Growth

7 Comments Posted on 27/07/201428/07/2014 Learning, Menu

tidal movements and storms

It is often when you feel strong(er) or grounded, pretty sure that you’ve now attained stability and happiness that, all of sudden, you get swept and shaken by stronger winds, a storm that you didn’t see coming.

It must be for a reason, right? but when it happens, the new storm irritates me immensely as my quiet stability was just a delightful comfort.

And it sounds or feels familiar too! because it always happens! it always comes back. This emotional or psychological challenge knocking to our door.

We are here to expand and stretch and learn more. Yes! Clearly there is not much interest in stagnation. Yes! But how do we keep direction? How do we know for sure that we will survive…this time?

I guess we don’t. we won’t know.

We need to get lost again, in order to go deeper; or higher depending on the image you prefer. Is this a rule? I’m not sure. I only know that’s how it has worked for me. And even though I feel confronted by what is required from me, I am reassured that what I have built until today is solid.

Well… I hope so anyway…

I had an osteopathic session today… My osteopath is an incredible therapist. He works holistically and intuitively. This is the second time I find someone like this. And because he is not a psychologist, he drops little bomb and then keeps working on my body. He goes like this… “your heart chakra seems quite closed. What’s the problem? do you feel unloved or something?”…… hum…yes…no! not really! I’m quite good actually, thank you!”

The thing is though…the body never lies; and the body-work (and my desire to expand) always helps to engage or embrace this challenge.

So I’m here, exhausted by this osteopathic/therapeutic session…and wondering if the tide is coming in or going out. While wondering, might as well take some picture of the view.

Leave a comment Posted on 21/06/201427/06/2014 Menu, Settling in Darwin

home

The other day, it hit me…again.

It was after my short trip to Sydney. A training week end, which went a bit like this: in a plane, out of the plane, taxi, hotel, taxi, training, taxi, hotel, taxi, training, taxi, airport. Didn’t see much of Sydney really!

Not hard to see where I’m heading…

Home…

When I arrived home….Aaah…this feeling of being home! It just hit me…

Isn’t it so lovely, so delicious when you’ve found a home that suits you.

Not just some lovely walls in a lovely neighborhood; it’s more than that… having a loving partner, a safe place to grow…

When you traveled far, and looked a lot…to find yourself lost so many times, not knowing where to go..

Until you find yourself…

When I arrived back home in the middle of the night and looked around, I felt this through every part of my being.

I was home.

via Pinterest

1 Comment Posted on 18/05/201420/05/2014 Learning, Menu

filling the cracks

It’s only since last September that I started to seriously experiment with art, create, play and lose myself in the magical sphere of creative expression. I dedicated a room, proudly calling it my studio. I bought decent acrylic paints… heaps of it. I started with a tiny easel, portable and light, which became too little. My husband then made me a strong easel and an art table. I created that space, knowing very deep that I was going to dive into it…

it?

ART! ART! ART!

Creating, painting, drawing, trying things, learning, copying, stealing ideas, experimenting, mixing things, getting frustrated but persevering, trying new things, getting more frustrated, despairing, finding hope, feeling joyful, and learning new skills of course in the process… but also learning to go deeper, to get closer to the cracks, to just be near them without being overwhelmed.

We were reflecting on what this did to my soul… What art does to us…

We all have some cracks in our heart, in our soul. Some hidden pain, some weird shapes, stain of darkness, that remain there…despite the years and the healing work. Childhood wounding, trauma, or simple process of growing up within a family! I know my cracks; and really thought that I would stay ‘this way’ for my entire life.

Creating art fills the cracks…

it’s like going deep into your heart, checking those cracks, taming them and then working with the blank space, as the negative space in art, by using it as a real tool to make your drawing or painting stronger; with highlights and shades and black! After a while, it seems that the cracks, still present, are filled… the empty spaces that you were aware in the past aren’t empty anymore. The things you so wanted to comprehend are at peace somehow!

This image below came to my mind while writing this. Filling the cracks with gold. One of those things that art does.

image via Pinterest

Happy Sunday Lovely People!

Leave a comment Posted on 30/03/2014 Creative expression, Learning, Menu

a spark

Being part of the helping profession is of great reward. Not always. But at times, you can come across little sparks which give you goose pumps. You know, when you are in that special moment, that something very unique has just happened in front of your eyes, with the help of your guidance or presence. This can be simple, tiny, almost insignificant. And yet, the person in front you touches a crucial part of their own soul at that instant. They’ve become their own friend or self lover again. Their understanding of their inner self has become larger. or clearer. And the river starts flowing again…

I had two sparkly moments this week, in two different occasions, and felt humbled and grateful, re-enforcing why I do what I do.

Such a gift!

Leave a comment Posted on 25/03/201419/04/2014 Creative expression, Menu

A process

The creative process is such an interesting one, certainly not a linear one…
Layers after layers, things keep appearing…

And disappearing.

With finally a sense of direction (after so many despairing moments). I sort of knew where it was going, without knowing at all!

As I’m trying to describe this process for this post, I find it difficult to put in sentence a five-week exercise of acrylic painting. Words aren’t the best option to describe the emotions in relation to creative expression.

Certainly my soul understood!

1 Comment Posted on 01/03/201401/03/2014 Learning, Menu, R+R: Read

Check the compass

In doubt, in fear, in the darkness, alone or among the entire world, with a multitude of questions. or direction. I will always go back to this magnificent book that is Letters to a Young Poet from Rainer Maria Rilke. It works like a compass for me.

from brainpickings.org

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

But recently I found another compass in the book of Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things, advice on life and love from someone who’s been there.

from Goodreads.com

: This book is a gem, right! so clearly, I can’t pick A quote… so here, a few…

The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.

Forgiveness doesn’t sit there like a pretty boy in a bar. Forgiveness is the old fat guy you have to haul up a hill.

The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of it.

Have a lovely week end sweet peas;) (aka Sugar, Tiny Beautiful Things)

Leave a comment Posted on 31/10/201331/10/2013 Learning, Menu, Settling in Darwin

Climbing the mountain

or how to (not) be (so) lost in migration!

I am happy! It doesn’t happen easily to me… but at the moment, I am happy. It could last only a few hours but I am hoping it will stay with me longer. I am hoping that the learned lessons are really integrated and that Happiness is the way. But I also know that wobbliness alongside doubtful thoughts are just behind the corner… It’s called life;) So how do I stay solid and grounded, ready for the next storm? I am not sure..

But I have some ideas…

I have a home again. A house that feels home, with all my things around. With some love and colors on the walls. When I look around, I feel content. I have arrived. As we have recently re-settled in Darwin, these feelings could be simply relating to the end of our relocation from Queensland to the Northern Territory. Having a home is for me definitely one of the key that leads to happiness. Or contentment. It is a bit like coming back to the self. My heart sing and dance and laughs all at once!

I sense there is more to that.. The yearning of a home has been present for a long time. Migrating in another country is a lengthy process of adaptation, with many ups and downs. And while I’m writing this post, I realize that I am now on the other side. It’s been almost four years now that I’ve left New Zealand. It was such a difficult process for me, where I didn’t want to leave the life I had created there. My dear friends. A sense of direction and meaning. And the nurturing beauty of that land that had welcomed me and saw my rebirth.

What I mean by being on the other side is that I think I’ve made it. I climbed the hardest part and am now on the other side. Migrating in another country is like climbing a mountain. Even well equipped and trained, despite a strong desire and a heart full of hope, it will be a difficult climb. And the only thing that helps is time. It is somehow a grieving process…

There is no easy recipe here. To help a grieving process, you simply grieve. In other words and similarly, to help an adaptation process when you migrate in another country, you adapt. You learn about that extra bit of patience that is required from you and that you cannot find anymore. You wait patiently for months and months, while this strange feeling of being an alien, an outsider from everywhere you look, in everyone’s eyes who look at you, keeps creeping at your legs, at your heart, in your mind. You sit there patiently, with your doubts and your misunderstandings, with your broken hopes. And you wonder if you had made the right decision back then. These feelings can accompany you for some time. You will learn about your very own limits. All of them probably. These stages of adaptation can be extremely challenging. It is like loosing your identity, your sense of self. You’ve lost your ground. Everywhere you look is foreign, feels cold. Loneliness is your coat.

It is quite a debilitating experience. And the only advice I would give is make sure you get some help. Don’t wait too long (as I did). Feeling heard, understood and guided is needed during such a lonely experience. Hearing that the way I was feeling was somehow normal reassured me immensely. It offered me a new ground to build on.

Thank you Jacqui!

Part of my pile of books near my bed, is this little book called Just One Thing by Rick Hanson. Little book of wisdom (and practices) to tap into any time. In the intro, it says:

There are three fundamental phases to psychological and spiritual growth: Being with difficult material (e.g. old wounds, anger); Releasing it; and Replacing it with something more beneficial.

To be with it. To let go and to let in. Good advice;)

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Thank you for your response. ✨

4 Comments Posted on 13/10/201314/10/2013 Learning, Menu, Settling in Darwin

A thread

I was reading Flora Bowley’s blog http://braveintuitiveyou.com/ which is always so inspiring, but I got distracted and clicked on a link and landed on Alena Hennessy’s http://www.alenahennessy.com/blog/.

In her post, Alena was telling about the article she wrote for a magazine http://www.alenahennessy.com/art-becomes/ on how blogging changed her life.

I felt encouraged by what I read and had to post a comment to Alena. Little thread that we create and follow..

Here are some of my thoughts that I shared with her.

Like Alena, I was unsure on how to write a blog..and more important, why!! When I started almost a year ago and, as I kept writing posts, despite the encouragements of my friends, I was still going through self doubt. Very perverse self doubt!

I was feeling that no one or only a few friends were reading.. This omnipresent question bugged me. Why did I care?? Now, I love the fact that my friends can access to some more intimate up dates and I really enjoy when I can access to theirs too. I find this is a more genuine way to stay in touch when living overseas. But why was I still wondering why??

You understand that for me, the question ‘why am I writing this blog’ comes regularly. It is a significant point as I often tried to sabotage myself (“who do you think you are”).. I knew where it was coming from, and yet was unable to not feel ashamed.

But through the amazing and inspiring work of amazing and inspiring women, and by that I mean well-known authors like Brene Brown http://brenebrown.com/my-blog/ and artists like Flora and Alena, but also my close friends of many years around the world, I am more solid. I can feel I have now integrated some of the knowledge and wisdom shared by them.. Now when such question arises, I notice myself embracing it as a way of growth, a way to reconnect with my heart, and a way to say to the world, but most to myself, I AM… Amazing, beautiful, capable, powerful…but more important, worth it!!

This blog is in fact helping me to stay on this very track.. If I am interested in getting more readers, my focus changes. Life is a learning and creative process, right!? Writing about my thoughts and realizations, trusting and sharing some of my inner processes, genuinely and with humility, sharing some of my photos and favorite quotes… It simply feels good. And it helps me to grow and to be brave! People reading my blog, it’s like the cherry on the cake! You are my bonus!!!

So I will continue:)

and I hope that, through my words, images or suggested books, you will find too some inspiration.

(and I recommend Brene Brown’s books, because they are really good;)

and

sur le chemin du zigodor