This really cracked me up and reminded me of the good ol' days when I was studying biology.

"I'm looking for a man to photophosphorylate me all night long.

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body. My stroma is leaking all over the place. We can do it in the alpha or beta configuration, whichever you prefer. You whip me with your flagellum,tubulin subunits flying everywhere. We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after. Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean. I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid. Pump me up and down your concentration gradient, letting the chemiosmosis take control. I can go both ways,just like an amphipathic phospholipid. Do you like aerobic respirationas much as I do?

Let me know if this makes you secrete."