.  The now-clearly-visible writings have overturned and modified a few historical theories.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – M

I am always in awe of movie and television writers.  They must be like industrial spies, aware of the latest technology, almost before it exists, so that they can write it into scripts, and make the public aware of it.

In 1966, the bridge-crew of the Enterprise had wireless, electronic tablets, when most of us didn’t even have computers.  These later-to-be Ipads had beep-beep, flat surface pushbuttons that didn’t’ show up on my kitchen stove and microwave for another decade.

The year before, in a movie called Arabesque, a professor of Middle-Eastern languages, is kidnapped by the CIA, to translate a small note, written in Arabic script – because one sect is going to wipe out another sect.  (How things haven’t changed in 60 years!)

When he finally translates all of the nuances, the result makes sense – but it doesn’t make sense.  It’s as innocent as a recipe for hummus.  The secret, when it’s finally discovered and revealed is that one of the periods in the script has all of the information – IN ENGLISH – reduced 1000 times, through the optical science of

MICROGRAPHY

which is a division of STEGANOGRAPHY, the process of hiding things in plain sight.  The most common modern examples are benign computer files or messages, where secret information is added by making one small section denser.  First, you have to know TO look; then, you have to know WHERE TO LOOK.

I look forward to having you join me on Wednesday, for a new contest.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – G

The Department of Totally Useless Information

For today only (or as long as we can get away with it) is offering a

BOGO

A two-for-the-price-of none deal, just to empty out some over-stocked shelves, so that we can cram in some newer, Totally Useless, technological information, such as – that string theory and quantum mechanics are not coming together as quickly and smoothly as hoped.  We may have to dig Albert Einstein up, to moderate the dispute.

For your bewilderment and unwanted elucidation, we give you the beautiful twins

GLOTTOGONIST

AND

GLOTTOLONIST

Two men meet at a cocktail party in Washington, DC.  One asks the other, “So, what do you do for a living?  ”The other guy replies, “I’m a Naval Surgeon.”  “Damn!  You guys really specialize, don’t you?”

Both of these terms could also be described as a ‘Linguist.’  A glottologist is concerned with the meanings, synonyms, and present usages of words.  A glottogonist is concerned with etymology, the origin and development of word meanings.

File under #mosquito’s asshole and #whothef**kcares?

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’25 A To Z Challenge – B

What will you never hear a Millennial say??

BACK IN MY DAY…

I mean, what are they gonna say??!  Remember when flash-drives could only hold a MB of data, and they cost $100?  Now they can hold a terabyte of information, and they’re 3 for $9.99.

I’ve done a couple of these Back in my day/Remember when posts, to remind my older readers that the GOOD OLD DAYS weren’t all that good, and to show some of the younger ones what they’re lucky to have missed.

Social development, especially technological, is not linear.  It is more logarithmic.  It is not 1+1=2, 1+2=3. 1+3=4.  It is more like 1+2=3, 2+3=5, and 5+4=9.  As Isaac Newton said, If I have seen farther than others, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.  The slant of the bell curve gets steeper and steeper.

Change that used to take a century, and then a year, and then a month – now happens in a week.  I am proud of Canada, and especially my local Kitchener/Waterloo area, with its RIM Park, and a Google branch as big as its parent.  It can be a rough ride, and some people have a hard time holding on, but change is inevitable, and must be embraced.  I suppose that those who can’t hack it, can always be hewers of wood and drawers of water – and makers of MAGA hats.

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Familiar Fibbing Friday

A mixed bag from Pensitivity101 last week, my friends, some familiar words, but how would you define them?

1. What is a gigolo?

A very amusing comedian

2.  What is meant by paramount?

One of those amazing, three-wheeled racing wheelchairs used in the Special Olympics, capable of passing a Ferrari

3.  What is a scenario?

That’s what my mainly-Italian wife throws, if she doesn’t get her way in public.  Also see super-snit.

4.  How many fingers do fish have?

It depends on the size of the box

5.  What is a bell hop?

A pet bunny-rabbit, with a cat collar on it.

6.  Why do pets ‘shed’?

So that they can keep their grow-ops of magic mushrooms or Mary Juwanna unseen, in a little house behind the house.

7.  What is the difference between toilet tissue and toilet paper?

Mean household income.  Below these are newspaper, burdock leaves, and corn cobs.  Catalogue pages have become technologically obsolete.  It’s hard to wipe your butt with a PDF.

8.  What is a chalet?

A chav’s girlfriend

9.  What is a clog?

An obstruction in my nasal passages, whose removal can be assisted by the consumption of extra-spicy curry

10. Why can Lego™ be dangerous?

It can entice children away from lucrative, culturally impressive careers like Tik-Tok stars, or Social Influencers, into meaningless, dead-end positions in engineering or science.  😮

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Adams Fibbing Friday

Something a little different last week courtesy of Jim Adams who has been inventive in making up words and asks us to describe what these, if they existed, are or could be used for.

1) Antiplixen

With the increase in world population, Santa is considering using a larger sleigh, and adding two more reindeer to pull it.    To gauge public reaction, he set up an online survey.  Most people were okay with adding Meteor, but many were antiplixen.

2) Mortangru

Once upon a time, in the deep, dark forest, three men sat around a campfire.  Suddenly, from out of the dark, a voice said, “Mortangru.”  The man tending the fire said, “Bill, you still doing ‘shrooms?”

3) Clydearum

This is the much-favored adult beverage of sailors putting into the port at Newcastle.  Any further north, it’s Scotch Mist whiskey.

4) Monogrifrt

These are the perks enjoyed by those who support Donald Trump in his campaign.  They include outrageous amounts of money, power, and the occasional opportunity to grab them by the p%**y.

5) Ulangabop

Popular in the clubs, and at parties, this is a new dance from darkest Africa, which has finally replaced the Macarena.

6) Krixashobie

We’re sorry, but your application for citizenship and residency in Poland has been denied at this time.

7) Xgreapey

You apparently have ten thumbs, and they’re all on your left hand.  It’s a good thing that AI is making Spell-check and Autocorrect more powerful, or no-one would know what your hunt-and-peck gibberish meant.

8) Knobweg

This is a delightful, strong, but fine-tasting, limited-run dark ale, brewed in the cellar of the town hall of a little village in Slovenia…. Or is it Slovakia??

9) Betalafil

This is a technological obsolescent term that describes the short-term ascendancy of VHS tapes.  Yay streaming!!

10) Dvpslyaran

Dyslexia is a neural malfunction where sufferers mix up letters within words.  This is the slightly more powerful version, where entire words are misplaced and confused, like – A Freudian slip is where you say one thing, but mean your mother.

Pensitivity101 and I look forward to reading your inventiveness!

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These Are Some Of My Favorite…. Oxymorons

I added the prefix Oxy to the word morons, because I don’t want some Cancel Culture Cowboy, astride a big, white Woke to come riding in.  I always appreciate a good post about English usage – and misusage – but the language has subtle nuances, and sometimes we are presented with false dichotomies.  Let the rant begin.

Assistant supervisor

No contradiction here!  Most organizations have more than one person in charge.  Some of them have more authority than others and require a helper to administrate it.

New tradition

How many times does it take to qualify as a tradition??  Even if this is the first time, it is hoped and planned that this new Tradition will continue.

Original copy

The valuable, irreplaceable “original” is locked in a safe.  This is the authorized first copy, from which all other copies must be made, to prevent photocopy smudging.

Plastic glass

Several things are identified as (a) glass, including a magnifying glass, a mirror, and a drinking container.  All of them were originally made of glass, but technology marches on, and we need an adjective to point out the difference.

Uninvited guest

One does not require an invitation to become a guest.  If you allow an unexpected person into your home/wedding reception, they are your guest.

Highly depressed

As opposed to ‘mildly depressed.’  There is no disagreement here.  One word does not relate to the other.

Live Recording

For all the pirates who download digital copies of digital copies, of digital copies, this tape was made in a studio, when the artist(s) was there.

Authentic reproduction

This has to do with sales, and copyrights.  It is not the original, but it is produced by a licensed, authorized agent.

Partial ceasefire

Some do!  Some don’t!  There is less gunfire now than there was previously – partial, not total – what’s your problem??

Limited lifetime guarantee

Better expressed as Lifetime limited guarantee, the limits are on what is guaranteed, not the lifetime.

Elevated subway

When I go to downtown Toronto, I usually park at a mall, way out in the suburbs.  I take an escalator up 20 feet, and board a train which, within a block, plunges underground – an elevated subway.

Dry lake

It once had water.  It may again someday.  Lake:  a body of water, or something resembling it  Like a ‘damn lake’ instead of a ‘damned lake,’ a Dry lake is clearer vernacular than a Dried (or dried-up) lake.

True replica

See ‘Authentic Reproduction,’ above – it’s a “real fake!”

Forward lateral

The movement of something – usually a football – sideways, which unintentionally also results in forbidden forward movement.  Football rules cover it.  No need to throw a language flag also.

Standard options

Standard options are paint color and cup-holders.  Non-standard options include a xylophone, and ’60’s shag carpet.  They are available, with special orders and extra charges.

Old news

It was NEWs when we first heard it.  Now it’s just vernacular to indicate that we’ve heard it all before.

Small crowd

How many does it take to be a crowd??!  A tight group of 20 is certainly a smaller crowd than 2000.

Free gift

If it’s not free, then undoubtedly, it’s not a gift.  This is just redundant hyperbole marketing ad-speak.  Get used to it.  They lie to us all the time.  😳

Completely surround

Again, not an oxy, you moron.  This is an emphasis, guaranteeing no leakages.

Most unique

Every strangely-garbed, potential contestant on “Let’s Make A Deal” is unique – one-of-a-kind – but the guy in the full scuba suit, with the inverted ice cream cone smashed down on his head, is least like any of the others – Most unique!

Now that I’ve picked a bushel of nits, I think I’ll fry them in garlic butter, and serve them with some fava beans, and a nice Chianti.

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’23 A To Z Challenge – V

TECHNOLOGICAL OBSOLESCENCE

It’s a term to describe systems or ways of doing something that have changed significantly within living memory.

For centuries – millennia – change and progress inched forward.  Then, about 150 years ago, knowledge reached a critical mass, and technology soared.  Things like the telephone and the gramophone made it possible to store and conduct sound.  The telephone was electrical, while the gramophone started out as strictly mechanical.

A crank wound up a spring which ran a clockwork motor.  A needle at the end of an arm ran in a rotating, serrated groove.  The first examples were actually cylindrical.  Only later did flat discs become standard.  The sound was conducted up the arm, into a horn and out, to be heard by avid listeners.  Like some YouTube shorts, the sound level varied.  Some ‘records’ had deeper grooves, and the sound level could blast a small room.  Pieces of cloth were sometimes stuffed into the horn as a damper – a mute.  This is where the phrase, “Put a sock in it!” originated.  The best, and the best-known, brand of gramophone was the

VICTROLA

The Victor Talking Machine Company was an American recording company and phonograph manufacturer, incorporated in 1901. The company operated independently until it was purchased by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA) in 1929 and subsequently operated as the RCA Victor Division of the Radio Corporation of America.

Sound reproduction has gone from mechanical, to electric, to electronic, to digital.  We have come so far.  I wonder how much, and how soon, the future will change and improve it – neural??  We already have Smart Glasses, which transmit sound from the arms, into the bones near your ears.

Veni, Vidi, Victrola

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’23 A To Z Challenge – D

Don’t be a horse’s ass!  Use some horse sense.  Someone once decried steam locomotive trains, saying that travelling more than 40 MPH would drive people insane.  Sorry!!  They came in that way.

The 20th Century and the 21st have been a period of great, rapid, technological advancement and development.  Some people are able to keep with part, or all of it, better than others.  Bigots sometimes denigrate middle-Easterners, by calling them camel-riders.  That sometimes is a good idea – the camel-riding, not the name-calling.

A scientific expedition to research a geographic anomaly in the Sahara, hired a Bedouin guide who was reputed to know the desert well.  They loaded him in one of their jeeps, and tore off into the sand.  After a day of driving they stopped, and asked him where they were, and where their destination was.  He had no idea!!  He knew the desert by how long it took to get to any part of it, by camel.

Trafficking in stupidity!

There are waaayyyy too many car drivers who should be restricted to horse-drawn carts, pulled by

DOBBIN

a horse, especially a quiet, plodding horse for farm work or family use.

A horse would be smarter than many drivers.  I don’t drive much anymore, but I DO watch some “Idiots in Cars” YouTube videos.  A horse would get out of the way of a lot of these accidents.  I’ve bitched that some people don’t drive past the hood of their car.  The worst of them don’t drive past the end of their nose.  These are the ones who should take a bus, a cab, or an Uber.

Oh, the road lanes separate ahead, and there’s a concrete divider with buttress at the end.
I’ll just keep driving right into it.
I’m going so slow, that someone is making a left-turn in front of me.
I won’t bother to swerve to avert a collision, or put on the brakes.  I’ll just drive slowly right into them.

A small rancher in Wyoming rode his horse several miles into what passed for a small town one evening.  He hitched Lightning outside a roadhouse bar, and went in and got snozzled.  At closing time he managed to clamber back into the saddle, smacked the horse on the rump, ordered Home, and slumped over the saddle-horn.

Lightning was happy to head back home, where there was food, and water, and other horses, so off he trotted.  Just outside town, an ambitious, officious State Trooper pulled the pair over, and charged the rancher with drunk driving.  Sometimes it’s just best to pay the damned fine.  Sometimes it ain’t.

He went to court, and argued to the judge that his horse was not a motor-vehicle as defined by law.  Also, in his condition, he was not in care and control of his autonomous transport.  The judge agreed, and dismissed the charge, saying that he felt the horse was the smartest of the three.

Saddle up and ride back on Friday, to meet Lyin’ Brian, my evil Fibbing Friday twin.  😉

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’22 A To Z Challenge – Z

Our old mix-tapes had sides A and B.  It is only reasonable that their replacements should be CDs.

I used last year’s A To Z – Y post to babble about watching old black and white films on YouTube, an old and already, almost obsolete platform.  I thought I might close this year out by writing about an older system of watching even older moving pictures.  Ladies and gentlemen, Thomas Alva Edison Presents his fabulous

ZOETROPE

[ zoh-ee-trohp ]
a device for giving an illusion of motion, consisting of a slitted drum that, when whirled, shows a succession of images placed opposite the slits within the drum as one moving image.

ORIGIN OF ZOETROPE

1865–70; irregular <Greek zōḗ life + tropḗ turn

Western society has come so far, so fast, perhaps nowhere quite much as in Entertainment.  For centuries – millennia – a flickering candle was the zenith of amusement and attention-holding.  Technology has changed entertainment, particularly the visual arts – films, television, and videos.

A century ago, Lon Chaney – Senior – the great makeup genius and actor, played a Jekyll and Hyde type role in a film.  He walked around a ‘tree’ as Jekyll, altered nothing but the way he held his body and face, and came around the other side as the evil Hyde character.  Some women watching the movie actually fainted.  Play today’s Alien, or Predator, or even The Matrix, and we’d have the entire audience aswoon.

My attempts at entertainment are definitely spinning, and often best viewed through a narrow slit.  I’ve got to get out of this heavy white jacket.  I’ve got the month of April to put into motion.  😉