Another mixed bag from Pensitivity101 last week. What would you say these words mean/are?
As always, I’ll be a week late with my untruths!

1. Census

Those are the pennies that the Canadian mint no longer produces.

2. Probate

That’s when you don’t dig your own dew-worms for fishing, but have to buy them at the fishing tackle shop.

3. Bayou

I think that it’s a compulsive shopper who is addicted to Amazon, but Google claims that it’s one of the women who helped sew up some famous tapestry.

4. Crackerjack

(S)He’s a chiropractor.  If you think that I make strange, creaking and popping  noises when I stand or walk, you should hear the concerto that I produce when Doc Bones tries to Bend me – Shape Me.

5. Chirrup

One of the two things that hang down each side of a horse, to help you keep your fat ass in the saddle.
Also see: Ob-Gyn – Pap smear.

6. Fermium

It’s a French word of command.  Usage – Fermium la bouche!  Translation: Shut the Hell up!  Fermium la porte!  Translation:  I’m not heating the entire neighbourhood!

7. Surcingle

The perpetually ‘Nice Guy’ who is still permanently unmarried.

8. Withe

An astute sage with a bad lisp.  Isn’t it ironic that there’s an S in the word lisp?

9. Gainsay

Those that can – do!  Those that can’t – teach.  Those who can’t even do that – often get paid to lecture about it and give advice.
Reference – Catholic priests and birth control.

10. Titular

Someone like the big noise down at Sammy’s Strip Shoppe.  He’s the titular owner.