Tag Archives: answers

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What An Ordinary Atheist Looks Like

(Spoiler alert – It’s Boring)

If your mental picture of an atheist includes anger, black clothing, constant arguments, or a bookshelf organized alphabetically by anti-religious authors, I’m about to disappoint you.

An ordinary atheist looks like… me. And I am painfully average.

I don’t wake up every morning celebrating the absence of God. There’s no ritual. No moment of smug reflection. I don’t stand at the window whispering, “Still no gods today.” I mostly wake up thinking about orange juice , knees that creak more than they used to, and whatever appointment I forgot to put on the calendar.

I’m married. Have been for a long time. My marriage didn’t require divine oversight to function, just patience, compromise, humor, and the occasional strategic silence. We didn’t need shared belief—just shared values and a willingness to grow up when it mattered.

I have a son. He’s grown now, functional, kind, and not secretly plotting the downfall of civilization despite being raised without religious instruction. Turns out teaching empathy, accountability, and curiosity works just fine without invoking eternal consequences.

I care about people. I care about fairness. I care about not being a jerk when no one’s watching—which, inconveniently, turns out to matter even without cosmic surveillance. Morality didn’t disappear when belief did; it just stopped outsourcing responsibility.

I don’t have all the answers. That’s not a bug—it’s the feature. I’m comfortable saying “I don’t know” without rushing to fill the silence with certainty. Mystery didn’t vanish when belief left; it just stopped pretending to be solved.

And no, I’m not angry at God. That would require believing there is one. I’m occasionally frustrated with how belief is used—to control, to silence, to oversimplify—but that’s a human problem, not a supernatural one.

Being an atheist didn’t turn me into something exotic or dangerous. It made me quieter. More cautious with claims. More appreciative of time. More aware that this life—messy, finite, unrepeatable—isn’t a rehearsal.

So if you’re looking for outrage, you won’t find it here.

If you’re looking for certainty, I can’t offer that either.

But if you’re curious what a normal, peaceful, belief-free life actually looks like—welcome. This is it.

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I could have written this myself – if I had a smidgen more ability.  Instead, I stole researched it wholesale from What an Ordinary Atheist Looks Like ‹ No Santa to No Gods ‹ Reader — WordPress.com

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Fibbing Friday #302

Pensitivty101 had some rerun fun with the questions last week.

1. What are florins, tanners and bobs?

Varietals of high-society marijuana that you can obtain at dispensaries

2. What is Dead Man’s Fingers?

Slow heart rate, and restricted blood circulation – If I lived in Britain, I could chill my own beer

3. What killed the Triffids?

Trump’s tariffs

4. What’s the difference between a buck and a quid?

The difference between a buck and a quid, is a little bit of cross-dressing, dahling!

5. How much is an old crown worth?

Being First In Line for 60 years – Boring
Dumping a beauty-contest winner, and marrying a horse – Got a letter from Freud
Finally getting to sit on the throne – Priceless

6. What can be known as a ‘Little Gem’?

Whatever it’s called, most men can’t find it, or don’t bother to stop and search.

7. What is pearl barley?


Rerun question??  Rerun answer!  I can be only so creative.
Alternate response – soup for supper

8. Finish the sentence: ‘I came, I saw, I………………..’

….did a gag about this, last week.

9. Who said ‘Smile, it enhances your face value’?

Benjamin Franklin

10. Where on the human body is the zygomatic bone found?

The zygomatic bone is harder to find than Waldo.  Let’s face it, I have no idea.

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Fibbing Friday #291

Mixed bag from Pensitivity101’s brain last week. Your definitions or insights on these please.

1. What is an heirloom?

It’s a valuable, antique, cloth-making device that I received from my Grandmother’s estate.

2. What is The Big Dipper?

That’s what I use to serve myself hot and sour soup, at the all-you-can-eat Chinese Buffet.  I tried carrying the whole samovar back to the table – but those damned things are hot.

3. What is a titfer? (Keep it family friendly remember!!)

I’ll have to put on my thinking cap to come up with an answer for that one.

4. What is a mud flap?

That’s the fuss that’s caused by a driver who doesn’t slow down, or move aside, near a puddle and a pedestrian.

5. What is a barrel roll?

It is how the local Oktoberfest is kicked off.  Not long after, we have over-enthusiastic tourists imitating the barrel – rolling along the gutter and spewing (used) beer.

6. Why did Polly want a cracker?

Because she promised to go blue-screen-free for 6 weeks, and isn’t getting any cookies/biscuits.

7. What is meant by ‘trip the light fantastic?’

It’s what could happen if you imbibe too much liquid Christmas cheer, try to decorate the tree, and tangle your  feet in all those #$*%& cords.

8. What is a diffuser?

A member of an elite military or police branch who safely neutralize and remove explosive devices

9. What is a valet?

It’s the upmarket product line being offered by Simca Motors.  People will purchase Hyundai Genesis, and Honda Acura, but no-one has been able to stop laughing long enough to buy one of these.

10. What is a noggin?

It’s the headache/hangover caused by absorbing too much Christmas rum and egg nog.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – E

Enervate, effulgence, encomium, eristic, exody, euphemism

So many useless, esoteric words that begin with the latter E, I think I’ll irritate some Buy-Bull Thumpers, and discuss

EPICENE

lacking the typical characteristics of a particular gender or sex;
flaccid; feeble; weak, sexless, effeminate, unmasculine.

For some people, ‘Attention to Detail’ just means how far they can stick their nose into someone else’s business.  If there were ever calm discussion about the subject, this could be the upscale word to describe transgenderism.

There is a California, First Amendment Auditor, who goes by the name ‘Chris.’  I don’t know if he’s a guy, trying to be a girl, or if she’s a gal, trying to be a guy.  It’s about 4’ 10”, in any direction, and exhibits the characteristics of a beach ball.

An approaching female police officer began a conversation with, ‘Can you explain what you’re doing here, sir…. Uh, Ma’am…….. Uh, what do I call you?’  The response was, “Good Citizen.”  This is a difficult word for religiously indoctrinated people, who have been taught to expect answers to every question – whether they are entitled to answers or not.  Sometimes the honest answer is, I don’t know.

I do know that there will be a Fibbing Friday post in a couple of days.  I look forward to seeing you there, when you can question my sanity and/or sense of humor.

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Daft Fibbing Friday

Daft questions from Pensitivity101’s own head last week (apologies for any that may sound familiar!)
Your silliness on these please!

1.  What is a Lover’s Knot?

Most religions tell you to love others.  The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.  After paramedics applied PAM oil-spray and a plastic pry bar, they started talking about using the Jaws of Life.  I say, just do what we do with the dogs.  Use the hose.  It’s amazing how much cold water can shrink certain parts of the anatomy.

2.  Where is the Milky Way?

Around any toddler learning to feed themselves breakfast.  Bobby Goldsboro’s son spilled sugar-drenched Rice Krispies in front of the coffee table in the den.  The mass dried and set into a diamond-hard, razor-sharp mass.  Bobby stubbed his left big toe into it for three stitches.

3.  What is a belly flop?

My post-surgery diet.  My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I put it out in front of me, where I could keep an eye on it.

4.  Why do they say ‘Break a leg’ before a performer goes on stage?

They’re hoping to move up a level, as the understudy.  Sir Lawrence Olivier once did a part in a small play, in a small, west-London theater.  During first rehearsal, he just phoned it in, but the star-struck toadies were busy congratulating him.  From the back of the hall came the voice of the janitor.  “Come on, Larry.  You can do better than that.”  Olivier admitted, I could, and I did!

5.  What is a goof ball?

Take your choice – or BOGO.

6.  What is two for his heels and one for his nob? (Remember: FAMILY FRIENDLY!!!!!)

It’s a sequence of moves in fighting… Right jab, left jab, then a hard uppercut with the right again.  Knocks ’em for a loop every time!

7. Why should every woman have a LBD?

So that they’ll have something to wear at their husband’s funeral, after he has a heart attack when he finds out how much money was paid for so little fabric.

8.  What is an updo?

When you have more followers on your social media than just your family and friends.

9. What do pearl, silverskin and button have in common?

Styles of dress at the local gay bar.  There’s also chain-link, for the BDSM crowd.

10. Why does the rain in Spain stay mainly in the plain?

Because there’s nothing fancy about Castilian precipitation

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Print Media Comedy

The editor of our local paper printed a headline that said: “Half of the City Council Are Crooks!” The city council sued the paper. The judge was sympathetic to the plaintiffs, and told the editor he’d have to print a retraction. The headline in the paper the next day said: “Half of the City Council Are Not Crooks!“

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A child goes up to their mom.
The child looks at their mom and asks, “Mommy, why are some of your hairs gray?”
A little embarrassed, the mother comes up with an explanation that would be easy for the child to understand saying, “Well, those are my sad hairs. Every time you make me feel sad, one of my hairs turns gray.”
“Oh,” the child responds thinking on the answer. After a moment, they look up and ask, “So what did you do to Grandma?”

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How Bad Is The Economy

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEOs are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Motel Six won’t leave the light on anymore.
A picture is now worth only 250 words.
They renamed Wall Street, “Wal-Mart Street.”
And finally – I called the Suicide Prevention Hotline, and got a call center in Pakistan.  When I told them that I was feeling suicidal, they got all excited, and asked me if I could drive a truck.

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I watched a guy carrying a screaming toddler across a parking lot.  When he saw me watching him he said, “He’s mine.  If I was going to steal one, it definitely wouldn’t be this little asshole.”

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A young turtle climbs slowly and with difficulty up a tree, past two birds on a branch. The turtle moves out onto a limb and then hurls himself into the air, waving his legs wildly. He crashes to the ground. Luckily, the ground is covered with brush and debris, so he is only stunned. After a few minutes, the turtle begins to slowly climb the tree again, past the two birds and out onto a limb. Again, he throws himself into the air and again crashes to earth. It takes the turtle a bit longer to recover this time, but he once more slowly climbs the tree. As he moves out into the limb, one bird turns to the other and says, “Honey, I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

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Timing Is Everything

WHAT TIME IS IT, MISTER WOLF??

I dunno, but it’s gonna be two days late – again.

There I was, peacefully napping at my computer, when somebody said Y!
Why,? I responded.  Because I’m dozy.
NO! Y, as in A To Z Challenge – the letter Y!
Oh, is that this month?  Like Pa Kettle used to say, “Gotta fix that – one of these days.”

Stop back again on Wednesday, and Yogi Bear, Yasmine Bleeth and I will have a semi-coherent post ready for you.

😎

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Rather Pointed One-Liners

I’m not a cactus expert….
….but I know a prick when I see one.

I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes….
….I’m even thinking of making a few more.

I was grilling a chicken last night….
….For the last time, why did you cross the road?

How to fall down the stairs:
Step 1
Step 2
Step 3
Step 6
Step 9
Step 12
Floor

When it comes to great sex….
….It’s not the meat.  It’s the tumidity.

A fool and his money….
….are never around when I need them.

I’m responsible for what I say….
….not what you understand.

I went to the paint store to get thinner….
….It didn’t work.

I knew the psychic was a phony….
….the moment she took my check.

The Institute of Unfinished Research has concluded that…
….6 out of 10 people

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician….
….You’ll never hear the end of it.

I was sitting in traffic the other day….
….Probably why I got run over.

I just saved a ton of money on Christmas presents….
….by discussing politics on social media.

Just got my doctor’s test back, and I’m quite disappointed….
….Turns out, I’ll never be a doctor.

I married my wife for her looks….
….but not the ones I’ve been getting recently.

I was going to do a post about anticlimaxes….
….but in the end, I didn’t.

Propaganda is when an Englishman….
….takes a good look at something.

I have a recurring dream….
….where I divide 10 by 3.

Knock, knock….
….Who’s there?….
….Granddad….
….QUICK!  STOP THE CREMATION!

I asked my girlfriend how she avoids clickbait….
….Her answer may shock you.

A man asks a librarian for a book about noise levels….
….She replies, “Sure, what volume would you like?”

I don’t believe in skeptics….

I wasn’t going to drink after my shift….
….then I worked my shift

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Definition Of Proof

You Atheists say that you don’t believe in God because there’s no good evidence.  What would you consider to be a good reason to believe?

The correct answer is, God knows, in both senses!

I don’t believe in ‘God’, because I don’t understand what God is, or what it means to even say that a God exists.  So, what I’m looking for is not only good reasons to believe that a god exists, but, first and foremost, a definition of a god, and an explanation of what it means to say that one exists, that I can recognize as coherent.

The more smart-ass Christian Apologists like to add the gotcha phrase – in the possibility of the existence of God.  To an honest interlocutor, I will admit that there is no way to prove 100% positively, that “God” does not exist, but these desperate Liars For Christ will seize upon that tiny, slim chance, and shout, “There, you see?  You really DO believe in God – at least a little bit!” when I really don’t.  If I get angry or frustrated with their silly claims and say “My God,” or “God damn,” they jump right back with, “See, you said My God, so that proves that you really do believe in Him.” completely missing the point that, even if I believed in A god – MY god – I still wouldn’t believe in their God.  If you don’t believe in God, who do you give thanks to on Thanksgiving?  “Thank” is an intransitive verb.  It does not require an object, certainly not “God.’

While such debaters think that they have posed a really smart question, it is in fact, quite silly and stupid.  If Atheists knew of a good reason to believe in God – THEY WOULD BELIEVE IN GOD.  The fact that they don’t, means that they have never been presented with a convincing reason.  It is not Atheists’ responsibility to do Apologists’ job, and it’s not our fault that Theists can’t.

Many Apologists reject “Science” as if it were an entity in itself, or a conspiracy theory, because it posits information which contradicts what their religion claims.

Science is certain of Nothing, and requires proof of everything!
Religion is certain of Everything, and requires proof of nothing!

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Different Kind Of Fibbing Friday

Time for something a little different from word definitions.
Pensitivit101 explored her archives and found some questions set by Teresa Grabs who was the originator of Fibbing Friday.
There are some gems so if any questions for March seem familiar, you can understand why!

  1. What did you find in the unopened can of mixed nuts?

Schrodinger’s cat.

  1. They just cancelled your favorite TV show – what do you do?

Start to rebuild your IQ level.  If Facebook and Twitter had burned down, we’d have some decent politicians and we wouldn’t be in this Brexit mess.

3. What is the answer to 3 Down?

Prevarication.

4. What do Scots wear under their kilts?

I wear Argyle socks and my Sgian Dubh, ‘cause I’m a sharp dresser.

5. How did the platypus get its name?

My So–So Great-Great-Grandfather bestowed that name on it.  At least witnesses at the time think that’s what he said.  Aside from being Scottish, his pronunciation was never the best because he was the official taste-tester at a whiskey distillery just outside Canberra.  Some folks said that he had a drinking problem, but his mates said he never had a problem drinking.  He died when he tripped, and drowned in a big vat of it.  When the foreman told his wife she said, “Ach, Robbie, ya ne’er stood a chance.”  The foreman replied, “Sure he did.  He got out three times to go to the loo.”

6. You find a treasure map – what is the treasure?

It’s peace and quiet on a small, independent, bucolic island in the Caribbean, named Tikoyya, where ‘Woke Society’ has been declared a terrorist organization, and local ordinances forbid the import or possession of any of those Snapgram/Instabook/Facechat thingies.

7. They are making a movie of your life – what is the biggest whopper they invent?

Wanting to make me appear rustic and pastoral, they claimed that I was born in a log cabin.  I was born in the woods, to an old Momma wildcat, and didn’t build that cabin until I was almost three.

8. Bollocks doesn’t mean what Americans think it does…what does it really mean?

The problem is not with the meaning of the word.  The problem is with the idea of Americans – THINKING!  😳

9. What did you give the last person who asked you for a tip?

I said, don’t bet on the Eagles in the Super Bowl, and don’t take any wooden nickels.  I will safely take them off your hands because I’m a numismatist, although I’ve never been charged or convicted.  It just means that I’m a coin collector.

10. What is over the next hill?

Sisyphus, pushing a huge rock.  His shift is over, and I’ve come to relieve him.