I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock….
….in a nutshell.

After the election, a poll reveals that 100% of Americans think….
….that 50% of Americans have lost their minds.

If Joe Biden and Donald Trump had a street fight, who would win?….
….The American public.

70% of Americans said that Donald Trump being elected would make them nervous….
….The other 30% said that it would make them Canadians.

Donald Trump and Joe Biden are in a boat that sinks.  Who is saved?….
….The United States of America

What do you call a homeless horse?….
….Unstable.

If God made man in His image….
….why aren’t we invisible?

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die….
….Natural causes, and talking back to your parents.

I have a friend who composes music about sewing machines….
….He’s a Singer song-writer – or sew it seams.

I’m lucky I don’t have enough friends….
….to stage an intervention.

Back in my day, a selfie….
….was what you did when the wife wasn’t in the mood.

Laughter is the best medicine….
….unless you have diarrhea.

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation….
….so I slathered it all over my co-worker, Karen.

Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves….
….That’s where I come in.

The Innuendo Society has seen….
….a huge rise in its members

Back in my day, blowing a tranny….
….was an automotive issue.

No use being pessimistic….
….It wouldn’t work anyway.

Did you know that “Dammit I’m mad” spelled backwards….
….is “Dammit I’m mad.”

Be a minimalist….
….It’s the least you can do.