If Journals Could Talk…


I stood there, immobilized by what my eyes registered. An input from an inanimate object particularly, a journal. Who wouldn’t freeze?

I had to say, it was smart, employing the words I jotted down ages ago, and assembling them into a letter addressed specifically for me, substituting its lack of speech. The letter wrote:

Dear Owner,

Why?

Why do you address my name as Diary? I am Steve.

Why do you assume that I care about your life events?  I am also not your specific someone or a parent to express your day to day story. I am merely a bundle of paper grouped together.

I am a choosy object. Unless you are famous for something, you have permission to use me as a biography.

Why do you settle your dirty hands upon my clean sheets?

Why do you expose your inner fears and vulnerabilities to me? I am open like all of my brethren books.

Why do you torture me? You stuff me into your bag, cramping me with all your belongings. I am a delicate book you abusive human.

I am infuriated.

Sincerely not yours,

Steve

And the realization came like a freight train. This was a notepad. This was a hard copy of a draft for my blog.

If Blogs Could Talk…


Just a while ago, after experimenting with the spells written in my book Secrets of the Darkest Art, I finally assimilated the art of providing life to inanimate objects. The lucky object was… drumroll please

53a05fb301c8f_-_f428yu
Courtesy: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/news/a5630/facebook-gender-terms/

Thanks drum-rolling-cat-or-whatever-your-name-is.

My blog.

And now your host welcomes you to the top hit TV show… no not that… Asil Interviews: Redefining Random…

Asil: So how does it feel having your own life.

Redefining: clickclickclickclickclick. [Fine. But I can’t move.]

Asil: Haha. That’s because you’re only a digitized version of a person’s thoughts.

Redefining: What? I’m only nothing. *bleep* *bleep* *bleep*

Jack-Nicholson

Asil : Quit to the commercial quick.

Moral of the Interview: Do not give life to your blog. I repeat Do Not.

P.S. This is the most weirdest post I ever did. Cick me for the previous If The [Blank].

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started