Historical Blog Prompt

What major historical events do you remember?

I CANNOT TELL A LIE

Of course I can!  I’ve been doing it since long before I started blogging.  Despite previous claims, I’m not really older than dirt, and didn’t know any T-Rex by their first names.

I was born at the end of 1944.  I don’t remember any of WW II, but I do remember the rationing that lasted for several years past the end of it.  It’s why we discovered margarine and powdered skim-milk, which we switched to.

I kinda, sorta, remember the Korean War.  An older cousin joined the Canadian Air Force, and was trained to fly the first jet planes.  He was the first pilot in Canada to crash because of G-force unconsciousness.  The Korean War is still ongoing.  There was a cease-fire – an armistice – but 70 years later, it is still valid and unresolved.

I remember the space race, where the US started out behind, but came on, to put a man on the moon first.  Modern society benefitted greatly from discoveries and developments, like miniaturization of computers, microwaves, and food-drying techniques, but when the political-manufacturing combine couldn’t easily wring more money out of it, they set it on a shelf, waiting for some crazed genius like Elon Musk to come along.

I remember the Cuban revolution, where a corrupt, repressive Banana Republic, capitalist government was replaced with a corrupt, repressive, Communist one.  Americans took their dolls and went home – except for Guantanamo Bay – leaving more room on the beaches for Canadians.

I remember the Cuban missile crisis, where Russia attempted to put nuclear weapons on America’s back door.  The heroic, King of Camelot, president, John F. Kennedy stood firm and prevented it.  The Russians, as a culture, are very insecure, and worried that other peoples regard them as unsophisticated peasants.  They didn’t even have an alphabet or written language until about AD 400, when St Cyril wrote one on a mirror for them.  Russian president, Nikita Khrushchev, took off one of his shoes, and pounded on the lectern at the United Nations.  Nothing shows the level of sophistication better than that.

Suddenly, it was a time for famous Americans to die before their time.  John F. Kennedy was assassinated.  His younger brother Robert F. Kennedy was shot dead, civil-rights activist Martin Luther King was gunned down, and even-younger Kennedy brother, Ted, accidently drowned Mary-Jo Kopechne, while trying to baptize her by driving off a bridge after a party.

The day that JFK was assassinated, I was writing a grade 11 history exam.  Our history teacher, who also taught us English, burst into the examination room and announced, “While you’re writing about history, history was being made.  President Kennedy was shot.”  He stood there for at least 15 seconds, in front of 30 gape-jawed, but silent faces, and finally asked, “What??!”  The keener girl said, “Is he dead?”  “Of course he’s dead.  I just told you that.”  “No sir, you said he’d BEEN SHOT!”  Not very good communication or English usage from an English teacher.

I watched the Berlin wall go up, and experienced the Berlin Blockade, when Russia tried to strangle West Berlin by closing East German highways to supply trucks.  I cheered as thousands of cargo planes flew over the blockade in the Berlin Airlift.  I watched as The Wall was pulled down, years later, and the SSRs splintered like flakes in a snow globe.

Somewhere along the line, Billy Joel wrote and performed the song, We Didn’t Start The Fire, about 50 years of this history.  Fundamentalist Christian Buy-Bull thumpers are forever insisting that we are in The Last Days, but we are always living in Interesting Times.

Tie One On

necktie

In a hot desert country not long ago, a shopkeeper set up his stall. The man sold ties. He had ties of every variety: thin ones, wide ones, ones with stripes, others with polka dots.

On a hot, scorching day, the shopkeeper saw a cloud of dust in the horizon. As the cloud of dust of approached, the shopkeeper saw it was a man stumbling across the desert.

The traveler said, “I’ve been traveling across the desert and I’m dying of thirst. Do you have any water?”

The shopkeeper said, “Sorry, I don’t have any water. I’m out of water, but would you like to buy a tie. I have wide ones, thin ones, stripes and ones with dots.”

“I don’t need a tie. I’m dying of thirst. I need water.”

“I don’t have water but there’s a village about a mile away, and I know it has a restaurant.” So, he sent the thirsty man away.

About an hour later the shopkeeper sees another dust cloud on the horizon. It’s the same thirsty man crawling on his hands and knees.

The shopkeeper asks, “Couldn’t you find the restaurant?”

The thirsty man sighs. “The restaurant wouldn’t let me in without a tie.”

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Jokes you can bank on.

Q: How many bankers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try to remember the combination.

Open For Business

Did you hear the one about the bank where the employees went on strike, leaving the bank officers to do the teller’s tasks?

While the strike was on, a customer called the bank to ask if they were open. They told her that they had two windows open.

Then the caller asked, “Can’t I just come through the front door?”

Banking Crisis Looming in Japan

According to the latest reports, a major banking crisis is imminent in Japan.

The crisis began last week following news that Origami Bank had folded.  Now we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank is planning to cut back some of its branches.

Rumor has it that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and could be had for a song.

During trading today shares in Kamikaze Bank nose-dived. Latest reports say that 500 back-office staff are on the chopping block at Karate Bank.

Further analysts have reported that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank –staff fear they may be in for a raw deal.

Thought for the Week

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”  ~ attributed to both Mark Twain and Robert Frost

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This post is number 666 from my Word files – no joke.  You’ve been warned.   😆