Tag Archives: intelligence

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Blog Theme Prompt – Memory

Would you rather have no long-term memory or no short-term memory? Why?

What was the question, again??

As a world renowned expert on both of these phenomena, let me assure you that neither of them is a bed of roses – more like a bed of rose bushes, with lots of sharp thorns.

I was born with a neurological syndrome that seriously impaired both my short-, and long-term memory.  It was maddening to appear slow, or stupid, when all I was, was forgetful.  I was actually relatively smart.  I could understand and figure complicated things out.  I just had to develop methods that helped me remember them for things like school exams.

I tested at 142 IQ.  I was smart enough to join MENSA – if I’d ever remembered to apply.  I cracked the electronic lock on a small safe, on the way into a Science Museum, but couldn’t remember the sequence, 8 hours later, as I exited.

You’ve heard of the old meme of tying a string around a finger, to remind you of something.  My life has been a trail of bread crumbs memory joggers – a pen left here, a bag set there, a book placed on the stairs, a note in red, in my Word blog file.  It is also maddening to see the trigger, and know that I’m supposed to recall something, and not have the faintest clue what it is.

What is also frustrating, is remembering something that didn’t happen.  I have given the pets water, or cleaned out the litter pan, every day for 4,000 days – so I ‘remember’ doing it today.  My normal age-induced memory loss is increasing.

My life – my consciousness –  my awareness – is closing in on me.  It’s a wonder that I remember to publish my blog-posts. The wife, who I relied on, because she had a diamond-hard, laser-sharp memory, is quickly, and deeply, slipping into old-age memory loss far worse than mine.  Some days, it’s like dealing with Rain Man.  Fortunately, the kids – and Grandkids – are here to keep an eye on us.

….what was I talking about??  Oh yeah.  You please remember to stop back on Friday for some fabulously funny fibs.   😀

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Fibbing Friday # 272

Pensitivity101’s Uncredited Fibbing Friday

Hopefully you can have some fun with these:

1. What is the difference between sun burn and sun stroke?

Sun burn is the hot, dry, painful skin you get if you don’t slather (Stroke) SPF3000 cream on.  I know you Brits don’t see it through the clouds all that often, but when it does shine, try to show a little restraint.

2. What is the difference between cycle and bicycle?

In finding out whether it is more blessed to give, or to receive, a bicycle will take you, coming or going.

3. What is the difference between pinch and pinchbeck?

Remember the old “Punch Buggy – No punch back” game that rowdy kids used to play in the back seat, on long trips, when one would spot a VW Beetle??  The modern version involves Teslas.  Pinch me.  I didn’t think anyone was dumb enough to buy one of these.  Sighting of a Cybertruck can result in unconsciousness.

4. What is the difference between sprig and sprog?

A sprig is an offshoot.  A sprog is a drunken Scotsman who will shoot off his mouth.
‘Ma caber’s bigger than yoors.’

5. What is the difference between beacon and beckon?

‘Beacon’ says stay away.  ‘Beckon says come hither.’  Sadly, neither of them say BACON, only one reason why I am neither Jewish nor Muslim.

6. What is a gooseberry fool?

Don’t call me a fool.  I know what a gooseberry is.  It’s a small fruit, used to make a sweet spread for toast or scones, sold at the jamboree, below.  Have you ever seen the process?  It’s jarring.

7. What is a bakewell tart?

Also known as a “meadow muffin.”  I used to dry them, and sell them as a homeopathic intelligence enhancer.  One guy said, “What is this??!  It tastes like shit.”  I said, “See!  You’re getting smarter already.”

8. What is a bistro?

That’s a Russian word for a single mother.  It means, “Father not in attendance.”

9. What is a jamboree?

It’s a small, local, fair-like retail gathering of people selling variously-flavored sweet spreads as replacements, for people who don’t like watercress, or cucumber, sandwiches for tea.

10. What is a chancer?

He’s the techno-idiot who makes a turn from a side street, across three lanes of traffic, onto a busy, main road, while checking his cell phone, to see how late he is.  If he doesn’t stop it, he, and probably several others, will be described as ‘late.’

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Google One Liners

I Googled “Missing Mediaeval servant”….
…. It came back, “Page not found.”

My date said, “I’m looking for someone who is kind and intelligent”….
….Oops, I thought you said kinda intelligent.

Proud to announce that my goal of becoming a criminal lawyer is half complete….
….Just working on the lawyer part now.

The doctor told me that I have hypochondria….
….I replied, “That too?”

The wife reached another culinary milestone today….
….by setting off the neighbors’ smoke alarm.

I hate people who take drugs….
….For example, airport security.

Taco Bell is selling fries….
….Burger King is selling tacos….
….KFC is putting Cheetos on chicken sandwiches….
….I knew we shouldn’t legalize marijuana.

Both the Bible and the Quran tell us to love one another….
….The Kama Sutra is a little more specific.

On the Internet, you can be anything you want….
….It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Unlike the brain….
….the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

My therapist says I have trouble expressing emotion….
….I can’t say I’m surprised.

A lot of people were confused at the opening….
….of my ribbon repair company.

Trump is nothing like Hitler….
….No way could he write a book.

I don’t have arthritis….
….I have early-onset rigor mortis.

The four seasons are all different….
….Summer warmer than others.

The difference between coffee and your opinion….
….I asked for coffee.

I tried cooking with wine last night….
….After five glasses I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

There are two kinds of people in the world….
….I try to avoid them.

In the ‘60s, people took acid to make the world weird….
….Today the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like….
….the government.

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Intelligent VS Smart

Being “Intelligent” does not mean that you are “Smart.”  Take my wife – please.

When she went into Grade 9, the school administered an IQ test, on which she scored in the middle 120s.  She is reasonably ‘intelligent,’ however….
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Where and when I attended high school, jewelry of any sort on students was rare.  I was almost the only one I knew who had a wristwatch.  Boys wore no rings, often because of sports.  Bracelets and bangles were non-existent.  Very few girls wore necklaces.  There must have been a few Catholics mixed in with us heathen Protestants.  I remember a couple of modest, sterling crucifixes, and the cafeteria served salmon loaf each Friday.

Not being a “Christian,” and desiring to be a little different, I wanted to wear some kind of necklace, but not A CROSS. I read in some magazine, an offer like, Send in two Post Toasties box-tops and 75¢, and we’ll send you a genuine, pewter, Maltese Cross.  I hung it from a cheap, steel chain, and wore it for years.  One day, it just disappeared.  With no memory, I couldn’t look back to see exactly where and when and how I had lost it.

Fast forward ten years.  I have a couple of kids and a wife.  We are watching some PBS documentary about the Knights of Malta, and how they petitioned the Pope to allow them to use the Maltese Cross as their religious emblem.  I casually said, “I used to have a Maltese Cross that I wore, but it just disappeared one day.  I don’t know how I lost it, or where it went.  And the wife said:

Well, when we first started going out, I noticed you wearing it.  I didn’t know what it was.  I’d never seen anything like it.  The only ones I knew about were part of Nazi war medals.  I didn’t know why you were worshipping Nazis, but I just didn’t think it was right.  One day, when we were at the beach, you took it off to go into the water, and I took it out of your shoe, and buried it in the sand.

W!   T!   F!??

So:
Before we were even married
Without my Knowledge
Without my permission
Without having me explain myself
Without knowing what it was
Without doing any research
Without asking questions
Without expressing her concern

She just felt justified in stealing my personal property, and disposing of it without telling me, because she somehow disapproved – and then, voluntarily piping up, and admitting to it.  Her recent ex-Catholic status forced her mind to confess her sin.  Had it been me…. My ‘Smart’ brain would have told my ‘Intelligent’ mouth to Shut the f**k up!!

Fifty years later, I am still occasionally reminded somehow, and I am still angered.

😦

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Cycling Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101 gave us more recycled questions from Teresa Grabs who was the Fibbing Friday originator:

1. What is the most intelligent life form on Earth?

Sasquatch, and their Asian cousins, Yeti, for staying so far away from humans that they are just rumors and myths.

2. Why did we really go to school?

So that Mum could congregate with the rest of the neighbourhood Wine For Lunch Bunch.  Sometimes mine would call Nan, and apologize.

3. What did teachers do during recess?

Lines!  Back in my day, it was Canadian Club.

4. How did you get to school?

With special dispensation from the local School Board, and only after Mom and Dad signed the Special Waiver, guaranteeing to hold them blameless.

5. What was life like before the Internet?

It was a lot like Real Life.  Since the advent of the Internet, it’s been a Cosmic Joke that no-one gets.

6. What is the best thing about social media?

Being able to opt out, and ignore its seductive siren call.  Using this life plan, I have personally rescued 47 IQ points from being destroyed.

7. What is your favorite thing to put chocolate sauce on?

That was a stripper Exotic Dancer, who called herself Cherry.  But that was long ago, and far away.  Now for an exciting evening, I put Ben-Gay on my right hip.

8. Doctors were all wrong…humans don’t need water. What do they need?

REVENGE!  👿  Tell the boss you don’t think that my work is up to company standard??  You’ll rue the day.

9. Dolphins are not mammals. What are they?

They are the Orca’s equivalent to the Internet.  If you are lucky enough to see one, it’s not just frolicking for humans.  It’s rushing an order to get Free Willy, tickets to the Taylor Shamu concert.

10. There is a Lost Dutchman’s Mine, but where is it?

The treasure-map said to go to the North Pole, turn west, and take 143 paces, but I think it’s up in Nelly’s room, behind the wallpaper.

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One Flew Over The Ego’s Nest

The most famous Atheist of the 20th century found God.
(Writer’s note – No he didn’t! – Rebuttal below)
He Wrote a book about it.
I read the book.
Tickets to the Pity-Party are available for a nominal fee, at the box office in the lobby, as you exit the blog-site.

For fifty years, Antony Flew was the world’s best-known, and most vocal Atheist, a legend in his own mind.  He wrote a book titled There Is No God.  But he wasn’t your run-of-the-mill Atheist.  He didn’t merely not believe because he had not been presented with sufficiently convincing evidence.  He wanted to use words and debates and arguments and philosophy to prove that he was too smart to be gullible.

Just before he died, at age 80, he wrote another book.  The cover was identical to his earlier book, with the cutesy twist that, the word No was stroked through, and the word A was added.  The first half was about him.  Atheism was just an excuse to prove his brilliance.

He wrote and published a paper making some unsupported Atheist claim.  A year later, he wrote another paper, supporting the unsupportable.  He debated with a well-known Theist, and of course, won.  He wrote a paper rebutting and debunking another Theist.  He engaged in an ongoing correspondence contest with a Christian Apologist – and trounced him.  I’m surprised he didn’t dislocate his shoulder, patting himself on the back.

When he published the, There Is A God book, the Christian Apologist and Debater Society immediately adopted him.  The book’s blurb says, “The world’s most famous Atheist changed his mind.”  They clasped him to their bosom, and erected a life-sized cardboard cut-out of him, like Iron Man, despite the fact that his book specifically denies the existence of the needy, personal Christian God who knows your every thought, answers prayers, performs miracles, and hands out morality, and penalties for not obeying it.

He didn’t really change his mind; he just refined his reference points, and therefore his conclusion. He very unscientifically decided that there was some sort of underlying order and control to the cosmos.  He had ‘discovered’ Spinoza’s Deistic “God,” or Einstein’s.  He had found a (incorrectly spelled) Copernician, non-personal “God”.  He still had 26 angels, dancing on the head of a pin, but these ones were black-clad Goths, not golden, white-robed, haloed ones.

His statements – claims – were all null, because they had no referents.  The book is full of philosophical and debate buzzwords, open to interpretation.  He made claims based on ungrounded assumptions from unproven methodology.  The most common word in the book is IF!  If there is order in the Universe, GOD must have put it there.  If objective morals exist, then GOD must have commanded them.

The ‘Laws of Nature’ are descriptive, not prescriptive.  They are established by Mankind – scientists – who state observed reality.  Light does not travel at 300,000 Km/sec because God stands out in the cosmos with a crossing-guard paddle and a radar gun, yet Flew wanted to know “Who wrote the Laws of Nature?” with no evidence, no proof, that such a thing was even possible, or if it was, that it was a WHO that did it.

He firmly declared that he could not believe in Abiogenesis and evolution, that life – intelligence – could come merely from matter.  I guess that he was so busy being famous, that he missed the Miller-Urey experiments which proved that it was possible.

Yet another ‘Religious’ book that I was unimpressed, and underwhelmed by.  It seems that the only thing that Philosophy and debate prove, is that Philosophical debaters can be some very uninformed, ivory-tower assholes.

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Later, I learned that the book was actually written by a Christian Apologist, with a Religious bias, who blamed credited Flew with having actually penned it.  After the cover claims that There Is A God, it shows Antony Flew as author, with Roy Abraham Varghese, as if he was only there to sharpen pencils, make coffee, and look up definitions.  Varghese wrote and published the book without Flew’s knowledge or authorization – Standard Practice!  😦  😳

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Smitty’s Loose Change #21

One person’s dream is another person’s nightmare.  A Universe without purpose or guidance may seem, for some, to make life itself meaningless.  For others, such a Universe is invigorating.  It makes the fact of our existence even more amazing, and it motivates us to draw meaning from our own actions and to make the most of our brief existence in the sun, simply because we are here, blessed with consciousness, and with the opportunity to do so.

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Science does not make it impossible to believe in God.  Rather, it makes it possible to not believe in God.  Without science, everything is a miracle.  With science, there exists the possibility that nothing is.

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I researched two words/names in two different languages one day, Spanish and German, and wound up at the same spot.  I saw video of a terribly destructive tornado, so violent that it got named – El Reno.  What does ‘reno’ mean in English?  The first translation said it meant ‘reindeer.’

There’s not a lot of reindeer in Kansas.  Keep trying.  Further digging told me that “Reno” is often short for ‘Moreno,’ which means brown.

A couple of hours later, I got interested enough to investigate the name of a man I met, when I reluctantly went to church – Brunk.  It translates to ‘son of Bruno,’ and “Bruno,” in German, means brown.

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Pedestrian dies after train crash
We had a train crash??  (An old) Someone stood too close to the tracks at a downtown, level crossing, and was brushed back, and later died.  Newspapers are also now engaging in clickbait.

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In an effort to keep up with the Kardshians, a local middle-aged man recently died of cancer, leaving behind his children, Toni-Lynn, Tylor, Trinity, Timothy, Teeghan, and Tianna – fortunately, before Tiara, Tush, and Tostito were conceived.

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We live in a time when intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

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I’ve stopped asking, “How stupid can you be?”  Some people are taking it as a challenge. has officially stopped being a joke.  A local city councilman councilor, who was/is a very successful lawyer, used his own funds to hire two part-time assistants to aid him in better serving his constituents.

Instead of thanking and congratulating him for putting his money where his mouth is, several councilors have complained that they cannot afford to do the same, and are bitching about him creating an inequity, and an uneven playing field among councilors.  They don’t want to improve the bureaucracy one little bit.  They just want to drag him down to the lowest common denominator, so that they don’t look bad by comparison.  That ship has sailed!

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What is one question that you hate to be asked?
This One!!  😈

Where would you go on a shopping spree?
To the local bank!!  I would love it if they had $5 bills on sale for $2.99/ea. and $20s at $16.99 – 2 for $30.

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Book Review #30

Because I am retired, there is no external, commercial, reason for me to continue to attempt to improve my mind and my knowledge.  But self-satisfaction, and the ability to intelligently communicate, discuss and debate, drive me to occasionally read a book that is deeper than a rain-puddle oil slick.

The author: Lawrence M. Krauss

The book: A Universe From Nothing

The review:  The very title gave the first indication that this author thinks deeper and more profoundly than many, especially Theists, and Christian apologists.  When I asked Bing for an image of A Universe From Nothing book, the results page was titled The Universe From Nothing.  Krauss has not ruled out the possibility that our special universe may not be the only one.

This book does for astrophysics, what Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time did.  It describes and explains The Big Bang, and the universe, in simplified terms that anyone not wearing a MAGA hat can understand.  Not that I sailed through its 191 pages in one evening.  I limited myself to 10 pages a day, taking time to comprehend and assimilate.

Christian assholes apologists sometimes ask, “How can Something have come from Nothing?”  Apparently, they either forget, or ignore the fact that, this is exactly what they claim their God did.  Krauss explains recent cosmological discoveries, and how they are changing the definitions and usage of some words.

“Nothing,” whether outer space, (which is actually full of stardust and hydrogen atoms) or inner space, between the nuclei and electron orbits of atoms, or between the atoms of ‘solid’ matter, is not really “nothing.”  Just below the quantum surface, it is aboil with huge amounts of energy and creative potential.  “Nothing” is unstable!  It is almost inevitable that something will pop out, to relieve the quantum pressure – anything from individual virtual particles, to our entire universe.

“Why is there something, instead of nothing?” implies intelligent intent and control.  The question should be asked, “How is there something, instead of nothing?”  Theoretically, The Big Bang should have produced equal amounts of matter, and anti-matter, which annihilated each other.  A tiny random fluctuation in the initial expansion produced slightly more matter than anti-matter.  The rest blasted itself back into the bubbling quantum energy morass.  All the matter in the Universe is only a tiny fraction of its total mass.

Some Theistic arguers have claimed that the existence of pure, clear, mathematics, somehow indicates the existence of God.  The same mathematics does not ‘prove’ that God does not exist, but it does show that God is redundant, unnecessary, and not evident in any of the research.

The Universe is not only stranger than we know; it is stranger than we can know, but we keep asking questions, and finding more and more answers.

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What are you doing for Easter??
Oh, just hanging around.  😳

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Occupied On Fibbing Friday

Christine, of Stine Writing, threw Pensitivity101 a curve ball in the comments on this post about occupations, so she decided to go with that for the final FF of 2022.

My alternatives on these are!

  1. What is a dentist?

He’s a husband/boyfriend who’s been exiled to sleep on the couch in the rec-room/family room, and usually has no idea what he said or did to rate the sentence – but is happy to enjoy a day or two of delicious silence.

2. What is a paralegal?

It’s a husband and wife law firm, where they argue about how to best split the fees, not only for bragging rights, but for maximum tax avoidance.

3. What is a Nanny?

That’s my Grandma – and she’ll have no nonsense from you.  Sit down quiet and eat your oatmeal porridge.  There’s sheep to shear, and tartans to be wove.

4. What is an auditor?

Male or female, they are the long-suffering clerks who, in short shifts, man the Returns Counter at Marks and Sparks, the week after Christmas.  They’ve heard it all before, and believe none of it.  “No ma’am, you may not return that (horrid) jumper without a sales receipt.  Even if we allowed it, you may only get an exchange, not a cash refund.  And besides, you cow, your generous gift-giver got it at Value Village.

5. What is a programmer?

He’s any normal male with a TV remote control.  Women use a remote to find out what’s on television.  Guys use it to find out what else is on.  512 channels – Click, Click, Click, Click….

6. What is a cartographer?

She’s the Natalie nattily-dressed (or He is the spiffy-dressed, don’t ask – don’t tell) airline flight attendant who seems to have been sampling the bar, before she/he wields that drink trolley like a weapon down the aisle, ramming unsuspecting knees and crushing toes.

7. What is a musician?

A Music Ian is the unofficial titled bestowed on a poor (or so we claim) Scotsman – too often a Stewart – who is dragooned into establishing the order that pipe bands will perform at Military Tattoos.   He’s LIKE a Geordie, only with administrative OCD.  Some bands want to be first, to make that all-important first impression.  Others demand to be the closing act, to be best remembered.  At least it’s all done with tablets or lap-tops these days, and disputes are no longer settled with claymores.

8. What is a cordwainer?

He is a misguided Eco-Warrior who eschews heating his home with fuel oil or natural gas.  Instead, he spews his CO2 into the air by burning pieces of trees.  Near the end of a particularly long and cold winter, his pile of dried firewood is dwindling quickly, and he’s trying to figure out how he might surreptitiously add his neighbour’s garden shed.

9. What is a taxidermist?

It is any London cab-driver, what with the pea-soup fog, interspersed with blinding rain.  They had to invent Satnav for the immigrant drivers.  Star Wars came as no surprise to the old guard.  Use the force, Luke!  Use the force – to figure out where the bloody Hell we are in this garden-maze of streets.  I think they drive by sense of smell.  Charred steak-and-kidney pie??  Must be the Drunken Crow pub.  Turn right here.

10. What is a penciller?

The last of a dying breed, soon to be extinct – the actual, live editor.  He is found now only at the most upscale of publishing firms, having been replaced elsewhere by SpellCheck, GrammarCheck and Grammarly.  But Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

He scans manuscripts with an eagle eye, and a handful of coloured pencils, speaking/writing a strange, arcane language – lede, stet, dele.  Our hoped-for perfect submission is returned, looking like a kindergartner’s art project – black, green, red – add this, take out that, spell this.

Beware if it is adorned with blue pencil.  That means you’ve used salacious language which is not allowed, unless you’re writing a sequel to 50 Shades of Grey, or a porno movie plot.  The doorbell rang.  Clad only in a shorty robe, the voluptuous young housewife answered the door.  It was the handsome young pool-cleaner.  🙂

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Déjà Vu Fibbing Friday

Pensitivity101’s recycled Fibbing Friday

  1. What is the most intelligent life form on Earth?

Those are the viewers who come to read my Fibbing Friday output – and they are handsome, good-looking, and quite sexually attractive.  They are intelligent, and not gullible, or easily taken in with false praise.  They often wear rubber boots, and step high as they pass through.  After the last of them have left, I sweep this up, spread it on the garden, and grow gigantic zucchini.

  1. Why did we really go to school?

So that our Moms could have a little ‘Adult Time” with their friends, Merlot and Prince Valium.

  1. What did teachers do during recess?

Until Marijuana dispensaries became legal, party favors in the teachers’ lounge were provided by a guy named Stoner.  On a rotating basis, therapy sessions were provided by a circuit-rider psychiatrist, but there’s not much they can do in 15 minutes.

  1. How did you get to school?

After my Mother firmly insisted that I do so, I carefully placed one foot in front of the other, and repeated, until my nose bumped into the fount of education.

  1. What was life like before the Internet?

It was peaceful and quiet, yet, apparently people were unknowingly unhappy.  We didn’t have Influencers, to tell us what food, clothing and performance artists to ‘Like,’ as well as Woke Snowflakes, with boundless supplies of Presentism, to show us how we should be appalled at what our ancestors did in good faith.

  1. What is the best thing about social media?

The ability to opt out.  Some beautiful, two-digit IQ said something vapid and inane, and got 273,000 likes??!  Not from me!  Sorry, not sorry – I don’t give a F… damn.  Someone I don’t know ate a meal – or at least took and published photos, before going back to the anorexia clinic??!  I’ve got a real life – with perogies, and a good book.

  1. What is your favorite thing to put chocolate sauce on?

I’m not sure yet.  Research is still ongoing.  It’s quicker and easier to compile a short list of where it shouldn’t go.  So far, it shouldn’t go on Caesar salad, or nachos.   😉

  1. Doctors were all wrong…humans don’t need water. What do they need?

Many need a slap upside the head.  Find it almost impossible to drink eight glasses of water a day??  But eight beers go down quick and easy.  More??!  You want more??!

  1. Dolphins are not mammals. What are they?

They are NFL football players for the Miami team.  Even close visual inspection does not reveal whether they are demons, or space aliens – perhaps both.  One of their cousins – Herschel Walker – was a Cowboy, a Giant, a Viking, and an Eagle, before he became the worst type of animal, a hypocritical, Bible-thumping politician.

Even though he espouses “Family Values,” he has fathered four children with four unwed mothers.  Despite ranting about banning abortion, he paid $700 to prevent the birth of a fifth little bastard.

  1. There is a Lost Dutchman’s Mine, but where is it?

Remember the story of the little Dutch boy who stuck his finger in a hole in a dyke dike, to prevent a flood??!  Turns out, he was a lookout and distraction, and the hole was a concealed keyhole that opened a carefully camouflaged door.  The mine does not yield gold or silver, just scads of hydroponically grown tulips, tons of Gouda and Edam cheese that fell off the back of a truck, and wooden shoes, with a few Dutch Uncles as supervisors.