since i'm not in the city, i have been trolling for ways to help out with the sandy aftermath. (i hate feeling so far away.)

turns out fandom is already on it! fandomaid is awesome.

i am offering a story (at least one, maybe more depending on the size of the winning bid) in as many fandoms as i could think of, and i'd be more than happy to add another if you want it. most of you know what i write, but i am willing to stretch my proverbial box. i could even do mystery series that no one ever really seems to want, so if you want something, just ask. if i can read it/get a hold of it/watch it fast enough and connect to it, i will be more than happy to write it. i mentioned any YA books/series because i've already read so many of them, but it's true of all books (including old school canon books, "classics", random fiction, and trashy thrillers. though i don't think i could write a mystery myself.)

also i put west wing on the list. i think i might have one more in me, so if you want one of those, this is your chance. i doubt i'll be writing it in any other case.

my auction thread is here: bid now!

there are a lot of offers starting to come in, so see if there's something that tickles your fancy, or if you want to offer something.

anyway. it's a good cause! you get a story and i get to feel like i'm helping! somehow!

off to take a shower.

dear yuletide author!

you are so amazing. this is just frosting on the cake, dear author. writing one of my requests is present enough indeed.

however, in case you wanted to know more: i am a canon freak. i like angst and sadness and reality. this year i picked happier fandoms than most years (i really don't know what is up with me!) so there isn't as much room for angsty sadness, but if you want to kill someone off, i am your recipient. (no, really.) the only thing i don't really want is a lot of sexing, or even really a focus on relationships like that. i am not against then, i just love the characters more. if that makes sense? go ahead and put some sexing in, if you're going that way, but also have some plot? and really, really, really, i am not a fan of AUs.

but i adore all my fandoms this year. just offering them make me so so happy. seriously, there's no way you can make me unhappy here. i am so excited!!

for more specifics on my requests, click below! and i think pene knows my likes and dislikes more than anyone right now. fox1013 is another good resource.

( lumatere chronicles, code name verity, suri's burn bookCollapse )

THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU. I CAN'T WAIT. just do what you love, and i'll love it.

eeeee!!!!

yo, femslash writer! welcome!

whatever we matched on, i will be happy. there was no real order to the choices here. hooray for loving lots of women in different fandoms. :) thank you so much for writing for me! :)

i like things dark and twisted. i like things complicated. no happily ever afters - i like happily beginnings though. or stolen moments. or things in between. i like strong women making decisions. i like hand holding and making mistakes and making up and trust issues and reaching out together across dark voids. manipulation and friendship going hand in hand. but also softness and tenderness when surprising.

i don't like bette and tina together. can't really explain it, but yeah. i have only read birds of prey/batgirl . . . and before the reboot. though i am trying to get the new trades as we speak. so. that's why most of the characters are the ones they are. i love huntress the best, i think, the mafia's daughter version, but there really. strong women. kensi blye is awesome and she's so good with the boys that i want her to have a little fun herself. though please, please, please, not with nell.

i have almost all my stuff on AO3, and if you have any questions about what i like, there are lots of people (pene is a good bet) - but the best way is probably through the mods.

regardless, i will love whatever you write, i promise. and if you want it happy, if happiness is your thing, go for it. i will love it. yaaay!!

hey my vegan and educated food people!!

my parents are having the annual bishop's dinner at our house. people spent a ton of money to bid on dinner, at my house, with my mom cooking, and the bishop in attendance.

this year, there is someone allergic to seafood.

but more importantly, there is a vegan. almost all my mom's recipes involve mayo, cheese, etc.

we need ideas for appetizers, dessert, side dishes, etc. the no butter and the no egg makes things hard, because my mom makes all her own crusts, stuffs her own mushrooms, etc. or if you know of easy substitutes? it's a dinner for 18, so it's hard to just make things for just one person.

(my mom is an excellent cook. we don't know the extent of the veganism, so we are erring on the side of really vegan. and that means mom can't make her fruit tart because it has jello in it.)

PLEASE HELP, INTERWEBS.

Dear Most Fabulous Yuletide Writer:

you are awesome. no, really. i kind of had a smorgasbord of requests this year - i missed the nomination round and didn't get to nominate my perennial requests, though i *did* find fandoms that i, of course, adore. which is AWESOME. which is why you are AWESOME. because you like these fandoms too!

the four most important things to know about me:
1. please no boyslash
2. please no incest
3. please feel free to get all dark and twisted
4. please, if you are putting in any historical or psychological reference, pretty PLEASE research well!

(you know how some people are jerked out of a story if there is bad punctuation? i am shot to neptune when the history/psych doesn't make sense/is factually wrong.)

this is also to say that i am okay with pretty much everything else. i mean it. kill people off, have horrible things happen (with the exception of smekday) - ask anyone, dark and twisted are my twin loves. (for all questions i refer you to gamesiplay and fox1013 - one is the male half of my brain, the other understands my complete devotion to YA. and let's be honest, YA is where some of the best writing is happening these days.)

but i know you are going to be awesome, YT writer. you know how i know? i just do. kind of like patrick jane. only not with the circus background.

onto the requests!

( these are a few of my favorite thingsCollapse )

i am actually easy to please. ;) don't let my blathering scare you. i am just prone to rambling about things, and you know. IT IS YULETIDE! i will love whatever you write, and i hope you are as excited to write one of the fandoms as i am to read something in there.

NOTE: i will be traveling for the holidays and will have limited internet - if i don't comment right away, or only leave a brief one, please don't get worried - i will just be a little stuck. but then! I WILL BE FREE TO SING YOUR PRAISES FOR YEARS.

rock on in the yuletide spirit, my friend.

I Came This Far Across the Tracks

fandom: friday night lights
recipient: likeadeuce
pairing: tyra/lyla
rating: pg
disclaimer: texas is a figment of my imagination. really.
notes: many thanks to ip, for last minute beta work. this was a pinch hit i was lucky enough to get!

summary: But way back where I come from, we never mean to bother,
We don’t like to make our passions other people’s concern,
And we walk in the world of safe people, and at night we walk into our houses and burn.
(Dar Williams)

( Two girls, a town in Texas, and dreams of bigger things than football.Collapse )

all cracked up to be.

fandom: BtVS
recipient: shadowings
pairing: buffy/faith
rating: r
word count: ~3500
disclaimer: nothing is ever mine.
warnings: no one dies. it's unusual for me, i know. nothing terribly traumatic. though it is buffy/faith, so it's not exactly puppies and rainbows.

notes: thanks to intl_princess for the hand-holding and beta-reading.

summary: It’s the end of the world, like always, and while the world isn’t lacking potential, it needs doers. Set in late s7.

( They are two girls, like they always were.Collapse )

you GUYS.

i opened my e-mail today all bummed out between studying and being at work, and there was a notice saying i had a gift story for me at AO3.

so i went, and it's a BOOK THIEF/HARRY POTTER CROSSOVER.

HOW GENIUS IS THAT??

i am so thrilled. Death talks about harry potter! and it's written really well, it's all colors and the formatting and lines like this: Whatever the reason, I grabbed his soul—a patchwork of broken pieces, hastily sewn back together—unceremoniously and dragged it away. and death has emotions and talks about books and hans hubermann and PIE CHARTS and.

you should read it. really. you should go read it now.

At the Sunsets I Saw Him.

the invisibility cloak part is absolute genius.

really. and man, it proves more than ever that "the book thief" is the greatest thing ever for fic. seriously, i love zusak's death so much.

THIS IS IMPORTANT.

please, today, take a moment to think about what you are grateful for. how lucky we are that we know we have people who understand us, who are there for us, for know us. who wouldn't leave us alone. i think about my family, my friends, my people all around the world, who text me and e-mail and call and make it so that even when i feel completely and totally alone, i know that i'm not. i have all of you, i have so. many. people. when i think about it.

not everyone has people. some people are completely alone, whether by choice or just the nature of things.

this weekend has been intense. and i realized why i want to go into psychology, also. i mean, i realized that i wasn't kidding myself when i think it's what i want to do and the type that i want to do. and i got one of the nicest compliments ever: that someone can see that i wouldn't just be good at it, i'd be great at it.

i know what i want to do now, and why i want to do it.

please go watch this video: twenty-three by mc lars

the song was written by MC Lars, who went to my sisters' school, whose mother is one of my favorite local librarians. (he has a facebook page with more information about the song, why he wrote it, etc.) he's a funny kid, he's a great kid, he's really amazingly smart, and the fact that he teamed up with AFSP just increases my appreciation of him and AFSP (which is the one foundation a year that can be guaranteed of my support). they not only do work with suicide prevention, but with suicide survivors, and families affected by suicide. there are 50,000 violent deaths a year in the us. over half of those are suicides. the suicide rates of middle-agers (45-54) has surpassed that of the elderly for the first time in recorded history.

raise awareness. reach out. educate. and appreciate the fact you are not alone, for whatever reason, because of anyone or anything. tell the people who love you, that you love, that you love them and appreciate them.

it takes just a moment, and you can never say it enough.

thank you, each and every one of you. you have increased the quality of my life, and i am forever grateful. thank you for reading, for commenting, for challenging me, for understanding. for simply being. you are the stars in my night sky.

we are lucky. all of us. so amazingly astoundingly lucky.

i need to start writing again because my brain is in this weird place where it's all "media! consume!" and then i can't turn it off because i can't seem to focus on anything.

yeah. that didn't really make sense.

anyway.

what YOU CAN DO TO HELP:

in honor of halfamoon, please comment with women you would like me to write. prompts appreciated, will try pairings, though no promises (unless it's like, you know, one i have written already). i will try lots of fandoms with this since they might just be drabbles, so why not. umm, just no RPF right now. otherwise, if you think i've seen it, go for it!

also smaller things will help me feel more accomplished.

so.

if i were going to make an effort to write more . . . professionally and less journal-like this year, and i was thinking about getting a regular old blog, (as in, one i don't have on f-lock almost all the time) and i already have one in progress for reviewing my YA reading . . .

what the heck do you think i could write about? somehow i don't think a daily discussion about whatever random thing comes into my head will work. i want it to be more . . . i don't know. like those crafty blogs. or the cooking ones. or the ones about interior design. only i don't really do those things.

sigh.

maybe the book blog will take all my energy, but i feel like i need another goal for the year, and a blog might be a neat way to track it. maybe something mindfulness related?? I DON'T KNOW.

what is interesting about me? :P

anyway, tomorrow is work, and i need to sleep. if i had a better camera maybe i could try to take a photo a day. i wonder if jackie would let me borrow hers . . . though i have no idea how to use it. hah.

there will be a longer and more update-y post later, but first i had to share this:

cruelty to great whites happens and isn't okay

i know i'm always praising the mb aquarium, but seriously, they are so humane and wonderful and their shark research program is amazing. they definitely prioritize the animals.

great whites are absolutely amazing creatures.

this is definitely torture, and the farallon islands are a PROTECTED AREA. how dare they go there and stick giant freaking fishing hooks into these amazing animals and not even GET THE HOOK OUT.

this article makes me want to cry.

dear my lovely yuletide writer!!

first and foremost, anything you write will be fantastic. also, i know i requested kind of random and obscure things. don't feel bad or obligated to write what i suggest. it's just an idea. and for the record, i'm just keeping the karin slaughter request alive year after year - don't feel bad if you can't/don't want to write it.

second, i like the dark and twisted, so it doesn't have to be a happy ending. however, if you're feeling the spirit of the holiday, go right ahead! (but i really like twisted stuff.)

feel free to ask fox1013, iamsab, and/or girlboymusic to find out anything you need to know about me. :) and i'm pretty much all about friendship here.

and on to the requests!

( let's explore my craziness!Collapse )

basically, i am happy with anything you write!however, if you do decide to throw in psychological stuff, i really, really, ask that you get a good beta for that. it's my pet peeve. but sending people to therapy is like a major kink of mine, but please be careful if you decide to do that. (anyone can use a good therapy session!) also, i love canon. i love stories that work within canon, add to canon, etc. i would love it if you didn't go all AU on me - though if you really wanted to, go free!

Title: You can’t count on me.
Author: furies
Recipient: Mina, redshoeson
Fandom: Scott Westerfeld’s Uglies series (set after the end of Pretties and before the start of Specials)
Pairing: Shay/Tally
Rating: hard-R
Word count: ~ 3200
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. I didn’t write the books. I’m super poor. No offense meant, I write because I love.
Warnings: These Specials are Cutters. Yes, that means what you think it does.
Notes: For the femslash09 challenge. Super-special thanks to fox1013 for hand-holding and making sure I wasn’t bogus-making. ;) Thanks to the mods for being so understanding, and redshoeson for the awesome, awesome prompt. Summary from Abra Moore’s "I Believe".

Summary: “Where is the laughter, where is the hopeful? Where is the light that makes me sing?” Tally's a Special, but she isn't a Cutter, not yet.

*

( you can't count on me.Collapse )

BE A PART OF IT: GIRLSLASH PORN BATTLE!!!
over at femslash_today

go post prompts, please!

not that i don't have my remixredux09 and femslash09 stories to write . . .

sometimes i just can't get my brain to stop. in the past, this might have lead to some not-so-healthy behaviors. but hey! now i just can't sleep, so please excuse the ramblings.

this whole fandom wank about warnings and triggers has actually triggered me - not the debate over whether or not we should have warnings, but the debate about what constitutes a "trigger", definitions being tossed around and terms that aren't defined (like the now nebulous PTSD) and whether or not being someone who has triggers means that you have mental health issues, and, as a subset of that, what mental health is - a disease? a result of abuse? etc.

i have mental health issues. if you know me, you know this. i don't want to do a whole song and dance about it, because part of what i enjoy as a writer and participator in fandom is that my own personal issues AREN'T a part of what is seen, unless i choose it to be. so if i read a story that deals with something that i personally know a lot about and gets it really well? i might choose to disclose. if they get it really wrong? i might choose to disclose. regardless, it's my choice, and my prerogative to decide. which is, i know, a privilege of HAVING a "hidden" disability/minority/etc. but in the same breath, the whole scary idea of the internet is that you can create a person that isn't you - or that you can't make assumptions about a person's skin color or background simply by their choice of layout. (or you can, but they are still just assumptions unless the writer chooses to define themselves in those terms.)

i, personally, don't really care if there are warnings or not. i grew up reading on alt.tv-xf and used warnings to FIND what i wanted - i didn't want schmoopy MSR, or MSR at all, really, so they came in handy. in this way, i suppose i can see the argument for "spoiling", though i never felt spoiled - i read about seventeen zillion takes on what "scully angst" meant.

being someone that has triggers, however, i do believe in using warnings - not necessarily for me, but for others. (i'm the sort that reads the story if the story says it has something that might be triggering - i want to see how they handled it, what they think about it, etc. - but i'm also possess a great ability to compartmentalize - and if i see the warning, i know to shift into "reading as a textual source" and not "reading for enjoyable story" mode.) which also helps - maybe i just want to read strange AUs that night. or a certain pairing. we already do that, don't we?

the warnings i think should be universal are: non-con, dub-con, suicide, self-injury, eating disorders, as these are the most common psychological "triggers" or trauma/disorders that are most prone to triggering. i also like the general "this deals with dark shit" warning, which is pretty much almost everything i've ever written, and the general warning/disclaimer type thing i use the most. i think those are the most common, but i could be missing some.

please don't think you are protecting me, or anyone else, by saying "IT'S A DISEASE". it's not a disease. there is no cure. our brains do not have ringworm, or some weird fungus. mental illness is NOT the same as brain disease - it is NOT MS, with plaque on the brain, or parkinson's, etc. brain chemistry might be messed up, but it is not the brain itself. there is also no CURE. in a lot of cases, the "illness" is actually the brain's best way to cope with something that it encountered. (see anna freud and defense mechanisms, to start.) everyone has probably wanted or requested a "magic happy pill" but it doesn't exist.

anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, etc. return a person to baseline. they do not solve the issues underlying the reason for it. they are not a cure.

i am not a "sick" person. i am not a disease. i am not an illness. i am a person, just like everyone else here. i do not want warnings because i am "sick" or "diseased". i want them because i am vulnerable to certain things, and i am aware of that, and how i react, and so i am doing my best to cope and deal. i want them because i know what it's like to be triggered, and i would like to spare people that tribulation, if possible.

(note: exposure therapy has its place and time, i will be the first to say. (if you believe in behaviorism, you have to believe in the power of exposure therapy.) but it is something that is usually controlled, in a safe environment, and worked up to - so don't think you are doing someone a favor by surprising them with a snake when they are afraid of snakes. there's a reason you have to be licensed to do this sort of work.)

it's not about readers, it's about owning what you write. it's about being a more aware person. it's not about pigeon-holing people as "diseased" or "sick" or even "traumatized" or "abused"- it's realizing that your way is not always the best way, and for reasons that are bigger than simple preference, but for people's health. it's saying, yes, there is a difference between being sad and being depressed, a difference between being disturbed and being triggered. it's acknowledging that mental health takes many shapes and forms, and that people and brains are both different and the same. if we can allow for 50 million kinks, certainly we can entertain the idea of triggers in our thoughts - they are not diametrically opposing thoughts.

people aren't asking to be handled with kid gloves, or for everyone to tip-toe around them. they are asking for a general level of respect. i should think people could rally that up.

i kind of tried to transcribe the ayatollah's speech, as i listened. it was long, and i'm going to paste what i have here, in case you don't see it or what to see it quickly - no commentary from me, things in parentheses are what people were chanting.

( it's not exactly verbatim, and i skipped some of the internal iranian stuff because it was about 2 hours longCollapse )

WOOO!!! I GOT THE BEST femslash09 PROMPT EVER. (for me.)

::weeps with delight::

i only hope my author is half as excited as i am, which leads me to:

dear femslash09 brave writer:

i feel i should note, straight off, that i love the twisted. dark, angst, death, mean sex, hate sex, torture, apocafic - yeah, all up my alley. so really, feel free to GO AT IT. if you've got a plot bunny, let it run free on the open plains! have no fear! and these are in absolutely no particular order, for the record.

my only real request? i really don't like fluff. (except maybe if violet is pregnant in the violet/charlotte situation, but otherwise, no, not really.) but i'm hoping you can get that from the pairing requests. however, i will love whatever you write, because i love all these women. i'm okay with happiness, or ending on a note of hope, or whatever, i just am not really the "story full of sunshine and rainbows!" type of girl. if you wanted to give them some total crisis, i wouldn't be opposed. ;) i'm okay with second person, too! (first person is my least fave, though i know sometimes someone just starts talking!)

( cut for length, since i babbleCollapse )

all four secret society girl books for YOU! enter to win! and if you do win, send me the books when you are done! ;) (PLEASE enter, i want to donate the books to my california local library, which has NO money right now, and always has had a small YA section.)

how these stories got published

i want her life right now. especially since she's super nice, has a really nice puppy, and now is writing about KILLER UNICORNS. hahahah, that's SO awesome. i can't wait to get my hands on "Rampart".

but really, quasiradiant found the first SSG book on amazon for me, and was like, YOU NEED TO READ THIS, IT TOTALLY SOUNDS LIKE YOU, and it was! it was so much fun. and then i found out it was a series! even better. i want TAP & GOWN now, but roughly two weeks isn't that so bad to wait - especially since the second "Beautiful Americans" book got pushed back to a december release (so not fair) and everything else is out in the fall.

now back to watch the yankees/a's game and hope the a's can pull something out . . . i heart my little team, even when the announcers rag on them constantly. (and jeter, posada, swish and damon have done enough damage to make my fantasy team happy, so let's give the a's this one, yeah?) also, suzuki threw out melky - go kurt, go! (i really need to add more a's players to my fantasy team. man. i have none.)

this is for thelittlebang, FYI, which i can't properly link to on my phone. stupid internet being down.

here are some links to what are apparently the new covers of the uglies trilogy by scott westerfeld. they are the UK versions, it turns out. the covers may be triggery, no joke.

uglies: this one i kind of get, in the context of the books, though it still bothers me

pretties: the cover only link isn't working

specials: book three. i can't even.

i cannot ... explain my disgust and hatred for them. i suppose i might have not been up just by the uglies cover, but the last two don't even make *sense*. plus they are sensationalistic in a super disturbing way. i would not want my kid picking up that copy of specials, and i have to say, i'm really glad i have the old set.

i am so disturbed. really.

does anyone know why they would go this way? or why new covers were even necessary? please, someone, help me understand!! especially if these make sense in some way, or something! because right now, i'm ready to puke.

ETA2: should work now!! thanks!!

ETA3: this is the cover for "extras": again. don't get it.

all BSG people should read this: decisions and how "sometimes a great notion" was written, decided, and executed

NO SPOILERS if you have already watched the episode. (though confirmation of stuff that some people might believe is still speculation?? i am a spoiler-phobe, and was fine with this.)

i found this very, very interesting (and was pleased, of course, because it affirmed my belief of what the episode was all about - hey, i can't say i'm completely modest) and i largely thought that what they tried to do worked.

specific discussions about the women in the episode were enlightening.

also, i didn't realize that this filmed during the strike! that brings an even more desperate feel to everything they were doing.

and i'll put this behind a cut: ( more about this ep, because i refuse to be spoiled about anythingCollapse )

oh. my. heavens.

i got the BEST yuletide story this year, no joke. i mean, this is like when fox1013 wrote me l'engle. but this - this is the story i've wanted FOREVER. and it's BRILLIANT. it's hilarious and snarky and witty and loving and REAL.

persephone/hades, where hades finds his sensitive side, and persephone learns a little about torturing the dead.

this is not a chick flick

not only is it a fantastic take on persephone and hades and their relationship, the other gods and goddesses show up in fine form - hera, artemis, lecherous zeus, stupid apollo, theiving hermes, etc. etc. SO. DAMN. BRILLIANT.

SERIOUSLY. READ IT. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

THANK YOU, YULETIDE SANTA!!!!

i want the author reveal sooo badly . . . though now i'm especially embarrassed by the way my story turned out. oh well.

happy yuletide!!

dear fantastic yuletide writer,

okay, so i know my requests are really, really random. i can't really explain what happened when i was signing up, but i'm always a little off-kilter.

BUT! regardless of my crazy, WHATEVER you write will make me a happy clam. seriously! that anyone somehow matched up to my requests is kind of crazy, so THANK YOU.

and now i will make a cut for length and to spare my fl: ( here is the cut!Collapse )

this is kind of incredible. also, the mccain/palin part almost killed me with hilariousness.



pass it on! HISTORY DOES REPEAT! (it's kind of scary how well the lyrics work.)

(i also love the jean valjean dude, popping up with his coffee cup throughout. this could only have been better if it was the cast of the office as well. with jim and pam as marius and cosette and karen as eponine.)