… drum rolls please. First of all, a big welcome to my newest subscriber. The one who has been the fodder to many of my posts – Ram…! Secondly, if you are reading this by email, hop over to my blog to check out the banner. My newest subscriber made this for me as a birthday present. If you are wondering why there are ganders waddling around, check out my blog url.

A comfy hoodie from a brand that has gone viral. A pair of yin yang earrings. A new handbag to replace my worn out hip belt. A book that I have been eye for long. A play list of dance videos from one of the workshops that I thought I had lost forever. A lovely blue skirt. A nice take out dinner in the company friends who are family. Phone calls, direct messages, voice messages, and text messages. What better celebration could a girl ask for?! Feeling pampered and celebrated. Beyond greatful.

Is it just our household or is April Fools Day not a thing anymore? The second child who is quite fond of making a fool out of us made a random comment on the holiday and just let it go. I missed the switching of the spoons and the tumblers in the kitchen cabinets and that silly handrawn faces. It was fun for as long as it lasted.

Today, as I exchanged texts with a colleague, I commented on her use of emojis. A revolving heart. A shining star. They caught my attention. They made me smile. She said with so much going on around in the world, it’s her way of adding a touch of whimsy. Loved the idea of whimsy being an antidote to chaos and unrest. My heart that always prefers words over emojis found meaning in seeing emojis as a language of whimsy. They say joy is an act of resistance/rebellion. Somehow joy feels elusive. So far away. Beyond grasp. Asking too much. Whimsy feels light. Achievable. Just around the corner. It asks little. A lining of kajal in my eyes. A jhimki for my ears. Making eggplant parm. Writing this post. When was the last time you were whimsical? what catches your whimsy?

Continuing with some of Laksh’s questions

Does your opinion on someone change if you realize they have tattoos? 

In my youth, I thought people who had tattoos lived life on the edge and I have judged them for it. Now, I know better and my opinion on someone does not change because they have a tattoo; rather I am intrigued and wonder what deep meaning it holds for them. I don’t intend to get a tattoo myself; just like how I don’t want to have my nose or ears pierced (again). I don’t fancy them enough to go through the pain. More importantly, I don’t have one symbol that I so strongly identify with that I want it on me for the rest of my life.

When you were a kid what did you want to be as a grown up?

My earliest memory of what I wanted to be as a grown-up was in my upper elementary – I remember wanting to be a part time writer, part-time dancer, a lawyer and an air hostess (thanks to a Sridevi movie I watched), all rolled into one. Don’t glare at me, I was just a child with dreams and no concept of time. In my college years, I did harbor a dream of wanting to be a journalist. Too bad, I didn’t know how to explore that career path.

Would you ever homeschool your children?

Given that I have a high schooler and a college Junior, this is a moot point now. I have deep admiration for folks who can homeschool their kids – takes conviction, expertise, courage, discipline, and effort – in that order. For better or worse, for the lifestyle that we have chosen as a family that was never a path for us.

How long should people be together before they get married? 

I come from a culture where living together before getting married is scorned upon. But I see the point. When you live with a person, you get an intimate sense for what makes you tick as couple, what presses your hot buttons, and how do you work as a team. It gives a sense for whether the relationship can survive the wear and tear that comes with time. But I don’t think it is length of living together that is a predictor of marriage. Rather how respectfully are you able to agree to disagree and how much are you able to accept each other for who they are.

From this week’s newsletter:

“Don’t ignore the problem, but keep it light. Take action with a smile. Adding tension won’t solve your troubles faster.

Even when the problem is hard, it doesn’t need to harden you. Unknot yourself. Body loose, head clear, and then take the first step.

Be happy in the doing.”

From last week’s newsletter:

“Work is endless. Exercise is endless. Parenting is endless. Same with marriage, writing, investing, creating, and more. You get to choose the parts of your life, but many of the important things in life cannot be “finished.”

Do not approach an endless game with a finite mindset. The objective is not to be done, but to settle into a daily lifestyle you can sustain and that allows you to make daily progress on the areas that matter.

Embrace the fact that life is continual and look for ways to enjoy the daily practice.”

Today Laksh asked, what quality do you appreciate the most in a friend?

Authenticity is what I appreciate the most in a friend. If you can be who you are with me, and if I can be who I am with you, isn’t that the most precious gift we can give each other.

Today Laksh asked, would you have a had a different life if raised by different parents? In other words, do you believe nurture trumps nature?

The quality and direction of our life is largely determined by who we are born to (our biological parents), when we are born (normal or abnormal times), who raise us (parents, grandparents, siblings), where we were raised (village, city, India, middle east, US?), and the life situation in which we were raised (rich, poor, middle class). They shape who we are. They determine what aspects of our nature get nurtured. Change one of these variables, and the trajectory changes. I am no exception to this.

As part of community building exercise, Laksh asked on her Instagram post – what is your best TV show of all time?

In my childhood, Oliyum Oliyum, used to be an all-time favorite. This was not a show rather think of it as a community playlist of Tamizh songs from movies ranging from old to new. There was an element of suspense. Is it going to be new songs? Is it going to be popular songs? Is it going to be oldies? Lots of prayers were sent to the powers above – let there be no power failure, just between 7:30 and 8:00 PM tonight. Please, please, pretty please..!

You see watching TV was an indulgence and was pretty much reserved for the weekends. And TV was not just entertainment. It was education. UGC programs, a Tamizh vaadhiyar who taught Tamizh alphabets, vayalum vazhvum, Tamizh news at 7:00 PM. We didn’t have too many options and watching TV was a treat, something that we so looked forward to and never took for granted! That was in elementary and middle school years but by the time we came to high school, there were certainly more options. Even then, TV was a treat.

My favorite show after moving to the US, was Everybody Love Raymond. I still love that show! Funny, real and relatable. You fall in love with the characters. As I write this, I am reminded of the visits to the Blockbuster stores. In hindsight, it was quite the experience, which I didn’t quite realize then. Going to the store, checking out the latest, being influenced by other visitors in the store, and looking for specials! Never would I have imagined that that experience would become extinct!

During the pandemic, we watched shows and movies like there was no tomorrow! Too many to list here. Watching shows and movies has given a lot of bonding time with my kids. Hari used to be obsessed with The Office and Parks and Recreation. Now Ram and I are binge watching partners. Blacklist was our indulgence. We were obsessed although the finale itself was such a let down.

If there is one show that I keep for myself and I am fiercely loyal to inspite of it making me roll my eyes and cringe is – Grey’s Anatomy! I have watched every single episode over the course of 22 seasons. First it was Christina and Mer, then it was for Mer and Derek. Then, it just became a habit. I think they should end the show because it’s simply going around in circles. But I will watch it as long as they run it. What can I say, I am loyal that way!

As we ring in the new year, here’s wishing you a year of intentional living, one that is true to yourself and your values. Wishing you grace and patience to begin again when you fall into old patterns and habits. Trust and faith in the process and universe at large in periods of uncertainty. Agency that comes from accepting difficult moments and circumstances. The discernment that shows what is serving you versus what is hindering you, and the courage to show up for yourself. A village that supports you, in good times and bad. Wishing you a healthy, prosperous and wholesome 2026.

A few weeks back, I summoned the older child to decorate our Christmas Tree and the child asked, “do you think we could get a smaller Christmas tree next year.” A few days later, the second child said, I still would like gifts from “Santa”. We indulged in holiday brunch at a local diner this morning. The boys baked cookies for “Santa” and we are now binging on the Cloud 9 Superstore show on Hulu. I spy some presents under the tree. 

To those of you that celebrate, a Very Merry Christmas! May you get to rest, relax and soak in the Christmas spirit.

Recounting little moments from my India trip

• Watching Sa-Re-Ga-Ma show with appa and amma
• Mylapore shopping with amma
• Saree and telephone shopping 
• Seeing my cousins and getting to know my nieces
• White kurma, illu sevai, and multiple versions of good old kathirkai
• Just watching the city buzzing around you from the cab
• The lovely Chennai weather in November 
• Experiencing monsoon season even if it meant we were indoors
• Meeting my high school friends and getting to know their families
• Meeting my colleagues in Chennai
• Sight seeing with my colleagues in Delhi
• Eating kulfi from a matka
• Going to Gurudwara
• Going to Triplicane Parthasarthy temple with appa, amma, and athai
• My athai showing me all the things that I bought for her over our visits and how she has been using them
• The pavazaha malli in our house garden 
• Reading the physical newspaper daily. It all came back to me, the India I grew up in!
• The breakfast buffet at Westin… oh my the spread, never have I regretted  having only one stomach 
• Just watching my parents doing their every day things
• Spending karthigai day with appa amma 

Greatful to the universe for making this trip happen and to the family for holding down the fort.