Tag Archives: motivation

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Fine Fibbing Friday

Questions to Pensitiviy101 last week were from Melissa: How would you define these?

  1. Ambidexter

This is a porn-watcher who can switch hands without missing a stroke.

  1. Blatherskite

A husband is helping his son try to fly a kite on a windy day, but it keeps crashing to the ground.  His helpful wife yells out the door, “Henry, you need more tail.”  He yells back, “Make up your mind.  Last night you told me to go fly a kite.”

  1. Breviloquent

No idea!

  1. Crapulence

Porta-Potties at outdoor concerts.

  1. Graumangere

That’s a person who eats French oatmeal.

  1. Grimoire

A sad biography, written by someone diagnosed with inoperable cancer.

  1. Illaudible

When your employer hires a motivational speaker to give a talk about Better Communication Through Better Attention And Respect For Others, and you can’t hear a word he’s saying because of all the shop talk and office gossip.  I’ve recommended that the break room coffee be changed to decaf.

  1. Podsnappery

That’s an entry-level job on the frozen pea line at the Green Giant packing plant.  If you do well, you can move up to armed cobbery.

  1. Poetaster

This is someone who is reading The Raven for the first time – Once upon a midnight dreary.

  1. Polemic

This is like a Zumba exercise class, but for young women learning to be strippers.

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SPLIT DECISION – PERFECT JOB OR LOTTERY WIN

Which would you choose, my valued readers??  😕

Money can’t buy happiness – but it makes looking for it a whole lot easier and keeps you a lot more comfortable till it arrives.  As a rock star once said, “You can moor your yacht much closer to it.”

I have been poor and happy – at the very least, contented – all my life.  I’m willing to take a chance on being uncomfortable, sitting on a big pile of hard cash.  I don’t think that I would be like some lottery winners, who blow through a $million or two in a year, and wind up homeless.  With the financial training that I received from my parents, I think that I would be far more rational with a big win.  Someone once told me that I needed professional help.  I replied, “Yeah, a cook, a maid, and a gardener should do it.”

WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IMPOSSIBILITIES

Faint as it is, the chance of winning a big lottery is more likely than finding the perfect job.  I don’t believe that the perfect job exists.  Motivational speakers urge you to, “Follow your heart.  Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.  Start your own business.”  Doing What!  I doubt that I can find someone who will pay me to solve crossword puzzles and research German verbs.

And you’re still working for someone.  Even self-employed, you work for yourself –and I make a terrible boss.  The only motivation many of these speakers have, is their income, not yours.  One confided to the wife that he was not making enough money so, counter-intuitively, he raised his rates.  Psychology says that someone who asks for more, must be worth more.  He was getting more gigs, at the higher fee.

This blogging thing is the closest I’ve come to the perfect job, and I still have deadlines, production problems, and surly staff.  Much as I would miss my treasured readers, I would sooner be able to afford to read more, and travel much more, seeing the world in fact, and in print.  I might even have to join Facebook, just so that I could publish pictures of me on the Lido Deck, sipping a Mimosa, eating yoghurt, and holding a copy of Portnoy’s Complaint, in Cozumel.

I would love to shed my Protestant work ethic, and be supported in the way that I want to become accustomed to.  What about you??  Could you be happy, being a lounge act, or do you feel the need to be productive?  And what would your perfect job produce?  😕  😀

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Flash Fiction #211

Round and Round

PHOTO PROMPT © C.E. Ayr

ROUND AND ROUND

There ought to be a picture of Heller’s book, Catch 22, on the office wall as an (un)motivational poster. Herding cats was looking easy.

HR had volun-told him to organize the company Christmas party. It seemed easy, until…. The Alcoholics Anonymous group wanted a pay-bar, and free, non-alcoholic drinks, so that they didn’t stand out. The vegans wanted a menu with yams, not hams, and a table as far from “The Flaming Pit of Death” barbecue as possible. The Indigenous employees wanted a drumming circle….and on, and on, AND ON!

Dilbert wasn’t just a comic-strip character. He was a visionary.

Dilbert

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Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a complete 100 word story.

friday-fictioneers-badge-web

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’18 A To Z Challenge – V

surrounded

So, there I was, surrounded by my adoring fans/all the daughter’s pets, when I thought that I should start another A To Z Challenge blog-post when I got home.

glasses

When I got there, I couldn’t see my way clear to actually compose anything, because….  Forget about the dog(s) eating my homework.  The two little #*$@ darlings ate my glasses.  Fortunately, I’ve got an old pair that would suffice, at least until the Optical Surgeon gouged one of my eyes out.

meetings

I finally decided to do a little research on words that begin with the letter V, and found

Velleity

noun, plural vel·le·i·ties.

  1. volition in its weakest form.
  2. a mere wish, unaccompanied by an effort to obtain it.

Well, I’ve already lost the chance to claim it, because I’ve researched and downloaded it.  At least the definition doesn’t say anything about procrastination or laziness.  Throw in a couple of cheap and easy graphics, and that’s all I have to say about the letter V.  If you don’t like it, tough luck.

no fucks

I ordered a big shipment of motivation from Amazon, but it was delayed by the Christmas rush.  It just arrived, so I’ll do much better in a couple of weeks, for the letter W.  See you then.  😀