Tag Archives: logic
WTF One-Liners
How many teenage girls does it take to change a light bulb?….
….Whatever!
I have an entomology joke….
….but it clearly bugs everyone.
I retired when I started going blind….
….I just couldn’t see working any longer.
Have you played the updated kids game….
….I Spy With My Little I-Phone?
DRAMA, The word boring people use….
….to describe fun people.
I’m not saying that your perfume is too strong….
….I’m just saying that the canary was alive when you arrived.
I like older women, because they’ve got used to life’s disappointments….
….which means they are ready for me.
Life without women would be a pain in the ass….
….literally.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and asked if they were gay….
….They arrested me.
I think sex is better than logic….
….but I can’t prove it.
I’m at the age where….
….I can’t take anything with a grain of salt.
You know you’re getting old when….
….you can’t tell the difference between current band names, and typos.
What’s something you’re too old to do?….
….Give a shit.
The wife claims I turn everything she says to my advantage….
….I take that as a compliment.
Before I got married, I didn’t even know….
….there’s a wrong way to put milk back in the refrigerator.
I was an English major in college….
….in case there’s ever an emergency involving a comma.
Knock, knock….
….Who’s there?….
….To….
….To, who?….
….To whom.
I went to the world’s greatest psychic, and knocked on her door….
….She said, “Who is it?”
I admit that I live in the past….
….but only because the housing is so much cheaper.
Instead of saying “like,” I now say “such as”….
….because I such as to sound smart.
User: The word computer professionals use….
….when they mean, “Idiot!”
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?….
….Only one, but it takes eight visits.
Last week I spotted an albino Dalmatian….
….Seemed like the least I could do for him.
Religious Horseless Carriage
In order to attempt to justify their beliefs and faith, many Christian debaters make pre-suppositional claims that are the complete opposite of logic and observed reality.
With respect, his entire point on meaning is that Atheists cannot ground *their* sense of meaning in anything and therefore any sense of meaning is illusory. His argument is entirely that meaning must be grounded in something ultimate and, unless it is, it is ultimately meaningless. That strikes me as self-evidentially true and the Atheist must show how whatever subjective meaning they insist to be meaningful is, in fact, ultimately meaningful. There may be answers to that, but it is for Atheists to offer them. One cannot simply sneer one’s way out of answering.
“Meaning” doesn’t prove God. It would take the confirmed existence of a God, to prove meaning. My sense of meaning is grounded in what I think and feel. I can prove that I exist, and have opinions – which is more than the greatest winner of Hide and Seek can do.
Nobody was arguing that the ability to provide subjective meaning proves God exists though the argument being made was that subjective meaning is not ultimately grounded and so it is ultimately meaningless. It requires something ultimate to ground ultimate meaning otherwise it isn’t ultimate. Everybody recognizes your subjective sense of meaning is grounded in what you think and feel.
This author has no evidence for his claims, and simply insists that meaning in one’s life has to be “objective” to be worth anything. He has put the cart firmly before the horse, but sadly, I can still see the horse’s ass. If God cannot be shown to exist then, no matter how much he wants and needs an ‘ultimate’ ground for (his) morality, my/our ‘subjective’ one is the best there is.
Businessman/philosopher Charlie Kirk went to college and university campuses to debate with students. When he was discussing politics, education, or finance, his thoughts were clear and hard. When a subject like abortion or transgender led him into his Christian beliefs, an eighth-grade student could embarrass him.
Archeology has never proved the Bible wrong.
In 1000 pages, the Bible says a thousand different things – some good, some bad, many irrelevant. With the same degree of accuracy and truth, it could be said that Archeology has never proved Harry Potter wrong. We found this magical castle/campus, but it’s not Hogwarts. A negative cannot be proven.
I was in a bad place, but I gave myself to Jesus, and I turned my life around, and became a successful businessman.
No He Didn’t!! He gave himself to the belief in Jesus, and the placebo effect. He was told that if he did X, Y would occur. He did X, and Y occurred, but the two were not related. He was told that he needed a crutch, but never noticed that he accomplished it with his own strength and resolve, and never actually needed the crutch.

God Is A Failure
I just hope that God opens his eyes.
Pray that God will open whose eyes?? Kenneth Copeland’s??
He’s a famous, intensely popular, televangelist with a mega-church, and tens of thousands of followers and adherents. Are you implying that there are some people who preach the Bible, teach Christianity, and offer salvation, who are mistaken or lying??! 👿
We all know there is. Most of mainstream Christianity is nothing more than a bunch of well-seasoned snake oil salesmen, who trick poor needy people into financing their lifestyles. These hypocrites end up making it hard on others whose heart is truly desiring to help mankind. Thanks for stopping by.
Thank you for confirming what we all knew. The next time some Good Christian Apologist demands to know why I don’t believe in God, I will mention your name, and present this argument. If only there were a reliable way to tell the real from the fake, without having to rely on your fine-tuned intuition.
I am sure that Copeland did not mean it, the way it appears in the above image. He was responding to non-believers’ arguments that his God clearly appears to be a loser, with the rather circular argument that God could not be a loser, unless He admits that He is a loser. If He were real, He wouldn’t need the likes of Copeland, or anyone else, to defend, justify, or explain Him.
While Copeland managed to slip God’s name into this little quotation, it sounds more like a self-confidence building quote that a motivational speaker would use, to justify his fee.
Fee, fie, fo, fum. I smell the blood of another couple of Liars For Christ.
There is no portion of the text in that image which is the truth – except your sadistic delight in believing and spreading it.
Unless of course you believe the Bible is truth. Then you have to decide one way or the other. You either believe in hell and fear it, or you take a gamble with your self-learned knowledge that you have obtained through books from people just like yourself and hope and pray to whomever you pray to, that you’re right. Quite a gamble. What if you’re wrong?
What if you’re wrong, and face Allah, and the Muslim Hell??! It’s far worse than the Christian one. 😈
I do not believe that the Bible is truth. It contains some good things, and some true things. It also contains a disturbing amount of evil things, and false things, as well as many unproven claims. I do not pray – to, or for anything. I deal with reality as I experience it.
Humility goes a long way here…let’s see if there’s anyone who might be humble enough to admit that their beliefs are wrong.
It can be difficult – a strain – but I have, I do, and I would – only, not just because you claim they are. Besides humility, it takes honesty. 🙄
Have you read my article on blood clotting? It take overs (sic) 100 different processes to clot blood so the organism doesn’t bleed out. Kinda impossible for evolution to get all that right without millions of years of trial and error eh?
Nice non-sequitur! Pay no attention to that claim behind the curtain.
What do you think evolution is?? – other than millions of years of trial and error? And it didn’t start with a large, fully-developed creature like a deer, or a human, who would bleed out with the smallest nick. It started with microscopic life-forms with no circulation. They could not grow larger and more complex in the competition for survival, until genetic mutation solved each/all of those 100 processes, sequentially, before moving on.
Un/Covered
A Mennonite bonnet, a Muslim hijab: Why do many of us feel differently about them?
A Toronto, Muslim, assimilation-assisting group recently brought an assortment of hijabs, niqabs, and burkas, and installed them beside bonnets, caps and snoods, in the local Mennonite Museum, as a prompt for debate and discussion, with the above question.
As with so many other things, each of these sets is far more than what it merely appears to be, women’s head-coverings. Each of them is representative – a sort of visual shorthand – of an entire subculture. Here in Canada, we have had 200 years to accustom ourselves to what Mennonites are, peaceful, law-abiding and reserved.
Sadly, after 50 years of immigration, the same cannot be said of all Muslims. There is no Mennonite jihad – a drive to force the world to obey its tenets. There is no published agenda to establish a Mennonite Caliphate. Mennonites don’t put people in cages and drown them, or throw them off tall buildings, or burn them alive, or blow their heads off with explosive cord.
In many people’s minds, these actions and attitudes are represented – at least condoned – by these head coverings. If you come to Canada to be Canadian, don’t continue to wave the bullfighter’s red cape that reinforces the Us and Them stance, and expect to be accepted.
Like many Muslim women, Conservative Amish and Mennonite women wear an bonnet in obedience to the Biblical commands given in 1 Tim. 2:9-15, 1 Peter 3:1-6, and Titus 2:3-5 that a Christian woman should be discreet, chaste, modest, sober-minded, in subjection, (Emphasis mine) meek and quiet, and shamefaced.
A local Mennonite lady took offence at the printed statement that such headwear was a symbol of oppression. Her Op-Ed letter read, “I read with interest the article by the female columnist. I am a Mennonite woman who wears a head covering, and I was disappointed the real reason we wear them was not explained. Mennonites are Bible-believing Christians, and we believe the head-covering is a God-ordained requirement for a Christian woman.
I find it offensive that the Mennonite head covering is seen as a symbol of oppression. There may be some such cases, but I am convinced that the majority of Mennonite women feel very secure and protected, and not oppressed.
In society, it is perfectly acceptable for businesses to have people with different levels of authority, from CEOs, down to janitors. A business functions best this way and we believe that a marriage also functions best when we follow God’s pattern for it. This is for the man to have the leadership role, and the woman to be his helpmeet. My head covering is a symbol of that headship order. I find it unfortunate that the Mennonite woman’s head covering is so misunderstood.”
I don’t think that there’s much misunderstanding. This just an updated version of The Scarlet Letter. I feel badly for her. I respect her – just not her beliefs. From an objective, external viewpoint, this has all the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. She might be accepting, even happy, with the order of things in her (religious) life, but probably because she’s undergone the Stockholm Syndrome conditioning.. She may have been convinced, or convinced herself, that this mind-set is valid.

Only children’s bonnets may be bright and gay.
Those of mature women must be plain and drab.
Even if it were, like the displays of burkas, etc. just flaunt the I’m-better-than-you, Holier-Than-Thou belief, she’s setting up another Us vs. Them situation, and doing neither group much good.
***
Pi-Liners
In honor of Pi Day, here are three and one/seventh jokes about it.
An opinion without 3.14….
….Is just an onion
I know all the digits of Pi….
….Just not in order.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?….
….FAT! You get fat.
My wife is irrational, and her problems are never-ending….
….She was born on Pi day.
Why should you not start talking to Pi at a party?….
….Because it just goes on forever.
What do you get when you divide a jack-o-lantern by its circumference?….
….Pumpkin Pi.
What do you get when a bunch of sheep stand around in a circle?….
….Shepherd’s Pi.
Why did Pi fail its driving test?….
….It didn’t know when to stop.
The moon is not made of green cheese….
….It’s Pi in the sky
What’s the best way to visualize infinity?….
….With a Pi chart.
What TV show can help you grasp infinite numbers?….
….Magnum P.I.
What’s the ideal way to serve Pi?….
….Ala mode. Anything less is mean.
Don’t let advanced mathematics intimidate you….
….It’s as easy as Pi.
I’m very much like Pi….
….I could go on with this silly math humor forever.
The local pie shop almost never closes….
….It’s open 22/7.
I don’t know why people get so excited about Pi Day….
….It’s completely irrational.
Why is Pi lucky in romance?….
….Because its love is infinite, and non-repeating.
My math teacher watched Life Of Pi for the first time….
….She gave it 3.14 stars.
Why isn’t Pi on Twitter?….
….Because even 280 characters isn’t enough to express itself.
I can recite Pi….
….Apple, pecan, cherry, peach, blueberry.
The worst thing about getting hit in the face with Pi….
….Is that it never ends.
In honor of Pi day….
….I’m going to be irrational all day.
A survey says that Pi Day is the third-most under-rated holiday….
….I’m sure it’s a little more than that.
As I sit here eating my Pi Day pie, I’m also looking forward to Tau Day….
….Then my desserts will have come full circle.
They say that today is Pi day….
….But to me, it will always be cake day.
Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?….
….They are (0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9). There are no others.
What language should we speak on Pi Day?….
….Sine language.
What’s the difference between two 10” pizzas, and one 14” pizza?….
….One Pi.
A Pi compliment….
….My, you look radian today.
I tried to argue with the Priests of Pi….
….But they rely on circular logic.
3.14% of all sailors….
….Are Pi rates.
***
Nothing To Say About Christianity
Edison On Religion
Thomas Alva Edison:
…What I have denied and what my reason compels me to deny, is the existence of a Being throned above us as a god, directing our mundane affairs in detail, regarding us as individuals, punishing us, rewarding us as human judges might. When the churches learn to take this rational view of things, when they become true schools of ethics and stop teaching fables, they will be more effective than they are to-day… If they would turn all that ability to teaching this one thing – the fact that honesty is best, that selfishness and lies of any sort must surely fail to produce happiness – they would accomplish actual things.
Religious faiths and creeds have greatly hampered our development. They have absorbed and wasted some fine intellects. That creeds are getting to be less and less important to the average mind with every passing year is a good sign, I think, although I do not wish to talk about what is commonly called theology.
The criticisms which have been hurled at me have not worried me. A man cannot control his beliefs. If he is honest in his frank expression of them, that is all that can in justice be required of him. Professor Thomson and a thousand others do not in the least agree with me. His criticism of me, as I read it, charged that because I doubted the soul’s immortality, or ‘personality,’ as he called it, my mind must be abnormal, ‘pathological,’ in other, words, diseased…
I try to say exactly what I honestly believe to be the truth, and more than that no man can do. I honestly believe that creedists have built up a mighty structure of inaccuracy, based, curiously, on those fundamental truths which I, with every honest man, must not alone admit but earnestly acclaim.
I have been working on the same lines for many years. I have tried to go as far as possible toward the bottom of each subject I have studied. I have not reached my conclusions through study of traditions; I have reached them through the study of hard fact. I cannot see that unproved theories or sentiment should be permitted to have influence in the building of conviction upon matters so important. Science proves its theories or it rejects them. I have never seen the slightest scientific proof of the religious theories of heaven and hell, of future life for individuals, or of a personal God.
I earnestly believe that I am right; I cannot help believing as I do… I cannot accept as final any theory which is not provable. The theories of the theologians cannot be proved. Proof, proof! That is what I always have been after; that is what my mind requires before it can accept a theory as fact. Some things are provable, some things disprovable, some things are doubtful. All the problems which perplex us, now, will, soon or late, be solved, and solved beyond a question through scientific investigation.
The thing which most impresses me about theology is that it does not seem to be investigating. It seems to be asserting, merely, without actual study….Moral teaching is the thing we need most in this world, and many of these men could be great moral teachers if they would but give their whole time to it, and to scientific search for the rock-bottom truth, instead of wasting it upon expounding theories of theology which are not in the first place firmly based. What we need is search for fundamentals, not reiteration of traditions born in days when men knew even less than we do now.
’20 A To Z Challenge – Y
Here she is, ladies and gentlemen – this week’s featured artist, fresh from her tour of the Egotism Hilton, singing a medley of her greatest hit, ‘Here’s My Number, Call Me Maybe.’ or as the inattentive among us mondegreen, Here’s My Number, So Call Me Baby. 😯
CARLY RAE JEPSEN
That ain’t all we call you. As the band Sugarloaf says in their song Don’t Call Us, We got your number when you walked through the door. She joins a list of artists that Canadians have to apologize for inflicting on Americans, not quite beginning with William Shatner, but including Neil Yoda Young, Jim Carey, Celine Dion, Mike Meyers, Brent Butt, Alanis Morisette, Avril Lavigne, Mister Nickleback – Chad Kroeger, and Canada’s answer to McCauley Kulkin, Justin Bieber.
Carly Rae Jepsen (born November 21, 1985) is a Canadian singer, songwriter, and actress. Born and raised in Mission, British Columbia, Jepsen performed several lead roles in her high school’s musical productions and pursued musical theatre at the Canadian College of Performing Arts in Victoria, BC. After completing her studies, she relocated to Vancouver and later competed on the fifth season of Canadian Idol in 2007, placing third, in 2008.
Wait a minute!!? The old eyes (and memory) aren’t what they used to be. This post is supposed to be about a word beginning with the letter Y. A heartfelt Canadian apology! Sorry! It’s not supposed to be about Jepsen. It’s supposed to be about
YEPSEN
yepsen – the amount that can be held in two cupped hands
WHO IN HELL NEEDS/NEEDED SUCH AN AMOUNT??!
While I welcome and appreciate the accuracy and interlinked logic of the Metric System, it took me more than a few years to get used to it. I still mourn and bemoan the loss of the British Imperial System of measurement but – what were those guys smoking? It was more than idiosyncratic; it bordered on idiotic. They just made (sh)it up as they went along.
Three barleycorns, side by side was an inch. The length of a King’s foot became the ‘foot’ measurement. A yard, was from his nose to the tip of his outstretched arm, and the distance between the tips of two outstretched arms was the fathom. Everyone’s hands are different sizes, so everyone’s Yepsen was a different size. (Somehow, that sounds faintly pornographic.) 😯
In the 16th century the rod (5.5 yards, or 16.5 feet) was defined (as a learning device and not as a standard) as the length of the left feet of 16 men lined up heel to toe as they emerged from church, with variations from 9 to 28 feet. (Why must the measurement be taken after these good men attended church? Did their feet swell (or contract?) during service?)
There were several versions of the pound. Eventually, they coalesced down to the Troy Pound, which was used to weigh medicines and precious metals, and the Avoirdupois (French = have weight) Pound, which weighed everything else.
The Troy Pound weighs less than the Avoirdupois Pound. That screws up the silly old riddle, Which weighs more, a pound of gold, or a pound of feathers? Since gold is weighed in Troy, the pound of feathers actually weighs more.
In the past, there has been talk – before the medication kicked in – of Metric Days, consisting of an AM and a PM of 10 Metric hours each with 100 Metric minutes. A Metric week would have 10 days. This has not been one of my Seinfeld blogs, about nothing. It’s been a distraction post about something – anything – else. Fortunately, it’ll only be two standard Imperial days till I publish something less frivolous. If you’re out of therapy from worrying about those Metric days and weeks, stop by.
Proof – Of The Desperation Of Christian Apologists
You can not prove (or disprove) the existence of God through philosophy, logic, argumentation or debate.
Figures lie, and liars figure – and words, and those who wield them, are not much better.
I once had a mathematics professor who had some spare time after one lesson. He erased two blackboards. At the top of one, he wrote x = 1. He then wrote a simple binomial equation beneath it. Below that, he began to add factors – multiplying, dividing, squaring, till the seventh equation was fairly complex.
At the top of the next board, he began to solve and simplify – each equation becoming less complex, until the seventh line solved, to show that x = 2. 😕 I thought that I followed the sequence, and my buddy, the numbers nerd later assured me that I did – we all did. The teacher had just proved something that was observably false.
The Arguments For The Existence Of God
The Cosmological Argument: An argument for the existence of God based on the observation that, since every known thing in the universe has a cause, which can only be God.
The Moral Argument: An argument for the existence of God which reasons that there must be a God who is the source of man’s sense of right and wrong.
The Ontological Argument: An argument for the existence of God that begins with the idea of God as the greatest of beings that can be imagined. As such, the characteristic of existence must belong to such a being, since it is greater to exist than not to exist.
Teleological Argument: An argument for the existence of God which reasons that, since the universe exhibits evidence of order and design, there must be an intelligent and purposeful God who created it to function in this way.
The Cosmological Argument – every known thing in the universe
Mealy-mouthed, and weasel-words, which only prove a narrow mind, and a pile of assumptions and pre-suppositions.
It is possible that there are things within the Universe which have no cause. Just because they have not been observed does not prove them impossible or nonexistent, or limit the choice to ‘only God.’ It seems likely that the Universe itself has no cause. It floated about, apparently forever, in the timeless, spaceless Meta-verse that God is supposed to “exist” in. But the Universe is palpable, observable, malleable, and measurable, while God cannot be proved to exist beyond the hopes and faith of religious believers.
The Moral Argument:
Reason: to think or argue in a logical manner.
to form conclusions, judgments, or inferences from facts or premises.
to think through logically,
There doesn’t seem to be much in the way of ‘reasoning,’ ‘thinking,’ ‘logic,’ or ‘facts’ in this unproven claim. It denies Atheists’ claims that they are Good Without God, and ignores the observed fact that most Atheists are ‘good’ and moral, while many God-botherers fill prisons and divorce courts.
The Ontological Argument:
Like many Christian arguments, this one starts at the desired conclusion, and works backwards to somehow justify it. There is no suggestion, no evidence, much less Proof, that there is a “greatest being,” and even if there is, there is no indication that it is the Christian God. As the argument even says, it’s all based on imagination.
Teleological Argument:
Apophenia is the tendency to mistakenly perceive connections and meaning between unrelated things. The term was coined by psychiatrist Klaus Conrad in his 1958 publication on the beginning stages of schizophrenia. He defined it as “unmotivated seeing of connections accompanied by a specific feeling of abnormal meaningfulness”. He described the early stages of delusional thought as self-referential, over-interpretations of actual sensory perceptions, as opposed to hallucinations. Such meanings are entirely self-referential, solipsistic, and paranoid (Emphasis mine)—”being observed, spoken about, the object of eavesdropping, followed by strangers”. Pareidolia is a type of apophenia involving the perception of images or sounds in random stimuli..
It is considered poor form and bad manners to say that religious people are crazy, but it seems that portions of their delusional, unsupported beliefs, must fall within the parameters of the clinical definition.




























