A sad man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. “Why so down?” asks the bartender. The man replies, “I lost all my money, and half my friends deserted me when they found out.” “Well,” responds the bartender, “At least you have your other friends.” The sad man sighs and says, “No. They just haven’t found out about it yet.”

***

A Gorgeous Young Woman Is Standing At The Bar Of A Pub

She goes up to the man standing behind the bar and she grabs him by his magnificent and long straggly beard which goes way down past his waist

And she whispers to him in a seductive tone ‘are you the landlord?’

He says ‘no no, sorry, I’m just the barman- the landlord isn’t here just now’

As he answers, she keeps grabbing his beard, stroking it all over; tugging on it gently with every word as she whispers to him ‘do you know when the landlord will be back?’

He says ‘ehhhh no I’m not sure at all, sorry’

And as she continues massaging his facial hair she says to him ‘okay… well when you see the landlord…. You can tell him… There’s no paper towels in the ladies bathroom’.

***

Relationship Arithmetic:

Smart man + smart woman = romance.
Smart man + dumb woman = affair.
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage.
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy.