Last week Pensitivity101 pinched some quotes from famous people.  Who do you think said these?

1. “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
That was my favourite Scotsman, Sir Thomas Sean Connery, who once said of women, “Sometimes they just need a little slap.”

2. “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.”

That was Richard Mattel.  Of course, he was referring to a ‘Barbie’s Magic Playhouse.’  His taste in partners got younger, as he got older.  😮

3. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”
The wife often says that, but assures me that she’s not referring to me.

4. “If you are not yelling at your kids, you are not spending enough time with them.”
That was actress Joan Crawford, when she was explaining about ‘No Wire Hangers!!’  I don’t yell at my kids.  I use sign language – often involving only one middle finger.  They can’t hear me over the racket of their own ruckus, and would just ignore me, even if they could hear me.

5. “Anybody who tells you money can’t buy happiness, never had any.”
I couldn’t research this, because I didn’t know whether it was the happiness, or the money, that they, “never had any.”  My own poverty assures me a certain degree of peace, quiet, and happiness.  As an impoverished, recluse loner, I am seldom bothered by Nigerian Princes, pyramid schemes, or condominium scams.  My phone only rings with Paki duct-cleaners.  They know that I have dust.  It falls out of my wallet.

6. “Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
I believe that was the Octomom.  She’s up to 14 kids now.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

7. “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Any – or all – of the Kardashians….  No, wait…. It was Taylor Swift.

8. “Man is the only animal that blushes—or needs to.”
See number 1!  Connery could probably have lived another ten years, if he’d just kept his mouth shut about his BDSM tendencies.

9. “Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It’s cheaper.”
Charlie – (Excuse me) Charles Dow, who co-founded Dow-Jones in 1896.  He was the American, financial equivalent to a British Baronet.  As the James Bond movie, Casino Royale said, an inferior sort of title.

10. “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.”
I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.  How successful can some idiot be, who can’t even count??!  If you fall down nine times, you can only get up nine times, no matter how inspirational the quote is.