Tag Archives: apologies

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Fibbing Friday #259

Definitions again last week. Pensitivity101’s apologies if she’s duplicated any as she uses different word sites. Some of these she borrowed from fellow bloggers.

1. Verisimilitude

Not really poetry, but an amazing imitation.

2. Grikes

These are those three-wheel pedaled vehicles that senior citizens use to get in the way of real traffic around with.

3. Clints

This is a retrospective of every Eastwood film ever made.  They contain more guns than the Russians in the Ukraine.

4. Kamenitza.

This was to be the squadron of Italian suicide pilots, in the Second World War.  They only got one volunteer, and even he didn’t go down in flames.  His name was Ernesto “Chicken” Cacciatore.

5. Rillenkaren

Double, double, toil and trouble.
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
She’s the Queen of a coven of entitled HOA bitches.

6. Cockalorum

This is a hot, steaming tureen full of cock-a-leekie soup, Scotland’s national dish, one of the reasons that Scottish men are men – even if some of them wear skirts.

7. Dongle

This is a nickname for any given Irishman, after taking on an evening’s normal pub rations.  They see snakes, faeries, unicorns, and leprechauns.  The Isle is not Enchanted.  They just have too much blood in their alcohol system.

8. Fartlek

Surprisingly – disappointingly – I do not hold the record for the rankest natural-gas producer in the house.  Cats eat protein, meat and/or meat by-products.  Dogs are opportunistic omnivores.  Our dog sometimes gets too many, and too varied, a selection of treats.  We recently found that she loves lettuce – beware while making a sandwich.  Occasionally, there’s a sharp little Thhbbpt noise where she’s lying, and she jumps up and looks around, offended.  Then the miasma wafts over.  A couple of times, it’s happened when she’s jumped up on the leg-support of my recliner, to join me in a nap.  That’ll wake me up!  😮

9. Folderol.

That’s me, after the wife has voluntold me to “help” with the laundry.  She holds a supervisory position.

10. Furphy

One dog, two cats, and three hairy humans in this house – it’s not dusty or dirty, but all that hair collects in visible windrows – in corners, at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the refrigerator.  I pick it up by the handful.  There’s no sense constantly vacuuming/hoovering.  Aside from being too lazy busy, in half an hour there’ll be another wad by the stove.

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Fibbing Friday Good For What Ails You

Last week Pensitivity’s questions were provided by Jim Adams. Thanks Jim.
These are all legitimate medications, but how would you describe them (does not have to be medicine)?

  1. Ciprofloxacin

The longest non-technical word in major dictionaries is flocci­nauci­nihili­pili­fication at 29 letters.  It is defined as “the act of estimating something as worthless.”  This word is its little brother – the Readers Digest condensed version that only refers to my inbred hillbilly neighbours.  They heard that 50% of automobile accidents occur within a mile of home – so they moved here instead.  Speaking of accidents – they must be referring to all their 9 kids.  No-one would have any of them intentionally.

  1. Domperidone

He was the drunken priest who invented champagne.

  1. Idebenone

This was my response, when the Mother-in-law asked how many would help organize their family picnic.

  1. Anakinra

That was Darth Vader’s twin sister.  It runs in the family.  The doctor told Little Lulu that, not only was she pregnant, and that she was having twins.  She laughed and laughed.  She knew she’d never been out on a double date in her life.

  1. Cisplatin

Dinnerware at a restaurant that doesn’t allow Trans diners, because they can’t afford to add a third washroom.

  1. Pancuronium

It’s the latest street scam – an inert, placebo pill – but the dealers claim that, “It’ll get you up.  It’ll get you down.  It’ll get you off!  For only $25 a hit.”  And they have gullible, repeat, satisfied customers.  Apparently there are only so many IQ points.  As the population increases, the average decreases.

  1. Xgeva

That’s the real name of the benevolent Nigerian prince.

  1. Dihydroergotamine

A Greek immigrant who won a lottery

  1. Bloxiverz

That’s when you ‘unfriend’ someone on Facebook, but they apologize, and you change your mind.

  1. Phosex

This is an immature, arrogant activity, indulged in by the likes of Anthony Weiner.  One little prick, sending women unwanted pictures of another little prick.

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Rosy Retrospective Fibbing Friday

Once upon a time, Pensitivity101’s theme was They don’t make them like that anymore.
You might be familiar with them, and her apologies for being biased towards the UK. but if you didn’t know what these were, what are your thoughts?

1.Mini Clubman

The first time my girlfriend saw me naked, she said, “Who are you going to satisfy with that??”  I replied, “Me!”  As David Niven once said, I’m not afraid to show my shortcomings.  Caution!  Objects in your imagination may be smaller in reality.

2.   Morris Minor

This is a constellation near Ursa Major, and Ursa Minor, but it’s not a bear.  It’s a hedgehog.

3.   Range Rover

That was “The Duke” John Wayne.  He has been replaced by Patrick Stewart.  Somehow, Pilgrim, it just ain’t the same.

4.   Hillman Imp

He’s the wee fellow who lives across the way.  Not a bad lad – not evil – but our neighbourhood’s version of Dennis the Menace – always into something – spraying the neighbour’s cat with a garden hose, if it climbs over the fence – making a battle-flag for his two-wheeler from his Dad’s golf club and his mom’s underwear.  How I envy him his freedom and fun.

5.   Datsun Violet

Nissan wanted to produce and market a low-priced car.  Soon they had plants, and equipment, and employees, and suppliers, and dealers ready.  What they didn’t have, was an advertising and promotion package, because the sales staff could not come up with a name that was agreed on.  With the deadline looming, a female marketing exec, whose Japanese name meant “Violet,” called a counterpart at Volkswagen for inspiration.  Und, how zoon do you need a name?  She answered, “By next Monday.”  Ach!  Datsun, Violet??

6.   Triumph Herald

Once upon a time, there was an Angel who could not sing in public.  God sent him to Heavenly counselling, to cure his shyness.  Now, Hark, the Herald Angel sings.  It is a triumph.

7.   Austin Cambridge

He was the 7th actor to portray Dr. Who.  He had a fantastic vehicle.  It got 1000 light-years to the gallon.

8.   Ford Capri

Capri pants are items of women’s wear that don’t reach the shoes – or even the ankles – by THAT much.  So, a Ford Capri is a vehicle that fails to be a real car – by just THAT much.

9.   Alfa Romeo

He’s “The Quicker Picker-Upper” down at the dance club.

10. Talbot Horizon

That’s the imaginary vista of freedoms that the Woke Brigade feels they should have – as long as it’s at someone else’s expense.  Today’s newspaper headlines – page one
Activist claims lowered speed limits in residential areas mean nothing without enforcement – page two
Police lay six speeding charges in school zone in one hour
wah, wah, gimme, gimme, I want, I want!  Don’t bother me with facts.  I’m busy being outraged.

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’23 A To Z Challenge – S

S S S S S S s s s s s s

That hissing sound that you hear is the all the inspiration and creativity, leaking out of my head.

Here follows a tale of woe – of procrastination and poor planning.

With two weeks of lead time, I didn’t have a Challenge post for the letter S ready for Monday.

With two additional days of lead time, I still didn’t have one ready for Wednesday, and refurbished an old joke I told five years ago.

When I dropped the TILWROT post on Monday, it was all about names/words, and their meanings.  It’s not good form to then follow it with yet another one about definitions and word history.  I should have chosen one more socially significant, to interest my readers.

I have lists of arcane and archaic words for each of the letters of the alphabet.  Usually, it’s easy to pick one, and wrap a little (his)story around it.  Not so this year, with the letter S.  I just couldn’t get inspired.  I had the following list.

Seemly
Sough
Sciential
Scientism
Somnolent
Stodgy
Stolid
Stultify
Saxatile

I thought I might do something with SAXATILE – living or growing on or among rocks or stones, but even Rocky Mountain spotted fever is more interesting and exciting.  Who wants to read a story about moss and lichens, although….

The ‘Manna” that is mentioned in the Bible has been found to be a quick-growing form of lichen – a symbiotic mixture of tiny algae vegetation, and small fungus.  It would grow on the warm desert sand overnight, and break down and vanish in the heat of the day.  See, no miracles involved.  😮

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’23 A To Z Challenge – R

My surname says that I am descended from a blacksmith.  I claim that my retirement avocation is as a wordsmith.  I thought that, for the letter R, I might introduce you to some of the less well-known members of the Smith clan, beginning with

REDSMITH

The term “redsmith” is used for a tinsmith that uses tinsmithing tools and techniques to make copper items.  Also see coppersmith. 

A tinsmith is a person who makes and repairs things made of tin or other light metals. The profession may sometimes also be known as a tinner, tinker, tinman, or tinplate worker; whitesmith may also refer to this profession.

A whitesmith is a metalworker who does finishing work on iron and steel such as filing, lathing, burnishing or polishing.  The term also refers to a person who works with “white” or light-colored metals, and is sometimes used as a synonym for tinsmith.

First, an apology to all my American readers.  A Canadian submitter to Wikipedia claims that whitesmith is the opposite of blacksmith.  We are sadly aware that Yobs with two-digit IQ levels reside north of the border also.  That’s like asking what the color of number 14 is.  There is no opposite of blacksmith!!  If there were, it wouldn’t be ‘whitesmith.’  The opposite of hard-working ‘blacksmith’ would be Cheeto-eating, MMRP-playing couch-potato.  Ya coulda just kept yer mouth shut, and people wouldn’t know that yer an idiot!

All us ‘Smiths’ are fabricators of something or other.  I better go finish fabricating a Wednesday post, before I have to fabricate an excuse why all the Cheetos and beer are gone.  CU then!  😎

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Give Us Barabbas

Beneath my What If? What If? What If? post, Barabbas himself became an Apologist For Jesus, and left this extended comment.

Allow me to apologize for my brothers. I believe God gives every person a choice to believe or not. I’m not responsible for your choice and though it saddens me, I must respect your choice. May God meet you where you are and draw you to Himself “with chords of kindness” not clever or manipulative arguments or threats of eternal punishment. Have a wonderful day and again, I apologize for my fellow Christians that may have pushed too hard and far without respecting your freedom. – Barabbas

One:  Do not apologize for others.  It only highlights their misdeeds, mistakes, and contradictions.  It also makes both of you appear weak and needy.  Be honest.  Only apologize for your own errors.

Two:  Do not ever label my disbelief as merely a choice!  Never have I suddenly just chosen to be a petulant, rebellious asshole.  My Atheism is as fundamentally part of my being as my gorgeous brown eyes.  I have been an Atheist longer than you have been alive.  I got that way, not through choices and options, but by observing Reality as it presents itself to me.  The reality is, I see no God/gods.

Three:  A little convincing evidence of the existence of your specific God, and that you are somehow privy to what He/She/It/They will and will not do, would be a lot more useful than your vaguely-expressed wish and hope that someday – somehow – your Reality-impaired pet entity, will finally show up to see me, and validate all your unproven assumptions.

There was a reason that saccharine was banned.  Your ‘all sweetness and light and love and kindness’ delivery is, perhaps, a little less grating than those Apologists who promise me Hell and eternal damnation if I don’t agree with them.  At least they have the courage of their convictions, and are not afraid to express them.  Yours is cloying, and sickly sweet.  I feel religious diabetes developing.

Four:  Are you in the church choir, or should the line read, “with cords of kindness”?  You promised me no tricks or threats, but that sounds suspiciously like church BDSM – a little God bondage.  😳

Five:  You must lead a sheltered life, if you think that Mr. Torpedo-Victim did more than ruffle my hair.  I have engaged with Bible-thumpers who would have him for breakfast.  I feared none of them on a philosophy and logic basis.  The only reason I have hung back from some, is the modern, technological concern about flaming, hacking and doxxing.  Some of those good, loving, Christians quickly forget that ‘turn the other cheek’ command, when their beliefs are refuted.

Online Christian debaters give me as much freedom as I give them.  I allow them every opportunity to make foolish, irrational claims, and they let me point out the errors in their arguments, and make fun of their presentations.  See, everybody has fun.  👿

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’22 A To Z Challenge – T

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my continuing program of offering as little useful information as possible, I present another little present from my Scottish heritage – not a Tartan, but a

TARTLE

Scottish dialect: a hesitation when introducing someone, because you forgot their name,
What does “pardon my tartle” mean?

From Scottish, it is also; to hesitate in recognizing a person or thing, as happens when you are introduced to someone whose name you cannot recall; so you say, “Pardon my tartle!”  They have you, coming, and going.

If you are wondering – as I do – where I get all this useless minutia, we can blame the wife’s Italian forebears.  The Romans had gods and goddesses for just about everything.  One of their lesser goddesses was

TRIVIA

Two roads diverged in the wood, and I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.

Trivia
Trivia, the Roman goddess of crossroads and guardian of roads. Her name is derived from the Latin word ‘Trivia’ meaning “three ways” from ‘tri’ meaning three and ‘via’ meaning way or road. In Latin, ‘trivialis’ appertained to the crossroads where three roads met, which came to be known, in towns, as the ‘trivium’, or the public place. As the guardian of roads, she watched over the public paths and roads and protected travelers. She was also recognized in three aspects as part of a triad of goddesses consisting of Trivia, Luna the moon goddess and Diana the goddess of the hunt.

While you rest your probably aching brain, I’ll get a little loony with Diana, and hunt up a theme for Wednesday’s post.

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Bonus Trivia

Where it says, “all this useless minutia,” above, Grammar Checker wants me to write, “this entire minutia,” which is not the same thing at all.  😛

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’22 A To Z Challenge – E

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everybody loves a good fart joke.  Well, there are some prudes who stick their noses in the air, and claim that they don’t, but if someone farts, having your nose up in the air is a good thing.

What would a cow’s fart smell like?  Dairy air.

This week’s word to ponder is

EFFLUVIUM

a slight or invisible exhalation or vapor, especially one that is disagreeable or noxious.
an unpleasant smell or exhalation, as of gaseous waste or decaying matter

The discussion forum, Quora, asked, “When was the most inappropriate time that you farted?”  A young female clerk had to enter the vault of a Fortune 500 company to get some forms.  Shortly after she entered, Mother Nature insisted that she vent some gas.  This wasn’t a lady-like little toot.  She didn’t remember eating anything that would cause it, but it was a blast that almost blew the gusset out of her pantyhose, and smelled like she’d eaten a dead skunk.

She thought, ‘At least I’m here alone.  There’ll be time for it to dissipate before anyone else comes in.’  The thought was still rattling around in her head, when the Vice-President entered.  She didn’t say a word, just put her head down, and walked out, hoping that the stress would prevent him from recognizing or identifying her.

A female comic once claimed that, “Women don’t sweat, and we don’t fart.  Hell!  If we didn’t bitch, we’d explode!”

Social convention says that, when a fart sneaks up on you and you’re with someone, or a group, you’re supposed to admit to it, and apologize.  If you feel one coming on, you are expected to move to a location with a lower population density.

One day, I rolled out of bed and immediately left the bedroom, down the hall, and back into the bathroom.  There, I did what lots of husbands do.  I ripped a BIG one – about three yards of sail canvas – F-f-f-f-a-a-a-a-r-r-r-t-t-t.  From 30 feet, a hallway, and a different room, away, I heard –Archon??!

Yes, Dear?
Well, you could apologize.
There is no-one here to smell it, that I might apologize to.
Well, you could go somewhere else to do that.
I am in the bathroom, with the exhaust fan on.  Where else would you suggest that I go??

Now she’s angry because I just proved that I need not do either one of two things that she feels are imperative.  It’s not like we have an HOA, or even a Neighborhood Decorum Committee which can assess fines.

A comedian once discussed farting and flying.  The average person farts about every half-hour – nothing major, just little toots.  By the end of an eight-hour flight, 250 passengers will have produced a total of 4000 farts.  It’s no wonder that the baby was crying.

An award was given to Ben Wilson of the University of British Columbia for his thesis on, “Sounds  Produced by Herring Bubble Release.”  Apparently, herring communicate by farting.

The average person’s output is about two cubic feet of gas per day.  Very early, NASA had to learn to develop filtration and compression systems for every space vehicle. With enough astronauts, and enough time, the pressure can rise high enough to cause a catastrophic blowout.

I am under no pressure to do anything but leave you with a wee chuckle.

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Apologizing For God

Instead of God having to apologize for some of the fools He’s created.

Let us pray for atheists to come to know our Lord.
Why??!  😯

Because as a Christian I want them to go to heaven.
The same question still applies, Why? What do you gain/How do you benefit?? The Bible says that God hardens the heart of some people, who refuse to accept Him. Would praying to change that, not be contrary to His divine plan?

So, let me get this straight: do you think that God hardens the hearts of people because they refuse to accept Him or that people refuse to accept Him because God hardens their hearts? Following that question, do you think there are some great sinners who eventually repent?
I don’t believe in (your) God, and I don’t believe that this ever happened, before, during or after.  I was just interested to see the size and shape of the wiggle-room religious escape hatch you would provide.  🙄

Then, what God do you believe in?
Ah, there’s that desperate, “You must believe in at least one God, so that we can prove it’s the wrong one.”
The All-Just and All-Forgiving God cannot exist.  The All-Just God would dole out punishments consistent with the severity of the crime – something the God of the Bible can’t seem to do – inflicting infinite punishment for the finite crime of merely not believing in Him.  The All-Forgiving God is not “just” because He has special treats and privileges, only for members of his somewhat exclusive group of sycophants.  It’s sort of like Oprah Winfrey giving free cars just to people who visit her live show – only, I actually have proof of people driving her cars, but I have no proof of anyone receiving everlasting life from God.

Atheists, and also many Christians, are in the habit of pulling one verse out of scripture and judging it on its own, very often out of context, and without any understanding of the whole. That never leads to the truth.
An example of this is Pharoah in Exodus. In Exodus 7:3 where God says: “3 But I myself shall make Pharaoh stubborn and shall perform many a sign and wonder in Egypt.”
But we see that Pharaoh’s heart is already hardened way before that. In Exodus 1: 22 we read: “22 Pharaoh then gave all his people this command: ‘Throw every new-born (Israelite) boy into the river, but let all the girls live.’”
A man’s heart is hardened by the sins he commits. The consequence of sins is to harden man’s heart. This is the sense in which God hardens man’s heart, by allowing the consequences of man’s actions to follow their course.
Great little excuse. I’m sure you believe it, despite providing a Bible quote that proves it wrong.

With all due respect, I seem to have given you a fairly detailed response and you have brushed it off as an excuse.
A detailed response does not constitute a valid answer.  Exodus 7:3 plainly states that God claims the responsibility, and clearly says that He shall make Pharaoh stubborn.  God does not use the excuse of free will, to allow Pharaoh to perform despicable acts which eventually coarsen and debase his soul.  This is not the same as “Hardening his heart,” which means to become or remain stubborn and/or obstinate, not accepting another’s opinion or desired course of action.  Anyone who would present that as an argument obviously knows neither Theology, nor proper English usage.

Show me a later context verse where God says, “You know that thing that I specifically said over there??!  I didn’t really mean it.”  BTW: You still haven’t given an answer to why you want Atheists to ‘know Jesus.’  I haven’t had my daily chuckle, so you might try to convince me that it’s strictly through religious altruism, and not to assuage the insecurity caused by people who won’t join your club.

You’re the last person I’d turn to understand scripture.
If I’m feeling sick, I go to the doctor. If my tooth aches, I go to the dentist. If I want to know something about the cosmos, I go to a cosmologist not to the Flat Earth Society. If I want to know something about God, I go to a theist, not an “A”theist. If I want to understand the Christian scriptures, I go to those who have the authority to interpret the Christian scriptures, not some deluded anti-Christian.

You just keep repeating that as long as it makes you feel good.

B.T.W.

I just realized that the graphic which I inserted at the top, might be construed by some, to be Atheist(s) refusing to accept proof of God.  It should only be regarded as someone refusing to accept the claim of the existence of God, without sufficiently convincing evidence.