I have to say I love dyke labels, they are a paradox of verbage. Butch, femme, futch, lipstick lez, ect. What do I feel about the word butch? To me these labels are a feeling not a look. D and i have been together for well over a year, getting closer to the two year mark, and if people were to look at us they would see her as the butch…..wrong again society! I am the one who likes to roll around in the mud, play soccer, watch football, and all that nice “boy” stuff. The summertime, to me, means no shoes, bbqs, and cut off jeans. They may be bootylicious cut off jeans but I’ll be damned if I am prissy about it. I am perfectly comfortable in my stilletto heels….playing baseball. D has short hair, which is about all the butch look she has going for her, if that counts. Rereading this I feel like I sound rude, I just get a little excited!
The most important part of why I feel more butch, even if I don’t look it: When we fight, I am emotionally detached. She gets emotional and cries and “moves out”. She throws tantrums, I make valid points and she yells at me for not listening to her. We are the paradigm of a heterosexual relationship when it comes to fights. She is the girl…always right, needs extra comfort, blah blah blah….and I am the man, I give up because I know I am right and give her what she wants so she will be happy again and stop yelling at me. Sometimes it is suffocating and other times it is just ….. normal. Even the way I think sexually is more, as she says it, like a man. But, that is a story for another time, friends.
Butch is not a gender identifier. I do not want to be like a boy or be a boy…..I just sometimes think more masculine. Like I said it’s a feeling. Most people think I would rather shop than anything, uh, not so much I would rather smoke someone in football. Yes, yes I still do all the girly things like bake and cook dinner, I do my makeup and I like to look nice…but at the end of the day deep down inside I am your average hick tomboy who cleans up nice.
So Very Short and Sweetly Yours: T.
P.S. I tried to get her to let me wear a white pant suit for our wedding….we bought dresses if that tells you how well that worked out for me. They are beautiful and I love them. I still think a white pant suit would have been bitchin.
I am the Master of my Fate 