Category Archives: Writing

The Defense Force

by Revis Edgewater

Hey everyone, I’ve got good news! The third book in the Erratic Sun trilogy, written by Matticus and myself, is available for purchase! You can purchase the paperback version by clicking the link below. Thank you to everyone who has supported us over the years!

Paperback: https://a.co/d/709svHG

Kindle: https://a.co/d/5sFfw8y

If you haven’t bought the first two books in the trilogy, you can find them (and all of my other work) in the Buy My Books tab at the top of the page.

Thank you again.

Roscoe: Ronin

by Revis Edgewater

He burst into the Throne Room, slamming the door and causing every eye to turn to him. Roscoe’s armor was dented and covered in blood. His sword, which he carried in his hand, was equally blood covered and damaged, with a multitude of nicks marring the blade. Ignoring the guards who were asking him to drop his weapon, Roscoe stomped up to stand before the Jester and the First Knight, who had been having a conversation about what kind of tacos they should get for lunch.

“You left me to fight an entire legion of trolls by myself?” Roscoe demanded.

Revis, the First Knight, snapped his fingers and said, “That’s what I was supposed to do this morning.” Turning to the Jester, Matticus, he added, “I told you it had something to do with Roscoe.”

“Thanks for helping him figure it out, Roscoe,” Matticus said. “It’s been bugging him all morning.”

Rolling his eyes at the Jester, he looked at Revis. “Did you not get the text I sent?”

“Of course I got the text scroll you sent via carrier pigeon,” Revis answered. “Carrier pigeons are very reliable.”

“Then why didn’t you come help?”

“His Jesterness gave me the day off.”

“He’s been working really hard lately and needed a break,” Matticus interjected.

“So you left me to die?”

“But you didn’t die,” Revis remarked. Then, he paused to think for a moment. “Wait… you fought a legion of trolls by yourself. You shouldn’t be able to survive that. How did you not die?”

“I don’t know,” Roscoe shrugged. “You write this stuff.”

“He’s got you there,” Matticus laughed. “And you would have to be a very lazy writer to have something that big happen without explaining how it happened.”

“True enough,” Revis admitted. Addressing Roscoe, he began, “OK, first you…”

“No!” Roscoe shouted, throwing down his sword with a loud clang. “That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m done!”

“What are you saying?” Matticus asked.

“I QUIT!!!!!”

With that, he turned on his heel and stormed off, leaving the Jester and First Knight looking at each other for answers. When none were forthcoming, Revis shrugged. “What a baby…”

Roscoe: The Fifteenth Knight?

by Revis Edgewater

The following is the transcript of the disciplinary hearing of Roscoe, formerly the 12th Knight of the Kingdom, for dereliction of duty.

Revis: Do you know why you’re here today?

Roscoe: Yes, sir.

Revis: What do you have to say for yourself?

Roscoe: Nothing, sir. I was in the wrong, and I take full responsibility for my actions.

Revis: That’s not good enough. You were AWOL for five days. You will tell me where you were. Now.

Roscoe: (pause) I planned a romantic getaway for my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her to her favorite vacation spot. I took her to her favorite restaurant. We went horseback riding and walked on the beach.

Revis: Nicely done. However, I’m still waiting for the part where this became my problem.

Roscoe: With all the planning I was doing, I forgot to ask for that time off until a couple days before the trip. I was told someone else had already taken those days, and I needed to work them. I don’t have a death wish. I wasn’t going to tell her we weren’t going, so I just went.

Revis: Hold on a minute. Let me get this straight. You’ve helped protect the Kingdom from sparkly vampires and hardened criminals for years now, but you were too afraid to tell your girlfriend you might have to postpone a trip?

Roscoe: Yes, sir.

Revis: Smart man. You definitely made the right call.

Roscoe: (pause) Sir?

Revis: If you’d have canceled on her, she’d have chopped your balls off, at the very least.

Roscoe: Does that mean I’m not getting punished?

Revis: (laughs hysterically) That’s a good one! (resumes laughing) But, seriously, you’re totally getting punished.

Roscoe: But you said I did the right thing!

Revis: Yeah, you did the right thing for you, but not for the Kingdom. As punishment for your actions, you will have to work double shifts, one for each day you were AWOL, and you’re hereby being demoted from the Twelfth Knight to the Fifteenth Knight.

Roscoe: Sir, that’s completely unfair!

Revis: There are many lands that kill knights for doing what you did. Be glad you live here instead.

Roscoe: Yes, sir. (turns to leave and mumbles something unintelligible under his breath)

Revis: What was that?

Roscoe: Uhhh, nothing, sir. (walks out of room almost at a running pace)

END

The Seven Sceptres: Champions and the Chaotic Dead

by Revis Edgewater

A few posts ago, I said that I’d been spending a lot of time recently working on my publishable projects. Well, one of them is finished and the Kindle version is live on Amazon. It’s called Champions and the Chaotic Dead, and it’s a follow up to The Seven Sceptres anthology. Cowritten by my writing partner, Matticus, this book was long in the making and it’s something that we’re very proud of.

We’d appreciate it if you’d all give it a try. Thank you.

For The Seven Sceptres, click here.

For The Seven Sceptres: Champions and the Chaotic Dead, click here.

Haunted Angel Part 2

by Revis Edgewater

I shot three quick bursts at the creature. After taking nine bullets to the head, it simply laughed at me. The lights suddenly flickered and the creature was not alone. Demonic versions of my entire team now surrounding me. ” Oh… fuck , ” I muttered, as a sense of utter dread overcame me.

Panicking, I began firing at the entire room, not really aiming at anything specific. About the only thing I accomplished is shooting out the light. I quickly flipped on my night – vision goggles. Unfortunately, they were still there , but it seemed like they couldn’t see me, because they were all standing around looking confused. One of them swiped at air. Crouching down, I slowly started to back away as quitly as I could. Apparently, I wasn’t quiet enough.

They began stalking me. Moving ever closer, they took random swings in hopes of finding me. ” Ahh,” Lead said. “He’s figured out that we are blind to him. Does it feel good knowing that you have a tactical advantage over us? It doesn’t matter. You’re still not going to make it out of this room alive.”

He’s trying to scare me into giving away my position. Silently, I took off my headset and threw it across the room. Four of them stopped and started to move in that direction. Lead looked right at me. ” Did you really think that would work, Angel?” he asked.

The door was not far. I needed to make a distraction. Pulling out a grenade, I pulled the pin and threw it in front of Lead. I took off running. The grenade went off and I was momentarily blinded. Dammit! It was a flashbang. The demons groaned in frustration and I ran right into the door. I felt the blood start running out of my nose. After feeling around for the knob, I found it and got my ass out of there.

Locking it behind me, I took off running again. I heard the door shatter behind me, but I didn’t turn around. I kept running. Taking many twists and turns as possible, I began to think I had lost them. It seemed as though my problems were over, but unfortunately, I had forgot one critical element in my mad dash. There were still soldiers in this place. That thought had escaped my mind until I ran into a whole squadron of them.

One of them yelled for me to stop. Instead, I shot him in the throat as I dove for cover. Bullets whizzed by me. A few even managed to nick me, but none were even close to serious. Kneeling behind a large box, I chucked a grenade off to my right. Pivoting left, I used the ensuing explossion to cover my gunfire. Three down, about 30 more to go. At this rate those monsters won’t have to kill me. These soldiers will do that for them.

While I was trying to think of a way out of this impossible mess. Shouts of terror came from the soldiers behind me. I dared a look. The three soldiers I had just killed had turned into demons and started killing the others. The entire courtyard filled with the sounds of gunfire and explosions. Shit! Not only do I have to get out of this place in the middle of a war, I have to do it without killing anyone else or they’ll turn into one of those monsters.

“There he is!”

Turning, I saw my team coming after me. There was no way out. I was dead.