doubt

Assumptions

I assume you’re not gonna call back — trauma says, “Why would you? Don’t you see my flaws? Don’t you see my fears written out in flowers and bulbs?” Ballpoint pens do not lie like the rest of the world, like my mind hearing you say I am pretty, or I am adventurous, I am,Continue reading “Assumptions”

Should

Maybe I should write more; maybe I should change the story; maybe I should wear a shirt when it rains and nothing else; maybe I should pretend I don’t feel other people’s pain; maybe I should go over there and explain; maybe I should keeping looking for love in all the wrong places; maybe IContinue reading “Should”

Trees

My back is strong like a piece of bark it has its edges but it is stable, it stands tall– it is stillness and silence and me. These elements of control have never been my friend. Illusive fears of loosing a self that I had forged by lack of force the word loss–Continue reading “Trees”

I’ve been thinking. What’s new. But this was more of meta thought: a thought about thought (again, what’s new). What’s new is our apparent understanding of doubt is flawed. The one thing we know for sure is that we know nothing. Doubt operates under the assumption that we know something. If weContinue reading “Doubt”

The Human Condition

Alone in my head how did this happen again? Afraid of myself more than anyone else afraid of my mind’s tricks like the devil part of me runs, part of me nourishes. External realities versus internal dimensionality my vulnerability got me everything good and everything bad trust my mind– it is strong, then flies outContinue reading “The Human Condition”

The Story

It’s what we write every day and, whether we are fully aware of it or not, it’s the grandest story of all: The Story of My Life. From the news and social media, to conversations at work and on the street, stories make up the “stuff” of our lives. I truly believe that we are more thanContinue reading “The Story”

Surrender

When I was younger my doubt came in the form of a size 4 black and white soccer ball “Can I win, can I beat the player these coaches have formed inside of my head?” I wrote and I wrote and finally I forgave I created a new reality of real-life-results and they stuck. TodayContinue reading “Surrender”