Work

All posts tagged Work

Never Live To Work.

Posted by Karl Weller on August 15, 2024
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I have always resented the concept of a job. Working to achieve something of value to yourself is an admirable pursuit, but the pursuit of monetary satisfaction or worse still, the desire for corporate satisfaction is a concept beyond my comprehension. I have always been of the opinion that a job is an overstated vocation for living, but sadly a society necessity. I work to live, not live to work. This may seem like a paucity of ambition on my part, but unless my job is watching movies, playing games, engaging in occasional excursions through local woodland and afternoon naps, I’m likely never going to find a job that is going to adequately satisfy my proclivities. Having worked in a number of differing corporate environments, it’s disheartening to confess that most, if not all of these places employ the same over zealous mouthpiece, that sacrifice their family, friends and happiness, to satisfy the needs of their employer. Who are more than likely unaware of their sacrifice.

Now there are a number of conflicting characteristics that make each individual distinct, when it comes to being a subordinate for an anonymous company. Some are energetic. Invigorated by their position of authority. Dispensing spirited messages to the troops, like a children’s presenter willing the participants in “Fun House” to victory. Or there’s the ones that demand respect. Those that command a room with intimidation and implementing their coercive practices, that keeps their employees in check. I’ve worked with both, and though their strategies are different, they both strive for perfection, driven by their shared ambition. They’ve tasted the cool aid and are eager for you to do the same. They’re concerned by the state of the company’s financial structure, operational performance and efficiency. They get bogged down in industry terminologies like HR,CSR, KPI and other box ticking acronyms. And they usually want that kind of thing done “ASAP”! They arrive early. Leave late. And are often too busy to take their legally required lunch break, because they are just too darn busy. All while they take extended holidays under the proviso that they are always contactable. And they seem mystified that you don’t share their same lust for work, as well as an inherent enmity for life, friends and family?

Some of these homogeneous middle managers will claim that they are doing this for their family. That the sacrifice of free time will benefit them all. Rubbish. They are doing this for themselves. They crave the power these positions bestow. It validates them as important members of the workforce and as humans beings. I can’t imagine being someone so empty in my own life that this kind of power is something to be so impassioned about. But then again when you’re favourite pastime is doing literally nothing, that shouldn’t be a surprise.

Work Hard, But Play Harder.

Posted by Karl Weller on May 30, 2024
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Let me give you a little insight into my working week. I work Monday to Friday evenings, which means my weekends, though compromised by an overlap into the Saturday morning, results in me retaining much of that time. A luxury few are afforded these days. Albeit in a weary state of lucidity. So the job I do comprises general warehouse chores, but also requires a moderate exposure to external labour. Which when you reside in a country as perennially saturated as England, means you get wet. A lot! Now we are provided with protective clothing that does somewhat reduce the misery of hauling large, cumbersome materials through rain filled chasm on the yard’s surface, that would have drowned Gene Kelly if he had attempted to dance in. But the clothing doesn’t completely negate the temultuous weather either. So you can imagine my much renowned sunny disposition being somewhat eclipsed by a night in torrential rain. Which means it’s important to keep your spirits up wherever possible and by whatever means. For me, much of this catharsis comes from gaming.

My partner is routinely perturbed by my incredulous response to going out. A social abnormality I’ve had to suture for most of my adult life. I’m not opposed to human interaction if the conversations are interesting or I’m at least partially inebriated to feign interest, but most discourse I find repetitious. So to relax I play games. They are a suitable balm for the rigours of a long arduous working week. It’s easy to forget the therapeutic pacifying gaming provides, that it almost entirely neutralises any tumultuous events that have afflicted you that week. So I don’t think it is childish to eagerly anticipate a new release such as the remastered “Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door”. Or even relish in the anticipation of a new game. The comforting embrace of nostalgia offers a relief and a stark reminder that there was a time in your life where the toughest responsibility you had, was what you were going to do with your almost unlimited freedom.

And it’s great you know, to relieve that seemingly brief little snapshot of your adolescence. That escapism goes beyond the simple confines of engaging wholeheartedly in a games world or lore. But can be a manifestation of retreating in a more spiritual capacity. Nostalgia of the purest form really. Memories such as these need to be retained and cherished. Compmentalised recollections that can be accessed at a time, particularly when the weight of the world has grounded you to your knees. And if you can boost these memories via virtual entertainment, then they will remain evergreen. I don’t think it is unhealthy to grasp at these little moments of respite, if it can give you a little boost of adrenaline to the here and now, when things might not always be going your way.

Work Sucks…Again.

Posted by Karl Weller on June 28, 2023
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Another day, another work related lamentation. It’s been a good few months since my last confessional release, but one long overdue. Have you ever had to endure such a torrid time at work, that when you do get the chance to relax and decompress from the work induced bends, you become so overwhelmed by the release of suppressed anxiety, that you openly weep? Not out of joy, nor because of some oppressive sadness. But more as though your body is letting out a huge sigh of relief. It’s difficult to reconcile these emotions without them consuming every ounce of repressed stoicism that has kept them at bay, so as not to burden your family with your problems, and rendering you completely drained. It’s more like a reset than recuperation. Much like switching off your PS5 after a 10 hour long session! Not that I’d know what that was like anymore. It’s just therapeutic to distance yourself from an environment you know is not beneficial for your health. Schedule a plan that involves committing to absolutely nothing.

I’m not going to get into the specifics of what has made my job such a heinous place to inhabit, as to inflict almost daily anxiety. That would require a 100 page dossier containing extensive details about various employees, that in itself would require substantial citations and redactions to ensure the anonymity of the accused is protected. Suffice to say that a week off work has provided much needed relief that even Andy Dufresne could empathize with. Of course the long term solution to such unrelenting adversity would be to find another job. A thought that I am now actively pursuing, though one that requires a judicious approach, uninhibited by impetuous motives. Despite the persistent trauma of my current employment, its flexible working hours, relaxed holiday allocation and convenient location makes it the preferred environment for my family and by extension, myself. But the stresses entailed in my current role often feel interminable.

The week that I had off once again confirmed just how influential my family is to the overall stability of my life. Not just the love and support I receive on an almost daily basis, but also the pervasive knowledge that my job is not a healthy facet to burden one’s self with. That life affords so many distinct alternatives and pleasurable diversions from which to challenge and amuse ourselves. Some people relish the provocations of a high pressure job. Surrounded by the obnoxious cretins that waste their day discussing logistics in pointless meetings, with other equally vacuous and ethically conflicted bureacrats, rather than engaging in physical labor. Not me. It is simply a means to an end. Whereas my family provide an invaluable source of curative invigoration. Nothing epitomises this sense of satisfaction more than my daughter on father’s Day. When she presented me with an obligatory Toblerone, a homemade card with a slightly sinister depiction of Spider-Man and “Fall Guys Bean”. As well as a PlayStation controller fashioned from discarded toilet roll tubes and a warm loving embrace. And considering just how much my daughter despises furnishing me with anything other than good humoured contempt, I don’t think my week off could have peaked any further.

Procrastinate To Accumulate.

Posted by Karl Weller on September 29, 2022
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Procrastination gets a bad rep, arguably for being the very antithesis of efficiency. Often derided as a malignant affliction that ironically stimulates those apathetic inclinations we are told to ignore. I have always been of the persuasion that distraction is healthy for the mind. A small respite from a laborious task is a practical tangent from monotony. Too often we apply such a stringent order to our work or even simple necessary tasks around the home, that permits a limited capacity for autonomy. It’s only natural that we seek an alternative to the stubborn regulations we impose on ourselves. That isn’t how I have ever operated, much to the chagrin of my partner.

She has always been very organised. Meticulous in her arrangements. Entreating the priority of logistical planning. Impulse is not an instinct readily relied upon, unless thoroughly discussed beforehand. If an errand is to be completed, however trivial it may be, it must observe the stipulated parameters rigidly imposed in advance. She doesn’t understand how I can deviate from even the simplest tasks. How I can turn a swift excursion to purchase a loaf of bread, into an epic journey to destroy an enchanted ring. I might decide to peruse a second hand book store for any potential reading material. Or indulge in some delectable pastries and cakes from the bakery. Or maybe I just feel inclined to stroll around town, with no discernible destination in mind.

The notion of enacting arbitrary restrictions on errands, is what turns work into work. I know I couldn’t survive the monotony of a work day, if I was thoroughly engrossed in my job. Engaging in nonsensical discourse with colleagues, reciting often obscure movie quotes or discussing the intricacies of Monica Bellucci’s evergreen beauty, are the types of procrastination that expedites an otherwise boring day. Perhaps I lack the necessary discipline to truly embrace the efficacy of work. But to prioritise one set objective, without the latitude to acquiesce seems counter intuitive. If anything trying to accomplish that objective with such rigid variables makes you less efficient.

There’s a critical distinction between procrastination and spontaneity, with the callous assessment being that spontaneity is somehow eccentric or intuitive. Whereas procrastination is undertaken at the detriment to the user. It really is the dim witted cousin of the more pithy “spontaneity”. The Scooby-Dum if you will. That it fosters apathy and disseminates negativity. That it’s a wilful pursuit, instigated to avoid or postpone duties you are obligated to consummate. Which it is. But it shouldn’t be considered a refusal to undertake difficult or boring tasks, but a reprieve from them. As long as the task is completed, what does it matter if it has been achieved in a less than timely manner?

In all honesty, I’ve been known to procrastinate from procrastination. I might sit down to play a game, only to spend 30 of those rare allocated minutes on my phone. Or reading a book. Or laying on my sofa not thinking about much of anything. Life’s too short to worry about how structured our lives are. Let’s embrace our mercurial ways and diminish the tedium that threatens to consume us.

My Job And Why I still Hate It.

Posted by Karl Weller on September 30, 2021
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For the past year or so, I have been very sincere in regards to the growing contempt I foster for my current job. Detailing the particulars in very forthright and earnest manner, in an attempt to liberate some sense of catharsis from the whole ordeal. This blog, originally intended as a source for obscure gaming eccentricity, has swiftly descended into a journal documenting my slump into melancholy. But the rate at which my patience to endure my job is being tested, has elevated with such consistency that it may as well be written into my contract.

The provocation for this current entry was a verbal altercation with a supervisor. A boorish, narcissistic oath, with all wit and humility of a Trump speech. The kind of guy that would pick a fight with someone weaker than them to demonstrate his superiority. Though only really succeeding in exposing his insecurities. An already established buffoon amongst the collective faculty, elevated to a position of power through intimidation, “working” extra hours and being loud. But he also commands the loyalty of a small contingent of impressionable youngster’s who frankly don’t know any better. In any case, I have low tolerance for the blustering of a deranged megalomaniac. Particularly one looking to rile up other employees.

The specifics of our now venerated dispute are immaterial really. Just the mundane office politics that pivoted into the agitated ramblings of an egotist losing control. Fundamentally it was a discourse concluded with an intermediary and begrudging handshake. Nothing that a enough time and aggressive music couldn’t placate. But when I reflect on it now, what angers me most isn’t the antagonistic nature of the exchange, but that I even felt compelled to retaliate at all.

The trouble is when someone comes at me with such indignant ferocity, I resist. In much the same way as a cliched movie President will dramatically declare that he won’t comply with terrorists demands; I don’t negotiate with bullies. But my defiance provided little advantage, only succeeding in feeding his delusion and bolstering his considerable hubris. While at the same time etching a permanent scowl across my face. With the rest of my body reciprocating that grimace, feeling taught and tense.

This is the kind of place where this hyper masculine behaviour is encouraged, nurtured and propagated. He is a product of an environment he himself has fostered. But at the end of this all I can leave this place. Safe in the knowledge that as soon as I inhale that fresh air, any festering agitation will be relieved. A grievance only further mitigated by listening to one of my daughter’s many hilarious anecdotes and observations. With the only lingering memory of the whole sordid affair, being pity for a man so desperate for validation that he would deliberately instigate an argument to make himself feel superior. Sad.