It’s been a long day. I didn’t write yesterday and it seems like such a long time since I’ve posted. Tomorrow is the last day of the 31 Day Challenge and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I will need to decide whether to continue at this pace or relax a little (but not too much).

I got a new haircut today. I asked for tough, and I got it. I asked for classy. I got it. Now I’m getting the attitude to go with my new look. It’s past time to stop taking other’s b.s. My Dear Annie tells me I need to tap into more yang energy. I feel it building. Another dear friend taught me, in her boundaries class, how to put up my protective shield when I needed to stay strong and safe. In class we were told to imagine a color. At that time, few years ago, my protection was a soft pink oval. Tonight, at a time when I needed it, a steel gray box surrounded me.
Tonight I also realized a few things. I do not have to allow another’s anger to hurt me. I do not have to give away my power. I do not have to allow another to intimidate me, or bully me.
I realized that when I set boundaries and speak my truth that my message can be received without a reaction of anger. I am learning that when I am honest, and interacting with healthy people, most will respond thoughtfully and reasonably. I have been practicing my new skill and am beginning to trust the consistent results. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I am crushing the old code of conduct: Don’t talk, Don’t trust, Don’t feel. It’s taken quite some time but I’m takin’ back my power. And I’m learning not to go it alone. I can call on others when I need a little back up. This rising red energy feels good. I no longer need to see things through my adult child haze. I no longer have to fear the anger that seeped out of his pores and filled the air of our home for so many years of our marriage.
The moon shines bright in the clear dark sky. Peaking through my parted drapes. My eyelids pleading me to close for the night. Another day almost passing into the next. Tomorrow a continuation of the journey to a new me. The true me pushing to shine through.
I have a special mask to wear. Classy, tough, with beautiful bone structure. Something my beautician that told me I possess. I think it’s the first time that anyone ever told me that. She told me everything I needed to hear. That my new cut would show the strength of my strong jawline and nice cheekbones. That the square jawline was not something to hide, as I had always thought. It was too be accentuated. It was a symbol of my strength. How did she know just what I needed to hear? Just what I was after?
I was meant to end up with Sonya today. She gave me what I needed.
A boost for my confidence. And the new look to help maintain it.
Maybe tomorrow… the wardrobe.