Horrible Drive-Thru Experience

Apr7 by Revis Edgewater

My wife and I were out last night and we were both hungry. It was already late, so we decided to stop somewhere instead of cooking when we got home. My wife says, “We haven’t had Rally’s in a while. Let’s go there.” I like Rally’s fries, so I agree. When we get there, there’s only one car ahead of us. We placed our order, pulled up to the window, and paid. Then, we waited…and waited. We sat at the window for about 10 minutes before they handed us a bag of food. I start to pull away when my wife tells me to stop. I was too far away from the window now, so we had to park and walk up to the window. They gave us the wrong food.

We each ordered 2 of their spicy chicken sandwiches. I ordered a large fry and she ordered their fully loaded fries. She also ordered an apple pie (one of her pregnancy cravings as she doesn’t normally like apple pies). What was in the bag was: 2 medium fries, 2 fish sandwiches, and 3 hamburgers.

They finally gave us the right bag, after my wife waited at the window for 5 minutes for someone to wait on her. Then, they informed her that they were out of apple pies, but we could wait another 10 minutes for them to make more. My wife informed them that they could give us the money back for the pie because we were getting the hell out of there. They gave us the money back for the pie, and we went home.

When we got home, we found that they screwed up the order again. Instead of 4 chicken sandwiches, we got 3 and a hamburger. Not wanting to deal with it anymore, I said “@#$% it,” and ate the hamburger. The fries, which are normally great, were horrible. There was more salt than potato in mine. I could only eat a handful of them before I couldn’t take any more of them. Our chicken sandwiches tasted weird, so we each only ate half of one.

Overall, it was a terrible experience, and we won’t be going back to Rally’s for a long time after that crap.

When A Joke Is Not A Joke

Mar6 by Revis Edgewater

As you might have noticed, I haven’t written a post about Newb in a while. This is because a few weeks ago, he let me borrow a few bucks and I promised not to blog about him until he did something so stupid I had to say something. Today, was that day. I have to set it up first, however.

When I first started my Newb bashing, we were working at the same station (we work at seperate ones now). Some of the computer monitors had those command hooks on them (the ones you see commercials for that say they are easy to remove from walls without damaging the paint). The work we do is kind of monotonous, so to break it up one day, I handed him one of those hooks. He asked me why. I told him that, even if he had all the money in the world, that was the only hooker he could ever get.

Today, I found another one of the hooks. This hook had a bunch of dirt on the white adhesive part. Since I was needing a break, I took it over to Newb. As I handed it to him, I said, “One of your hookers has a wiping problem. Either that, or she got really drunk and shit herself.”

He laughed as he tore most of the adhesive off. When he handed it back to me, there was a small spot of the adhesive left on it. “Great, now you left her with a piece of toilet paper sticking out of her ass,” I scolded.

He responded, “Or a tampon.”

I was unsure how to respond to such idiocy, so it took me a few seconds. “Tampons don’t go up girls’ asses,” I was finally able to say.

“I’m not a girl, so how should I know?”

“I”m not a girl either, but I knew where tampons went long before I was your age.”

“I was just joking,” he said, without much conviction.

“No, you weren’t. Jokes are funny. That was pure, uncut stupidity.”

“I was joking,” he pleaded.

“Nope. It’s going on the blog.”

Losing My Story

Feb23 by Revis Edgewater

Many years ago, I started writing a story that I hoped would one day be turned into a comic book. My then-roommate’s brother, who is a good artist, said he would do the artwork for me, but he dropped out and now I can’t remember why. I continued to write the story anyways, eventually getting up to enough for 30 issues. I could have gone on further, but I didn’t see the point as I was the only one who was reading them. Keeping them saved on my computer, I thought that I might revisit them one day in the future. After reading twindaddy’s Star Wars story, I decided to go back and read my story again. There’s a problem, however. My story is no longer on my computer.

When I originally typed them up, it was on my old computer. I thought I had transferred it onto my new one, but apparently I didn’t. That blows. I did most of the writing while on break at work, so it was all written in notebooks. I’m pretty sure I still have the notebooks somewhere, but now I have to find them. Plus, I have to type them all over again. What a bunch of suck. If I can find them, I’ll re-type them and put them up here for you to read, if you want me to. Wish me luck.

My Day at the Doctor

Dec20 by Revis Edgewater

Notice how I said “day” at the doctor? Not “appointment”, not “visit”, but “day”. Normally my doctor’s appointments only take an hour or an hour-and-a-half. Yesterday, however, I was there all f’n day. My appointment was at 3. I left at 7:15. This caused me multiple problems, and I’ll explain.

I was supposed to be at work at 2:30. I told them a week ago that I would be late because of my visit to the doctor, not expecting it to take as long as it did. As I also had to pick up a prescription before I went in, because of how long they took, the earliest I could get there would be 8. I called them and explained the situation. They gave me crap about it, but told me it wasn’t worth me coming in for the 3 hours remaining in the shift. I wasn’t expecting to be that late and it wasn’t my fault that it took that f’n long.

As soon as I walked into the doctor’s office, the receptionist asked my name. I told them. She looked at her list and said I wasn’t on it. I explained that I made the appointment at my last visit because I need to be seen every 30 days to get pain pills for my bad back. It’s been 30 days. She asked me if I had my appointment card with me. I didn’t. I had left it at home, as I’ve never needed to bring it with me before. She said she would write me into their schedule and told me to have a seat.

The waiting room is packed, so I find a seat that’s the furthest away from the other people there. I’m only sitting there for 5 minutes when some lady to my right starts talking loudly on her cell phone. I tried to block it out, but this lady was talking too loudly. She’s on a rant that I couldn’t believe she was talking about in public. This retard was telling the person on the other end that when she beats her kids that it hurts her more than them because it causes pain in her back. She then goes on to complain that because someone called the state on her, she can no longer touch her children when they’re fighting or she’ll get in trouble. Good. I hope you do get in trouble, bitch. You shouldn’t be beating your kids in the first place.

After listening to her for 20 minutes, her voice is drowned out by the guy a few chairs down from me, who is singing along to his iPod. This guy’s voice is about as pleasant to listen to as getting kicked in the crotch is to feel. He sings for about 15 minutes until, thankfully, he falls asleep. After being asleep for a few minutes, he starts to snore… very loudly. At this point, I’m very uncomfortable. I have a stupid bitch talking in one ear, and some douche snoring in the other.

I was also uncomfortable because sometimes when I go to the doctor, I have to take a piss test to ensure I’m not taking anything that the doctor doesn’t want me to take. Ok, fine. Whatever. I didn’t go before I left because I knew if I did, they’d make me take one and I wouldn’t be able to piss. Unfortunately, with the wait they made me go through, it was getting harder and harder to hold it. I walk up to the counter and ask if I need to take one, because, if not, I was going to go. She goes back to ask someone and, when she comes back, informs me that I would be taking one. Great.

At this point it’s 5:30, so I text a guy at work to let him know what’s going on and to have him tell my supervisor that I’ll be there as soon as I can. 6:00 comes around, and I’m still not called back. Then 6:30. By this time, I’ve been sitting in their incredibly uncomfortable waiting room chairs for so long that my back is killing me, so I get up and walk around. The only other person in the waiting room is a guy who is waiting on his wife to come out.

A nurse sees me pacing and asks if I was waiting to be seen still. I roll my eyes and say I was. Did she really think I was sitting out there all that time just for the hell of it? I tell her my name and she informs me I wasn’t written into their schedule. They f’n forgot about me!

A male nurse pulls me back, and while he’s weighing me (one of the two good things about this trip was that I found out I’ve lost 10 pounds since my last visit), he asks me how I’m doing. I give him a look that tells him what a stupid question that was to ask me. He lets it drop and pulls me into a room. He asks me why I’m there. I tell him that all I needed was my prescription. Then, he informs me that my normal doctor (the one I was supposed to see) was already gone for the day and I had to see another guy. By now, I don’t care who I see as long as I get my prescription.

The doctor walks in (I had seen this guy a couple of times before, so at least I knew he knew a little bit about my history) and he apologizes for the wait. He asks a few mundane questions, then asks me to remind him where my back pain is located. I tell him. He proceeds to dig his finger into my back (right where I told him I was hurting) and asks, “Right there?” No, not right there, asshole. I just jumped and screamed because you missed the spot. Then, without apologizing for causing me a lot of pain, he leaves the room and tells me the nurse will bring me my prescription. A minute later, he walks by the door with his coat on and his briefcase in his hand. This asshole was getting to leave before I was!

The nurse walked in a few seconds later, hands me my prescription, and, without actually saying it, tells me to get out. No piss test. I still really have to piss, but because they want to go home, I have to hold it for a little bit longer. I was finally able to go, about 10 minutes later, when I got to the pharmacy. This is when I called work and explained the situation.

“You work second shift and didn’t get a morning appointment,” was the question I was sarcastically asked when I talked to them. I tried, but they said 3 was the only opening they had. I have no choice on the date, either. I have to go every 30 days. Legally, they can’t give me a new prescription before then and if I go after, I’ll run out and be in too much pain to work anyways.

So, I go home and the second good thing happened. I got to spend the rest of the night with my wife.

Apologizing for the Suck

Dec15 by Revis Edgewater

It was reported on ESPN earlier this week that Jimmy Claussen, the Panther’s rookie quarterback, apologized to some of his teammates for his bad play. As a fan of the team, I’m glad somebody is apologizing for the horrible season that they’re having, but it’s coming from the wrong person. There are two people who need to be apologizing to all Panther fans: Jerry Richardson, the owner, and John Fox, the head coach. Jerry Richardson needs to apologize because, in the offseason, he let go of almost every player that had starting experience: Julius Peppers, Jake Delhomo (although I’m glad they got rid of him), Brad Hoover, and a few others. He also didn’t go after anyone in free agency. He decided to go with one of the league’s lowest payrolls to save himself some money with a possible lockout coming next year. Guess what, Mr. Billionaire? You don’t need that money and you should be ashamed of yourself for charging people money to watch the team you put together. The way that they’re playing, you should be paying us to watch them.

John Fox needs to be apologizing as well, for two reasons: for sticking with Delhomo last year for as long as he did, and for not developing the young talent that is on his team. I will admit that he was given a crap hand this season as far as players go because of Richardson, but he has done nothing to get these guys playing any better. He is in the last year of his contract and he’s acting like he doesn’t care. I guess he knows he won’t be back next year.

Since I don’t want to make this all about the Panthers, because thinking about how they’re playing this year pisses me off, here are a few other people from around the NFL that need to apologize to the fans.

Brett Favre: for crowding up the offseason with non-stop reports about whether or not you’d come back, then for the whole texting thing that we still have to hear about, and for sucking. I might not mind it so much if you were doing as good as you were last year, but your play this year could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

ESPN: for making us listen to all the Favre stories in the first place. Also, what’s with always commenting on Brady’s hair? Who gives a shit about Brady’s hair? Drop it already.

And finally, any NFL player who has ever been arrested for DUI: you make more than enough money to cover cab fare. Not only that, I’m sure the team would send someone to pick you up if you called them. You’re all 33 grams of suck and if you’re stupid enough to do this, you don’t deserve to be an NFL player.