Forged by the festering saccharine of days past, kindling the charring remains of credibility that has since yielded to the flaunting exposure of their own exulted arrogance. These are the exemplary confederates that cultivated enduring momentum, generating plaudits and accolades for their prodigious performances. Now they have become exultant caricatures of their former selves. Gathered into an innocuous auditorium, with each individuals reticent gaze fixed studiously on the varnished timbered flooring, averting any of the crowds admonishing and judicious glares. Its one thing to be ridiculed by satirised sketches, parodied or honoured in a homage that honours your influence in the industry; that’s simply a measure of ones cultural significance in the public domain. But to inspire a new generation of better quality interpretations can only provoke an agitated feeling of rejection and embarrassment at your now stuttering career. Cynics and fans alike waited patiently to hear each participants indiscretions, to observe their fallen idols finally acknowledge what many have lamented for years. Dante was first to address the assembled spectators with murmurings between parties trying to ascertain who the ageing, bleakly attired individual was with only vague recollections that verified his identity.

For those unaware, Dante had established himself not once, but twice! His inaugural outing as the eponymous demon hunter in the Devil May Cry and again in DMC3, after souring public opinion with his divisive starring role in the forgettable DMC2. Despite a meek resurgence in 2013’s DmC, he’s rejuvenated look and ebonized follicles stunted his distinctive charismatic personality which alienated many of the existing fan base, and failed to connect with a new generation. The games subsequent failure had detrimental repercussions for Dante as opportunities to expand his range as an actor evaporated like a fart in the wind, as his fortune deteriorated. He was solemnly forced to partake in copious reality shows, become the chief antagonist in an episode of Soap Opera East Enders, performing fleeting stunt work for Ted Danson on CSI, as well as he’s recent guest appearance on Agatha Christie’s Poirot, as passer-by number 3; all to maintain his lavished excesses and sate his addiction for accumulating those little plastic things in pizza boxes that stop the toppings from embedding into the cardboard. Back in 2010, Dante was also embroiled in an ongoing confrontation with God of Wars Kratos, accusing the aggressive Greek god that the comparative ubiquity of their respective roles were just a little too similar, which subsequently culminated in a hostile affray, concluding in the deaths of 2 Norse gods, the spilling of copious liqueurs, a cat getting scared and Dante commencing an illicit affair with Kratos new partner, Aphrodite’s. Tonight he was far more passive. Dante rose cautiously from his seat, placing his ornate pistols dutifully on the table beside him and approached the podium to dispense his forlorn rebuke. His overt, charismatic quips were seemingly scuttled by years of isolation as he faltered to find the appropriate words in the mangled parchment he carefully smoothed down. Discernibly parched, he drank the glass of water adorning the bespoke dais and finally vocalised his long-suffering reproach: “I want to first sincerely apologize for the continuing declination of this once great series on behalf of everyone involved. It was certainly not my intent to dilute the bravado of this character by introducing melancholic themes, Nero, an emo hair style and a mutated, sentient helicopter. Please accept our humble apologies, our condolences and please, blame Capcom.”

The Scripted assertion lacked the indelible presence associated with Dante, but the tepid applause he received was respectful, if not affirming acceptance of the rebuttal. A relatively benign acquittal from this seemingly ornery crowd, but perhaps the convening spectators would be far more amiable towards the next Capcom affiliated orator……