2025 – A Year in Review

It’s time for the yearly ritual of looking back on the year that has gone by. In the past years, I have relied on my blog posts and pictures to recall the events from the year. Not so this year due to my sporadic blogging and lack of backing up of my pictures due to storage issues. So falling back on my memory here.

This year has been a roller coaster year with ups, downs and everything in between. We traveled quite a bit. I went to India twice. The first time combining it with a trip to Malaysia for a wedding. The wedding was super fun, reconnecting with friends who are family to us, and embracing the next generation of traditions and festivities. As you grow up, you realize that genuine friendships and authentic relationships are far and between and when an opportunity presents itself, you just need to seize it with both your hands. And what is not to love about Malaysia, a rare combination of nature and modernity. That India trip was short but sweet and meaningful with visiting temples, spending time with appa, amma and my sister-in-law and family. The second India trip was fulfilling, combining work and personal commitments and I am so very grateful to the powers above for the timing of the visit.

Close on heels of the first India trip was a weekend visit to Paris. This trip was about hanging out with family although the novelty of the city was enamoring. Da and Ram continued with a trip to the UK. Later this year, Da traveled to Israel on a business trip. We missed Hari when we went to Ithaca during the summer. Another place that is close to my heart! Those beautiful waterfalls, one can never have enough of them!

This was a big year for Ram. He graduated from Middle School and the Indian Heritage School. He climbed ranks in Scouts. He got Black Belt in Karate. The pressure of High School is certainly weighing on him but he is hanging in there, alternating between working hard and hardly working.

This was a milestone year for Hari. The child is an adult. With internships and other commitments, getting family time is becoming more and more scarce. We have learnt to make the most of it when he is around. He works super hard but knows to chill as well.

Da had to face a curveball in his work life but managed it well with clarity and focused efforts. I am proud of his resilience.

As far as I am concerned, some of my extra curricular activities have come to an end. Teaching at Indian Heritage School and being on the library board. They were passions close to my heart but I am also happy that I let go as I am able to make time to explore other interests and passions. I celebrated 20 years of working in the same company and am grateful for the financial freedom and personal growth it has offered me.

The reckoning and the awakening that comes with mid-life is hitting me hard, and the pull to live a life aligned to my values is getting stronger and stronger. Every now and then, a little voice keeps whispering, how are you going to live the rest of your wild precious life? (thanks to Mary Oliver for this poignant ask in The Summer Day poem). I don’t have an answer but the questions gives me a reset and inspires me to live an intentioned life.

If you have been reading me this year, thank you for sticking with me. Just say hello and let me know how you are doing and if it is not asking too much, I would love to know what you have been up to and what life has taught you this year.

Uninterrupted NOT!

Gosh, if there is one thing I can say about my blog, it is that it has gradually faded into oblivion with my other personal pursuits.

At least until last year, I was steadfast in writing during November. One could argue that I started the gratitude posts in November stating that I have travel commitments and would keep them going for as long as I can, which is what I did. But then, there have been years when life kept me on my toes but somehow the pull to write and the push to keep the streak going were strong enough for me to make time for writing through life’s commitments and curve balls.

This year, I just let it be. I had worked very hard in the Fall and I simply didn’t want to push myself harder in any aspect of my life. Letting it be was an act of self-care. But then I came back in December and made grand proclamations to catch up and I did not honor that. Not proud of it at all. And a little bit troubled by it as well since I had made a similar commitment to myself to write a 100-day private journal and I did not follow through.

The reason I bring this up is our interests and hobbies are fragile. At least for me, they are. For some, the passion itself drives the practice. I have a tendency to drift in the direction that life takes me. So, this is just a reminder to myself that my passions need to be grounded in intention and the discipline to keep coming back to the practice.

Treating Myself

I went on a date with myself today. Just being with myself, knowing myself, and befriending myself!

UMASS Center of Mindfulness offered an all-day virtual silent retreat. Primarily, meant for current students of the programs, the center extends the invite to alums as well. The day was filled with a series of sessions led by variety of teachers. Each one a gem. Each one softens your heart, strengthens your spirit, settles your mind, and brings awareness to your body. Not to mention, you do this in a community where you don’t know anyone individually yet you feel this strong sense of belonging and togetherness.

Immense gratitude for this generous gift.

2024 Reflections

As 2024 is drawing to a close, some reflections on the year…

Embarked on the adventure of knowing my mind…. from what little peek I got, delving within has mostly taught me how limited my worldview is. The inner work is hard, lonely, freeing, empowering… mostly, it takes a lot of courage to simply sit with the rawness of all that you encounter.

Achieved some discipline on things that I struggled with in the past – I limited night time snacking to fruits, regular brushing and flossing at night, reciting Vishnu Sahsranam, vitamins intake, quasi fasting for quasi ekadesi.

Donated blood for the first time. I learnt a valuable lesson in staying hydrated and another reminder as to how if foundational it is to take care of yourself. You can be there for others only if you are there for yourself.

Books and podcasts have been my best friends this year. I indulged in book borrowing therapy, joyfully clicking the borrow button on the catalog, a felt a rush of adrenaline when I get an email notification for pick up and a boatload of anticipation when I saw a book of my choice with my name tag sticking out at the library pick up shelf . I am happy to say that my house is littered with books. I read only a fraction of the books that I borrowed and probably read only a few pages on some of these books. But I am not embarrassed about it… the books that I did not read gave me as much joy as the books I read. I do not know the count of books that I borrowed, I do not remember names of all the authors or titles I read nor was a deligent about writing reviews. But the words linger, shifting my mindset, influencing my attitude, and everyday living.

I uncovered the joy of reading books on my phone. I know wherever I go, as long as I have my phone, I have the option to read. I love that I can copy the verbiage and share it with myself on WhatsApp.

I uninstalled Facebook and Instagram on my phone. They are useful tools that add value but I don’t like how they hijack my attention when I have unlimited access to it.

Completed Mindlfulness Based Stress Reduction program and loved every bit of it.

Served as a juror in a criminal trial. It was a solemn, humbling and fascinating experience.

Attended three weddings and met a dear friend after a decade and a half!

Went on four 10-mile hikes and one 20-mile hike as part of Ram’s hiking merit badge

The year left me yearning for …

Being closer to nature

Dance practices

Writing

Work life balance

Being part of the local community

Spending more time with the kids

Approval and validation

My go to resources for this year were…

Guided meditation

Tuning into my body and senses

Books on mindfulness

Surrender and taking refuge in higher power – prayer and the idea of loving kindness

Leaning in on people who are not judgmental

Heartfelt gratitude for all love, light, and support that this year brought.

Random updates

We had a gorgeous spring day today. It is hard not to fall in love with this time of the year except of course if you have seasonal allergies. It’s fascinating isn’t it how something that is delightful for some is a nightmare for others. The paradox of life!

Sharing some random notes from my life…

We have budding Anumpam Kher fans in our house. Courtesy, New Amsterdam on Netflix. This show has been the latest indulgence for Ram, Hari and I. The show itself is so so and makes you want to roll your eyes but the characters are growing on us, especially Dr. Kapoor.

The family took a trip to Barcelona during the winter break. I was itching to write all about it but life has been jam packed since then. Let’s just say that I was looking for novelty but ended up with familiarity, and it was equally delightful.

Ram climbed up the ranks in Boy Scouts or rather got his first boy scout rank. I feel very grateful that he is part of a giving Troop community. He is now what they call a Tenderfoot.

Hari went to his first music concert with his buddies. He had the time of his life! I am glad he is squeezing in some fun here and there every now and then.

All the things that I wanted to do – read, walk daily, workout etc. have gone out of the window. Balance, discipline, and consistency are elusive for me.

Tired of trying to get me to read his short story, Ram got creative to grab my attention. He changed my personal desktop screen with this message, loud and clear, “Please read my short story…” This kid! What can I say, he knows me too well. And yes, the story was a delightful read.

On that note, have a fabulous week ahead.

Blur

April, May and June have gone by in the blink of an eye.

April was full with transition to spring schedule and activities.

May was fuller with year end at school, extra curricular, volunteering activities.

June was winding down. We did take a week of vacation which was glorious while it lasted.

In July, the heart wants to chill, let loose, shake up our routines and do things we would not do otherwise. Visit different libraries. Go to little known parks. Take up a summer project. Spend a lot of time in our yard. Hang out with the kids more. But there is still a full plate at work and some hands-on parenting to be done during the work week. My heart needs to embrace this reality, plan around it, draw some firm boundaries, and sneak in pockets of life’s finer moments.

The year in review

This year, every time we have heaved a sigh of relief and felt like we could have some semblance of normalcy, the pandemic has made its presence felt, as though taunting and reminding us that it’s not that time yet, isn’t it? If 2020 was challenging with the onset of pandemic, 2021 took it a notch higher by daring us to live with the pandemic.

Living with the pandemic has been stressful. There has been a cloud of apprehension hanging over our heads even as we carried on with our day to day activities. First there was relief that the vaccine was here and that the adults of the household were vaccinated. Then the Delta variant wreaked havoc back home and made us acutely aware of the limitations of living oceans apart. Then came the anxiety that the little ones are not vaccinated yet. And now Omicron.

Last year, I found it easier to limit ourselves to our household and do our part at these unprecedented times. This year, I felt the pinch of limits and constraints we have placed on ourselves. I ached to see people and have lighter conversations. I craved to get away from the routine. But thankfully these were passing clouds, ones that added clarity to what constituted a wholesome life for me. Ones that I should work towards as the circumstance permits with an attitude of gratitude.

I did not make a checklist like I did in 2021 so I have nothing concrete to assess myself against. I loved my word of the year Nourish and embraced it wholeheartedly. I do not know if it improved the quality of my life or my outlook, nor do I have anything remarkable to show for it. The word stayed with me as a silent companion throughout the year.

My biggest learning has been the need to build rest and recovery in my routine. The toll that burn out can take on you is not to be underestimated.

I gained a lot out of following UL’s 30-day podcast wherein we contemplated a word a day. It taught me to look within with curiosity, which came in handy especially at difficult moments when the mind just wants to flee to the past or future – What am I running from? Can I stay in the present moment and give more of myself to it?

I was languishing with my habits. Grateful to Limp Cabbage and Momto2Cuddlebugs, who are my habit building habits. They show up and do the work that matters to them. It has motivated me to try harder and be more steadfast in my pursuits. I am not where I aspire and strive to be but I have read more, exercised more, and mediated more.

Grateful for the blessings of this year and praying for continued well being and grace of my cherished ones and the humanity at large.

Life flows…

I think of…

My parents-in-law and my grandparents who have passed away
My children who are growing fast and furious
Friendships that I thought would last a lifetime but lasted only for a season
The carefree years of my high school and postgrad days when I developed a sense of who I am

And for a brief few moments, I feel a pang, a longing for the things as they were or for things to not change… and then I think of this quote by Dr. Seuss

“Don’t cry because it’s over

Smile because it happened”

A simple but powerful reframing, isn’t it? So I reflect again…

… of all the ways in which my thatha and patti pampered me and filled me with experiences that only they could give me as my grandparents and I feel fortunate to have had all those years with them. I think of my mom-in-law and how her personality has had a profound impact on me. I thank my stars for bringing her into my life, for making me a better person. I think of our children and want nothing more than for them to have a safe, strong and joyful flight. I am beyond grateful that we are the ones to nurture them under our wings. I think of friendships and my postgraduate days that lasted a season. True there is no rewinding but isn’t it wonderful that they happened when they happened and played a role in helping me become who I am?

We can’t change the cycle or the nature of life. However, we can live our present moment deeply and fully. In doing so, we are allowing gratitude to flow in and take its place when the moment has passed. And at the end of the day, as we rest our heads on the pillow, we can smile with contentment knowing that life flows with twists and turns and that we have the privilege to flow along with it, moment to moment. .

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Today and everyday, may you have and find things to be grateful for.

Tourist in our own town

The lockdown and travel restrictions in late spring and early summer meant we had to remain local. Even when the restrictions were relaxed over the summer, we chose not to go out for more than three hours. Using public restrooms was the last thing we wanted to do in a pandemic. This predicament forced us to to act like a tourist in our own town. We discovered local hiking paths and trails. Soon each of us had our own favorite spots. A stream, a boardwalk or a rock that we could rest on. We hiked when the weather was cold, we hiked in scorching heat, and we saw gorgeous sunsets. We saw first hand how the trails changed as the seasons progressed. The hikes gave us preicious time to catch up with one another. Much gratitude!

Thanksgiving Prayer

2020 has humbled us like no other. It has brought the whole world down on its knees in a matter of days. We are nothing but a tiny speck in the grand scheme of things. Humanity has witnessed and continues to experience losses of all kinds (physical and emotional health, sustenance, loved ones, and what not) and of differing magnitude (from the daily stress to life altering events).

There is so much suffering and disruption. We all have been stripped off of our safety nets and forced to embrace uncertainty. We have been taught to adapt and reimagine. To never take anything or anyone for granted. To cherish blessings, to live in the moment and to show genorisity of spirit.

I start this thanksgiving month with a silent prayer. I hold the suffering in my heart and seek protection. Let there be healing, resilience, second chances and lightness. I pray for continued safety and well being. For you, me, and the entire human race. Let us become better, stronger and kinder individuals.

For the love of writing, as an act of self-care and as an opportunity to reflect, I am embarking on an exercise to be deliberate in expressing gratitude. If this sentiment resonates, I invite you to join me in this journey – what are you thankful for today?