In response to Fandango’s One Word Challenge FOWC
Prompt: Actress
CASTING NOTICE: “ACTRESS”
They told me I was an actress before I knew how to say “no” convincingly.
The word arrived like a wardrobe – slightly itchy, always one size too small, stitched with expectations I didn’t audition for. “Actress,” they said, as if it were a profession and a personality and a warning label all at once.
In the mornings, I practice realism in the mirror. I cry on cue at 7:03 a.m. (traffic noises help). At 7:04 I laugh at a joke I didn’t write. At 7:05 I perfect the expression of “I am fine,” which is the longest running role of my career and still under contract.
My agent is a voicemail that never calls back but always believes in me.
“Break a leg,” it says. I already have. Several times. Metaphorically, emotionally, occasionally and socially.
On set, the world is always slightly too bright, like it’s been filtered by someone who has never experienced sadness but has read about it in high definition. The director shouts: “More vulnerability!” which is the industry code for “Make it look like your heart is buffering.”
I comply. I am professional.
Between takes, I meet other actresses. We compare bruises disguised as schedules.
One says, “I’m playing a woman losing herself.”
Another says, “I’m playing a woman finding herself.”
I say, “I’m playing a woman who forgot what she was cast for, but keeps delivering anyway.”
We laugh, because laughter is the only scene we’re never asked to reshoot.
At night, I remove my face the way others remove makeup. Carefully and respectfully, like peeling an old sticker from glass. Underneath, I am not blank, I am crowded. Every role I’ve ever played is still rehearsing in the corners of my bones.
Sometimes I think the real audition was never for characters. It was for coherence.
Once, I tried to improvise my life. The script supervisor panicked. “Stay on page!” she shouted. But there was no page. Just a blank screen and the faint smell of ambition burning.
Still, I continue. Because somewhere between “action” and “cut,” I discovered something dangerous…
When I forget I am acting, I am most convincing. And when I am most convincing, I am not sure who is watching anymore.
Is it the audience? Or the version of me I keep pretending doesn’t exist in the back row, arms crossed, quietly judging my performance and whispering…
“That’s not even how she would say it.”
But then,
Maybe she would.
Maybe “actress” is not a profession at all.
Maybe it’s just what happens when a person is told, repeatedly, to become believable enough to be mistaken for real.
© Rohini 2009–2025.
All text, prose, images, and artwork presented herein are the original intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved.
No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, distributed, displayed, or used in any form without the prior written permission of the copyright holder.
For licensing requests or usage inquiries, please contact: manomaya0214@gmail.com

