Tag Archives: April Fools

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Score One For Fibbing Fridays

A history lesson from Pensitivity101.

  1. Why was the Mona Lisa smiling that enigmatic smile?

Because she got her hair done, just in time for the portrait.

2. Who painted The Laughing Cavalier?

Actually, it was Lenny, from Rodrigo’s Painting and Decorating, but it wasn’t his fault.  If the horse’s ass rider hadn’t been yucking it up, and had been paying more attention to where he was going, instead of his Smart Phone, he wouldn’t have walked under Lenny’s ladder.

3. As per the song why was the Policeman laughing?

Because his unmarried daughter had just told him that she was pregnant with twins, and he knew that she had never been on a double date in her life.

4. Who sang ‘I started a Joke?’

That was Chris Rock, just before Will Smith got up and slapped him.

5. From which film did Little April Shower come from?

It was a porno flick, titled Golden Memories.

6. What was the family harvesting in the Panorama programme on April 1st 1957?

That was spaghetti, but it was a meager crop, because spaghetti trees do not do well in England.  The only things the UK has in abundance, are pea-soup fogs, and Carry On movies.  The Italian TV networks seemed to have no reason to boast about their bumper crops of penne, and rotini.  And the trees near the Mediterranean shore were laden with lots of juicy calamari.

7. Who played the Court Jester?

That was Richard Moll, playing bailiff, Bull Shannon, in the hilarious TV series, Night Court.  Oh, the rest of the cast were amusing, but Bull brought a serious silliness to his character, like the time he tried to stop an escaping male tween.  He jumped out in front of him in the corridor, and pointed his finger at the kid, who said, “Yeah??!  Waddya gonna do with that?”  Bull replied, “Poke a 4-inch hole in your forehead if you don’t stop.”

8. Why are Jokers wild?

Because they think that they are hilarious, but no-one else does, or takes them seriously until someone has been injured.  The video for vocal group, Home Free’s version of Castle On The Hill is a sad example.  The she of the featured couple is the worst.  She steals toilet paper from an outhouse, before her he is finished, convinces him to climb over a locked gate, to TP the tree in someone’s back yard, pushes him backward off a dock into shallow water at the edge of a small lake, ignoring possible rocks or submerged branches, and ends by handling fireworks and shooting roman candles at each other.  What fun!!  Adding another entry to the Darwin Awards list.  😯

9. In which country is April 1st officially a bank holiday?

That would be Lichtenstein.  It’s a land-locked little country, high up in the Alps where you can get a Flag Of Convenience for your ocean-going ships, to evade avoid onerous restrictions, such as high taxes, safety regulations, and minimum-wage laws.  The entire country is scarcely larger than the parking lot of a good-sized McDonalds, but they manage to shoe-horn in dozens of discreet, don’t ask – don’t tell, financial institutions, where movie stars, drug lords, and tin-horn African despots hide their ill-gotten riches and filthy lucre.

10. If today is your birthday, what star sign are you?

No Stopping!
No Standing!
No Loitering!

He took her for a car-ride, and showed her a sign that said, Yield.
She showed him one that read, Refuse.

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I’m Going To End It All

ATTENTION, ALL FOLLOWERS AND READERS

This blog-site has been shut down, dismantled and disposed of.

Thank you for your past patronage.
_____________________________

We’re all April Fools if you think that you can get rid of me that easily.  I’m having fresh, new rants and raves delivered from Amazon, even as you read this.

Please keep arms and legs inside the ride at all times.

Anti-nausea pills, barf-bags and refunds will not be issued.

You’re on your own!

Make sure your restraining bar is down tight.  Here we go.

😀

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Why would I quit, when I’ve finally managed to get 2500 followers?   😕

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DRAWANAWARD

Ouroboros

Recently, Cordelia’s Mom bestowed a Versatile Blogger Award upon me.  I treasure it, as I have treasured every blog award given to me.  It’s always nice to know that someone indifferently highly regards me and my abilities.  It has also been fun revealing little things about me, and making fun of myself while I was at it – however….

Like Ouroboros above, the snake that eats its own tail, or the central character in Robert Heinlein’s short story, All You Zombies, I’m going to bring this tale to an end at the same place where we came in. CM’s award was the 15th that I’ve received in the last 4 ½ years.

It all started with another Versatile Blogger Award from The Kindly Hermudgeon, as a nudge to get me moving down the blog, blog, blogging trail, like the Easter Behemoth Bunny.  Since then, there have been many lovely awards, from many lovely fellow bloggers.

award-free-blog

For two main reasons, I have decided to make this an award-free blogsite. First, I feel I have run out of previously untold facts about myself, and don’t feel I have the creative ability to compose any more acceptance posts that are humorous, or entertaining – hell, I’d settle for vaguely interesting.

Second, most awards urge you to pick 10, or 15, other worthy sites to pass the blog-torch on to – and link to them – and notify them. That all sounds suspiciously like a job, and I got out of the job business over 6 years ago.

At least blog awards are a little more upscale than office chain letters. The wife used to hate them.  She had a work friend who was addicted to them, and was always ‘honoring’ her with a copy.  She refused to play along, and always returned them to her friend(?), with the instruction to ‘choose someone else.’

They’re as bad as some religions; always trying to guilt you into doing something you may feel is poor behavior and manners, and always with the threat of retribution over your head. “The last woman who broke the chain got old and fat, and had to go home and make supper for her husband and kids.”

My creative consultant, darling daughter, LadyRyl, @ RylsRostrum, designed The Award-Free flag above, and will install it for me – long-distance, remote-control – like piloting a drone. While it could have applied anytime, OCD me wanted it effective the first of the month.  Then I realized that ‘the month’ was April, and the 1st was April Fool’s Day (how appropriate), and that some of you might regard it merely as a prank.

To those of you who have gifted me with awards in the past, I say again, Thank You Very Much! You have made me feel loved, supported, included and respected.  To those of you who might feel in the future that I deserve a bit more recognition, I will acknowledge any award and its donor, and display it, but there will be no long speech (Pheww, you dodged a bullet on that one), no ‘big reveal’, and no ramification.  (Look it up!)

😀