Christmas Spirit

A few weeks back, I summoned the older child to decorate our Christmas Tree and the child asked, “do you think we could get a smaller Christmas tree next year.” A few days later, the second child said, I still would like gifts from “Santa”. We indulged in holiday brunch at a local diner this morning. The boys baked cookies for “Santa” and we are now binging on the Cloud 9 Superstore show on Hulu. I spy some presents under the tree. 

To those of you that celebrate, a Very Merry Christmas! May you get to rest, relax and soak in the Christmas spirit.

Little Moments in India

Recounting little moments from my India trip

  • Watching Sa-Re-Ga-Ma show with appa and amma
  • Mylapore shopping with amma
  • Saree and telephone shopping 
  • Seeing my cousins and getting to know my nieces
  • White kurma, illu sevai, and multiple versions of good old kathirkai
  • Just watching the city buzzing around you from the cab
  • The lovely Chennai weather in November 
  • Experiencing monsoon season even if it meant we were indoors
  • Meeting my high school friends and getting to know their families
  • Meeting my colleagues in Chennai
  • Sight seeing with my colleagues in Delhi
  • Eating kulfi from a matka
  • Going to Gurudwara
  • Going to Triplicane Parthasarthy temple with appa, amma, and athai
  • My athai showing me all the things that I bought for her over our visits and how she has been using them
  • The pavazaha malli in our house garden 
  • Reading the physical newspaper daily. It all came back to me, the India I grew up in!
  • The breakfast buffet at Westin… oh my the spread, never have I regretted  having only one stomach 
  • Just watching my parents doing their every day things
  • Spending karthigai day with appa amma 

Greatful to the universe for making this trip happen and to the family for holding down the fort. 

Breaking Free from The Time Warp

I left India when I was 23. I left India at a time in my life when most of the people that I interacted with – be it my coworker or the autokara anna – were older to me. Although I have visited India multiple times over the course of two decades, it’s the India from the late 90s and 2000 that is stuck in my head. Over these trips, I lamented about how expensive things are compared to when I grew up. It took a lot to hold my tongue from calling the auto driver as anna, who was likely decades younger to me. You see I have barely lived in India as a local in my adult years. So the transition from being young to becoming older in India never happened. But this time it was different.

I went by myself, without much travel commitments, solely to spend time with my parents. In the process, I lived like a local for those two weeks that I was in Chennai. I made micro connections during my stay.  The iron man Babu, who addressed me as akka. The tailor who called me madam. The colleagues who looked up to me. I got a better sense of the cost of living in India. One entree can cost 190 to 300 rupees in a regular restaurant. One doctor visit can cost from 125 to 2000 depending on where you go and who you are consulting with. I read newspapers daily from cover to cover and understood the real estate dynamics and the culture dynamics. I watched movies with appa and amma on Netflix and was surprised that Pradeep Rangarajan was growing on me. 

I would say breaking free from the time warp was one of the highlights of the trip that I am grateful for. 

The GIG and Service Economy 

This India visit, I was blown away with how much of India runs on the GIG and Service economy. I am not talking just about the Ubers, Olas and RedTaxi. That service is available all around the world. But if you need groceries, you can get it in 8 minutes without stepping out of your house! A senior citizen at home needs help filling a form in the bank, the Customer Relationship Manager will come to your house with a laptop. Have a blouse that needs to be picked up? You can have it delivered via Porter. Need blood work done, the lab assistant will schedule an in-home visit. 

There is also soft help that you get based on relationships and goodness of heart. Like the courier guy who comes drenched in rain and does not charge you for packing. The local grocer who will deliver groceries to your house if it is heavy for you to carry. The cell phone guy who remembers your parents from their visit three years back and goes above and beyond to set up the phone this time. The doctor who does not charge you for the visit. 

Of course, I make it sound like this is a way of life for everyone in India or that it is hassle free living in India. Far from that. The gig economy and service economy needs purchasing power. For every good samaritan, there are ten others who are exploiting your helplessness. So, that’s the thing, you cannot have one without the other, right? 

Daily Temple Visits

There are certain things you can do only in India. Like visiting multiple temples as part of your everyday routine. This is precisely what I did during my India trip.

I would head out around 8ish in the morning, first stop to colony kovil. I love this small temple, especially the sincerity of the gurukkal, who does deepa aradanai for the Pillayar and Anjaneeyar, visitor by visitor. You feel so respected as a devotee. You feel like going to the temple, again and again. 

My next step would be to the Ramar kovil. The ommachi statues are divine and you can spend all day adoring them. The structure of the temple – part open, part closed – is another feature I love. The gurukkals here though have strict dos and don’ts in the temple. I will confess that I found it stifling for the first few visits but then it grew on me and I learnt to work my way around it. I was fascinated with how the regulars in the temples  took it upon themselves to enforce the dos and don’t on newbies like me. They have been well trained!

The temple was such a conducive place to be grounded in the present moment. There was something to appeal to each of my senses. I would sit crisscross on the ground and let my senses take over me. The nice concrete floor that I sat on was so sturdy,  so stable, so supportive. That sense of being held by Mother Earth. As I closed my eyes, I would focus on the different sounds – sometimes it was ringing of the temple bells and drums, overlaid by the bells from the aradhania, complemented by the shoklam recitation on the audio player, punctuated by side conversations by the devotees.Sometimes the ringing of the bells, took me to my dance practice. 

Ding ding ding

Ding ding ding 

1 – 2 – 3

1 – 2 – 3

Dhith – Dhith – Thai

Dhith – Dhith – Thai 

Ha, then the smell of sambrani and oodhubathi. In Da’s presence, I normally would get uptight with strong fragrances  as he is asthmatic. Without him around, I was able to relax and even revel in the fragrance. Then, the visit normally ended up in a prasadam, which typically was curd rice that I would give away (I can’t make myself eat anything that has curd in it!) but then once had the opportunity to taste some delicious chakkarai pongal. 

What a blessing these visits were…!!! Eternally grateful for this opportunity. 

Uninterrupted NOT!

Gosh, if there is one thing I can say about my blog, it is that it has gradually faded into oblivion with my other personal pursuits. 

At least until last year, I was steadfast in writing during November. One could argue that I started the gratitude posts in November stating that I have travel commitments and would keep them going for as long as I can, which is what I did. But then, there have been years when life kept me on my toes but somehow the pull to write and the push to keep the streak going were strong enough for me to make time for writing through life’s commitments and curve balls.

This year, I just let it be. I had worked very hard in the Fall and I simply didn’t want to push myself harder in any aspect of my life. Letting it be was an act of self-care. But then I came back in December and made grand proclamations to catch up and I did not honor that. Not proud of it at all. And a little bit troubled by it as well since I had made a similar commitment to myself to write a 100-day private journal and I did not follow through. 

The reason I bring this up is our interests and hobbies are fragile.  At least for me, they are. For some, the passion itself drives the practice. I have a tendency to drift in the direction that life takes me. So, this is just a reminder to myself that  my passions need to be grounded in intention and the discipline to keep coming back to the practice.

Resuming

My apologies. I paused on my gratitude posts without giving a rhyme or reason here. I had to focus on a stretch assignment at work and then it extended into my travels. I realize we are not in Novemeber but don’t want to shortchange gratitude giving so will be making up for the break.

Today, a big thank you to my manager for not only taking a chance with me but also for letting me take an extra time off so I could spend time with my parents!

Here’s to adulting

Dearest Hari,

As you are growing up, our relationships and dynamics are morphing and evolving. The giving and the taking, the being in charge but leaning in as needed. We celebrate occasions long distance and cherish our time together. We also talk adult to adult. There is a certain ease, lightness and trust in the relationship. A pull rather than a push that I so value.

On your birthday, I am sharing with you one of the precious life lessons I have learnt. The best relationship that you can have is with yourself. Accept yourself. Talk to yourself kindly. Give yourself grace when you make mistakes. Treat yourself with respect. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Be you. Do you.


We love you so so much!

Us

Being supported

Today, I am reflecting on all the people – at work and in my personal life – who have been generous with their time and expertise and have been my sounding board, coach, a guide and a mentor. Eternally greatful to the universe for brininging them to me. I wish them a world of goodness, love and happiness,