To say, express, write – to get off our collective chests:
I am feeling lonely, in need of touch, in need of social contact.
How did the Castaway do it? (He did it by acting in a movie).
What to do? Creativity. Imagining:
Outdoor soccer distanced passing (usual passing) with fellow Brooklyn queers
And a fire pit in the yard that we needed two weeks ago
When the weather turned 30 degrees and too cold for COVID walks
When I fell into a 2020 breakup and felt a loss
Warm body promising something during this landscape moment,
Flipping the photograph from vertical to horizontal
To view the long road ahead to new hope? freedom? scarcity, again?
Soon: tennis with my sister and her boyfriend;
Soon: renting a house with my long distance best friend
Meeting halfway (4 hour ride still sounds long because it is)
What else can we do? COVID-19 y’all, opening up wounds
Some folks thought were smooth, pearly skin until this mother f’er hit.
Dating? Ha. My ex … feelings there
And I declare should I just hold my friends’ hands? Kiss Kelly?
What else can we do but hold ourselves and validate:
This is really difficult right now, 9 months of a slower, isolated
Life that I’ve learned from, that I’m ready to return from.
A trip to – Long Island! To books, to mountainscapes
Fitting of our horizontally held paper.
Here I am: feeling quite unmet, fate left to human needs
And outdoor greed of politicians, killjoys, and men.
December 11, 2020
Reaching Joy 