Tag Archives: families

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Remember The Alamo, Too

Remember the Somme!  Remember D-Day!  Remember Korea!  Remember Iraq!  Remember Afghanistan!  And while you’re at it, remember the brave, selfless members of the Armed Forces who have put themselves in harm’s way, in the past and the present, so that you can peacefully celebrate their bravery and sacrifice.

November 11th is almost upon us.  Here in Canada it is known as Remembrance Day.  In the U.S. it is known as Veterans Day.  Other countries have different names for it, but it’s all the same thing.

Despite the somewhat twisted outlook of some anti-war protesters, this Day, and our reverence and respect for it, and the people it represents, are not an acceptance or celebration of war.  Rather, it is the celebration of the end of one of the largest, deadliest conflicts the world has seen, and an ongoing prayer that we might see the end of all such conflicts.

Some peace-lovers denigrate the military, but even the most devout of pacifists should remember that wolves and coyotes exist.  The peaceful shepherd employs a sheep-dog or two to remind them that they have to get past some hired fangs, to get to the lambs.

I hate war and conflict as much as any peacenik.  I devoutly wish it did not exist.  If you also hate war, good for you.  But remember, and honor, those in the past, and those who continue in the present, to give so much, so that we all may have so much, in peace!

I was going to proceed with Remembrance Day, and Poppy trivia, but that just takes away from the importance of the central theme.  Wear a Poppy, with pride and appreciation.  Attend a cenotaph ceremony, or at least watch one on television.  Hug a Veteran, gently, or salute one, or at least thank one, for going in harm’s way, that we might continue to enjoy our peaceful lifestyle.

Remember the Maine!  Remember Pearl Harbor!  Remember Dieppe!  Remember your safe and happy family.  Remember the cost to our protectors, and their families.  The American Thanksgiving Day is coming, remember to be thankful to those who ensure that we can celebrate it.

Remember to observe two minutes of soberly contemplative silence, Tuesday morning at 11:00 AM, and

SALUTE

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Lest We Forget/Nevermore

REMEMBER

 Remember that tomorrow is Remembrance Day, or Veterans’ Day in the US, if Canada is too boring to remember.  Remember to wear a poppy, if it’s available to you.  I’ve remembered to wear mine for about three weeks.  Remember that this day is not about the wars that have been fought, but the peace that has been achieved.

Remember the Alamo.  Remember the Maine.  Remember that much of the world, especially here in North America, lives safely, stably, happily, and prosperously.  Remember that, all it takes for evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing.  Remember the members of the Armed Forces, present and past, who have refused to do nothing, and have put themselves in harm’s way, to ensure that we live as we do.

Remember to thank a Service-Person today (and every day).  Remember to shake his or her hand.  Remember to give a hug, if it’s appropriate and welcomed.  Remember to face the flag, and stand quietly and respectfully at 11:00 AM.  Remember that they volunteered to put themselves in harm’s way, so that we wouldn’t be.  It’s the least you can do.

Remember the sacrifices that others have made, that we might have what we do.  Remember those who have lost lives and limbs, and mental and emotional well-being, careers, education and even families, for us and ours.

Remember that a man wearing a helmet and defending our country, is worth more than a man wearing a helmet and defending a football – and should be paid accordingly, but sadly, is not.

Remember that the Canadian Thanksgiving is just past, and the American Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  Remember to take all the things you’re thankful for and understand that those in uniform ensure that we have most of them.

Remember that the Armed Forces are like insurance.  You don’t want to use it, but it’s very nice to have when you must.  If only the American Congress and Canadian Federal Parliament could remember to play nice with others and remember to pay this vital and respected group.

Remember….sshhh, it will soon be 11:00 AM.  Remember what I told you, and stand quietly, respectfully, at attention, for two minutes.  I will.  I’ll be watching, and I’ll be back in a couple of days.

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Sweet Sixteen Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 may be worried that, if she puts up an electrified fence or landmines, she might injure a dog.  She sent me the following list of prompts to lie, by special courier, in a Hazardous Waste container.

  1. Why is St. Valentine’s Day observed on February 14th?

Because it comes right before Family Day on Feb. 15th and there’s nothing that causes more families than all that romantic snuggling the day before.

  1. According to legend, what is supposed to happen if a groundhog sees his shadow on February 2nd?

That means that Russia has invaded the Ukraine, and somebody has set off a nuke.  Anyone inside the radiation radius only has a few days till their hair falls out.  The guys decide to eat, drink, and make merry Mary, but Mary got mad and went home, so they jumped for Joy, and she left too.

  1. Whether you call it Mardi Gras or Pancake Day, what is the day after “Fat Tuesday” called?

It is named Contest Day, when my wife and the Catholic Church strive to see who can take away more of my life’s enjoyments.
The young couple got married, drove to Niagara Falls, and registered at a honeymoon hotel.  They peeled off their clothes and tumbled into bed – where he rolled away from her, and seemed ready to go to sleep.  She said, “Honey, we just got married.  Aren’t we going to have sex??”  He replied, “I can’t.  It’s Lent.”  She said, “To who??!  And for how long?”

  1. What does Presidents Day commemorate?

The fact that great past leaders have become less important and memorable than sales on sheets, pillowcases and blankets at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  We have nothing to fear but…. that Wal-Mart may price-match.  Ask not what your country can do for you…. besides providing 200 thread-count Percale sheets and eider comforters.

  1. What is the story of Beauty & the Beast about really?

It’s about two acts too long – really!  It’s part of a series of psychological conditioning books that prepare you for the Bible.  The Sleeping Beauty story gets you to accept the idea of the Magic Apple.   If you believe in talking dishes and lamps in this tale, you’re ready to believe in talking snakes and donkeys, and a loud, obnoxious dictator character with anger-management problems, who holds people against their will and torments them, but He will love them…. If only they obey and love Him first.

  1. What allows Peter Pan to fly?

It’s not the FAA, the TSA, or Strategic Air Command.  They only let Santa Claus invade airspace.  I think that it might be the amount of meth that he tweaks, and the fact that he won’t stay in rehab.  …and you see fairies, and pirates, and crocodiles, and alarm clocks??!  Sure you do!  Here, try on this special jacket while we try to get you officially committed.

  1. Why did the princess kiss the frog?

She thought that doing it a second time might get rid of those genital warts.  😳

  1. What is Pinocchio about?

After Sleeping Beauty, and Beauty and the Beast, it’s the third in the series of children’s mental formative books.  Thou shalt be forever manipulated by an invisible string-puller, and….  Thou shalt not bear false witness.  Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain.  Thou shalt not steal.  Thou shalt not covet.  Thou shalt obey Big Brother – even when he is Father O’Grady.

  1. Why did Little Boy Blue need to blow his horn?

Because the inattentive idiot ahead of him was texting while driving, and got so distracted that he failed to move when the traffic-light went green.  It didn’t work, so Little Boy Blue called his dad, the Man In Blue, who rushed over, wailed his siren, and gave the Facebook updater two $300 tickets for obstructing traffic, and unsafe operation.

  1. Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill?

Supposedly, to fetch a pail of water – but water runs downhill – you’d fetch it from the bottom.  I think that it was so that they could book a room with cash in the No-Tell Motel, which is right next to The Stag Shop, where they picked up some edible panties, K-Y lubricant, and a couple of Adult Toys.  😯

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My Sister F**ked My Sex Life

While the rest of my cohort were learning about social intercourse – getting a little grope and grab, having a bit of slap and tickle – I was being press-ganged, almost every Friday and Saturday night, into babysitting for my sister.

From the time I turned twelve, until I turned sixteen and got a real girlfriend, I was voluntold to take care of her five young children on weekends.  Wed far too young, she married a country-born party guy.  He was raised on a farm, a mile and a half off the main highway, seven and a half miles out of town, before the turn-off to his place.

Back before marijuana was invented, alcohol was the drug of choice.  He had a circle of friends that he’d partied with, and even after he got married and sired five children, he still wanted to go drinking with them, and she, eagerly, wanted to go along.

I would show up at their house about nine o’clock.  Theoretically, the kids would be in bed, hopefully asleep.  The pair would leave, and we were on our own till some time the next day.  It is just as well that they did not try to drive home drunk, late at night, but that was not a rational decision.

The parties lasted until they ran out of booze, or the last drinker passed out in a chair or on the couch.  They would get a bit of sleep, and return home, semi-sober, some time the next day.  The record was a Sunday where I dressed and fed the kids breakfast, and later lunch, and their parents, missing for 15 hours, wandered in at two PM.

One Sunday morning they were driving home, and they passed a county road sign that said

SPEED
30
MILES

Hungover-ly claiming that meant that he should speed for 30 miles, he jammed his foot down on the accelerator.  Soon, they were flying down a gravel county road at 75/80 MPH.  Suddenly they came over a small rise, 100 yards from a T-intersection with the highway, on a road he should have known like the back of his hand.

He slammed on the brakes, but slid right across the highway which was fortunately almost empty, because church was still in session.  They slid down into a shallow ditch, and slammed into the far bank.  He bent the heavy steel front bumper on the car, and the windshield popped out and flew into the long grass – unbroken.  He stowed it in the back seat, and had it re-installed the next day.

I was supposed to be paid 35 cents an hour for my services.  A normal night/morning should have got me five dollars.  He earned twice what my father did, but my reward was often whatever change he had left in his pocket.

They lived in a lovely house, but it was beside the plywood plant where he was the accountant, in a commercial neighborhood.  Their nearest neighbors had five teenage boys, all known to police.  The man who lived on the street behind them was a known pedophile voyeur.  I quietly stepped into the three girls’ bedroom one night, to pet a cat on the window sill, and caught him peering in the window.

The area was populated by three families who interbred back and forth, till the average IQ was about 90.  They didn’t need a babysitter so much as an armed guard.  With five young children at home, I can sort of understand their need to get away for a while.  Month after month – year after year, this dedicated partying pair left five small children in the care of a young teen boy.  I did what I could, but I got screwed, when I could have been out getting laid.

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’20 A To Z Challenge – A

A To Z ChallengeLetter A

 

One of my beloved family members told me to stop procrastinating, and get writing on this blog-post, but I don’t procrastinate. With thanx to Jim for making me aware of it, I’ll start this year’s series from a dead stop, with the word

ANOSOGNOSIA

Anosognosia is a neurological deficit in self-awareness, a condition in which a person with a disability is unaware or in denial of its existence. Like most other medical conditions, there is a minimum threshold value which must be reached before a doctor will officially diagnose this problem.

That doesn’t mean that people in your life don’t suffer from it to some degree, while we have to suffer because of it. Whether it’s the wife/husband that you happen to be married to, or the idiot in the next cubicle at work, they’re all a Little Miss Can’t-Be-Wrong.  They can’t be in error! You must be mistaken.

I was going to suggest meditation for recovery of calmness, but the last time I meditated, by the time I was finished, I had amassed a significant list of, mainly undetectable, methods of murder removing the problem: eye drops in the coffee, rat poison in the doughnut in the break room fridge, which I knew he’d steal, a shoelace garrotte, a computer power-bar that just happened to short out. Perhaps you should just leave the meditation alone.

I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong. I thought that I was wrong once, but I was mistaken. There’s nothing wrong with you showing up again in a couple of days. I’m all right with that. 😀