Tag Archives: bitcoins

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Alphabetic Fibbing Friday

Last week, Pensitivity101 said that it was time for an A B C.
Definitions for these words please (but your responses can start with any letter):

1. Abomasum

I just didn’t have the stomach to dream up a silly definition for this word.  It’s not like I’m some dumb cow, just delivering on demand.

2. Absquatulate

That’s the workout procedure that the wife is trying to get me to do.  My idea of exercise is a good, brisk sit.  ”Overweight” is what hangs past my belt.

3. Amphisbaena

This is a child’s – and sometimes adults’ – unreasonable aversion to taking a bath.

4. Antimacassar

Composed mostly of wives who are not allowed to accompany their husbands to the pub, this is an action group which is trying to prevent Scottish men from making drunken fools of themselves.  😮  As if!  Might as well try to legislate that the sky is green.

5. Atingle

The wife claims that I’m not a very good DIY electrician.  Well, she’s in for a shock.

6. Bailiwick

Bailiwick is the brand name of the pail-sized citronella candles that Canadian campers use to ward of backwoods mosquitoes that are big enough to molest seagulls.

7. Bafflegab

Any of Donald Trump’s speeches or Tweets.  (Do we call them Xs now??)  Comprestand??!  Covfefe!  😮

8. Calliope

This is a stew from Kenya, which the wife discovered the recipe for. It’s delicious, but a little difficult to get the gnu meat for.

9. Cornucopia

That’s the college that the wife’s podiatrist went to.

10. Cryptozoology

This is the modern collection of the strange and weird, NFT, digital, online creatures.  You have to pay with Bitcoin, to be allowed to view them.

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So, what are you doing for Easter??

Oh, just hangin’ around.

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Birds Of A Feather Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 says that the following are all birds, but asks, if you didn’t know that, what would you say these words meant?  At her behest, I’m going to fib my heart out, and  publish my answers here.

  1. COOT

Me! – And my League of Extraordinary Older-Gentlemen Grumps.  Apparently there are no young coots.  You gotta be old, to be a coot.  Sean Connery was our Honorary Chairman, until he passed on, to that great Oatmeal Bowl in the sky.

2.   DUNLIN

That’s the name of the firm of Solicitors who constantly telephone, and send threatening letters, to get people to make monthly payments on their car-loans and mortgages.

3.   HOBBY

Hobby is the non-productive expenditure of free time and energy.  The hobby of the people at Hobby Lobby is harassing and abridging the civil rights of those who they feel don’t have the correct sexual orientation.

4.   KNOT

Knot is a euphemism for getting married – tying the knot.  For serial offenders like Mickey Rooney, Liz Taylor, and Larry King, it’s a slip-knot.  😳

5.   RUFF

Ruff is Dennis the Menace’s cartoon canine companion – the more intelligent, less destructive and irksome of the pair.

6.   SCAUP

This is an evil, online commercial deed, performed by a nefarious net-villain.  Every time I want to attend a concert by Jethro Tull, The Moody Blues, ELO, or Billy Joel, some guy with a refurbished NASA computer, and a power source about equal to a small sun, temporarily suspends his Bitcoin mining operation, swoops in and scoops up all the good seats, and then offers them online for 5 to 10 times their original cost.

7.   SERIN

That’s the cultured fluid that ethical, educated, intelligent medical researchers use to make COVID19 and variants protective vaccines from.  It’s the same stuff that nutty conspiracy-theorists, who watched the science Fiction movie, The Fantastic Voyage, believe that Bill Gates (or anyone else) cares enough about them to add tiny little machines to track them with.

8.   SMEW

It’s all the fault of the good, warm English ale.  An American tourist stole a street sign from outside the East-End, Brantley Mews.  The Roads Maintenance Department sent out a two-man team to replace it.  Since they arrived near lunch-time, and the Anvil and Turtle Pub was just outside, they had some cottage pie…. and six or seven jars of beer.   Somehow, when the sign went up, it read SMEW, instead of MEWS.  They had to send out two teetotalers to set things right.

9.   SNIPE

That was the bitch witch at my last job that I set a record with – worked with her for 14 years, and not once did I give her a well-deserved smack in the head.  We called her Princess, which she took to be a compliment.  She was the Princess with the pea, constantly carping about every little thing.

We were working on the wrong project, and if we were on the right one, we were using the wrong procedures, and if we were using the right methods, we were on the wrong schedule.  The only person she never complained about, was the office manager, and she followed him around like Mary’s little lamb.  Smooch, smooch, kiss, kiss!!  The difference between a brown-noser and a shithead – is depth perception.

10. TWITE

There are too many Brits who wouldn’t say Shit if they had a mouthful.  They say Shite, and pretend that they didn’t use profanity.  I can only presume that an irritating, irksome goofball is called a Twite, instead of a Twit.

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Adoption III

We just accepted three refugees into our home.

Adoption

After parents, Mama Garden Gnome, and Papa Garden Gnome, were killed in a freak riding-mower accident, my son generously offered to take in their orphaned sons.

Poor Larry is still horrified at the sight, and is covering his eyes. Shemp hears their screams, and covers his ears, while Moe thinks that he might throw up from the gore, and is covering his mouth.

The Three Stooges

Please note that these boys are genuine, Purebred Garden Gnomes ©, not to be confused with those grape-flavored, animated impersonators, The Smurfs. Smurfs are aptly named. As an adjective ‘smurf’ means illegal/trouble-making/untrustworthy. As a verb, it means con/scam/bamboozle.

As a noun, a smurf is a money-launderer, particularly one who breaks down large amounts of illicit money, into smaller, un-noticed amounts. The next time you see Papa Smurf – that shiny thing on his vest isn’t a gold button, it’s a Bitcoin pin – deceitful little investment broker. 🙄  Our new foster-sons wouldn’t do anything like that. They are honest and upstanding – in the flower garden.

Smurfs are Smurfs in every country except Germany. In Germany, they are called ‘Strumpfs,’ which means ‘stockings.’ I found that out one day, as I was pursuing The Last of The Mohicans. The pioneer explorers of the dense northern New York forests were known as leather-stockings – lederstrumpfs, in German. They used animal hide – usually deer skin – to make tough coverings for their legs, to protect from rattlesnakes, broken branches, brambles, briars, and poison ivy and sumac. There’s none of that in our gardens.

Adoption 2
(There are some Stooge sets that are so garish, even the son won’t buy them.)