Bugs

This article was drafted back in January. Sadly due to my own editorial incompetence, it has been languishing in my drafts since then, falsely believing that I had already formally approved and published it. As a result of my tardiness, much of the information concerning glitches may not be relevant now. Though if they are that only further substantiates my irritation towards Cyberpunk!

Very rarely does a game as anticipated as Cyberpunk arrive in such a palliative state. Ridiculed. Berated. Memed? (That’s not a word!). Suffering multiple delays, Cyberpunks release has been nothing short of disastrous. But I didn’t just want to senselessly build upon the escalating disdain that the community has vehemently rallied behind. Instead I wanted to discover the world of Cyberpunk for myself, and experience its considerable faults as well as its encouraging ideas organically. Not influenced by the pernicious hive mentality that is actively relishing the games failure!

And its funny really, the “Real” world I mean. Inhabited by a distinctly primitive and vexing species. One that craves the affection provided by love and contentment, yet simultaneously resenting the entire concept. We’re never happier than when we are miserable. Though admittedly the gaming community, currently engaged in a rousing dispute over CDPR’s belated apology for a game that — even in its present state — is as functional as a procrastinating Koala, are probably vindicated in expressing their dismay. Some smaller factions have been advocating CDPR’s decision to release a game at least 3 months prematurely, with most condemning the choice as a blatant affront to those too poor to afford a PC or next gen console.

Its obvious that at the very least they should have optimised the game for last gen consoles and PC — its initially intended platforms — before concentrating their efforts on a next gen update. Any title requiring considerable, scheduled patches indicates that there’s a significant problem. Still the fervour generated by the genuine complaints of gamer’s, coupled with the coordinated mob hyperbole that has galvanised a persistent attack on the game, means it’s currently being held together by the sutures of fan goodwill and the few optimists that believe Cyberpunk can achieve the exalted standard it had promised. The most notable balm for this slowly diminishing dumpster fire being it’s much publicised setting.

It’s evident that the litany of problems that have plagued Cyberpunk go deeper than just superficial glitches and bugs. I believe, in a very roundabout way that the proliferating glitches and bugs have inadvertently benefited CDPR. Distracting players from what is a distinctly average experience. There are elements that demonstrate what this game could and should be. The story, particularly once you encounter Keanu Reeves enigmatic “Johnny Silverhand” is easily Cyberpunks most beguiling propellant. His insatiable charisma, even as an invasive artificial memory, is so compelling to watch manifest as some kind of artificial phantom. You kind of what him to take over your body! The developer’s have also clearly dedicated much of their time detailing Night City itself. Rising like this monolithic cathedral from the depths of a desolate tundra.

Cyberpunk is gritty, but sterile. It’s a city that’s steeped in this grim and oppressive aesthetic, with its impoverished denizens strewn across the cities dirty, urban decay. Veiled in this glossy neon laced facade that, superficially at least gives the impression of character. But stroll around this vacuous city long enough and it becomes immediately apparent that Night City is devoid of any charm. The ambient activities of the Night Cities residence don’t seem to extend past that of an extra that’s just finished their brief walk-on-part in a soap opera. I expected more from this city. A pulse. An identity that wasn’t reliant on the destitution of its exteriors. But its vacant, like a 2020 Christmas market in London! The few people you do see skirt around the streets appear as semi conscious, shakily rendered pixels that follow a strict, predetermined course!

Also, for an RPG, it doesn’t do role playing very well. There is a reasonably generous character customisation to begin with. The usual tailored variables that predictably results in the character looking like those real life versions of Simpson characters. It even comes with the added inclusion of a gender-less archetype, a very progressive and admittedly welcome addition. But once you’re in the game you can’t so much as get a hair cut, let alone imbue your character with any personal identification. You can purchase various vehicles throughout the course of the game too, but aren’t given the option to customise them in anyway. Yet Cyberpunks most glaring omission, a personal detriment to my experience is the absence of a third-person perspective.

This kind of game, particularly one that is so reliant on the composite ideologies of social and economic destitution, juxtaposed with advanced technologies and cybernetics, benefits significantly from a more separated perspective. Being first person you can’t actually see your character interacting with this world. There’s something so intrusive about an FPS when it isn’t really an FPS. Its almost disingenuous, like you’re vicariously reacting to the stimulus, rather than experiencing it. Sure, all games have that inherent detachment, but it’s the games job to make you believe in the engagement. And Cyberpunk, like much of what it has done, fails.

This isn’t the game CDPR intended. It can’t be! The breadth of potential resonating from this concept is too exciting to be sterilised so egregiously. Cyberpunk had all the makings of a genre defining experience. One that would have been as revered as the Witcher 3 is. And who knows, given more time to ferment it may have been. Instead, I’m disappointed. And worse, bored!

What did you think about Cyberpunk? Let me know in the comments below. Cheers.

Glitches, those persistent little gremlins, influenced by a corrosive inclination to disrupt your simulated exploits, that seem to contaminate your games with vindictive, concentrated ambition. I’ve already expressed my consuming hatred for these grotesque defects which subtract the sterility of the experience when your game freezes (Skyrim), falters (Skyrim), Lags (Skyrim) and generally performs as efficiently as Andy Murray during a personality test (well, you probably know what game I’m referring by now). But during these festive times of forgiveness and reflection over the years events, I felt compelled to positively reflect on something as fundamentally aggravating as nuisance insects, whose delicate little vertebra’s you’d sadistically, but happily pound into fine paste, and scrape the excess sentimentally into the nearest convenient, waste disposal facility. But the unpredictable nature of glitches aren’t always crippling, some are undeniably hysterical.

Exposing a games frailties becomes simplicity itself after extended play, despite your initial awe pertaining to its quality and validity when first embraced, you begin to notice the slight irregularities with textures, or fluctuations with the enemy AI. You voluntarily mock a game you were enjoying, which in my view is a positive observation. You subconsciously don’t want a game to be perfect, you don’t want it to be the be the best, you may strive for perfection, but the very notion that a series you admire will never improve over its predecessor is a terrible thought to conceal. Of course the severity of the glitch is a huge influence, and of course faltering performances are often preludes to frustration; crashing for instance isn’t fun nor acceptable, particularly ones that lessen the legitimacy of sobriety, thereby hastening your descent into gaming lunacy, as you begin to babble incoherently about the unappreciated brilliance of the N-Gage *passes straight jacket*. But certain tolerances must be considered.

You don’t want to be regressing to a stage of constant validation, nor one of complete ignorance, certain lenience’s should be far more beneficial and sometimes minor comical miscalculations seem almost natural. A recently defeated enemy levitates or convulses without explanation, or faces begin to invert, an executed leap leaves you suspended helplessly in mid-air, it’s these complacent oversights of a games general flaws and its execution that instills a sense of individuality. Many games convey many similar commonalities, so an almost non strategic implementation of ignorance, inadvertently aids a game to stand out from its peers, often for the worst, but occasionally for the better.

Sure you don’t expect a game to be essentially broken, I mean you wouldn’t expect to purchase a car without a steering wheel, and many glitches are often dependant on your own tolerances which can fluctuate rapidly depending on your own mental frailties. A minor technical glitch that never bothered you before could after increased participation, become an abhorrent, fanatical obstacle. Allowing emissive retorts to uncontrollable situations, should never dictate your expeditions, but where possible-exempting the biblical derisive bugs-glitches should be regarded with a sense of blissful ambiguity, and a mild smirk of understanding.

What are the funniest glitches you’ve come across? And also the most frustrating? Let me know your opinions.