Let’s just modify the gradient of my nose. Yep that’s better. Not sure my eyes are quite symmetrical, just a little more structural alteration needed there…..let’s separate them a little more, yeah that’ll do. Wait, why I am I black? Need to amend that promptly to reflect my pasty Caucasian skin. Don’t want people to think I’m Rachel Dolezal now do I? Oh come on, I don’t know what height I am in centimetres?! Can’t you give me the measurements in feet! All right very well; 170 cm? That must be around 6,2 right? Whoa, my hair has never retained that much volume! No that’s too long. Too short. Too effeminate, though I do like the way it brightens my eyes. Ah, that’s much better. You handsome devil, you’ll be slaying more woman than you will necromantic mages. Now for some additional cosmetic definition. Let’s define those cheekbones a little, allow my skin some modest blemishes and allow my face to be studded with some mild pigmentation just to reduce my punctuated masculinity (don’t want the woman to be too distracted). Now with the application of a cleftal philtrum and some alluring stubble…..I…..am……finished. Say, your looking…..OH MY GOD! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
That is my reaction to almost every character I have ever designed!
Moulding a creatively affable entity that’s both expressive and displays a semblance of humanity requires inherent facilitation of patience I simply don’t have. This particular brand of inertia is indicative of my ruthless need to progress into actual gaming elements, rather than expel the few precious hours I have pruning the nuances of my forehead or moderating the precise specificity of my ear alignment. I have effusive respect for the creative solicitation demonstrated by those with a fastidious requirement for accuracy and the extrapolation of detail that goes into animating a form, where the subtle contours of an individuals face mimics their own anatomy. This projection of creative influence is evidently latent in my own depictions, as I’m left to settle for interpretive tendencies that strongly alludes my tolerance for authenticity. It’s not that I don’t try, I just have little time to be that finicky, instead settling for colloquial interpretation of an androgynous being. I could, time permitted and suitable intervals of astringent discipline generate a loose familiarization of myself, where I’ve adhered to the subtle concavity of a dimple, or the accurate dimensions of my pout. But due to certain nonchalance restraints, measured details allude me as my eagerness takes precedent. As a result I’m left with a character that retains a culmination of my attributing parameters, much of which are dependent on vague definitions, that contort an image with contravening misinterpretation, thereby depicting me as a vacantly expressive rapist, with stunted verticality, a cleft chin and derp face that is most likely to be convicted for the violation of your anus with a machete rather than hailed as a saviour of a civilisation. What’s the point when your efforts result in a creation that looks like a stubbed toe and leaves the elephant man questioning the legitimacy of your humanity?!
I’m always a deftly hideous creation with dearth of facial authenticity, With parameters so banal you can’t resist but settle for a stock version of yourself. In Skyrim the surplus parameters at my disposal afflicted my Nord with a visibly necrotic complexion, with symmetrical rigidity applied to the jaw so I resemble a Hexagon, with an irregular space between the eyes. He’s burdened visage sends out warnings such as “Caution Do not approach. Recently escaped resident of Arkham Asylum. Known degenerate and Bum tickler!” Fifa complied with similar interpretive variance, only this time the character, a supposed reflection of myself was so strikingly handsome that I feared he’d run away with my girlfriend?! When even a mii that I contributed to my mother’s Wii console presents a more realistic adaptation of myself, then there has to be something amiss. I’m hardly in possession of features that are distinctive, so you’d expect fashioning an accurate imitation of myself would require minimal fiddling. Dark hair, hazel eyes, expression of constant neutrality, cheekbones you could cut your hands on and a bulbous nose. I don’t want a vaguely recognisable me if people have to squint to the point there eyes are closed to recognise my features. I know it shouldn’t matter how closely related we are in appearance, but I feel more immersed if it’s “me”, or an inert perception of it. And I’d be OK if there was a capacity for passive intervention to tweak the characteristics later on with posthumous amendments, rather than having no retroactive reparations conferred to change my character. I don’t want to endure the trauma of being some mutated freak that looks like, wait. Unless, oh no. Is, is that what I look like?! Oh god no!
Let me know about the bad experiences you’ve had in creating a characters. Cheers.






