Tag Archives: pleasure

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Meaty One-Liners

What disease….
….did cured ham actually have?

If you overturn a canoe, you can use it as a hat….
….because it is capsized.

What do you call twins who both decide to become policemen?….
….Copies.

I got an online survey that asked, “What motivates you to go to work each day?”….
…I responded, “Probation officer.”

The only nice thing about being imperfect….
….is the joy it brings to others.

I started a band called 999 Megabytes….
….We haven’t got a gig yet.

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?….
….Re-Morse code

A clean house….
….is a sign of a broken computer.

I’m having an introvert party….
….and you’re all not invited.

I used to be a people person….
….until people ruined it for me.

My brain….
….is giving me the silent treatment today.

Apparently rock bottom….
….has a basement.

I’m not a hard drinker….
….I actually find it quite easy.

Getting to work on time….
….seems to make the day feel so long.

I wanted to make a joke about leeches….
….but it sucked.

You can’t believe everything you hear….
….but you can repeat it.

There was a heated debate about theft at the restaurant….
….so I decided to not take sides.

My friends keep pressuring me to go spelunking….
….so I finally caved.

A girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre….
….so he gave it to her.

I, for one….
….like Roman numerals.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian….
….Well, they’re not laughing now.

Who is this Rorschach guy?….
….and why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

There’s a fine line between….
….hyphenated words.

I organized a threesome last night….
….There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had fun.

I told the kids I never wanted to be in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle….
….so they unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.

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’25 A To Z Challenge – D

 

CAUTION: OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY BE FARTHER IN THE PAST THAN YOU’D LIKE

Today, I’d like to talk to you about

DEBAUCHERY

Because at my age, that’s all I can do – talk about it.  Actually, I can’t remember a time when I did anything but talk.  It seems to be one of those ‘Negative’ words that doesn’t have a ‘Positive.’  Nobody ever ascends into ‘Bauchery.’

The dictionary says that it means

excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures; intemperance.

Archaic. seduction from duty, allegiance, or virtue.

But one person’s debauchery is just another’s normal Saturday night.  One condemnatory Christian caller to an Atheist podcast, defined it as a male college student who had unmarried sex with a female, and later, moved on to have unmarried sex with one or more other females.  Sounded a lot like Incel jealousy to me.

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’20 A To Z Challenge – X

 

How do you catch a bear??  You dig a hole in the forest, and build a big fire in it until it burns down to ashes.  Then you place frozen peas around the rim of the hole.  When the bear stops for a pea, you kick him in the ash-hole.

All of which is easier than catching a theme for the letter X.  I recently published a post with references to Utopia, Brigadoon, and Shangri-La.  Since I did not include it there, and with inspiration (and words that begin with X) so thin on the ground, I’ve decided to feature the word

XANADU

a place of great beauty, luxury, and contentment.

Xanadu – the movie – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xanadu_(film)

Xanadu – the poem (part of it) – By Samuel Taylor Coleridge – actually titled

Kubla Khan

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

A stately pleasure-dome decree:

Where Alph, the sacred river, ran

Through caverns measureless to man

   Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground

With walls and towers were girdled round;

And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,

Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree;

And here were forests ancient as the hills,

Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

The Xanadu in the poem was inspired by Shang-tu, the summer residence of Mongolian general and statesman Kublai Khan (grandson of Genghis Khan). You might also recognize “Xanadu” as the name of the fantastic estate in Orson Welles’s 1941 film Citizen Kane.  Coleridge’s fantastic description of an exotic utopia fired public imagination and ultimately contributed to the transition of “Xanadu” from a name to a generalized term for an idyllic place.

There’s everything that you never wanted to know about Xanadu.  After (almost) completing this post, I decided on a likely suspect for next year.  After that, you’re on your own.  The alphabet will only contain 25 letters.  Any suggestions or requests will be gratefully accepted, unless you want an exciting and extended treatise on the development and use of the cedilla.   😳

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Don’t Get All Emotional

Emoticon

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com/post/122182141428/23-emotions-people-feel-but-cant-explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, which inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

There’s no sense asking if you’ve experienced any of these.  We’ve all experienced them all, and will continue to, only now we’ve got a label that we can point to.  I will experience my usual, clearly-labeled pleasure if you visit, read, comment….  You know – the usual, happy déjà vu.  😀