Category Archives: Life

There’s a Sulphurous Gas…

by Revis Edgewater

Tonight, we were all just sitting around in the living room. Baby J and Baby E were playing some kind of trivia game on one of their phones when the following exchange occurred.

Baby J: Name a type of pollution.

Revis: Air…water…

Mrs. Revis: The toxic fumes that come out of your sister’s ass.

The 10 year old Baby E: (laughing) Yeah, the toxic fumes coming out of my ass.

As soon as she said it, her face dropped. Her eyes were as big as they could possibly get. She tried to stop it before it came out of her mouth, but she couldn’t. Her face was as red as it could be as she braced for getting yelled at for cussing. The yelling never came, however.

Her parents were too busy laughing.

New Job Update

by Revis Edgewater

I got my 30 day review yesterday… about a week late. Something I need to remember for my reviewer’s review.

So far, it’s going well. During my review they said they’re pleased with my performance. I’ve made a few small mistakes here and there, which is to be expected from someone who hasn’t been working there very long. Thankfully, they’re patient enough not to go ballistic about it on the few occasions I messed up. They simply brought the mistakes to my attention and gave me pointers on how to avoid making the same mistakes again.

While they’re pleased with my performance, I am satisfied with the job too. It’s certainly not the worst job I’ve ever had. The work is mostly simple. There is enough work (usually) to keep me busy all day without feeling rushed, so the days go by fairly quickly. My new coworkers are nice and mostly cool.

I’m glad I finally made the change and went with this job. Just the schedule change alone was worth it, but the fact that I’m making more money doing something that isn’t running me ragged like my last job is icing on the cake.

The Dice Game

by Revis Edgewater

Last night, Mrs. Revis had some running around that she needed to do, so she took care of it while I watched the girls. For the most part, we all went to our respective corners and did our things. Baby J went up to her room and did what teenage girls do: she spent all night on her phone. Baby E played Minecraft on the Switch for a few minutes before deciding to watch Stranger Things on Netflix instead. I kept myself busy by finishing up the latest Dragonlance novel by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman (for those of you wondering, it was OK, but it was kinda disappointing too).

Once my book was done, I went to check on Baby E. She was watching her show with great interest. It was at that moment when a few different things popped into my head. First was, while I’ve never seen the show, I have heard that the characters play D&D in it. Since I’d just finished reading a book set in a D&D realm, it made sense for it to be on my mind. The second thing was the series of posts Matticus has been writing about playing D&D with his boys. The last was that Baby E  already has her own set of dice. Actually, she has several.  She saw my sets a few years ago and asked me what they were for. I told her they were for a game I used to play. She, of course, wanted her own after that.  So, we got her some and she just makes up her own games with them.

After her episode ended, I asked her about the characters playing Dungeons and Dragons on the show. She said they did play it. “I used to play that game a lot,” I told her. “That’s what my big bag of dice were for.”

“Oh, so that’s the dice game?”

“Yeah. That’s the dice game.” I paused for a second. “You know, I still have a couple of the books, so we can play it… if you want to.”

She asked me how you played it. I gave her a quick, simple explanation of what you did during the game. She thought about it for a minute before saying she wanted to try it. There wasn’t enough time to start a campaign last night before I had to start cooking dinner, but there was enough time to create a character for her. I pulled the book out and showed her the different races. She chose a halfling. Then I went over the different classes she could be and gave brief descriptions of each. Fighters fight. Rogues are thieves. Clerics are healers, etc.

The last class on the list was barbarian. She asked me what they were. “They’re kinda like fighters,” I told her, “except they get really angry when they fight, like the Hulk.”

She thought about that for a second before putting on a wicked grin and laughing evilly. “I want to be a barbarian.”

… what have I done?

A New Chapter in Life

by Revis Edgewater

I am not a big fan of change. I prefer to stay in places and situations where I feel comfortable. Because of that, I will sometimes stay somewhere that I should be moving on from. There are a couple jobs I’ve had that I should have left long before I did, for various reasons, but I stuck with them just because I didn’t want to change.

Today was the start of something different for me, though. I started a new job today. I can’t say for sure whether I like it or not yet, because it’s hard to really tell much about a job based on an orientation meeting and a couple hours of training, but it will bring about some big changes for me. First, it’s more money than my last job. Second, and more importantly (to me, at least), is a much better schedule. Honestly, I would have taken my old salary someplace as long as they improved my schedule.

I don’t really have much negative to say about the last place I was working. They treated me well. The work, while sometimes hectic, really wasn’t all that hard most of the time. I just had two big problems with it. One: I clocked in at 3:30 a.m. That meant I had to wake up at 2:30 a.m. in order to get ready and make it to work on time. When you have to wake up that early for work, you have two choices. You can either go to bed early, and miss out on time with your family, or you can barely sleep. I chose the latter and barely slept.

Two: I had to work at least one day on the weekends. When they first instituted this policy, they made me work Saturdays. I finally got to the point to where I started refusing to work on Saturday and they let me come in on Sundays instead.

At my new job, I’ll be starting work at 7, Monday through Friday. Weekends off.

Hopefully, the work is as good as the schedule. If it’s not, that’ll suck, but I’ll deal with it to be able to work the days and hours that I need to.

And Then It Was Gone…

by Revis Edgewater

I was at the grocery store earlier getting stuff for dinner tonight. While I was walking around shopping, I saw something. What did I see? That’s the thing. I don’t remember. Whatever it was, it’s gone now.

I do remember that, at some point, I saw something that made me think, “I should make that into a blog post.” That’s when life happened. I had to put the groceries away. I had to go pick up Baby J from soccer conditioning. I showed Baby E what she needed to do when she moved clothes from the washer to the dryer. Then I decided to sit down and write that post I was thinking about at the grocery store.

But I couldn’t… The idea has fled into the dark recesses of my mind, probably never to be seen again.

I thought about it for a few minutes. It still didn’t come to me. This has happened to me so many times since I started this blogging thing. If I actually wrote every post I ever thought about writing, I bet I’d double the number of posts I have on here. Or, close to it.

Oh well. It sucks, but there’s nothing I can really do about it except tell myself that if the idea was that good in the first place, it’ll come back to me eventually.

Unsolicited Cucumber Pic

by Revis Edgewater

Mrs. Revis and I started a garden last year. We had a few tomato plants and threw down some cucumber seeds. The cucumbers were moderately successful, but the tomatoes took off. Eventually, we had more than we could eat and we ended up giving our extras away to some of my coworkers.

This year, we tried to add green onions to the two we did last year. It didn’t go well. We only managed to get a handful of them before they were no more. “Why were they no more?” you may be asking. Well, the answer to that is simple. Our cucumber plants took over their plot from one side and the tomatoes came in from the other.

We once again have more tomatoes than we can use and a lot more cucumbers than we got last year, including this monstrosity.

Mother Nature is Mocking Me

by Revis Edgewater

I work in a grocery warehouse. When one works with groceries, it means that there’s 3 different temperature zones you have to deal with: ambient (room temperature), refrigerated, and frozen. Most of the time, I’m only in one of the cold zones for no more than a minute or two at a time. Tuesday, however, I needed to be in the refrigerator for a little more than an hour. Because this happens from time to time, I keep a jacket in my car just in case.

After doing what I needed to do in the fridge, I went to take my jacket back out to my car. It was raining when I walked outside, but not much. Not much, that is, until I stepped out from underneath the covered sidewalk in front of the building. As soon as I did, the rain began to pour. My car wasn’t very far away, but by the time I reached it I was soaked. As I was already dripping wet, I didn’t rush back to the covered part of the sidewalk. There was no point.

It was also equally pointless because as soon as I stepped foot back underneath the covered sidewalk, the rain let up, almost to the point where it stopped completely. I stood there for a second shaking my head before my supervisor came walking up to me laughing his ass off. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. It literally only rained hard while you were out in the parking lot.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you found it humorous. Why don’t you take that cigarette you’re smoking and shove it up your ass?”

Ok, I didn’t actually say that to him. I wanted to, but my need for employment made me hold my tongue.

And that’s not the only time. In fact, similar things happened twice today. Earlier this morning, it was raining when I went out to make a delivery, so I put on a poncho. When I got to my destination, it had stopped. I thought about taking the poncho off, but I knew the moment I did the rain would start again. So, I left it on… and the rain never came.

Not then, at least. The rain waited to come back right when I was unloading the first part of my last delivery. My poncho was sitting on the passenger seat and I’d hoped that I could get everything unloaded before I got too wet. I was wrong. I was soaked once more and, to top it all off, the rain stopped right when I started pulling away to go back to the warehouse.

I’m not sure what I did to Mother Nature to make her torment me like she is, but she needs to stop. It’s getting highly annoying.