I had originally intended to dictate my exploits in the Elder scrolls. But due to the limitations afforded by its loosely illustrated “unlimited” subtitle, I’ve instead pursued other avenues of interest, namely deriding the exploits of Uwe Boll. Now I’m not ordinarily inclined to mock other people’s misfortunes, yet I feel I’m perfectly justified in my chortled barbs. To have ocular verification–for someone of Uwe Bolls repute–that proves that humility eluded him as a director and as a human being, as his inflated hubris is deflated by his exasperating circumstances is gratifying, if somewhat cruel. Though enduring any of his reformed adaptations of games is somewhat more vicious. So come one, come all and marvel at this inept directors belligerent pontification, as he projects his chagrin at the reductive professions of his supporters and gape as he criticises these same financiers for their stunted investments. That’s right, its your fault! As well as your affinity for “retarded wizards in a forest” apparently. He’s spurned grievances and profane laced ridicules were prompted by his Kickstarter initiative failing to generate the necessary capital to help fund his movie project “Rampage 3”. But because of you (“you” should be ashamed!) Uwe Boll has expressed his wish to bid adieu to Hollywood and movie making in general. But you needn’t worry about his financial security, as he affirms that he has enough money to play golf for the rest of his life. Very commendable. There’s certainly no better way of generating empathy for his plight than by asserting his privileged lifestyle to people he requires substantial incentives from.

Still, I wish him the best of luck. Especially if he wishes to make a film about a retarded wizard in a forest. That sounds like good cinema to me! And let’s be honest, he’s got people talking about it now?! Check out his rant below and click here if you feel inclined to save his Kickstarter project.

Please don’t feel obligated to help, for all our sakes.