Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine-year-old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"

The nine-year-old replies, "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded, "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine-year-old responded, "Nope, not for my sister either."

The cashier had now become curious. "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister -- then who are they for?"

The nine-year old says, "They're for my four-year-old little brother."

The cashier is surprised: "Your four year-old-brother?"

The nine-year-old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike -- and my little brother can't do either of those things."

This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

"A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the
other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
Then the husband died and as the first to go and true to his word, he made
contact:
'Mary ... Mary ....'
'Is that you, Fred?'
'Yes, I've come back like we agreed.'
'What's it like?'
'Well, I get up early in the morning. I have sex. I have breakfast, then I'm
out on the golf course. After that, I have sex again. By then it's lunch. I
bathe in the sun for an hour, then I have sex again before another romp
around the golf course. After supper, there's more sex. The next day it starts
again.'
'Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.'
'Not exactly Mary, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Florida.' "