Hi everyone,

I posted my WATER poem for January on the 19th. On that same day I sent Lisa Martino’s high school students in Crescent City, Florida a step-by-step description of my thinking and writing processes that led to the poem. Today I decided to post them here as well. I’m always interested in seeing how someone else goes about starting and finishing a piece of writing. Maybe some of you will like what you see here. I hope so.

Dear Young Poets in Ms. Martino’s Class
January 19, 2011

Since Ms. Martino introduced you to Word of the Month Poetry Challenge, I have been following your progress. I am pleased by your enthusiasm and the way you have accepted the challenge of creating poems inspired by a single word. Good for your teacher and bravo for you!

I know that some of you may never have written poetry before so I decided to offer you a few tips. The idea behind the Word of the Month challenge is to help students become better poets. From month to month I hope to see you make progress toward improving your efforts, and I’m sure that you have the same goal. Having fun while you are improving seems to me like a good deal. Ready? Here we go.

STEP ONE
Take your time. Half the job of writing poetry (or anything else) is thinking about what you find interesting, what you want to talk about. Don’t grab a pen or touch a keyboard until you’ve taken time to think about it.

The word for January is water. What do you know about water? What does water make you think of? What would you like to know about water that you need to look up?

STEP TWO
Write down all the things yu thought abut concerning water. For example:
1. Water is a molecule made of 2 atoms of hydrogen and 1 atom of oxygen
2. Water can freeze into a solid state
3. Water can turn into gas
4. Most water is found in the oceans
5. There is no new water. There is only recycled water.
6. Why is ocean water salty?
7. Why is fresh water not salty?
8. Our bodies are mostly water.

STEP THREE
Choose something about water you might like to write about. For example, Water can freeze into a solid state. That’s what I selected for my poem for this month.

STEP FOUR
Think about what you could write about water freezing. Start another list.
1. water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit
2. At 33 degrees F, water is still water, just very cold.
3. At 31 degrees F, water is still ice.

Hmm. There must be a point, a moment, just as ice crystals begin to form, when water becomes a slushy, sluggish mixture of liquid and solid. At this point it can go either way. Warm up a bit, it’s all water. Cool down a bit, it’s all ice. Interesting thought.

STEP FIVE
Think about what you can do with this idea, this image in your mind. Can you compare water at this stage with something else? Think of similes that help you compare one thing to another. Or metaphors that state one thing AS another.

Here’s what I came up with. I compared the moment when ice is just on the verge of thawing to me in the morning when I’m just on the verge of waking up. I’m not quite asleep and not quite awake. I’m in a mixed state like water and ice.

Can you turn this thought into a poem that others will find clever because they aren’t expecting your surprise ending? Readers love strong endings!

STEP SIX
Now you have an idea. You are going to compare water with yourself and you want to surprise your reader with the way you end your poem. It’s time, at last, to start work on writing your poem.

STEP SEVEN
Here’s my 1st draft. It has a long way to go.

Water freezes at 32 degrees.
It’s close to thawing but can’t quite make it.
Another degree is all it needs
to wake up from its deep sleep,
feel life return like blood
warming its veins,
like me at that moment between
deep sleep and one-eye-open,
trying to decide whether
to greet the morning or dive below
its crystal bright surface
and slumber on.

STEP EIGHT
Work on it. Revise. Rewrite. Make it better. Look for words with similar beginnings (alliteration). Pay attention to where you make the breaks in your lines to help the reader “get” what you’re saying. READ EACH DRAFT ALOUD!

Two drafts later.

Ice is ice at 32 degrees,
close to thawing
but can’t quite make it.
One more degree is all it takes

to awake from its deep state,
feel life return like blood warming veins,
like me, so cozy, that moment between
safe sleep and one-eye-open,
deciding whether to greet the morning
or dive below its crystal bright surface
like fish asleep under ice.

Next draft

Ice is ice at 32 degrees,
close to thawing but can’t
quite make it.
One more degree
is all it takes to awake
like from a deep state,
like blood warming cold veins,
like me, still cozy, at that moment
between safe sleep and one-eye-open,
deciding whether to greet the morning
or dive below its crystal bright surface
like a fish asleep under ice.

Another draft

Under Ice

Ice is ice at 32 degrees,
close to thawing but can’t
quite make it.
One more degree
Is all it takes to awake
like from a deep state,
like blood warming cold veins,
like
me, still cozy, at that moment
between safe sleep and one-eye-open,
deciding whether to greet the morning
or dive below its crystal bright surface
like a fish sleeping under ice.

NOTE: I’m still not happy with this. I’m giving ice the human capacity to feel, to awaken, to possess a sense of warmth. This is sloppy of me and needs to be edited out. I also need more creative similes and stronger verbs and nouns.

A few drafts later

Under Ice

Ice is ice at 32 degrees,
molecules slowed in a dream-like state
lacking the heat
to make a change,

alter the day
like eyes under closed lids
flutter up from another place,
like

me, still cozy, the instant
between safe slumber and one-eye-open,
moving into morning or diving below
its crystal bright surface
like

a fish sleeping under ice.

STEP NINE
When you are satisfied that this poem is one to be really proud of – and not one minute before! – then you are ready to share you poem with the world.

So there you have a few tips on how to make your writing efforts pay off with stronger poems. If it’s too late to write a poem for this month, don’t worry. The pointers will work just as well for February. I look forward to seeing what you do with them.

Sincerely,
David Harrison