Read this today in another journal:

"I've wanted to kill myself since 4th grade. Why didn't I? I don't know. Some people say it's because I have guts, I'm strong enough to face life. It might be because I'm chicken, I'm not strong enough to face death. It's hard to say. A friend of mine used to always tell me not to think like that, "Killing yourself isn't the answer". Last January he killed himself. I couldn't believe it. Even now I find myself in denial. I was in so much more pain after that, I knew I couldn't do the same thing to my friends. When stuff gets fucked, I out of habit think "just do it, chicken shit", but always have to stop myself. Yeah, life can be seriously painful, but ending your own pain inflicts it onto everyone else times 100. It's so selfish... I watched his death start a chain reaction -- so many other people like me admitted to the hospital. God, there was a suicide attempt at his funeral. I think to myself all the time, "if I love my frineds, I won't put them throught what he put me through." So far, it's been enough."

How true. I think often.