Living

All posts tagged Living

Money And Why I Don’t Care.

Posted by Karl Weller on May 16, 2025
Posted in: Feature. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

Money, money, money. A fleeting commodity that only seems to get more elusive. Now personally I’m not someone overly concerned with its accumulation. Wealth, or in my case, the absence of it is not something I aspire to. Now perhaps things would be easier if I was driven by affluence. The pursuit of material possessions or just a healthy balance for a potential retirement. Perhaps. But would I be happier? Honestly, I don’t think so. Sure it would be convenient not to have to worry about a mortgage, utilities bills or the seemingly fluctuating economy that rids you of your hard earned graft. But why subject myself to the misery of the rat race, when time is the only valuable resource.

My partner often mistakes my inactivity for laziness. Which often prompts her to impose various household jobs to occupy myself during my supposed “downtime”. Now I understand the confusion, I have attempted to explain on multiple occasions that my reserve of energy is greatly reduced by the exertion I yield during my nocturnal job. Essentially emphasize the fact that I’m bloody tired. Her day is finished. Any additional tasks that she undertakes are approached under the proviso that she can stop, rest and not have to worry about expelling anymore energy if she doesn’t want. I however do not have that luxury. Imagine if I made a concerted effort to pursue more money? To forsake my time, family and possibly my weekend doing a job I’m only doing because of how much money I could earn?

I get so little time as it is, with my weekends compromised by working late. Finishing at 3:30am on a Saturday morning does severely limit my prospects with the family. Most of that time is spent recovering from the fatigue of the previous evening. So dedicating more of my time to another job I hate, purely for financial assurance is just not interesting to me. Because I’ve discovered over the years that there isn’t any job that I’d enjoy doing, regardless of what the money is. Unless the job involves reclining on my sofa, watching movies, drinking copious amounts of tea and waiting for all this to blow over!

Is Gaming Only For The Rich?

Posted by Karl Weller on May 9, 2025
Posted in: Feature. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

It’s fair to say that my zest for gaming has somewhat diminished over the past year. Now that’s not to say that there aren’t games that I would like to play. “Monster Hunter Wild” is still permeating as my next potential addiction. The “Elder Scrolls Oblivion” Remake is a wonderful, if curious surprise that I’d be very interested to explore. GTA VI, which last week received its obligatory delay is now 12 months away. Though I have my Switch 2 pre-order ready for next month’s release, that’s really a console used to entertain the family, rather than a system to absorb myself into. But aside from that I find there is little to be excited for in this industry. Now this doesn’t mean there aren’t great games being released, but with the looming industry rise in software cost potentially crippling the more casual consumer, you do start to wonder if you are being priced out.

It is such a huge risk now. Time as well as financial limitations dictate this hobby, especially at my age. If I’m not working, which currently involves overnight shifts, I’m sleeping. Which again requires me to sleep during the day. Then most of my time is dictated by family responsibilities. So finding any time to immerse myself in a game, particularly expansive open world RPG’s, with branching quests and narratives is a tricky thing to navigate. Particularly when you consider that the only time I get for myself is in the evenings. So because of work, I only get weekend evenings. By which time I’m liable to fall asleep with my character standing there, tapping his foot in frustration and tapping his imaginary wristwatch, wondering why I’ve abandoned him in a troll infested cave for 3 hours. And there’s the cost. What if by some miracle I’ve found the time to indulge in this expensive hobby? Can I really risk spending £70 on a game I don’t like?

Sure you can take the time to read reviews, gauge some kind of insight from public opinion. Even relying on instinct to make an informed decision. But that doesn’t guarantee you’ll like it. I was convinced that I’d love “Balders Gate 3”. Everything I’d read and heard suggested as much. And though I respected the game and the developers remit when it comes to creating games, I just couldn’t get into it. Now that’s not necessarily the games fault, and certainly more of a “me” problem. But it is still a lot of money to spend on a game you are not enjoying. It used to be that you could rent a game, a process that would give you ample time to assess whether a game was right for you. But even if renting was still such a thing, you’ve now got to find £80 worth of disposable income to purchase it.

Never Live To Work.

Posted by Karl Weller on August 15, 2024
Posted in: Feature. Tagged: , , , , . Leave a comment

I have always resented the concept of a job. Working to achieve something of value to yourself is an admirable pursuit, but the pursuit of monetary satisfaction or worse still, the desire for corporate satisfaction is a concept beyond my comprehension. I have always been of the opinion that a job is an overstated vocation for living, but sadly a society necessity. I work to live, not live to work. This may seem like a paucity of ambition on my part, but unless my job is watching movies, playing games, engaging in occasional excursions through local woodland and afternoon naps, I’m likely never going to find a job that is going to adequately satisfy my proclivities. Having worked in a number of differing corporate environments, it’s disheartening to confess that most, if not all of these places employ the same over zealous mouthpiece, that sacrifice their family, friends and happiness, to satisfy the needs of their employer. Who are more than likely unaware of their sacrifice.

Now there are a number of conflicting characteristics that make each individual distinct, when it comes to being a subordinate for an anonymous company. Some are energetic. Invigorated by their position of authority. Dispensing spirited messages to the troops, like a children’s presenter willing the participants in “Fun House” to victory. Or there’s the ones that demand respect. Those that command a room with intimidation and implementing their coercive practices, that keeps their employees in check. I’ve worked with both, and though their strategies are different, they both strive for perfection, driven by their shared ambition. They’ve tasted the cool aid and are eager for you to do the same. They’re concerned by the state of the company’s financial structure, operational performance and efficiency. They get bogged down in industry terminologies like HR,CSR, KPI and other box ticking acronyms. And they usually want that kind of thing done “ASAP”! They arrive early. Leave late. And are often too busy to take their legally required lunch break, because they are just too darn busy. All while they take extended holidays under the proviso that they are always contactable. And they seem mystified that you don’t share their same lust for work, as well as an inherent enmity for life, friends and family?

Some of these homogeneous middle managers will claim that they are doing this for their family. That the sacrifice of free time will benefit them all. Rubbish. They are doing this for themselves. They crave the power these positions bestow. It validates them as important members of the workforce and as humans beings. I can’t imagine being someone so empty in my own life that this kind of power is something to be so impassioned about. But then again when you’re favourite pastime is doing literally nothing, that shouldn’t be a surprise.

Procrastinate To Accumulate.

Posted by Karl Weller on September 29, 2022
Posted in: Feature. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Procrastination gets a bad rep, arguably for being the very antithesis of efficiency. Often derided as a malignant affliction that ironically stimulates those apathetic inclinations we are told to ignore. I have always been of the persuasion that distraction is healthy for the mind. A small respite from a laborious task is a practical tangent from monotony. Too often we apply such a stringent order to our work or even simple necessary tasks around the home, that permits a limited capacity for autonomy. It’s only natural that we seek an alternative to the stubborn regulations we impose on ourselves. That isn’t how I have ever operated, much to the chagrin of my partner.

She has always been very organised. Meticulous in her arrangements. Entreating the priority of logistical planning. Impulse is not an instinct readily relied upon, unless thoroughly discussed beforehand. If an errand is to be completed, however trivial it may be, it must observe the stipulated parameters rigidly imposed in advance. She doesn’t understand how I can deviate from even the simplest tasks. How I can turn a swift excursion to purchase a loaf of bread, into an epic journey to destroy an enchanted ring. I might decide to peruse a second hand book store for any potential reading material. Or indulge in some delectable pastries and cakes from the bakery. Or maybe I just feel inclined to stroll around town, with no discernible destination in mind.

The notion of enacting arbitrary restrictions on errands, is what turns work into work. I know I couldn’t survive the monotony of a work day, if I was thoroughly engrossed in my job. Engaging in nonsensical discourse with colleagues, reciting often obscure movie quotes or discussing the intricacies of Monica Bellucci’s evergreen beauty, are the types of procrastination that expedites an otherwise boring day. Perhaps I lack the necessary discipline to truly embrace the efficacy of work. But to prioritise one set objective, without the latitude to acquiesce seems counter intuitive. If anything trying to accomplish that objective with such rigid variables makes you less efficient.

There’s a critical distinction between procrastination and spontaneity, with the callous assessment being that spontaneity is somehow eccentric or intuitive. Whereas procrastination is undertaken at the detriment to the user. It really is the dim witted cousin of the more pithy “spontaneity”. The Scooby-Dum if you will. That it fosters apathy and disseminates negativity. That it’s a wilful pursuit, instigated to avoid or postpone duties you are obligated to consummate. Which it is. But it shouldn’t be considered a refusal to undertake difficult or boring tasks, but a reprieve from them. As long as the task is completed, what does it matter if it has been achieved in a less than timely manner?

In all honesty, I’ve been known to procrastinate from procrastination. I might sit down to play a game, only to spend 30 of those rare allocated minutes on my phone. Or reading a book. Or laying on my sofa not thinking about much of anything. Life’s too short to worry about how structured our lives are. Let’s embrace our mercurial ways and diminish the tedium that threatens to consume us.

How Blogging Has Changed For Me.

Posted by Karl Weller on March 10, 2020
Posted in: Feature. Tagged: , , , , , . Leave a comment

When I started this blog some 9 years ago, I did so with the intention of extracting those odd little ponderings that rattled around in my head like scurrying, directionless gerbils. A place to express, discuss and frankly bitch indiscriminately about anything and everything that annoyed me. With the veiled attempt to become a world renowned authority on “the games”, that the discerning connoisseurs of the gaming firmament would revere with fervant admiration. Of course that hasn’t happened, as most people care very little about my absurd musings, least of all me. I possess neither the talent nor motivation to achieve such ambitious goals and I’m more than content to waffle on about my interests with little engagement from the community. There are people out there in the boundless, abstract ether with an encyclopedial knowledge of a subject, or at least a committed attention to procuring material that they can reference too, and provide engaging, objective insight into their opinions. I’m far to lazy for that. I’ve always written things that interest me. And even though I still struggle to accurately compose articulate, meaningful and at times irreverent content that reflects my opinions, as well as all too often consulting a thesaurus to compensate for the lack of direction in my articles, it hasn’t prevented me from trying. The method of developing an idea into a fully structured narrative is still immensely satisfying to me. But over time it does get harder to commit to. Especially when it isn’t a source of income.

In the early days I was eager to assauge a non existent audience by creating 3-4 vaguely interesting posts a week. Thinking that consistency and volume were the same thing I persevered, reasoning that this is how you create a successful blog. After a while though this balance reduced to 2-3, until eventually–for the benifit of my own failing sanity–I only published once a week. Logistically speaking it just wasn’t viable for me to schedule 2-3 opinion pieces a week without severely compromising the integrity of whatever point I was trying to make. The burgeoning tribulations of my job along with domestic responsibilities prevent me from writing with any reliable cohesion. Not that much of what I write has much substance or cohesion, but it did begin to feel like a chore and I didn’t want a hobby to feel like a job. Also, what I was writing became far more personal.

Life isn’t static. Priorities change. And in the context of this blog it was evident that my strengths didn’t truly reflect what I was blithering on about. There are hundreds of reactionary sites, dedicated to giving readers up to the minute news, speculations and expert insight with a rigerous immediacy I can’t compete with. Games, as important as they are to me, don’t monopolise my time as much as they used to. So it would be specious reasoning to presume that any objective view I have on some industry gossip has any merit when gaming is a much more casual affair to me now. The rigours of life tend to regulate what interests me. Family, work and the general routine of life dictate how I engage with my limited, though intelligent audience.

Life has the potential to be treacherous. It gives and it takes. Sometimes it takes more than it gives. It’s rarely receptive to your desires. I doubt I’ll ever stop gaming. Nor writing for that matter. Trouble is they aren’t always mutually exclusive.