loss

Echo

Tomorrow is my grandpa’s 93rd birthday. It feels like he’s been on holiday — like our grief is some compounded sadness over an absence of three months, not forever. Three months. A leaf, falling with timid grace from a tree. A baby, giggling as they curl their fingers around your own. Tiny, new fingers —Continue reading “Echo”

Missing You

The truth is that you’re gone, with the wind, in the ground — it’s all the same, uniting with Earth, new energy again? The truth is that my dad will never get to see his dad the same way, again. A heaven, a hell, a change from life to death has been promised to usContinue reading “Missing You”

Here I Am

To say, express, write – to get off our collective chests: I am feeling lonely, in need of touch, in need of social contact. How did the Castaway do it? (He did it by acting in a movie). What to do? Creativity. Imagining: Outdoor soccer distanced passing (usual passing) with fellow Brooklyn queers And aContinue reading “Here I Am”

White Houses

When someone lives both near and far from your heart— where do you go, where do you start to make sense of that sense of loss, that sense of time passing like a train past white houses they have sat and waited, sat and, sat… I see Paul in a fresh tuxedo and his brideContinue reading “White Houses”

Trees

My back is strong like a piece of bark it has its edges but it is stable, it stands tall– it is stillness and silence and me. These elements of control have never been my friend. Illusive fears of loosing a self that I had forged by lack of force the word loss–Continue reading “Trees”

Grief

I suppose all I can do is feel it when it comes, and devote my life to loving in a way he, too, deserved to love. for all those we have loved and lost February 3, 2016

I’ve been thinking about loss, lately. How forcibly it comes and takes away– so difficult it is to let go. People are my backbone and thoughts of being uncomfortable around them simply verifies this fact. Yet I know my life, life, is full and there are no “buts.” I will letContinue reading “Loss”

I, You, and Me

“There’s no need to play with my heart.” … I never realized just how badly you hurt me … But the beauty is that it is not “me” that you hurt. … I am human, a continuous self not stagnant, sitting on a shelf … I have learned and I have moved away from theContinue reading “I, You, and Me”

Losing a Friend

There was never A more beautiful place To lose a friend. The tide pulls and pushes My heart strings back And forth, Reminding me of the times I could laugh at her smile And run down a white line Screaming, “Follow!” There’s never a good time To lose a friend. They canContinue reading “Losing a Friend”

Kitchen Sink

My brain is like a faucet flow the memories down: what good, half-full moment do you encounter down the stair, past the front door– away from me– you creek towards a polaroid camera, an album soon to be extinct I want my mind to be only mine to see, only mine to use– toContinue reading “Kitchen Sink”