My coach

The last time I did plank with my eyes fixed on the timer, the 11-year old advised, “mom, don’t look at the clock. It would make the minute feel longer” True that! One minute does feel like eternity when you are working against gravity starting at the timer willing for the seconds to pass. 

Based on his advice, I have turned to our trusted assistant Alexa to be my plank time keeper, and I will admit that not seeing the clock tick makes a difference. This morning as I set the timer for the plank, the child joined me. For the first 30 mins or so, I seemed to be doing fine. Then unbeknownst to me, I tighten and hold my breath. The child is quick to catch me in the act, “mom whatever you do, don’t hold your breath. You should relax into it” 

I so love these moments of role reversal where the child becomes the teacher, and the parent the obedient student. Ram has been learning karate and considers it his job to guide novices like me on matters such as planks and push ups. It tickles me to no end. 

Little Moments Thursday

This  week has been a really hectic one and the weekend promises to be even more tight. Recounting little moments that brought me much joy this week. 

  • Pausing, reflecting, and writing consistently here. Allowed me to connect with myself. 
  • Editing and playing with words with Ram for his short story.  Doing my favorite thing with my favorite person. 
  • Taco Thursdays bursting with flavors. Not to mention catching up with the Jing Bang Gang. Tonight was the first night we all ate together this week. 
  • The days of being on the cusp of spring! This winter has been a long one with cold weather and multiple snow storms. 
  • Being hooked to May be you should talk to someone. One of those books that I don’t want to finish.  
  • Gray’s Anatomy, Good Doctor, Million Little Things, Home Economics – my favorite ABC shows back in season! 

How was your week? What little moments did you savor this week? 

Two years later…

This week marks two years since covid was declared a pandemic and life as we knew it came to a halt. We have come a long way. We are still not out of the woods, who knows where the virus is lurking. Given the enormity of this natural calamity and the suffering it inflicted, we all should be more united, gentler and kinder with each other, right? I still remember the helplessness we all felt as we saw death tolls rise geometrically in Italy, New York City and India, just to name a few.  

… yet two years later, we are a witness to an unprovoked, unnecessary war that is wreaking havoc on the innocent. How is this still happening after all that we have gone through together as a humanity? 

Mindless Eating

I have a habit called mindful eating in my tracker which I have been mindlessly clicking to red for the past several weeks without any qualms. It gets harder every time I fall from my habits to get back up. The mind gets stronger, the motivation weaker, and the practice harder.  I need to summon up the yoda in me and tell myself, “Try, I must!”. Again and again. Till eating mindfully becomes second nature. 

Today, it occurred to me that my mind is like a petulant child that goes astray without any boundaries. Perhaps that should be the starting point. A gentle but firm boundary.

Adai tales

Happy karadaiyan nombu to those of you that observe the festival. 

I decided to make sweet and savory adais, delicacies typically prepared for this occasion, in the last minute. Indian sweets and savory need to be treated with respect. They need planning and preparation. No matter how many times I have learnt this lesson the hard way, I still go with the attitude of winging it. Today was no different. 

Curious to know how it turned out? One member of the household who has little appreciation for homemade Indian sweets was oblivious to it because knowing his preferences, it did not even occur to me that I should offer it to him. To another member of the household, I just extended a cup with one uppu and one vella adai. He examined them with suspicion before taking a bite. A few bites later, he commented, “it’s not bad, just a little rubbery.” I couldn’t make out if it was a disguised compliment or an insult. The final member of the household munched it happily and declared, “it’s actually tasty. It’s authentic”  

Here’s to rubbery authentic adai and a healthy spouse who can continue to be my punching bag and sounding board.

Checking in

We are two and a half months into the new year. Can you believe it? I sure can’t! I remember the new year but since then everything has been a big blur. 

The daily humdrum of life has kept me on my toes. In general, it just feels like I have been drifting along fulfilling my daily commitments. When I am not drifting, I am languishing in inertia. Between covid related precautions and the winter, I have forgotten that there is a world outside my home. I have become used to living in our own bubble. Just doing our routine, keeping in touch with a handful of people that matter to us. 

I stepped out of our bubble yesterday and felt a little left behind. Just this general feeling that the world has been moving along, whether or not I was part of it. It came as a reminder to shake my inertia and pick myself up.

How are you all doing? What have you been upto?

Word of the year

The word that spoke to me is Galvanize. 

I am a big believer in organic growth. I trust and have faith in the process. On the flip side, I am happy to go along when things happen to me but not driven enough to initiate and make things happen. Sometimes I wish I worked more doggedly at things that I am passionate about. I wish I imbibed a little more of the oomph factor and acted with a sense of empowerment. I am embracing the word galvanize to infuse excitement and energy into the things that I do.

Onward and Upwards 2022

Showing up for yourself with patience and grace, day in and day out. Giving more of yourself to the present moment and soaking in the fullness of it. Hobbies and passion that stretch and fulfill you. Rest and recovery that replenish you. Faith and hope when anxiety and fear strike.  People you can lean on, relationships you can count on and friendships that matter. The courage to just be in the face of difficult times and the knowledge that this will pass too. Physical, emotional, and financial well-being. Wishing you all these and more in 2022. 

The year in review

This year, every time we have heaved a sigh of relief and felt like we could have some semblance of normalcy, the pandemic has made its presence felt, as though taunting and reminding us that it’s not that time yet, isn’t it? If 2020 was challenging with the onset of pandemic, 2021 took it a notch higher by daring us to live with the pandemic. 

Living with the pandemic has been stressful. There has been a cloud of apprehension hanging over our heads even as we carried on with our day to day activities. First there was relief that the vaccine was here and that the adults of the household were vaccinated. Then the Delta variant wreaked havoc back home and made us acutely aware of the limitations of living oceans apart. Then came the anxiety that the little ones are not vaccinated yet. And now Omicron. 

Last year, I found it easier to limit ourselves to our household and do our part at these unprecedented times. This year, I felt the pinch of limits and constraints we have placed on ourselves. I ached to see people and have lighter conversations. I craved to get away from the routine.  But thankfully these were passing clouds, ones that added clarity to what constituted a wholesome life for me. Ones that I should work towards as the circumstance permits with an attitude of gratitude. 

I did not make a checklist like I did in 2021 so I have nothing concrete to assess myself against. I loved my word of the year Nourish and embraced it wholeheartedly. I do not know if it improved the quality of my life or my outlook, nor do I have anything remarkable to show for it. The word stayed with me as a silent companion throughout the year. 

My biggest learning has been the need to build rest and recovery in my routine.  The toll that burn out can take on you is not to be underestimated. 

I gained a lot out of following UL’s 30-day podcast wherein we contemplated a word  a day. It taught me to look within with curiosity, which came in handy especially at difficult moments when the mind just wants to flee to the past or future – What am I running from? Can I stay in the present moment and give more of myself to it? 

I was languishing with my habits. Grateful to Limp Cabbage and Momto2Cuddlebugs, who are my habit building habits. They show up and do the work that matters to them. It has motivated me to try harder and be more steadfast in my pursuits. I am not where I aspire and strive to be but I have read more, exercised more, and mediated more. 

Grateful for the blessings of this year and praying for continued well being and grace of my cherished ones and the humanity at large.

Little Moments Thursday

It’s already one week since Thanksgiving, can you believe it? Not complaining given that we are one day closer to the weekend. Here’s jotting down some memorable moments from this week. 

  • You and I would not have noticed it. Even if we did, we would have dismissed it. The subject of this discussion being a discarded pistachio shell. But believe it or not, this one sorry looking shell had the power to keep a gang of boisterous elementary grade kids engaged for over five minutes at the bus stop. Pure fun to watch this utter unadulterated playfulness! 
  • I spent a lot of time talking to my niece and nephew over video calls for the past few weeks. What is not to love about the secrets whispered, stories read, drawings shared, the virtual hugs and the flying kisses. My favorite part of the conversation is my niece’s response to my question, “how was school today kannamma?” and her response unfailingly was “school was awesome  athai”
  • Weekly grocery shopping at TJ’s with the holiday songs playing in the background, cute affordable gift items on display,  and not to leave out the candies, the mint-flavored shortbread cookies,and  the gingerbread cookies. The festive look gave me such a happiness boost!
  • The joy of working with people with strong work ethics, deep subject matter knowledge, and mutual respect.