Hi everyone,

I wrote this one in 2012. Feels like time to drag it out again.

The Duel
David (Eugene Field) Harrison

Republicans and democrats
Across the aisle in the chamber sat:
T’was half past session, their faces were red,
Nor one nor t’other had done what they said.
Six-pack Joe snapped open a can
Wondering why any of these idiots ran;
I wasn’t there; I simply relate
What I read about this sorry state.

Republicans roared, “You’re destroying our nation!”
Democrats clambered their tintinnabulation,
The air was littered, an hour or so,
With pomposity and bits of Poe,
While the justices in their supreme places
Held up their hands before their faces,
And congress preened in self-admiration. 

(Now mind: I’m only telling you
What Joe Six-pack declares is true!)
Citizens everywhere looked blue
And wailed, “Oh, dear! What shall we do?”
But our leaders fought like a dog and a cat,
Wallowed this way and tumbled that,
Employing every tooth and claw
In the awfulest way you ever saw –
And oh! How the hot air gassed and blew!
(Don’t fancy I exaggerate – I got my news from the state of State!)

Post election, where the leaders had swaggered
They found no trace of posturing braggart,
And some folks think unto this day
That citizens voted the scoundrels away!
But the truth is this – and I raise a cup,
The Do-Nothings ate each other up!
Now what do you really think of that!
(Joe Six-pack told me so,
And that is how I came to know.)