I don’t really understand why I felt compelled to compile the late Richard Donors seminal “Lethal Weapon” franchise into an abridged ranking system? There’s no notable anniversary to celebrate. No imminent release of the long rumoured sequel. There’s not even some drunken, antisemitic tirade or some other controversial opinion expressed by Mad Mel Gibson to inspire this curious distraction. I only know that by collating the quality of this series was a great cathartic release. As a fan of the series it’s always great to revisit one of the best buddy cop movies ever made, and remind myself just how dynamic Glover and Gibson are on screen. I will endeavour to keep this as brief and as succinct as possible to ensure that we can maintain a similar rapid pace espoused by the movies I’m critiquing. Plus I’m lazy and feel no obligation to go into too great a detail. As always with these kinds of subjective lists, all of these opinions are not universally acknowledged or legally binding assessments. These opinions are my own, because whose else would they be. With that said, let’s put on some provocative sax. Leap hand cuffed together from a tall building. Parade our diplomatic credentials and on the count of 3 list, in ascending order my ranking of the Lethal Weapon series:

4. Lethal Weapon 4.

Long before Vin Diesel was mumbling incoherently about the solidarity of his team, Lethal Weapon 4 was being equally insufferable with the overuse of the term “family”. I’m hesitant to refer to the final scene in the hospital as “cringe”. But it’s certainly overly saccharine for a series that has always demonstrated incredible restraint and realism to its portrayal of family. Really though, more than any other movie in the series, Lethal Weapon 4 just flat out annoys me. From the irritating dentist integration, the outlandish set pieces that have none of the charm of the first 3. The unnecessary integration of Joe Pesci’s “Leo Getz” as a private investigator, using outdated slang like “Talk to the hand!” or “Whatever!”. As well as his contrived story about a frog, that somehow becomes an allegory for the post mullet Riggs, moving on from the past and accepting fatherhood. Not to mention that the movie parks for an impromptu stand up session from Chris Rock to test out some new material.

On a positive note I think Jet Li is well cast. And is probably one of the more intimidating villains in the series. Posing a real physical threat we haven’t seen since Mr Joshua in the original. And it’s always great to see more of Riggs and Murtaugh, even if their shenanigans are a little forced at times. Ultimately 4 has always been a low point for me and sadly, for the most part, it just irritates me more than it entertains.

3. Lethal Weapon 3.

Now this is where this list gets a little complicated for me. On any given day, this would be my preferred choice over my actual #2. Lethal Weapon 3 features probably the funniest moments in the franchise, with Delores providing some of the series most quotable lines. Most of which are inspired by her infatuation with the panicked Murtaugh, with “shudder” and referring to him as the “Jam in my jelly roll” being notable highlights. Joe Pesci returns in an unnecessary capacity, but not one that’s completely futile, as he does deliver one of my favourite lines in the series. A moment that continues this strange motif of Murtaugh being interrupted whilst bathing. With Leo gently patting the waters surface and remarking that “I didn’t realise Riggs could hold his breath for that long?!”. I think Rene Russo is a terrific addition and a much needed love interest for Riggs, that isn’t immediately murdered as soon as Martin has holstered his lethal weapon! Though she doesn’t have a considerable amount to do here, it’s certainly not the thankless role she inherits in 4.

Lethal Weapon 3 is very playful, but sometimes it leans so heavily into the levity that real moments of drama feel jarring. There’s a fine line between comedy and drama that just doesn’t quite work here. With sullen moments that on their own are effective, but in tone of the movie, simply aren’t earned. Though Danny Glover delivers these moments with the gusto you’d expect from an actor of his quality, we aren’t given time to really linger on these dramatic incidents, as we briskly move onto the next chortle. I think Stuart Wilson does an adequate job as ex-cop Jack Travis, his laugh alone is infectious. But his dynamic performance never really translates into anything intimidating.

All in all, I enjoy Lethal Weapon 3 more than I probably should, even if it’s tone and humour is such a conflicting dynamic. Though it does feature the most frequent use of the phrase “Son of a bitch”. Which at this point has already become a habitual response for Murtaugh. So that’s something.

2. Lethal Weapon.

Now we come to what has been my favourite movie in the franchise for years. Though subsequent viewings have somewhat diminished my affection for this movie, it’s still a solidly made one. Providing the introduction of one cinema’s most revered, platonic friendships that has inspired many imitators, though never bettered. The button-downed family man of Roger Murtaugh, partnered with the erratic and suicidal Martin Riggs, set the foundations of everything that was to come. Again, I don’t think I can emphasize just how good Glover and Gibson’s chemistry is on screen. And it’s here that we see it at its most turbulent. The raw emotional strain that infers their burgeoning friendship, is handled with real intense conviction. Riggs volatility is often disguised by his flippant regard for his or indeed other’s safety. With the incident involving another suicidal man leaping from a building, culminating in an explosive confrontation between Riggs and Murtaugh. The way the trigger lurches forwards, as the chamber prepares to discharge the bullet! Brilliant! And it’s Roger’s generosity in introducing Riggs to his family and conservative values that help Riggs to conquer his demons.

It’s important to note just how important the casting of Murtaugh’s family is. Throughout the peaks and troughs of the franchise, this family has remained a consistent anchor to the absurdity of the action that encompasses them. Their interactions are always so organic. It’s like we’re passive observers in a stranger’s house, wanting to participate in their joyful exchanges. But in contrast to my previous entry, with 3’s dramatic moments being largely subservient to the humour, the opposite applies here. Lethal Weapon emphasizes a much darker tone, with moments of genuine solemnity that doesn’t really allow for raucous comedic interludes. There are serious themes depicted here that necessitate a kind of regimented earnestness. Which leaves little room for humorous little asides. As such Lethal Weapon feels much more like an outlier than the sequels that followed it.

And it has to be said that I have never cared for the final confrontation between Riggs and Mr Joshua. Though Gary Busey is far and away the strongest villain in this movie, both physically and character wise. His mud grappling, borderline homoerotic scrimmage with Riggs always felt unnecessarily contrived. And really just a little bit silly considering the severity of the tone beforehand. Overall Lethal Weapon is great, if disjointed. A film that just takes itself a little too seriously. A criticism you cannot attach to my number 1.

1. Lethal Weapon 2.

So here it is. My number 1 is the series number 2. I’m not sure what the significance is there, but I couldn’t think of any other way to start. What Lethal Weapon 2 does is combine everything I love about the other movies, into one almost flawless composite. It is perfectly balanced, as all things should be. It’s witty, pithy and solemn when it needs to be. It solidifies the exceptional dynamic of Riggs and Murtaugh relationship right from the opening scene, without labouring on the bleak overtones of the first. But also doesn’t neglect the trauma Riggs has suffered, by illustrating the curative effect of partnering with Roger and his irresistible family. Again I simply cannot emphasize just how wonderfully cast this entire family is. There is such a natural camaraderie between them all, that you’d almost be mistaken for thinking that Richard Donner had invited himself into a real suburban home and filmed the resulting chaos. They’re relatable, endearing and quick to tease one another. I mean the family gathering to watch Reannes TV commercial is so wholesome and depicted with such sincerity, that it’s almost not acting.

There’s a compelling story here too. One that weaves social political issues like apartheid, into a movie that in lesser hands would be just another 80’s action adventure. The introduction and addition of Joe Pesci into the established duo of Riggs and Murtaugh is like sprinkling sugar on a donut. Their differing personalities compliment each other so well. Irritating and joshing one another like petulant brothers would. It’s also thanks to Leo Getz that I can’t go to a fast food restaurant without quoting the immortal line “They fuck you at the drive through!”. Then of course there are the villains.

Joss Ackland is superb as Arjen Rudd, delivering an unsettling performance and a demonic stare that would make the devil uncomfortable. Of course you could argue that making him such a deplorable racist is shorthand for evil, hence easy to hate. But that would be unfair considering how committed he is to being such a monumental prick! Then there is his accomplice played by Derick O Connor, who himself provides some impudent support to “Adolf”, as well as my favourite line delivery in the entire series with “Just looking to see if I’m standing on any plastic”. Though this character does retroactively amend the accident that killed Riggs wife, by implicating that South African drug dealers actually murdered her. It’s a plot development that should feel contrived, but it kind of works for me. Patsy Kensit is adorable, if only utilised as propellant to fuel Riggs righteous vengeance. In fact all of the supporting crew that have been present in multiple sequels are all welcome participants. With some suffering some brutal deaths.

What more is there to say? Lethal Weapon 2 has done for the South African accent, what Arnold Schwarzenegger has done for the Austrian one. It is so inimitable. Whenever you quote this movie, it has to be done in a dubious South African accent. Lethal Weapon 2 features some of the more impressive set pieces. From the opening chase scene, the explosives under the toilet to the house on stilts are pulled from the foundations. This movie really has everything. And this is why Lethal Weapon 2 is my favourite of the series.