Comparisons

The weekly newsletter from James Clear is a truly a breath of fresh air. Greatful for his wise words. This idea made a lot of sense to me today.

“You have to run your own race. Problems begin the moment you start comparing your results to someone who is playing under different conditions.

  • The 40-year-old entrepreneur with three kids has different constraints than the single 27-year-old.
  • A painter with 20 years of practice shouldn’t be the benchmark for someone in year two.
  • Someone caring for aging parents is not in the same position as someone with no obligations outside work.

Play your own game. Emphasize gradual progress and keep the comparison internal. Are you getting a little better today?”

Community

Last Sunday, the desi community celebrated Diwali by coming togehter for an evening of dance, music, food and friends. It’s an annual event that musters sizeable gathering. I do my part to organize this event. On the day of the event itself, my favorite part is to help with the set up and decorations. It brings up a slice of childhood for me when I would accompany Aundu patti, my paternal grandma for weddings. I tagged along with her to the mandapam ahead of the event and just soaked in the festivities, chatter, and the gathering. Gone are those days! It was fun when it lasted and I am greatful that there are similiar experiences that delight me. Coming back to the point, I love participating in these activities because of the people I work with. Nothing like bonding over a shared activity or values. While I don’t think of myself as an extrovert, I do thrive on meaningful connections, friendships and that sense of belonging to the community. Incredibly greatful for the opportunities that come along my way.

One-Stop Shop

Today’s gratitude goes to Costco. We didn’t shop at Costco for the longest time. We never understood what the big deal was? That is, until we started shopping at the store a few years back. Fairly standard merchandize, not overwhelming variety. We know what to buy and what to stay away from. From produce to cleaning supplies to medicines to clothing to gadgets, you get them all under one roof. Better still, our Costco has a significant variety of Indian groceries. I never would have imagined that gulab jamun and mysore pak are things that I woudl shop at Costco . What is not to love about that!

Hand-me-downs

One hour before the child had to leave for his Model UN conference, he comes up to me and says, “Mom I need a blazer.” “What? Really? You need to wear formals today? Do you have formal pants? I need to iron your shirt. ” the words start tumbling out of my mouth. The child has guilt written all over his face. “But you didn’t wear it last time?” “That’s because I went to the conference straight from sleep over and borrowed my friend’s tie. ” Ayoo da….! parental failure at so many levels. After heaving a sigh, we let bygones be bygones and rolled up our sleeves to do the next sensible thing – go ransack Hari’s wardrobe! Between both their wardrobes, within the next half an hour the child was dressed in tip top formals.

Shout out to Hari’s hand-me-down that has saved the day for us on more than one occassion. Greatful that things fell in place.

Happenstance

This evening I am recollecting things that happened to me by pure happenstance and my heart is swelling with gratitude.

Two friends, one knew an elegible bachelor and another a possible bride. And that’s the story of how our marriage was arranged! Of all the men that I could have married, I feel so fortunate that it is Da who I ended up with.

My childhood friend and I landed in the same city in the same year. She is now living on the same street that I do. My life is many times richer because of these lucky coincidences.

Several years back my entire team including my boss was let go. I had to figure out my place in the company. I took a chance and reached out to someone I had crossed path with. It was like throwing darts in the dark but little did I know that I had landed on a bullseye. I feel fortunate to have crossed path with my now manager. She is gem of a person, not to mention what an authentic, thoughtful and strong leader she is.

Writing a blog and forming some close friendships – Laksh, UL, Shy, and LG. It sure feels like we have grown up together.

Last year, I uncovered a community of meditators through the MBSR program. I don’t know anyone in that community nor do I expect to form friendships but it is this overall sense of coming together as a humanity to just be that is theraputic.

Just this Breath by Donna Faulds

Greatful for writers and their uplifting words! I have heard this poem a few times, and wanted to share it here.

Settle in the here and now.
Reach down into the center
where the world is not spinning
and drink this holy peace.

Feel relief flood into every
cell. Nothing to do. Nothing
to be but what you are already
Nothing to receive but what
flows effortlessly from the
mystery into form

Nothing to run from or run
toward. Just this breath,
Awareness knowing itself as
embodiment. Just this breath,
awareness waking up to truth.

Cherished Blessing

Ram turned 15 this September. I feel the same way that I did when he turned 6, 7, 8 or 10. That he is growing up and how did we get this lucky! This year he started high school. He is making choices on what, where and how he spends his time. It feels like he is leaning towards having a balance – some stretch goals, keeping up with grades but not spreading himself too thin although there is a never ending list of things to do on any given day. To have him by your side is to have someone with a sharp presence of mind, strong problem solving skills, and a compassionate heart. He does not like things imposed on him nor being taken for granted. He is a dependable friend and has a method to his madness. We disagree a lot, have honest conversations, and show each other grace. He is my favorite cuddle bug and my binge watching partner. I have broken all parenting rules with him letting him watch shows that I never let Hari watch, and letting him stay up late on school days.  He takes delight in cooking and is generous with sharing his food with you. He is the best gift giver I know, coming up with thoughtful ways to make us feel special on special days. He has a mischievously loving bond with Hari.

I am eternally grateful for the privilege of raising this child and for this cherished blessing.

I would have liked to write this post on his birthday but I seem to have lost the habit of writing. This morning I was revisiting the older Ram Leela posts. And what a delight it was! These were moments that brought much joy and had meaning. I am so grateful that I captured them here. Maybe it will motivate me to pick up my writing habit? 

My cup of tea

My morning call is just done. I heat my cup of tea and attempt to make it slightly frothy with the help of a tumbler. I cup my hands and take a sip. I revel in holding the hot tumbler and the steam rising from the tea as I bring it closer to my lips. The hot sweet liquid leaves an aftertaste that I am not quite sure whether I like or not. But the totality of the experience hits the spot. 

Replace tea with anything you are doing in the moment… just casually, lightly pay attention to the details of what you are doing. Allow yourself to be immersed in it, not as a goal that must be achieved but as an experiment to explore a different way of living. See where it takes you. 

I am leaving you with a verse by the Vietnamese Monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. Don’t get bogged down by the lines that don’t resonate. Just enjoy the ones that do resonate. 

Tea is an act complete in its simplicity.

When I drink tea, there is only me and the tea.

The rest of the world dissolves.

There are no worries about the future.

No dwelling on past mistakes.

Tea is simple: loose leaf tea, hot pure water, a cup.

I inhale the scent, tiny delicate pieces of the tea floating above the cup.

I drink the tea, the essence of the leaves becoming a part of me.

I am informed by the tea, changed.

This is the act of life, in one pure moment, and in this act the truth of the world suddenly becomes revealed: all the complexity, pain, drama of life is a pretense, invented in our minds for no good purpose.

There is only the tea, and me, converging.~ Thich Nhat Hanh